₦airaland Forum

A man forgot to zip up his pants,and a passerby chick told him ur garage is open. The guy smiled and asked her whether she saw his 911 tipper loaded with granite inside d garage. She told him yes but it wasn't a tipper but a keke napep with two flat tires.

@ times, they do go by intimidating nicknames like lady Gaga, Oprah baby, Beyonce baby, Rihanna baby etc. Naija babes sef.

‎​‎​‎​Girls and their Ajepako lifestyle :/, na them go form pass but dem don forget say we guys don sabi their scope :p , whn we see ajepako babe, we go sabi them with the way they look and the way they talk. Below are few ways to recognize an ajepako girl,

1. Na them dey dress pass for any occasion, too much make up, but they still end up looking like a werewolf or avatar #smh#, ladies, ajebutter ladies dress simple and even witout make up, they still look beautiful.

2. Nowadays, ajebutter and ajepako babes now use BBs, but calm down, we can diffrenciate them. An ajebutters BB is alwys in her bag, BUT an ajepakos BB is alwys held tight in her fists (alwys pingin) :/ must u announce to evry1 that u use a BB?

3. As dem form reach, they can't even afford a Bold2 or the Torch. Most of them go for the UK used curve2, BUT hey, they buy Torch evry week i.e u see them and say "oh, so u use a curve2" and they'll ansa "yes, but I'm gettin a Torch next week". Ask them d same que the next week, and theyl give u the same answer #smh#

4.Na them dey change DP pass on top BBM and with statuses like "me in shoprite, me in Silverbird etc" :/

5. They are so daft that they can't even spell the simplest words eg ask them to spell BOOK and they'll be like "BUK, BUKE, etc, BUT ull be so surprised in how fast they spell sophisticated words like " Blackberry, Brazillian Hair, Tantalizers, Shoprite" etc

6. Na them go party pass, and na them snap pass for occasions. Take them out and afta sitting for like 5minutes, they'll start whispering "abeg snap me, make that wine show o" etc, Lol

Those are the few I can get, if I get more, I go let una know, lol. If u do any of the things listed above, u be correct ajepako, we know una type, but if not, ure a certified Ajebutter :* , Thumbs up to Ajebutter girls

Why again Ikedi? As ur personal medic, I ve warned u of the dangers in doing cocaine. And ur letter above to Mr president is one of the dangers. D earlier u stop doing hard drugs,d better for u. I'm sorry dat I decided to make dis professional understanding between us public since u made ur letter to Mr president. By so doing, u failed to keep of drugs upon all ur promises to me. Eeedioot! NDLEA take note.

@Rhino, u can't go nysc camp with one week pregnancy. But, after camp, u can. Why? Because of the military training in the camp which may be tantamount to d development of d baby. In camp also, the camp officials do make announcements concerning people with terminal ailments, to desist from field activities. Please, at times, do remove d cloak ethnic sentiments and say things d way it suppose to be.

Chai! Eyaaa, so Naija don turn to Sin city (Vegas)?

Mbakutu na Gernded, Ya dikwara unu na mma. ka chi fonu umunnem.

Abagworo, n' eziokwu, ihe idere n' ogbako a, egosighi ihunanya gi nyere odimma Ndigbo. Okwa oburu na obu onye Yoruba kwuru udi okwua, itibe weta ya ka egbuo. Biko, kwanyere onwe gi ugwu. Obi anuli m bu na, Ndigbo na aga n' iru n' ihe igbasara ochichi gomenti oge ugbua. Ihe ikwesiri ina ekwu kita bu aru ndi Ikegwuru Ohakiya (okwukanwata, ka obu di ochikanwata) mere, megide ndi Imo, ka efcc, icpc na ndi ozo obu oru ha ijide ndi zuru ego oha mata maka ya. Ejim ohere n' ekele ndi Imo maka ya bu ugo ha turu site n' ibinye aka n' akwukwo maka agum akwukwo n' efu. Ndigbo ga adiriri. Nwanne unu nwoke, onye Omambara (Anambra) detara ozi a.

It must not be Gods own. We ve got contemporary Igbo names Chikayima» Sochima, Munachi, onumsinachi(my joy is from God), Chiemuo, Chukwudum, Chukwuekeka etc.

