₦airaland Forum

My MIL is an angel, I don't do anything when she is around other than wash my own panties. In fact , any time the baby cry (at midnight), she is the one that tend to her . All I do is to look good and breastfeed the baby.
My she live long for me and the family.

As for your MIL , I guess there is something wrong some where for her to go to the extent of even hissing at her grandchild cry. You need to discuss with your husband in a calm manner. I know since he is Yoruba he might insist on his mum coming after the birth of your child but at least if he talk to her, she should be helpful This time around.

I wish you all the best .

onegig:
Would you have come here to say the same thing if it turned out the other way round?

Lets reverse the role and see if you would have been happy to learn after marriage and trying everything possible to conceive that your husband is impotent and he knew about this even before marrying you.

Isn't that interesting? Several inconsistent lies is enough to make me never to trust you not to talk of something that big.

Most men can take such honesty when the cause was through a natural cause like a disease she had while young, an honest mistake due to youthful exuberance or something forgivable.

What we can't take is someone telling me they made a mistake and aborted 2,3,4,5,6 times to the point of damaging their wombs and still want me to be believe such was an honest mistake and accept them. Tufiakwa.

Ma'am you knew what you were doing and I won't be interested in joining such journey of repaying for your misdeeds.

I don't remember writing in my post that I lived a wayward life, neither did I mention having multiple abortion so please if you don't have something better to say, stay off my case and simply direct your response to the OP rather than analysing my comment.

My simply advice is don't tell the guy. Most men are not strong enough to handle such information. Most time , even the man that put a girl into such situation end up leaving the her.

I know this because I experience this first hand. Glory be to God, today am a mother of 2 beautiful girls

I didn't tell my hubby because that was my past, I only did all that needed to be done both medically and spiritually. I even got pregnant before my marriage.

ECOTERRORS:
I'm in Ogudu and I've got first hand info of it

Problem started when Baba Osinowo aka Pepper who is the APC candidate in the HOA was about to be declared winner with a lot of irregularities and ballot snatching reported.
The thugs of Moyosore Ogunlewe of PDP now rejected the result because a lot of ballot box are still missin/

I don't know where you get your information from ooooooo, i reside in Ogudu and there was no report of ballot box snatching.

Anyway, what i heard is that PDP boys felt cheated and started making trouble.

I must state categorically that am really disappointed in Moyosore Ogunlewe. Am a stunt supporter of APC but for the very first time, I voted for PDP because i though since he is educated, he would make a difference. I guess Nigeria politics is really dirty.

The write-up is quite nice and educative. I never had any form of confrontation with my MIL, am not a saint neither is she but i try as much as possible to control my nerves any time i get offended by her.

There are times when she really push me but i just remind myself that my mum can do worse things to me. I think the major problem in our society is that we tend to take advice from people who have no business giving it, and we have equally grown to being impatient.

Least i forget, my MIL was present when i gave birth to my 2 children (in fact, she was in the labour room with me when i delivered my second baby). People in the hospital even though she is mother.

I wonder why you are such a lousy loser, why not accept the fact that APC has won then move on.

I would advise you next time when you want to write a story don't let it be one sided.

APC!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHANGE! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ciwi:
Can u guys stop giving wrong advice?

Did the Op say that fiancee doesn't like th mother ni?

OP is ur mom ill or does she have any special needs??
Does ur fiancee need to be visiting her physically?

Can't she talk to her via phone?

As long as ur fiancee doesn't disrespect ur mom,I see no reason for false alarm

After all that the guy has done for her, there us nothing wrong in paying the would-be MIL a visit once in a while.

Just to think of it, would you be happy if such a thing happen to you in your old age?

Kindly pardon my being inquisitive, but why are you sponsoring her education?

Anyway, back to the issue at hand, all the things you mentioned that you did for her is way too much and i would advice you to cut down on it, at least until you 2 are married.

FYI, i doubt your fiancée would change after wedding, in fact i believe she would definitely have issues with your mother.

Why not take time and read some of the post on family section, just the other day a man wrote about his mother and wife fighting over mere picture.

Being an only child, whoever you decide to marry must be ready to accept the fact that there will come a time that your mum would have to live with you due to old age.

So whoever you decide to marry must accept your mother and love her like her very own mother. I know it is not easy but it is possible because am a living testimony. Just choose wisely.

I first saw the dress on LIB this morning and the colour is white and gold, I was even surprised at the article that I decided to show a colleague, lo and behold, he said the colour is blue. Up till now I still see the dress in colour white and gold.

I actually wonder where people are getting " blue and black" .

I wouldn't advice that you threaten her with divorce like someone said, what you need is a break from her.

It can really be difficult because from your post I realise you have children, but you need to set things straight in your marriage.

Without informing her, just pack your bags and leave the house (in case she doesn't know what went wrong, pour out you heart in a letter and drop it where she would find it).

Finally, don't answer her calls or text messages for 2 days then on the 3rd day after so much apologies from her, you can answer her call and give her your new set of rules.

I wish you all the best.

I wonder what some people has turn marriage into. Am a Yoruba lady and I know aa matter of fact that such list which you mentioned is not synonymous with any part of Yoruba land.

Your in-laws are really shameless to be able to give you and your brother such outrageous trad list.

I would advise your brother to leave such a lady and move ahead with his life because if he has such inappropriate in-laws, that mean something is also wrong with the bride.

In all I wish you and your brother all the best.

@ OP, you are quite lucky for dumping your frenemy before it's too late (just after 3 years).

I dumped mine after 7 years and she almost ruin my wedding , caused a lot of conflict between my immediate family and I, she also gossip about me.

This is a person I help alot but financially and emotionally and never gossip about her.

