₦airaland Forum

5 SIGNS YOU ARE FAILING AS A MOTHER AND THE WAY OUT

Who is a mother and what's the role of a mother? A Mother is a female parent. A mother is the heart of the family, while father is the head.

Mothers nurture, care and teach the children at home. Mother teaches, especially the morals at home to her children.

Mother is the manager of a home. She manages the affairs of the home well and better. While father directs the affairs of the family.

Mothers and fathers are not in contest for anything, post or positions at home. In fact, they mustn't be. Both parents are one and they should work together as one for a common goal of producing children that will be useful to the community, make the nation proud and uplift the name of the family.

No matter what it is, though, fathers and mothers are one, each person must also have a specific role at home that can be linked to such individual if anything goes wrong in the long run.

The reason why fathers cannot be blamed if the children cannot do some basic house chores, is exactly the reason why mothers can't be blamed if school fees of the children aren't paid in time.

So, you see, though we are saying both the father and the mother are one, we can still see that they have their separate responsibilities.

What are the signs that are pointer to a mothers as not living up to expectations as home managers, moral teachers carers, trainers etc

Here let's see them:

1. If your children cannot do house chores
It will be a great disappointment for anybody to visit a home whose manager, (Mother) is still alive and breathing and the teenage girls in that house can't wash the dishes or cook good food.

Regardless of the standard of living in that home. It doesn't matter if they have house maids or they can't afford one. What really matters is that the children in that home must be able to handle some basic chores in that house. Male child is not left out in this requirement. But, most importantly, a girl child of 13 and above, who still resides in that home must be able to cook edible food for the family.

If the boys in that house too can cook well, it is a plus for the mother.

If this article is pointing to you in any way, it's not too late to make amends. Make sure your children always in the kitchen to see you cook or ask the maids to always show them he or she does it.

2. If your teenage boy is not warm or gentle around his sisters
This is another red sign that you are not doing enough as a mother. Your boys and girls must be happy being around each other. The focus here is on the male child.

If you have a male child, ma, that his sisters are not comfortable being around, it may mean you're not doing enough at the home front. We can't hold the father responsible for this, because naturally men are full of egos and have inferiority views about female folks.

Mothers must be on top of this matter and work on the male child in this situation be loving and gentle with not only his sisters but girls generally, the way the mother would have loved to enjoy such from a male folk.

If this paragraph is talking about your son, it's not too late yet. All you need to do is always sit him down for few minutes in a week and let him see why he needs to be a gentle man. Lions don't have friends but dogs are loved my many.

3. If your children don't have home etiquettes
This is another worst situation that no parents should pray to experience. Children that lack morals don't have home etiquette. You don't expect the father that has been on the road fending for the family to sit down at home teaching with the kids teaching them morals.

Another aspect of mothers role is teaching morals to the kids. Mothers are always good with children, no man can take that away. If you have visitors and your kids can't excuse you, it's your fault. Of your kids only bulge into people home without knocking, you will still be held responsible.

Considering the number of hours mums are expected to stay at home with the kids, you cannot but use the opportunity to teach them so, e good lessons about life. Your kids can't just shut you down because they want to express themselves and expect the father to carry the blame. No, he won't. The can't try that with him in the first place.

4. If your children don't respect and honour their father
This is the worst situation a home can experience. If the kids are disobedient to their Father in the house, the mother is to blame. There is no way any child can be bold to disobey the man of the house without the mother's support. Check it.

What will be any mother's gain if her children can mediate in whatever that may be going on at home between their parents, to the extent that the children are now rude to their father?

The fact that the father can't provide for the house doesn't mean the children can go against the fathers orders. If this is happening in your home, quickly caution the kids and rescue the situation.

5. If your children don't miss you when you're away
This sign shouldn't be joked with for any reason. Many people might have overlooked it in the time past but let me call your attention to it once and for all.

If you have teenagers that are still living under your roof and they don't care if you, their mother or their father is not always available, something is taking your place in their hearts and you must find that thing and kill it.

Children, no matter their age group, will care about their parents, especially their mothers. What can replace mothers love? If you play the mother's role the way it should, until your children get married they won't find a replacement.

If you think this doesn't count you are missing a big point here. If a woman had really assumed her mother's role in the lives of her children she'd be irreplaceable. If your children don't care about your presence as they ought to it's a red sign you are have failed them.

Nice one!

zixit:
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Source: www.olulinks.com

As much as many couples try to avoid conflicts in marriage, they still fall into it by the omission of some important things or by error of commission.

Conflicts will come and go. It will only break the couples that are not meant to be in the first place. Yes, that's it. If a particular couple is meant to be, conflicts won't separate them but it will only strengthen them the more.

Couples are supposed to be natural conflicts managers. That is, couples are supposed to expect that conflict will happen and they must be ready to do everything possible to manage it before it's escalates.

