₦airaland Forum

Thank God for your lucky escape! Better you found out what type of person she is before than after marriage. My adivice is to find out if you could get another copy of those certificates, even for a fee. If you can, follow that option and don't conact this girl again. I would not advice you to go to the Police becasue they are the biggest criminals you can ever find.

Someone hit and extensively damaged my car recently. The guy was just begging and had no intentions of paying for the damage. In my frustration I seized a shopping bag from his car. When they Police later became involved, they detained me for theft (even after recovery of the seized items). They tried to make out out my actions were more serious than it was. Of course I know they wanted money and they must have been rubbing their hands with glee after hearing my childrnens accent -  pound signs flashing in their eyes, They told me to get somebody to bail me and wanted to let this man go. I knew that this meant bribing them and I told them that I do not know anybody to bail me as I usually live in the UK. They then said they will release me but impound my car.

Meanwhile me and my children have already spent 6 hours at this filthy station. That was when I lost it, I said the if this was Nigerian justice, I was going back to the UK. That somebody damages my car and they detain me and my car and let the person go. I told them that I know what the wanted and that they will never get if from me. By this time my voice had risen an octave. They boss that ordered the impound then came out and told us to go with the car. I digress but I had to tell this story.

Please do not go to the Police as they will exthort money from you to help you.

Not in a million years! My mother-in-law (may God rest her gentle soul) was the kindest , sweetest person you could ever meet. I still miss her terribly

Do you have right of abode or leave to remain in the United Kingdom? Because if you don't you cannot automatically walk into a job. You are required to leave the country when your studies finish as you are on a student visa (I assume). Even if you find an employer to help you get a work permit you might be required to come back to Nigeria to apply for it.

So, start planning early or you could find your self staying illegally. These days it is not so easy to go through the marriage route to stay.

It is not only stars that have plastic surgery. I have had procedures done on me and I couldn't be happier

I use both.

My husband would never ask me to be a stay at home Mom because he knows the fullfilment I derive from my job. The Children also need to have a role model, they need to realise that it is right for Mom to go out and make a living. The decision needs to be one for both and not the husband telling the wife to stop working.

no.

Do you blame them? We brought this on ourselves.

Hire a cook

secretive.

My husband is an Anglican and I am a Roman Catholic and so are the children. Ours was a mixed marrige which is allowed by the catholic church. He goes to his and I take the children to mine. He sometimes comes with us. It has never been a problem in our marriage.

If you are in an ordinary relationship then it is easy to cut your loses and move on. If you are in a long term marriage, have children, properties and business together, it is not that easy to just pack and go. What next? While I will not condone infidelity, I will not throw away a stable long marriage just becasue of a fling. Infact I will be more worried about catching a disease. While my husband has never cheated (to my knowledge) men will be men especially Nigerian men. They don't do it becasue they are not getting it right at home or for any other tangible reason. They just do it for the sake of it.

To keep it manageable. The afro hair in its natural state is kinky and therefore difficult and painful to comb.

It is the in thing now. I carry large bags but not heavy ones. Because they are quite expensive I would not want to damage it by putting very heavy things inside.

If only it was a only pagan problem, but this transcends christianinty, education, elightenment etc. I find it evil and unfair. I do not agree with it. That said, it is still alive and when people want to get married in Igbo land this issue comes up in the enquiries.

I admire you for your courage in going ahead and wish you luck. Maybe if more people crossed over it will help in getting rid of this evil.

When I was in London I lead one of these 419ers on a wild goose chase. They never knew I was a Nigerian too. They even sent me a copy of their passport. When it got to an advanced stage I told them to send me 500 dollars by western union to prove they are real. I did not hear from them again, 4 months later they actually sent the money. I than let them know that I have beat them at their own game and that I was a Nigerian. I forwarded the copy of his passport to Scotland yard and gave his 500 dollars to Oxfam.

Both places have their good an bad points.

