₦airaland Forum

This occur yesterday night, d cus of d fire is not knw yet bt millions of naira was at d cus of this.... Photos blow

Na so man u fans dey behave ooo... U guys should learn how to win games after games like Arsenal ....

Ochuko.mike@gmail.com

Hahahaahhahaha, see as people dey do clamanity,, Moses na my uncle pikin 4 warri oo

A man and his wife went to Israel and decided to pick a boat to see the beauty of river Jordan. When they asked the boatman how much it will cost them, He said $500. The man shouted: No wonder Jesus decided to walk on the sea.

How to cross road in Nigeria
Look right and left for Vehicles & Okada, look up for aeroplane, down for bomb, back for Kidnappers, then walk zig zag to avoid stray bullets.

A couple watching a Premier League match together.
After five minutes:
Wife: Is that Saint Obi?
Husband: No. He is Michel Obi. Saint Obi is a Nollywood Actor.
Wife: Michel Obi is smart. He should be in Nollywood movies like his brother.
Husband: He does not have a Nollywood actor brother.
Wife: See Another Goal in less than a minute.
Husband: No. It is called action replay.
Wife: Looks like Enyimba is going to win this match.
Husband: It is not Enyimba. It is Man U vs Chelsea.
Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a Firing Squad.
Husband: He is called a centre referee and he is not calling for a firing Squad. It's a free Kick.
Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a Free Kick?
Husband: mute, not uttering a word.
Wife: Now is the centre umpire talking to his wife on the phone?
Husband: He is communicating with his lines man.
Wife: Why is he showing only red and yellow cards. Is there not any Blue card or something?
Frustrated husband turns off the TV.
*Wife turns it on and watches "African Magic".*
Husband: Who is this Mercy Johnson?
Wife: Listen to what they are saying and Don't disturb me.
Who wicked pass?

A Professor at the University was giving a
lecture on the
Supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asked,
"How many people here
believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise
their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of
you who believe in ghosts, do you think
you've seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their
hands."That's really good. I'm really glad
you take this Seriously.
Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 Students raise their
hands."Has anyone here ever touched a
ghost?" 3 Students raise their
Hands? "That's Fantastic! Now let me ask
ask you one question further, has any of
you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, EMEKA
raised his hand, The
Professor takes off his glasses, and says,
"EMEKA, all the Years
I've been giving this lecture, no one has
ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.
You'vegot to come up here and tell
us about your experience." Emeka The Big redneck
student replied with a nod and a grin,and
began to make his way up to the Podium.
When he reached the front ofthe room,
the Professor asks, "So, tell us what it's
like to have sex with a ghost?"
"Shit! From way back there, I thought you
said, 'Goats!'"
One word for emeka!""

Teacher: "who is the minister of education?"
Children: "Mrs Dame Patience Jonathan"
Teacher: "who is CBN governor?"
Children: "Aliko Dangote"
Teacher: "correct. who is the minister for information?"
Children: "Mike Adenuga"
Teacher: "correct. who is the minister for sports.
Children: "Stephen keshi".
Teacher: "Correct! "who composed the national anthem
of Nigeria"
Children: "wizkid"
Teacher: "correct" what is 2+5?
Children: "25"
Teacher:- "correct. what is the capital of Nigeria?"
Children: "Abia-umuahia "
Teacher:"correct. Who is d president of nigeria?"
Children. "General Muhammadu Buhari"
Teacher. "Correct! Who stopped the killing of twins"
Children: "P-square"
Teacher: "correct! who is the minister for women
affairs"
Children: "Genevieve Nnaji"
Teacher: "Correct, Who is d governor of Anambra state?
Children: "Baba Tunde Fashola"
Teacher: "Correct!" Teacher:- "Good! Clap for
yourselves... (children claps)
Teacher: It's gonna Remain like that until government
increases my salary!!!

yame014: Car

everybody love car but not everybody can drive car

I am an object everybody love me, but any time i come close 2 them they drive me away what am i?

7 So True Fact About Women
Believe It

1. Most important thing for
WOMEN is FINANCIAL SECURITY !

2. Although this is important,
They still go out & buy
expensive clothes !

3. Although they always buy
expensive clothes , they never
have anything to wear !

4. Although they never have
nothing to wear they always
dress beautifully !

5. Although they always dress
beautifully , they are never
satisfied !

6. Although they are never
satisfied, they always expect men
to compliment them !

7. Although they expect men to
compliment them, when they do
they don’t believe them …

READ 2FACE APOLOGY TO FANS ON HIS WEDDING IN DUBAI

My fans, am really sorry 4 my wedding venue....i will make it up to you guys. The main reason why the wedding was at dubai is because if i fix it in Nigeria, the pastor will definitely ask if anybody knows why this two won't be joined in holy matrimony and Una sabi how many pikin with dia different mama wey i get nah...all of dem go stand up spoil my show.

So na why i put am dia cos they won't afford the transport and even if they pastor asked, it will be in Arabic and nobody will understand. - 2Face Idibia...

Booty4me: What of us dat ar using mobile? What shld we post

my guy reach to ask Oº°˚˚˚°ºoh

djeezy: Bullsh&t, that's so wack. It's like a kid accosting a girl.

guy take am easy.... Oº°˚˚˚°ºoh which 1 be accosting again na

gendebs: The surest and the most reliable line to woo any girl except some hausa girls. If you can cram this and perfect them without missing a word, be rest assured of getting the girl of your desire

Hi beauty, Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular compound. Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a
vector of magnitude (likeness)from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated. My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.
Beauty, i will be happy if you meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, there my heart will be like a
solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras (include ur name after the pythagoras)..

Testimonys please

na only you spoiled your Market if you go preach this kind preach 4 ijebuode Girl

eduson77: Slapping a soldier on duty without a coffin by your side

is madness...

GCRS87: May God hlp dem oo. Wish d flood is oil, evry person must ve bn smiling instead of worrying or crying.

you got it wrong man.....
We will be telling a different story by now....cus if it was oil...there would have been explocive disater...

Who Is The Best Central Attacking Midfielder On EPL??
Santi Cazorla-------- ------>
Eden Hazard--------- ------>
Comment

My Dad do not and My Mum do, while me? Am on the side of my Dad i never believe in nightmare until last night that i had a terrible dream that seem to be so real, when i woke up i was very happy that it was a dream, Uptil now am still worried about the dream and i do not believe in Dreams.
The dream goes like this, i dramt that i lost my Elderly and my younger brother and i was crying bitterly, as i was crying immediately people started running from nowhere,I saw Myself running also with my younger sister cus i was so afraid that nothing should happen to her. then I woke up only to find out that it was a dream and my younger brother whom i lost in the dream was sleeping close to me.
You don't know how happy I am knowing that it was a Dream, the point here now is that am still doubting the dream.
Do you believe in dreams like this or you don't?

sleeky8: i wil bet u hav nt finishd secondary skul, wat crap did u jst type?

i did't even go 2 school. i nor try?. Abeg correct me

sleeky8: i wil bet u hav nt finishd secondary skul, wat crap did u jst type?

i did't even go 2 school. Lol

E get dis my guy, he like borrow welwel, so e get oneday hungry dey beat am, ni e go meet one of he neighbour 2 borrow am stove 2 te cook food, he meet another 1 make he borrow am karosine, na so e kon te borrow everytin when he te cook dat day, later in d evening ni rain fall, ni d fool kon go meet he neibour ni e tell am, Neibour abeg the thing dey hungry me, u fit borrow me yur wife, i swear na for this night only Abeg borrow me.
The kind beat wen he recive dat day i sure say even for e grave he go stil dey think am