I'm happy to inform you that conflicts is a necessity in marriage. Whether you like it or you like it, you will experience conflict in your marriage. Don't feel bad when it happens, but be prepared now to handle it.

This post won't teach you how to handle conflict in your marriage but it will tell you why it is good for your home, in order for you not to fret about it when it happens.

Here we go;

1. Marriage conflicts reveal the real you or your weaknesses
You could have stayed many years in marriage with your partner and yet to know him or her very well or vice versa. This is very possible.

You might have sat to talk and asked each other some deep questions about family background and personal issues when in courtship, yet unable to get to the root of who you are even now that in marriage, until some struggles surface between the two of you. Some people can relate well with this situation.

That's why I maintain that conflict isn't a bad thing in totality in marriage, if it can expose you or your partner for correction. It's just unfortunate that many couples wait until it gets out of hands before attempting to speak out or call for help.

Couples will express displeasures with each other during conflicts and there would be nothing more to hide. Meanwhile, that's exactly what they need to know about each other to know what to work on.

A partner might have been planning to seek divorce. It will shock the other partner to know when they eventually sit down to resolve their differences. This is when to really know each other and weaknesses, if couples pay a very good attention during conflicts. What couples do with the information gathered during this period will determine if it will end well.

This is when good communication sets in.

2. It brings about good communication
This may sound absurd but it is true. But how on earth will strife between couples lead to good communication? It will. Conflicts usually happen for lack of good communication, in the first place and the end result of couples' fight can only better the situation not worsen it. But how?

That's why this write-up poses that conflicts is a necessity in marriage. It can only make your partner speak out whatever he or she has been keeping to himself against you. Can you imagine couple that are still holding hands and attending parties together, yet they have something against each other?

Would it not be a surprise to you that some couples stay under the same roof but they aren't in talking terms with each other? The reason for this most of the time is lack of good communication.

It might not have been your partner's fault if you refused to speak out on some inconveniences you are experiencing in the home. But once the strife breaks out, both of you need to sit down and talk it out. You can even invite a trusted member of the family or a friend to intervene. But that would be a joint decision.

The most important is not to assume on what your partner is angry about but to speak out and let the situation be addressed for good.

3. It strengthens love
After revelation that eventually leads to good communication, it can only end in stronger love lives for the couple that have witnessed conflicts.

Conflict is not in anyway encouraged in marriage, because it's not everybody that can use it for good. Yet there is going to always be something to settle differences with your spouse about in marriage.

Since conflict will always occur should we not learn how to go around it to live it? You can only make this happen if you know what good is in natural conflicts.

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Sparksfly:
[color=deeppink]Okay. You guys should learn to stand past 5mins.[/color]

Holy sh*t. Phuck!

Source: www.olulinks.com

Romance before marriage is the best. I know it's not all of you that would agree with me right now. But in the next couple of minutes you're all gonna be on my side.

Romance can be explained to mean an intimate relationship between two people; a love affair.

It can also mean an adventure, or series of extraordinary events, quests resembling those narrated in romances.

It means to talk about something in a way that makes it seem better than it really is.

To influence or curry favour with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery

To entertain romantic thoughts or ideas.

Looking critically at my explanations of what romance is, you would agree with me that romance before marriage is a good idea.

In case you still don't go in line with what I mean, I'd go further to shed more light in the body of this article.

Best 3 reasons to embrace romance before marriage;

1. IT BRINGS ABOUT INTIMACY
When I said romance, I hope you know am not talking about sex. I hope you know am talking about getting to know each other deeply. I hope you know am taking about adventure.

Have you read a love or romance novel before, where a guy and a lady hold hands and walk each other down the road? You would read and picture how both partners in love would run after each other at the beach. Lovers would do hide and seek behind trees or around flowers.

Should that only happen in story books and not in real life? Should that only bring about imagined intimacy and not the real intimacy in the real life? No!

You should be romantic (adventurous) when in courtship. Visit places together; cinemas, funfair, leadership classes, seminars etc. You should buy and exchange gifts. It's not because it wouldn't happen again when you eventually get married. But because you need to get used to it now and by the time you get married, you would have perfected the act and it' won't be seen as one serious task to embark on.

The end result would be intimacy. You don't give the excuse of i don't know what my partner really wants. You won't say you don't know your partner's love language. You won't say you don't know how to calm your partner when he or she is angry. You must have gone through this and become now so intimate that your hearts beat as one already.

2. IT BRINGS ABOUT DEEP KNOWLEDGE OF MARRIAGE AND HAPPY HOME
The second best reason to engage in romance before marriage is that it helps to dig deep into what marriage truly is. You don't want to venture into what you know just little or nothing about. I'm sure you are wise enough to know it's unwise to follow someone down the road he doesn't know for sure.

