₦airaland Forum

2. You: “I’m looking for a blue shirt”. Them: “This yellow shirt will fit you more.”






Are you mad?

1. How they are named:








Na wa.

17. How you feel when they travel for a while.






Freedom

16. Them, when you try to move out of the house.





God of mercy

15. Your parents, when you ask them to knock before entering your room






What are you hiding, I’ve kuku seen everything”.

14. When your parents still force you to go to church every Sunday.




Hay God

13. You, when your mother wants to gist with you by force.




Mummy, no please!

12. You, when your parents say “Remember to close the door” or “Don’t forget to take your plate to the kitchen”





As if I don’t have a brain again.

11. When your parents stress you for taking a small stroll to the junction





You’re always going out”.

10. When they ask you to drop fuel money for the generator but you don’t use the fridge and TV.






Chineke

9. When they stop cooking for you and ask you to ‘sort yourself out’.





Na wa o!

8. When they make you pay bills in the house and leave the most expensive one for you






But I’m still the child in the house.

7. When your parents try to tell you what to wear.








Kuku take me back to kindergaten.

6. You, when your parents threaten to kick you out of the house.





I knew I was adopted!

5. Your parents, when it’s 6pm and you’re not home.






Jesus, am I 13 years old?

4. How your parents see you when you try to tell them you’re an adult.






Sigh!

3. When your parents disturb you about marriage but get angry when you have a boy/girlfrien






I should marry myself?

2. When your parents make you their chief driver.







“Tolani, come and drive me to work”.

1. When your mother still makes you eat only one piece of meat







As I’m old like this?

.

Anyway, all na jokes. Lagos is awesome and so is the movie. Oya, go see it if you haven’t.

The real Lagos fire department when you call them:






No vex, Captain America!

Captain America, calling for the Lah-gos fire and rescue department after a bombing




…and they actually arrived on time.

Real Lagosians, when they hear anything that just sounds like a gunshot:






They are not about that life, abeg

Then see Lah-gosians that were just standing around watching people with guns and bombs fight.





How?

not one Igbo brother shouted “heysss fine boy!” at him.






Who will now buy all their jeans trousiz?

not one Igbo brother shouted “heysss fine boy!” at him.






A whole Anthony Mackie

Even when Falcon finally came down to join her





Who will now buy all their jeans trousiz?

…and nobody did this:

Fast forward to Black Widow in the middle of a Lah-gos market





See all those shops behind her