In the UK you pay through your nose in taxes but then they provide you with aminities you need. If your salary is over 40k pounds (not sure what it is now), you pay 40% tax. This is taken directly before you get your pay. You also pay

National insurance
Mortgage or rent
Council tax (you go to jail if you don't pay)
Road tax (If you have a car)
Content Insurance (not compolsory but adviceable)
Service charge (if you own a leasehold property)
Car Insurance
Water rates
Electricity charges
Gas Charges
TV licence (you are fined and get a criminal record if caught watching without one)
School meals charge (if you have children in school)
Childcare (if you have children and work)This is astronomical

to name some. You see why almost what you earn goes back in bills etc. Of course you can reduce this by not having a car but somebody with children needs to have a car.  On the other hand the transport system is clean and reliable but getting increasingly expensive. I usually advice people who ask me if they should relocate abroad not to as life can be very difficult and lonely. Worse for a single person, most people don't have time for you as they are busy looking for money and sometimes have to work for very long hours.  Most people who come either resort to fraud - benefit clams or working under the table. Now in the UK they have tighten up the marriage of convenience scam people use to get their immigration stay regularised.

The UK is also fast becoming a very dangerous place to live due to increasing crime and now a target for Islamist terrorists.

Life is not not rosey in the UK and the roads are not paved with gold contrary to popular myth but if you are hardworking enough and you have the the right to stay, you can make a decent life.

:-x

Accra, Ghana.

I can't believe she will go to an awful actress to a good one.

Harsh but true

The Hollywood Amazing Grace showed for only one week in my then local cinema at Wandsworth shopping center in London. It was withdrawn after 2 weeks as very few people were watching it. So what chance do you think that that the Nigerian one has?

If you have been using a condom and thinking you are 100% safe my advice is to go for a test and fast. Whether put on properly or not the condom is far from a guarantee you will not catch AIDS or anything else. The only thing 100% guaranteed is abstainance. Don't play Russian roulette with your health, abstain if you can!!

I would rather not know. Yes. I am one of those people who believe that what you don't know won't hurt you!! Why give your self a heart attack? Not that I think my husband will cheat. But if he will cheat he will so why trouble myself. I've even made jokes to use a condom if he did. Am I from Mars?

You have to ask yourself what you will do with the information or why you want it. Are you going to act on it or just store it? If you want out of the marriage, maybe you need to find an excuse but if not why make your self ill.

Just my opinion!!

Ironclad: good on you. If you decide to wait I applaud you and wish you good luck.

My one sad regret is that my children do not speak my mother tongue. I have always instilled in them that they are Nigerians who happen to have a British passport. The prefer Nigeria to Britain and also prefer Nigerian dishes to the usual junk food. They are 100% Nigerian except for the accent.

To be honest, the UK and mybe USA is not a good place to bring up children. The society is so much geared toward child empowerment to the detriment of the parents. A society that teenage pregnancy, drug taking, armed robbery, etc is almost the norm. A 9 year old goes and gets pregnant and the parents are proudly sitting beside her at a press conference celebrating that their daughter will be the youngest mother in the country. In the UK children are shooting and stabbing each other to death regularly. In the US almost everybody can get a gun legally and they are carrying guns to school and killing each other. You give your child a good hiding for bad behaviour, the state takes the child from you and into care for safekeeping. That is the biggest joke! What happens? the child becomes the worst you can ever imagine - promiscuity, drugtaking, crime, no education etc. What do you make of that. I could go on and on. If you call this advancement, give me a backward Nigeria any day!!!

People who disrespect where they come from have identity problems and lack self-confidence. Being born in the UK does not make you English, Scotish or Welsh despite what you might think. People need to have roots and not drift in ignorance and think that using street language is cool or disrespecting their elders gives them street cred.

I love the fire, the ambition Nigerian chlidren have in them to succeed in life, despite all the odds. When I see children here going to school in their flip flops and uniform that have seen better days, I just wish they had the same opportunities that children in the UK/US have.

Please give me the the traditional respect Nigerian children still have for their elders anyday.

lol

Why on earth would somebody want to go to Russia to get a job, there are none especially for blacks. They discriminate against each other how much more a black. There is nothing positive for a black person in Russia. My advice is do not go.