When you buy books on marriage to read, discus and share knowledge about it, I hope you know that's romance. When you buy books on courtship, parenting,, marriage or investment and write the name of both of you as a compound name on it and co-read, that's also romance. For instance, Jane and Newton, would be written as Jane-Newton. Elizabeth and Samson, Liz-Samson, etc

While the romance is ongoing, you are acquiring and sharing knowledge of marriage, happy home, finance, investment etc with your partner. By the time you are ready people would be so envious of the knowledge you'd gathered to come together and start a new life.

3. IT BRINGS ABOUT LOVE
The 3rd best reason to engage in romance before marriage is that it's brings about real love. This needs know explanation. It's self explanatory.

Having understood what romance is it needless to say the result would be love if well practiced as explained. You don't fall in love in this situation, (some people believe there is nothing like that) but you would grow in love with your partner.

You would have wronged each other (that's inevitable), misunderstood each other, misquoted each other, assumed each other and settled before you said the "I do" all these together build a relationship and bring out the best in it.

I hope you would agree with me that romance before marriage is irreplaceable the best that can ever happen to two lovebirds.

ireneony:
His small diick though


Modified: To all the small diick guys quoting me, back off!

Why the oyinbo com dey look like zombie na

dubylhover:
very fine black chick

Na only face try small. All the body na palapala!!!

Naijapopular:
Source:


http://www.naijapopular.com/2016/08/ogun-state-speaker-surajudeen-adekunbi.html?m=1

This your source isn't reliable enough!

adewumiopeyemi:
make i book space i don dey here already... u na fit come join me later

35k for what?

cynthia123:
i realize that more than 60 percent of Christains are not faithful when it comes to tithing...

You meant to say more than 80%

bettercreature:
She has found a muslim maga

She has been struggling with Pasuma's mother over the son. I think this will settle it now.

Drienzia:
when lots of Muslims converts to Christianity, we praise God for a new soul av been converted. Buh wen only one Christian(not an active Christian) converts to Muslim .. The whole world no go hear word.

BTW ..its her choice, and I'm happy for her.

God bless you. Was she a Christian before?

Afrok:
I care about the dad calling his daughter out, they're just having family love but what i don't care about is Op's first paragraph... I mean wetin concern me if Op has been busy living life

Watch as Op will take this serious

He said he has been living life as usual —checking on people's account on social media and bitting finger, seeing them living large and he is spying.

Microflux:
Humm.

Any reason for this?

End time?
Porting to Islam is not the big deal, but why she did that. Mayb unfaithfulness in her former religion. And the best way to cover up for that is to go to another religion.

sometimes I call this stupidity of religion which is affecting out world today.

Goodluck to her.


I dedicate this FTC to all OAU students qnd my blog - www.Scholarzine. fans.

Thanks

She wants to marry Pasuma.

feranmi400:
lovely

Na person wey dem talk say dey chop sh**t you dey say lovely to. Smh!

lumzybo:
Parties like this is strictly by invitation cos every chair has a tag.

Gate-crashers ain't allowed.

She is gonna invite widows as usual.

heryurh:
I still can't find the "Bikini body"

Lols. The OP meant to say biscuit body.

Tenkobos:
Girls and celebs sha.

Gels and Celebs are 5 & 6

Some people being donating upandan

Source: www.olulinks.com

Considering the high rate of female child rape these days, nobody will ever listen to any man saying he is being raped. Unfortunately for men, most female children that are being raped are not pointing accusing fingers to women but to men. We are talking about men that are old enough to be their fathers or their elder brothers.

It's so sad. But that's the current and the unfortunate situation that we are.. Kids now getting raped by able men! There has been so much focus on this issue, yet not so much to curb this illicit act.

I'm not trying to discourage the male victims from seeking redress at the appropriate quarters, because I know male rape victims, too, are many out there but their cases are just not pronounced like the females. Or maybe they can't just find their voices; nobody wants to lend them any support to fight for their right.

How many women's rape cases are being well attended to, that men rape case will be taken with such seriousness? It is so sad but it is true. And how well are we equipped to take care of this situation? All these may not make any sense to you if you or none of your relatives have ever been victimized.

Do men get raped really?

Of course! That's why we are discussing this. Many still wouldn't believe men also are being raped, I won't blame them though, how many of such cases have you heard lately? So those who are still arguing it are not to blame.

I can guess what's running in many people's minds right now is male child rape. Not totally about child rape but it's part of it. Male child rape is also common, it's a crime that's easy to commit for the criminals. Do male children being assaulted have such strength to wrestle and fight for their freedom from the claws of these animals? No! Their innocence makes them susceptible in the first place, maybe that's their offense.

What is rape?