I thank God that we are no longer friends because I was drained emotionally anytime she start to display her foolishness.

With such friends, you no longer need enemy.

If you truly love her, her snoring should not disturb you that much.
My husband snor like it's going out of fashion but I've learned to live with him snoring habit ( after all I signed "for better for worse".)

@OP, I would not judge your friend because everybody has a past (including me), but where I fault your friend is that when she knew all she did iin the past, before marrying her hubby, she should have gone for medical check-up.

Anyway, the deed has been done, i would only advice her to move on with her life and stop crying over spilled milk.

@OP, it depends on the school and the location the school is. But I know there are very good schools in Nigeria (although very expensive) that can teach you child even with is learning disability, as long as you explain to them first hand.

Equally don't be sceard of asking questions in your search for good school (because not all expensive schools are up to the task, so don't be fool with names or popularity).

I wish you all the best.

First and formost, I thank God for the type of MIL he gave me, she doesn't ask me for such things neither does she stress me in anyway. In fact when ever she is around, I'm sure to get enough rest.

As for your MIL, I would advice you not to give her the money, be it borrow or dash. The point is that if you give in to her demands, she would come and ask you for a larger amount ( for your information, that is the typical behaviour of all human being).

Inform your hubby that you are broke and also act the part, I'm sure he would be the one who would tell his mother to stop disturbing you.

I wish you all the best in handling the issue.

@OP, from what you wrote and explained, 2 bedroom flat is too expensive for you now, why don't you explain to your Uncle and let him reason with you, just try and rent a mini flat in a decent area.

As per your uncle's wife, it won't kill you to help her wash her cloth (although I'm sure I can't do such a thing), it's all just for a while at least till they move to their own house.

I wish you all the best!!!!!

iterator25: hmm

Your are really something else, you actually quoted the whole article just to write "hmm", what on earth is wrong with you.

@OP, lovely article, and It is quite enlighten.

@OP, Yellowpawpaw said my mind on this issue, you come across as desprate and needy. Why don't you sit back and just go through the issue in your head step by step, I'm sure you will see what we all are talking about.

There is more to life than marriage, hope you know that if you allow your hubby (to be) and in-laws to treat you liike rubbish now, it would get worse once you are married.

I think you guys need counselling and you really need to postpone the marriage. I know you would tell me I'm not in your shoes that is why I'm talking like this, for your information I once called off my wedding 4 months to it. And now I'm happily married to the same man. I'm more respected and even appreciated.

I wish you all the best.

My advice to you is quite simple and straight forward, you need to take a stand, I personally don't buy into the idea of you opening a secret account, I would rather prefer you to tell you husband right to his face that you will no longer tolerate his spending spree.

Also collect all your ATM cards from him and just give him little money (that is if he ask for it) because I want to believe he should have some money left with him out of all the millions of naire a blew up.

I don't want to go into my own presonal exprience here, but I know once you do all these, it would hurt a lot at the beiginning because from your write-up you really love him, he would shout at you ( it might even escalate to him abusing you), he would definitly fight back to gain control over your money once more, he might also sweet talk you, just stand your ground and don't give in to him.

Once again, don't indulge him any more, you need to think of yourself and also of your baby. Having a baby is quite expensive and you need to always have enough money in case of emergency.

I wish you all the best.

Well! Well!! Well!!! As much as I try to pity you, I just can't because I don't understand how a full grown man will let a woman make a fool of him.
My only advise to you is to runnnnn!!!!!!!!!! As fast and far as your legs can carry you. As for the baby, you can always come back when the baby has grown for a partenity test.

OP, the situation between your wife and family is not serious enough for you to start thinking of parting ways with her, at least there are some things you saw in her that made you marry her.

Although, if what you wrote is correct, you need to have a heart to heart discussion with her. Since she see them just once in a while, she should just try and be nice (cordial) with them, I believe nobody can hurt here over the phone, she should answer their calls.

If she remain adamant, I will suggest you extend the same gesture to her family. I'm sure after that, she would reconsider her attitude towards your family.

I wish you all the best in resolving the issue.

31-45

Wow,I really can't wrap my head around the fact that u waited for 6years before he propose,nawa ooooo.Congrate,i wish you all the best.

I'm willing to pay #500k for the car, can the amount fly it?

I'm intersted in the ride, can #500k fly it?? Serious buyer.

The notebook (my favourite), Oleku and the loved one (got me crying).

Mine happened like 10 years ago, i alighted from a bus at Jibowu b/stop (i.e before Yaba, Lagos) all of a sudden someone gave me a hot slap from behinde, when i turned around to confront /retaliate , i got the greatest surprise of my life. I was slap by a mad man. I just cross the road and went on my way before people start pointing at me.

@ Op i will advice you to go for cerelac, i gave my baby imported cerelac (made in Spain) till she clock 2 year old and it really showed on her. Although i introduced semi-soild/ soild food to her at 10 month (she is also an heavy eater).
You can also try cow & gate, purity, blende and oat meal (they are all good cereal for a baby).
I wish you all the best in making a decision.

I make it a point of duty to always read user's manual, no matter how bulky it may be.

This year has been my best year so far , i really thank God because i was able to achieve all my goals (even goals i never knew i had).

God has really been wonderful to me and i'm now happier than ever.

@ Op, i understand you and that is because i'm equally expriencing the same thing in my marriage. I'm married to the 1st child (son) of seven children and their parent are not financially stable.
To be candid it is not funny at all and that is because in my family we don't depend on the other for financial assistant (we are all financially ok).with time, you will adjust to the situation and learn to give what you can.

Finally, to all of you saying a partner's position in the family doesn't matter, you must be the biggest joker of the year. Your partner's position in the family matters alot because it will determine your financial strength.