₦airaland Forum

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Toby122:
Hello, Nairalanders, I am 27 years of age and just passed out from service October last year, with a 2.1 degree cert in Geo/Envi Mgt.

My PPA retained me with a pay of 20k just this January they added 5k to my salary.

On Friday I got a call from my pastor about a security job in first bank. To cut the long story short, I was given an appointment with a salary of 40k, and now I am so confused. I have plans to further my education by September this year and am not really comfortable with leaving my current job...

Pls I want your take on this....

durubennie:
I Am Just Depressed Right Now. I Don't Know What To Do

Someone just withdrew more than 100,000 from my account.. I haven't misplaced my atm or given anyone before..
I called my bank and they said they will investigate.
And I am supposed to pay for my final clearance this week.

Please someone should move this to the front page

Towerty:
Good day NL fam. I need your help to get my fashion business back.

I started this business about 4 years ago sewing for clients and running a fashion school which had been good. I had a fairly large number of clients which takes care of the business expenses and meeting up with some other minor demands.

We needed space and organisation which prompted me to move into a 2 bedroom apartment of which the difference in rent is small. Most of our clients , over 95% came from online ads and referrals.

As such we had no fear that it will be business as usual since we do not operate with passers by patronising Us.

Since we moved into our new place in same location., since January, business has been dead speaking on a soft term.
Bro sincerely sorry for your pains now, i will advice you do a swot analysis on your current problem, check out for your competitors, it possible your customers have been snatched by your competitors with quality service, reduced time and low pricing.



We run adverts even better than before , every month is a more sad story. No patronage at all. The school is practically on hold right now as no one is enrolling for our programs.

We have been keeping hope alive but it seems not worthwhile. In 3 months to come , we hope to renew our rent. And as we speak , not even a tenth is available as savings.

Please help me with suggestions on how to revive this business. Thank you.

P.s: Expenses did not increase at all. We didn't employ new staff.

Mods, pls push this to front page to get the much needed responses. Thanks

Nbote:
Lolzzz... Where are those unreasonable Ronaldo fanboys... I have always maintained it dat Ronaldo is motivated by Messi becos all he strives to do and all his efforts are to win more trophies and score more goals than Messi to outdo him...

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

xammax:
So am in level 2 going to level 3 and i just saw my cgpa, it's 4.73 and the guy leading my dpartment has 4.84. My dream is to graduate as the best student in my department. So how do i overtake. Am studying accounting.

Oracle55:
Please i need your candid advice, i have been able to raise 800k and for now am left with two choices, am a graduate and the only son of my mom so i need a better life.

Pls i have an agent who will do for me a work visa for a security job in Dubai, salary 220k, i will pay a total of 800k for the visa and flight.

Please is it adviseable i travel or i use the money and rent a house here in nigeria. I have searched for job for over 3 years here in lagos all to no avail.

Please how is life in Dubai? What are your suggestions, should i go or stay.

Pls mods help me move to front page



bro , i want you to pray about this, the agent might be a scam, so it better you pray and fast about it for three days......i believe with 800k you can access turkey

hahn:
i believe you were not born when she starred in her first movie......cowwwwwwwwwwwww...

The god she made a movie about in the first place was introduced to her ancestors via slavery by Europeans.

At this point at least 90% of our existence is copied from them

Don't be arrogantly ignorant



I dey tell you.

Only Nigerians can applaud such mediocre and delusional script writing and acting

ainas247:
I no just understand anything here..

Dominate Google page one with your business see results in my profile

Confiman:
Please this might be a little lengthy but bear with me, everything here is needed to get the story out and ask my questions. Thank you.

This will go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and I'm deeply confused. But before I go on, I'd love a quick intro.

I just created this moniker to chronicle all of my confusions and to feel free asking for help without any of my friends here tracing them to me. I'm 22 and a serving Corp member. I'm a hustler and I can say I'm doing fairly well for a Corp member.

I am still a "virgin" iff that term can be loosely applied to someone who masturbates. I'm deeply disturbed by my masturbation, but that is not the purpose of this thread.

I recently met a girl - also a Corp member - whom I'm really, really fond of. However, I strongly believe that sex is for marriage (I'm a devoted Christian) and so I have always stayed away from it. With this girl tho, we get frisky a lot. I shared my first kiss with her, and we've since gotten more intimate than I'm usually comfortable with. Sadly, that doesn't help my desire to stop masturbation as I always do that after making out with her. When doing so, I imagine all we had done and it gets me off.

However, this is where it gets embarrassing. When making out with her she sometimes gives me a head. Despite all of her efforts tho (and she is sincerely really good), I can't get myself to remain aroused. No, my hands don't give me half the sensations I get from her mouth, but it still doesn't matter as I just can't remain aroused enough to get off as is the case when I'm by myself.

Today was the very worst as I kept shrinking rather than edging towards release. It angers her cos she believes I don't want her, or how else does she explain it? She feels if I wanted her as much as she wanted me that it would be different. I know my conscience pricks me while we're at it but I don't know if that is the cause. She says I think too much about it... but I can't help the thoughts. Now I'm torn.

I need to know just two things:
1. Is it my 'plenty thinking' that's hindering me when with her? I've already put away most of my inhibitions to get that far with her, but I can't seem to go further. And I don't really think I want to.
2. How can I tell her to take away the sexual edge of the relationship without coming across as offensive, and without confirming her belief that I don't want her?

P.S: Before you begin bashing the lady, note that she is also a virgin. Her vagina is still very much sealed. I doubted that at first, but I've seen it and... So I know. I don't want to lose her but I don't want to go so far either...

RETIREDMUMU:
This boy is 24 years old, he owns a mansions, he have a trillion of naira, he traveled round the globe, he fvck the best h0e in town.

I am 30 years i don't own a single bike

God where did i missing it

steph2sweet:
Pls matured minds in the house, i need an advice. I just got the shock of my life today. I got to know that the man I am planning to spend the rest of my life with has a child out of wedlock. I heard this from someone close to his family and I confronted him about it. He said he is afraid to loose me, that was why he didn't tell me about it. That he doesn't have anything to do with the lady that gave birth to the child for him, and that the lady is already married. I am just short of words.

OsamBrain:
Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts is recruiting Room Attendants.
http://nigeriajobscout.com/view/Room-Attendant-93188

Thank me later

Oweku:
I got this email to com for an interview... I want the house to help me out with it.. Thanks.

JForce:
Good day, I want you to understand the concept of Jforce, I started this race bearly less than a year ago and now I was just promoted to a captain. let me tell you the truth all you gat to do is just get orders and u are paid on commissions. this is the best job I have done with little stress. Nigerians are just practically lazy, the first thing is to identify your clients, at first when I started it was difficult but when I identified my clients it was easy for me. We have lots of eateries, companies etc that needs electronics and lots of other accessories. basically just 2 eateries and 2 companies help me ascertain my target. if u order just 2 42" television you have met your target as probation level and also to be promoted to the next level.
if you are interested and want to be in my team and you will be guided where and how to meet your desired orders and be promoted to the top.

Congrats to me as a Captain....

It has been a long race and am all the way to the top. IF I CAN, YOU CAN

TEXT ME ON ZERO EIGHT ZERO SEVEN TWO SEVEN THREE THREE EIGHT ONE ZERO.

THANKS