I’m actually rolling on the floor laughing. I am having a swell time.

I have been married to my hubby for 8 years and we are blessed with 4 boys which I had vaginally. After my last boy, my marriage went from bad to worse, as in, getting my hubby’s attention over the years has been very difficult. To have sex with him is even on ‘appointment’ basis. The rate at which my marriage was going, I knew that if I didn’t do something about it, it would move from worse to worst.

I sought the advice of one of my very close friends and she told me what to do. As funny as this sounds, it was working very well and I don’t want what I am doing to end.

I got a new phone and sim card, then opened new accounts on all the social media, putting all my best body parts as the display/profile picture, especially on facebook, whatsapp and bbm. I then sent a friend request to my husband. The silly man did not waste any time in accepting my requests. At first, he played hard to get but I still relented. Because my identity is not revealed to him, I went back to being the way I used to be with him that made him fall in love with me. I flirted with him badly, and he keeps falling more and more.

Read the full story at http://woman.ng/2015/02/my-husband-is-my-boyfriend-on-facebook-whatsapp-bbm-and-he-does-not-know-it/

Still not sure about GMB, but one thing is clearer from this election season, he isn't that sword wielding fundamentalist many of us have bought into from years of lies by the PDP. GEJ has disapointed me. I was one of his biggest supporters till mid last year, but No MORE!

A woman in Pennsylvania received the termination letter above after telling her boss, Dr Visnich about her cancer diagnosis.

Carol Jumper worked at the company for 12 years before she was diagnosed with cancer in the pancreas, liver and ovaries.

Her boss’ lawyer has however explained that the meaning of the letter has been misconstrued, and that it was simply a “humanitarian” gesture to allow Jumper to collect unemployment benefit. He said the letter was written, “with the understanding that when she is feeling better, she can come back to work.”

Her friend posted the letter online and it has since gone viral. Thankfully, she has been receiving support from people to help her with her treatment and community members have organised a number of fundraisers on her behalf.

Below is the full content of the letter;

“You are currently engaged in a battle against cancer that will be demanding physically, mentally, and emotionally,” reads the letter to Carol Jumper, 51, of Hopewell Township. “You will not be able to function in my office at the level required while battling for your life. Because of this, I am laying you off without pay as of August 11, 2014. Your last paycheck will be mailed to you this Friday, 8/15/14. Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you fight this horrible disease. Thanks for your time at Visnich Oral Surgery. I hope your battle is swift, smooth, and successful!”

Copied from Femme Lounge http://femmelounge.ng/not-fair-woman-fired-after-telling-her-boss-she-has-cancer/

Femme Lounge is looking for two Female Editorial Assistants (paid role) to join our team in Lagos.

Responsibilities;
Write articles
Develop and source for articles and daily content for FL
Conduct interviews for feature articles
Manage volunteers
Develop ideas for the promotion of features on social media and assist in managing the social media accounts
Represent FL at relevant events
Perform other relevant editorial and administrative duties as assigned

Key Skills Required:
Good general and current affairs knowledge
Excellent oral and written communication skills
Must be familiar with social media platforms
Must have a working Knowledge of Microsoft Office suite

How to apply
To apply send these to info@femmelounge.org;
1. A write-up not more than 500 words on the topic: WHY I’M SUITABLE FOR THE EDITORIAL ASSISTANT ROLE.
2. A Curriculum Vitae/Resume
3. Links to articles you have written/attach sample articles as a word document.


Notes
Please note that your application will not be considered if you don’t follow the application guideline above.
Only short-listed candidates will be contacted.
Applicants must be presently based in Lagos and be available to start immediately.
The deadline for application is Friday, 12th September 2014

To know more about Femme Lounge, please visit www.femmelounge.ng

Nigeria is battling the outbreak of Ebola — a terrifying disease that causes its victims to bleed to death from the inside out. Ebola has no cure, so it is highly important to take all measures to prevent contracting the disease, one of which is to avoid the consumption and preparation of meat from monkeys, fruit bats, and other forest animals.

Avoiding bushmeat is however having some serious effect on the livelihood of some women selling bushmeat, watch here - http://femmelounge.ng/how-the-ebola-outbreak-affects-female-bushmeat-sellers/

kemiola89: What happened to Kemi? Can we get the full gist??