I don't think Next is as hopeless as sahara. D issue is not about bein tribal in reportage but they are so inept in investigation before reporting.When I came to dis conclusion was when dey accused d COAS and his younger brother of bein against pdp opponents in Abia guber polls. The names of people and d towns dey were calling was totally nauseating. Next is d best news media in dis country. Their news reportage is second to non in naija.
@Alh.Haram or whatever, must u show that u are a cow in public forums like dis? Whenever u reply issues in nl, it must be to attack someone. Help ur clueless self by bein positive at times. Efi ugwu

Stop instigating such tribal madness. Ndigbo, I repeat Ndigbo, will never stoop so low to such rubbish because value education. We aint as hopeless as the almajiris of the northern extraction. Plz, respect urself.

What has dis innocent young man done to these mad rams? Must we do things the Arewa way? 38 out of 50 years isn't enough for those cows? I don't know whether I'm still in Nigeria or Northgeria? GEJ, plz, give d goddam soldiers shoot at sight order. We can't tolerate dis shits any longer. Tanx to my peeps in Onitsha, who despite hearing the uproar in d north late but did some tangible destructions here. I'm just praying for a Sudan solution towards dis man made crises. I hate it when I remember that, it was the egocentric nature of the Brits that made us to share dis unholy wedlock called Nigeria with these mallams (madrams).

I don't know whether Nigeria has now turn to Northgeria? Must everything in this country go the Arewa way? 38 out of 50 years isn't enough for them? I think its right time we sit down and re-negotiate our unity as a nation.

No single mallam dey Onitsha right now.

^^^ No mind dos Arewa orangutan. Cows

@Azzezengr, d failure of Iwu was as a result of ur uncles "Do or Die" agenda. Do u think if it was ur uncle from Otta farm, he will give such room for a free and fair election? Ur guess is as good as mine. My brother, just give kudos to GEJ for allowing our votes to be counted. He's already fulfilling his promises to us. If u aint happy with dis epoch making history, den u are free to choose between d lagoon or wet transformer. Tata

The truth remains that, Ndigbo voted a candidate of their choice. This is evident in the republican nature of an Igbo man. We weren't coerced to do so.  In 1999, we presented an honest Nigerian in d person of Dr. Alex Ekwueme but d Arewas chose d western bloc due to d fact that, he was d person dat  presented a memorandum (on behalf of Ndigbo) during d 1996 sovereign national conference, for d creation of 6 geo political zones in the country(which was d measure used in breaking d united north and giving some breathing space to d middle belt who were more of second class citizens northerners. Then, d Oduas presented another good Nigerian in the person Dr. Olu Falae but d Fulanis (with their deluded assertions of born to rule imagination) did it their own way. Also, remember that eminent Igbo sons like CC Soludo and Ken Nnamani supported d candidature of Atiku during d PDP primaries. We voted personalities and not parties. In enugu state for instance, d people voted massively for pdp bc of the achievements of their wonderful governor in just four years, which d previous governor, C Nnamani couldn't do in an eight year tenure. In Anambra central senotorial election, d people voted for d man dat told them dat they ve got enough money to fix d state ahead of a national icon who belongs to a party perceived to be pursuing d Igbo ideology and voted for Acn known as d Oduas platform. In Imo state, not minding d thug parading himself as  d governor, d people defied all odds to vote for the candidates of their choice. We lost our beloved brother Chuba Okadigbo to Buharis campaign and nothing was done to know what really transpired during dat campaign.          
After d recent election of NASS members, someone posted that Yorubas have been liberated and my reply was good for u guys. But, d truth remains that my brothers in d west voted party and not personality coz some former folks of d umbrella boys who were more or less cloned versions of C Nnamani at d senate  dat joined d broom guys were also voted in. We can't vote for someone who truncated our nascent democracy in 1983 with d barrel and now come for that which he helped in destroying some 28 years ago. Some talked about Patito, but were so fast to forget that he pulled out of the race and declared for Shekarau. We didn't even see his posters in d east.  
I will forever remain thankful to my Igbo brothers for doing dis great job. Ma Naijiria ekwere ma ha ekweghi, anyi ga adiliri. Iseeeeeeee

why are naija people so tribal, so because an Ibo man leaves in Lagos he or she have to vote ACN, and again what free education is the writer talking about, first the Ibos in Lagos pay 70% of the tax in Lagos so they are even at lost than other tribe in Lagos as far as distribution of tax wealth is concern in that state. the free education is mention is they are money in the first place, so the Governor is not doing any Ibo Lagosian any fervor is the writer pupated.
Honestly, nl is turning into chelsea/man utd (Yoruba/Igbo) fan zone. Most of these tribalist no get sense at all, coz Tinubu, Orji Kalu and co. dey pack dough and dey arrange political space for their unborn children and una just dey here dey talk trash. With all these happenings in this forum, u will come to a conclusion that renaissance will never take place in this country. Youths in the Arab world are using forums ( just like our nl) to demand for a better government devoid of corruption but our own na ethnic bashing.