Rape, according to Mariam Webster, means to force someone to have sex with you by using violence or the threat of violence.

The English dictionary defined rape as the act of forcing sexual intercourse upon another person without their consent or against their will; originally coitus forced by a man on a woman, but now any sex act forced by any person upon another person

Rape, a crime that happens everywhere. It doesn't matter the level of security, the people's exposure or the civilisation in the country. If a country like America, with their level of development can be recording such a high cases of rape, which country is free from this crime? The difference is that the aid and succor being offered by the developed country to the victims that the developing countries can't afford to do.

I'm sorry, we are going to have to go in the way of the title of this piece. We are talking male rape today. It's a rare topic and that's the more reason why somebody or some group of people have to take it up. Some people are dying in silence and we must wake our consciences.

Men are raped and it's affecting them socially and psychologically. It's more of psychological effect because men won't speak out. They won't just speak out. We cannot continue to fault our government and the system, when we ourselves have this wrong belief that all rape victims are women. Some of us even believe that only women victims should the society fight for.

How can men be raped?

Ok, picture this, if you are a man and a lady is always giving you eye. She always wants you to sleep with her for the reasons only known to her. Let's say you are married or in a relationship or even single. She tries all she can do and one day the opportunity presented itself and she had you. It could be either she gets you fooled, deceived or drunk. She just made sure you did it to her.

Does the scenario above really look like it's a rape issue to you? Now, you see why many people will never believe men if they report rape case against women. But then, let's turn the table. Let's assume it's a lady that's been pestered for sex by a man and later on by crook or hook she gets laid, against her wish, of course, will the case be considered a rape case if reported?

How many men really know that their case is actually a rape case? For instance, If you ask a man who has been intimidated, physically forced or harassed into giving out sex if he was raped, he would definitely say no, he wasn't.

Picture this, too, if your female boss keeps intimidating you to have sex with her and she finally has her way with you. What do you think that is? Ok, let's turn the table around again for clearer understanding. If you are a lady and your boss is a man and this scenario plays out that he forces and intimates you until you are forced to give in to his pressure to have sexual intercourse with him. What do you call that?

Needles to say that it's a rape case if a man is waylaid by a lady, whether they are in group or it was just one woman and had sex with the man. Someone will say how did the man get hard on if he wasn't interested in the sex? Men will understand better that manhood isn't a wood or rod. It is sensitive and even though it's performance at that instance didn't need to be satisfactory before we say the deed has really been done.

Why can't he fight and free himself if he wasn't interested? It's not all men that really wanna fight women. If some men do, at the slightest chance, someone may die and who goes to prison afterwards? It's the killer. Call it self defense or whatever, prison may still be your case, if you are not careful to choose your fight right.

A man can be raped in his own house! Yeah, you heard me right. Husbands can be coerced by wives into having with them at home. In fact, it happens a lot. How many times has the man said he was tired or was not just interested that the woman would take him for his words and she wouldn't start suspecting he is spending the better part of his day with someone else? End result of this disbelief from such wives, most of the time is that the man would be forced into having the sex.

Oh, that's isn't rape? Then turn the table around and make the wive the one being coerced and forced by the husband into having sex with. Is that a rape case, if reported?

Why don't men report rape case then?

1) Men, the way they are wired don't always see being deceived, coerced or physically forced into sex as a rape. Even if they do, you must know it today that men won't ever admit that such a thing happens to them.

2) Men and their ego. "What will I tell the people?" "How will I describe the incident?" Men can't imagine walking with their two legs into the police station or to any societal organization to chronicle the story.

3) "Won't people think I am weak?" "Won't they say I consented?

These are some of the likely reasons why men's rape may still continue to happen.

Let's speak against male rape.

Have you been raped before?

LordZero:
why do i have a feeling that the op is the one in the pics

Ahahahah...you are wicked o

Source: https://mobile.twitter.com/jenslaw_/status/740432471335051264/photo/1

RIP one of the Nigerias finests. You did your bit and left the stage, early though. God knows the best. Good night!

Kolababe:
hmm

SEE HER REMAINING PANTLESS PHOTOS HERE» http://www.newseveryhour.com/2016/06/top-video-vixen-precious-john-nneka.html

For what na? You wicked o. Dem dey take her pants or even her pantlessness collect money for bank?

I like this idea. How can I check the stuff out? I mean where are those ebooks hanging, can I see 'em?

SmellingAnus:
I just pity her sha...

Pity her for what? If the case nor close with short period, com touch my nose with your finger.

Addicted2Women:
Let's place a bet.
This lady will be found in the next few days and they won't bother to tell us where she resurfaced from.


Girls can go anywhere,even travel to a neighboring country just to have sex

Did you just put such a comment on a sensitive matter like this? That woman in the pic is a mother for God's sake!