See full gist here - http://femmelounge.ng/her-father-is-bisexual-she-knows-but-her-mother-doesnt/

What will I do if I find myself in Kemi’s situation? I really don’t know, probably put my dad under pressure to tell his wife, because I really think the mother should know. But hey, that’s just me, it will be nice to know what you all think.

http://femmelounge.ng/her-father-is-bisexual-she-knows-but-her-mother-doesnt/

Read this on Femme lounge - "Is It Rude To Give Your Broke Friend Used Clothes She Didn’t Ask For?" I like how some of the four women responded to this sensitive issues.

http://femmelounge.ng/is-it-rude-to-give-your-broke-friend-used-clothes-she-didnt-ask-for/

There is a lot of pull her down syndrome in our society, we are so quick to judge and criticize other people’s successes. How do celebrities who are constantly in the spotlight handle this?

In an interview with City People, Mercy Johnson shares how she handles destructive criticisms, here are three quotes we love from her interview;

1. "People will keep criticising when they want exactly what you have. They hate and they talk, but they want what you have. They crave to have what you have. So when they talk, the only way to shut them up is to even do better and up your game."

2. "We are in an environment where people who have boils all over their faces will look at me that has just 1 pimple on my cheek and try to tell me what cream to use. People hide in the shadow and say stuff."

3. "Nobody can make me go back now. So it’s like hate all you want, I am moving. So you are just going to stay there and keep talking and I am ahead of you."

Copied from http://femmelounge.ng/

You are a first class didinrin.

If children feel embarrassed when they wet their beds, imagine what it is like for an adult who does. Yet there are adults who experts say probably number in the millions, who are bed-wetters. Because of their problem, they often live in constant fear of embarrassment, afraid to share their beds and rooms with loved ones and guests.

For those adults, bedtime is not as simple as ABC; it is in fact another time of dread and a reminder of a problem most people have outgrown at an earlier age.

For 30 year old Ogechi, who suddenly started bed wetting as a teenager, it has been a devasting nightmare, she wakes up each morning hoping to see dryness and words can’t express how what she experiences affects her social and emotional life.

She says, “I constantly think that I am a “blemished piece” because I have often been rejected and mocked by people around me. It’s been hard to keep a relationship with a guy, who wants to go to bed with a bed wetter? I have never known what it means to be self confident; it affects my self esteem and all areas of my life.

I have visited so many doctors, even a psychiatric and psychologist; they have all suggested different reasons that could be responsible for the condition. Ranging from emotional trauma I faced as a child, to my deep sleep pattern, and environmental allergies. And someone actually had the guts to suggest that I wet my bed because I was lazy to go to the toilet at night!

There has been lots of improvement over the years but I still look forward to when I will never have to worry about waking up wet anymore”.

There are several medications and medical conditions which can cause adult bed wetting. Fortunately, there are aids and treatments that can minimize the incidence and impact of bed wetting in adults.

Copied from http://femmelounge.ng/

The other day, I went to see a Shrink – yes, a Shrink – to find out my mental health status.

The word ‘Shrink’ is not one to feature ever so often in conversations around here. There is an unspoken rule of thumb that forbids you from making serious references to such. To consider the possibility of visiting a shrink is a taboo in itself. You would be deemed as one on expired drugs or one on the peripheral of paranormal relations with the ‘spirit world’ if you dare utter to your family or friends a genuine need to see one; yet, this is a fantastic notion as it concerns our mental well-being.

Facing the world each waking morning can be a challenge; we never could tell the sort of experiences lined ahead of us. This makes us somewhat left without the power to choose the nature of the life experiences we eventually go through each day. We may be able to influence the pattern of some of our experiences based on the kind of lifestyle we adopt, however, what constitute the fibres of those experiences are totally out of our control. Now, how these experiences eventually affect us are largely dependent on our mental health condition but more importantly, how they impact our mental state is worthy of concern.

Our threshold for absorbing the aftermaths of negative experiences differ from one person to another. These aftermaths often include shock, the feeling of disappointment, mistrust, bitterness, resentment, doubt, paranoia, self-doubt and nonchalance to name a few. The fact that these conditions are not physical even makes it scarier and worrisome. Meanwhile, a major chunk of our behavioural patterns are directly linked and mostly in sync with these aftermaths. Recovery from these kind of aftermaths often requires the services of a shrink whom a lot of us around here would never want to be associated with. The apparent reason being stigmatization fueled by ignorance and myopia. For this reason, many opt for a visit to some cleric who may actually need the services of a shrink in his life too… just saying.

Everyone needs psychiatric evaluation. The regularity of this routine would vary from one person to the next, exaggerating the obvious! Now, don’t lie, someone just crossed your mind! Yes, someone just did and I can bet some loose change on that. *side eye* You actually just looked across your work table, scanning the open-plan office you work in for that colleague of yours that naturally exudes psychotic tendencies. Hmm, but has it also occurred to you that your supposedly sane-looking, ever comporting, unassumingly harmless work associate, friend or family member could actually be mentally disturbed?