@Nwa-afo, ima nke bu eziokwu. Peter is doing nothing in Anambra state. Your uncle Peter Obi awarded dredging of nwangene at rate of 3bil since 3 years ago but nothing is going on there. Plz, kindly advice him that he should leave naija when he's done with his looting else his a*ss will be roasted in prison. He's nothing but a hypocrite.

@Orikinla, odika ara ona apu gi? Rijuo nsi onu!(Nsi afo osisa). Kedu ife kpatara Ndigbo agaghi ezuru ndia ike? Ndigbo umunnem, jisinu ike gbaba mbo n' ife obuna unu n' eme. Fa choba ochichi, ka anyi nwere oriri na okuku. Ndigbo ga adinuo.

Dora made d worst mistake in her life by pitching her tent with Peter Obi. Dora was and she's still my favourite candidate. @Nwa-afo Agulu, if u aint in d know of d happenings in Anambra state, u close ur mouth. Obi can't even win Ngige in his Anaocha lga not to talk of d state at large. There isn't much difference btw Obi and CC Mbadinuju. Anambrarians hates Obi to d core.

17 october is mine. I pray that I will get a girl whos birthday is 29th feb. like Bece. Lol na only on lp yrs for her birthday celebration.

@ poster, first and foremost, you have not seen a plane b4. Which simply means u hav not heard of Barak Obama b4 not to talk of going to his country. Seun, please sure dat minors are not allow in dis forum if its possible. Rubbish thread

I think the problem with nigeria isn't the 'government' the government, though they don't do it the best, is the only entity in Nigeria working for the betterment of nigeria in any aspect.


the PEOPLE in nigeria have many problems that they're want to scapegoat the government for, and they're not holding up to their end of the deal.

Most nigerians don't pay taxes, few vote, and few exercise civic responsibility.
few throw their trash in the garbage as opposed to the street, few follow ANY laws set by the government let alone care to learn them, too many resort to violence.

The nigerian government has marked roads and set regulations, Nigerians still drive on the lines and violate them brazenly.

the nigerian government is corrupt, but the nigerian people are as well, so were do we get off saying the government is the problem

i personally know of a contractor in Imo that got a government contract to build a village road. 100% nigerian man. He took the money and ran.
this happens over and over and over.

so enough of the blame game
@bolded, u are so funny. Honestly, u made me laugh in Ota. How can u say that someone abandoned govt. Project and ran away with d money. Even if ur a baby, u don't Babalawo to tell u that the govt. that awarded that contract do share the money. Again u said that Nigerians drive with reckless abandon. Sincerely speaking, its like u are in SA with the poster. Drive stupidly in Lasgidi at ur own peril. So please, u guys should stop all these una bloody renaissance push. Why, because u are faint hearted, that's why u left ur mother land Canan land where everything is in order. While catapot urself back to Naija and invest ur rands. Then if u talk, we can respond in affirmative. Until then. U dey yarn porto-porto.

True talk and funny as well.

Naija no even dey top 5000 sef.

Enyia, u bi okokonyen ukpanyon! U no get ihere at all. Anyway, I 4get say na FUTO u go sef. Gurl wey see u finish at first day, mean say u no be am.

O+de beta pass u. What do u mean by my Igbo gf? Mahn, grow up som maturity.

Jeez, so bad for an angel. RIP Ella

@Kulie, my dear ur ex wasn't clueless or hopeless. D truth remains that its a general negative syndrome that most of us guys suffers b4 putting up a better life. D above phrase might sound wack or crass to d ladies but believe it or not its reality. Its a pity dat u met him at d wrong time but tanx for lifting d course on him.

^ will u sharap dia akamu or whatever ur dumb name is.

John Okafor popularly known as Mr Ibu yesterday at Agbani a layout in coal city (Enugu) lost his wife and three kids to kidnappers. www.sunnewsonline.com