Being the devil’s advocate, It is almost second nature for a lot of us to want to play shrink on other people. We always believe to know the reason Jack and Jill need to get their heads examined but in the real sense, the joke is on you. You need to get your head examined and I am dead serious about that. Make it top priority to find yourself a medically qualified Shrink to unburden that mental baggage you’ve carried around for eons. It may help you bring closure to that self-doubt you are struggling with, come to terms and make peace with your schizophrenic nature. Thank me later.

As promised earlier, here is what I came back with from my visit to the shrink’s. He identified through his diagnosis some tendencies that may lead to certain excesses based on his prognosis if further occurrences with unscrupulous alliances are not checked. Phew! Now, I feel alright though I left my prescriptions at the shrink’s. I think my shrink needs to see a shrink also!

Copied from http://femmelounge.ng/

Getting pregnant should be pretty easy. Things being equal, if there are no fertility issues; all you need are a fertile uterus, healthy sperm and the perfect timing. That was how it was for me. I pretty much scaled through the whole process, even though it took about two months for us to finally get there. Before then, I made sure I was taking foods high in progesterone to ensure that I was fertile enough. When I finally missed my period and had a test to confirm I was pregnant, I felt proud of myself, glad that it wasn’t one of those accidental discharge incidences.

During the course of my pregnancy, I did everything I could to guarantee that I was healthy and my baby was in good form. I ate right, never missed a day of my vitamins, never missed a doctor’s appointment, took healthy walks with my husband on most evenings and generally surrounded myself with happiness. I felt I was in good place and looked forward to the birth of my baby.

The day came without much drama and after 18 hours of labor, my daughter finally came into the world. Cue in the smiles, the tears that sting your eyes at the first sight of your little one whom you’ve carried for nine months and the inexplicable joy that comes with the moment. That was how it was all supposed to be in that hospital room but I had none of that when my baby was pulled out of me and the first sight that hit my eyes was this excess skin on the base of her spine and gangly legs that wouldn’t kick at all. Prior to this, like every mother, I had visualized this moment and what I saw was a perfect, little baby. Yet reality hit me like a cannon ball when I had to look at her and hear the doctor tell me that she had a congenital disease called Spina Bifida. He said the bones of her spine (vertebrae) didn’t form properly at the lower part of her spinal cord. The worst part was that she was having a severe case of spina bifida which would need surgery and could lead to other complications like her not being able to walk and having no control of her bowel movements.

“How did I miss this?” I asked myself. “How did the four scans I had during pregnancy miss this? How didn’t I get it right after all I tried?”

Unfortunately those were questions that I haven’t gotten answers to even today. My husband and I went through a very difficult time after that, spending three months at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital, watching our baby go through two surgeries, a case of hydrocephalus and nameless medical procedures. In the end, she fought through all the obstacles, escaped death that constantly loomed in her face and today, she is a healthy little three year old. Although she can now stand and move her legs, she is yet to walk and we’re still in the process of potty-training her, ignoring what the doctors have told us about her not being able to control her bowel movements. We believe she’ll get there no matter how long it takes.

But here’s the question people often ask me and what I asked myself for a long time until I got tired.

“What caused it?”

At the hospital I went through thorough questioning from the doctors? Did I smoke, take alcohol, take un-prescribed drugs, drink herbal mixture while pregnant? Does anyone in my family have the same disease? Did I try to abort the pregnancy at some point? Did I miss my antenatal appointments?

My answer to all of that was an emphatic ‘no’.

So then, how did it happen?

It still remains a mystery, one that I have given up trying to solve. I have accepted that it is what it is and I continue to rely on God to take us through as a family.

But here’s what I want to share today, what the doctors told me, what I researched extensively and what every sexually active woman should know. Spina Bifida could have been avoided if I had taken Folic Acid at the right time. And what is the right time, according to the experts? 3 to 6 months before pregnancy.

Why folic acid?

Folic acid is vitamin B and your body cells need it for growth and development. Taking it before and during early pregnancy reduces your baby’s risk for birth defects of the brain and spinal cord. It helps reduce the number of pregnancies affected by what is called NTDs (Neural Tube Defects) by up to 70 percent. Folic acid also helps prevent heart defects, and cleft lip and palate in babies.

Furthermore, all women are advised to take folic acid even if they are not trying to get pregnant. And because most pregnancies are unplanned, it is necessary that women have a healthy reproductive system before the baby comes. The increasing cases of NTDs can be reduced if women try this simple but preventive method.

I know my story will help someone out there. This was the type of information I needed before I got pregnant and I am certain it will help you as well or someone you know.

Copied from http://femmelounge.ng/

One week ago, Nigerian weightlifter Chika Amalaha was being celebrated for winning the gold medal in the women’s 53 kg weight class at the 2014 Commonwealth Games at Glasgow.

The 17 year old was celebrated for setting a new Games records in 53kg weight category, but the celebration did not last for long. She was suspended from the games on Tuesday, July 29 for testing positive to drugs, traces of diuretics and masking agents were found in her sample A. Her B sample was sent for testing and it also came out positive to substances on the prohibited lists.

The Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF) had a meeting with Amalaha on Friday, August 1, 2014, and she was subsequently stripped of her gold medal.

Copied from http://femmelounge.ng/

It almost election time in Osun state, and like Fayose, I wonder why any progress loving Nigerian will want Omisore as governor of any state.

I like The 100 REASONS TO BELIEVE OGBENI project. http://hundredreasonsogbeni.com/ This is one of my favourite reasons.

16. HE HAS RE-INTRODUCED US TO OURSELVES

Globalisation is useful in bringing the best from around the world to our consciousness, but its effect is pernicious in making us forget the best about ourselves, our language, folklore, history, identity and culture.
Who, what, from where and why are we different? The coming of Ogbeni Aregbesola has brought a fresh appreciation of our identity: we are Omoluabis, the progeny of Oduduwa, and we owe no one an apology. Confident, proud and content in who we are, we are well poised to take our position in the scheme of things nationally and globally. In many ways including, and not limited to our state’s logo, flag, emblem and anthem, Aregbesola has challenged us to a better appreciation of our primary identity. Why? We need to be secure in who we are before we can be truly united in our national diversity!

Exercising does not have to be a chore you dread so much, you can have fun while at it.
Dancing is one of the ways to keep fit and have fun.

You can try out this Dorobucci Dance Work-out by AfriFitness: - http://femmelounge.ng/hate-to-exercise-try-this-fun-dorobucci-dance-workout/

I am a single mum of two who just moved into a one bed apartment after months of searching for affordable apartment in Lagos.

The first night we moved there, I was so tired, I slept like a baby. The next morning my six year old daughter told me she heard someone crying from the next flat during the night, I didn’t pay much attention to her.

The next evening, I was in the sitting room trying to unpack, and my two daughters where playing in the room, then they ran to the me and said the person is crying again, I went to the room and what I heard was shocking.

It was my landlord having sex with a woman and they were both making loud noises and uttering unprintable things to each other. Their window was opened and their light was on too. I rushed my daughters out of the room.

For one week after I didn’t hear anything again, until it started again. Morning, afternoon, night, midnight, this man brings girls home to have sex anytime of the day! He is a man in his fifties but doesn’t live with his wife or children.

My room’s window and his room’s window are almost opposite each other because the compound is very tight.

I talked to the two other occupants, who also hear the noise although not as much as I do, because their apartments are not so close to the landlord’s. They said it is common knowledge in the area and they have stopped talking to him about it and were just waiting for their rent to expire so they can move out.

I summoned courage and still went on to talk to him about it; one of the other occupants followed me. To my shock, he said if I can’t deal with it I should move out and forfeit my money. I just moved in and paid for two years!

The other occupants told me that the people living in my apartment before I came in, moved out because of his sexual noises before their rent expired!

Right now, I am sleeping in the sitting room with my daughters to keep them away from the noises, even during the day; I don’t allow them play by themselves alone in the room because the landlord can start his thing anytime. I am so angry but helpless, how do someone handle this kind of thing?

Copied From http://femmelounge.ng

Yesterday, when I took my kids out for some pizza and ice-cream, I bumped into a friend’s husband. He was having a meal (not just any meal, a dish) all by himself and I asked him why he was ‘enjoying’ all by himself! He replied that he gives himself a treat once in a while. And I told him how I thought that was selfish of him considering the fact he was married. I asked if he ever thought of including his wife once in a while in this his ‘enjoyment’. And he said No. In all my many years of marriage, I have never actually thought of taking myself out until I noticed my very own ‘oga’ didn’t have issues giving himself a treat. And so I said to myself, “Why should I now be the one to slack?”

The conversation did not end there O! After I told him that his behaviour was very selfish and unromantic, he started ‘vexing’ and ‘vomiting’ that I sounded just like his wife! I said you see, so it’s not like I am just opening my mouth to talk. I asked him if he had ventured inviting his wife for this his ‘enjoyment’ and he said if he had asked her, she would have said she was busy! “Did you ask?” is the issue here…but No! I then asked him when last he did something romantic for his dear wife and that was when my friend’s husband decided to give me an ‘inaugural lecture on the difference between ROMANCE and AFFECTION!

Listen up wives, but in this case, look up and read well…Nigerian women do not need romance but affection. Women should stop asking for romance like teenagers, that what we really need is affection. Romance does not mean love but affection portrays it. That we should stop asking for ‘things’ that will not be beneficial to us and the rest of the family!I then asked him to differentiate between romance and affection.

This is what he had to say…Romance is just a temporary thing and sometimes a one-off excitement that cannot relieve his wife of stress. But in affection, he is able to cater to the needs of his wife, domestically and otherwise. Expressions of affection and not romance, are loving actions. The more of it, the better. He said he would rather offer a helping hand in domestic crisis when she calls for assistance, praise her when he feels she is doing well in her ‘department’ and keep her company if need be but as for showing romance…it’s a “No No!” Only teenagers do that!*Can you imagine?!*

I don’t see anything wrong in having both AFFECTION AND ROMANCE in the marriage. Having a spark once in a while is not a bad thing and being at my beck and call…doubly fantastic!

After all said and done, my dear friend’s husband got up and said he was off to watch a movie…all by himself! And in my bewildered state, I replied, “I hope you don’t enjoy the movie!”

Copied From - http://femmelounge.ng/

This is a no-holds-barred discourse for young women, waiting for the man of their dreams.

1) Define yourself; determine what you will or will not take, what standards and values you will not compromise on. I can tell a whole lot what you think about yourself by the kind of man you choose to be with. A girl who has low self confidence will give herself to any man at a huge discount. You must stand up for yourself, appreciate your strengths, downplay your weakness and decide the level of life you want to play at.

2) Don’t be with someone at any level lower than where you are at, socially, educationally or economically except you are convinced of his potentials and you are sure without a doubt that he is bigger than the place where he currently is.

3) He must bring more to the table than you do; he mustn’t be dependent on you in any way. He must have a place to stay, drive his own car and pay his own bills, the day you start to prop him up that day you have in your hands a liability. Don’t get me wrong here he doesn’t have to own a house or drive a car, however he shouldn’t be living in your apartment and driving the car you bought while you use public transport. After you are married, of course he should be able to use your things, perhaps life deals him a hard blow and he needs time to recuperate, that’s fine. But before the marriage, before you say I do, make sure he is not using you as a crutch.

4) He must buy you gifts; this is a sure sign that he is seriously with you. Do not take the lack of money as an excuse. The thought of giving you a gift no matter how inexpensive it is, is what is most important. He must get you a gift on your birthday at least. Note that if he forgot your birthday it’s not a crime, some people are bad with dates so that’s fine. He can make it a belated birthday gift.

5) You must be proud to show him off to your family and friends, he could be short and fat and ugly but if you love him, you will be fine with his looks.

6) Don’t manage him ever; if you don’t really know if you love him and are just cordial to him, you are probably with him because you feel you are getting old. Well wine gets finer with age so who cares, (flips weave). It’s better to be 40 and have peace than be 30 and unhappy with broken ribs.

7) Let him be the one to impress you not the other way round; before you are married to him, you shouldn’t be the one trying to impress him, you are the queen, the princess, it is on you that the choice ultimately rests. Now I am not saying that you should be high handed and rude. I am just saying be sure you are not doing for him, what he is supposed to do for you.

8. ) The people that matter most in your life should at least be comfortable with him, your parents and siblings and close friends.

9) Remember that he will not change the story of the princess kissing a frog and turning him into a prince is a fairytale. If he beats you, gets drunk, flirts around, is irresponsible before you get married, he will be exactly the same man after the marriage.

10) There are good men around; don’t think the good men have finished and stick to one who treats you badly. If he is treating you the way you do not want to be treated, don’t for once think that that is the way all men are. Be sure that he doesn’t have issues to deal with. If he was molested as a child, or came from a background of domestic violence the truth is that he will have issues to deal with. Be sure that you don’t want to live with the consequence of another person’s actions because you are special and you deserve the best.

So why settle for less…?

Copied from - http://femmelounge.ng/

tomiobj: Bitter-Kola has been internationally verified to cure Ebola. Anyone who suspects they are in danger of catching it is advised to consume it. It is like food and there is no overdose. Simply peel and chew!

Don't be fooled. Prevention is still the best approach. This Pictorial Guide on How NOT To Catch Ebola will help you an your family - http://femmelounge.ng/how-not-to-catch-ebola-a-pictorial-guide/