₦airaland Forum

[quote author=blue-sky link=topic=156239.msg2595618#msg2595618 date=1217620849]To me personally, if the man can't pay for the first date, or even show the initiative of paying, it shows he's tight.
Why is everyone picking on onyinye [/quote]Nwannem nwanyi, im cool.

HCH3COO:
you still can't rationalize your stance with good logic.
this is why it is always going to be a man's world.

well that is your opinion. i can't change yours, and you can't change mine.

HCH3COO:
But if he cooks you call him cheap, right?  Besides, i thought you said your dad wouldn't allow you to bring him to your home  

Him cheap ke? not at all. i wouldn't even allow that to cross my mind. And gini?, i don't live with my parents.

ibkaye:
@David
She said that she beleives that the man should always pay on the first date because 'that is how she was brought up in the south'

if you think it is silly, we that is your cup of tea, but for me it is what is suppose to happen. If you think my way is wrong, selfish, and what do you want me to do about it?

ibkaye:
Yeah, that's what I'm saying also, that you think the man should always pay on the first date, that's what i said, 'I am talking about the 'first' date, that's what i meant when I said 'at all times', as in 'at all times on the first date', i did not say that you said 'at all dates'  

that is just how it works.

HCH3COO:
you missed the question.  he asked why you're hell bent on having the man pay on the first date.

hell bent ke? that is just what i know. that is how i have always been treated. i meet someone, we go out , he pays. That is what i am use to and expect. And if i was the one who did the toasting, instead of me paying to go out, i will cook.

davidylan:
Lets be candid, little things are always a mirror to what a person will be like much later.

Wait, you claim you want a marriage to be 50:50 afterall you are equals. Why is a first date different? what makes a man the prime candidate to ALWAYS pay?

I didn't say he should always pay. just the first date.

ibkaye:
Eh? You said 'unless my husband is given some job opportunity', i'm talking about if he just lives in a different area, that's why i said 'So you would never leave the south? Even if your husband lived somewhere different and wanted you to relocate, not necessarily a job opportunity', there is a difference between relocating due to a job opportinity and relocating due to the fact that he just lives in a different area

I am talking about the 'first' date, that's what i meant when I said 'at all times', as in 'at all times on the first date'

I said the man should "ALWAYS" pay for the "FIRST DATE". never did i say  "AT ALL DATES" and that is just what i was taught to expect on the first date. and if my husband wanted to relocate to the north, midwest, or west, then i would have to do some serious soul searching and do what is best for the both of us not just me or him.

[quote author=blue-sky link=topic=156239.msg2595545#msg2595545 date=1217619702]the guy should pay for the first date, but the other dates should be whoever wants to. I don't agree with splitting the bill in half, it just doesnt make any sense to me. [/quote]

ibkaye:
Give Wahala Abi

JK ;DIf it isn't such a 'big deal', why the need for him to neccessarily pay?  

Fair enough, if that is what you would do if say you did the toasting, nothing to be paid for considering the fact that you will be eating at your own house

Anyways sha, I have tried o, you are still intent on making the guy pay at all times, none of my business

So you would never leave the south? Even if your husband lived somewhere different and wanted you to relocate, not necessarily a job opportunity

Well if you read the post clearly i said that i would make the sacrifice to leave the south. And i never said that i expected the guy to pay "at all times" if you go and read the post back, i said that sometimes the woman should treat her man out and pay.

StephenP:
And you won't call him cheap?

Me call him cheap for that?? Never!! in fact you have scored more points with that one act then taking me to the most expensive place in town.

davidylan:
I'm not calling you names . . . far be it from me.  
Lets be candid, terrible wives who give their husbands headache started from innocent, lovable little girls like you. You don't need to be a soothsayer to know what a woman is going to be like in a marriage situation. If you're already having problems with paying on a first date God help us when its time to pay for the mortgage.

Its one thing to be stubborn, its another to be an unreasonable pig-head (now that was NOT an insult).  

Got dang!! for me expecting him to pay on the first date it means that i won't pay the mortgage?? yal must be some false mind readers. It is  just the first freaking date. Chei!!! you make me sound like the woman from the Devil Wears Prada. jeez. And you are calling me a terrible wife that would give her husband headache??

StephenP:
So you'll be satisfied if he was one who was trying to get at you and on your first date, he invites you to his house.

Well stephen if you go back a few post ago, i said that i would rather have the first at my place where i prepared dinner, or his place where he prepared dinner. and if he needs help to cook i would be more than glad to help him prepare.

davidylan:
calling onyinye2 stubborn is to give her credit she doesnt deserve. She's more an unrealistic, mule of a woman.  
Anyone with her should be prepared for a lifetime of "strong independent, black womanhood", filled with screaming, slamming of doors, sometimes physical violence, threats and wilfull disobedience.  

Oka i admit im stubborn. oka im working on it. No one is perfect. But for you to start calling me names, no that just crosses the line. Oka now what is all this jive of this willfull disobedience, slamming doors, screaming, physical violence?

HCH3COO:
No be only stubborn, na spoilt.  If you get involved with a babe that wants her way in everything, you're in for a treacherous family life.

omo, you are calling me spoiled?? Me, onyinye?? my name means gift, which means im always willing to give.

ibkaye:
Jeez, that's why? So, are you telling me that forever and ever the south is where you will reside until you expire? Just because you were 'taught' that way does not always mean it is always right, it seems as though you are not thinking for yourself, it is important to be reasonable about these kinds of things, i mean, put yourself in the guys shoes, you are being invited to something, you may even have to cancel a few things in order to attend, you are there to enjoy yourself, you were invited, the girl is expecting to dish out the cheese just because you are the 'man', what an excuse, all because you are the 'man', naah, it does not make sense  

Yes i will forever reside here and i will never leave. unless my husband is given some job opportunity, then i will make the sacrifice. But what i want to know is why yal are making a big deal over gini? a 2 hour date? Let him pay. It is just the first date not the rest of our lives. I mean if i was did the toasting, i would invite over to my place instead of paying to take him out.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=156239.msg2595454#msg2595454 date=1217618289]u must be one very stuborn babe, kai.[/quote]I gets it from Nnam.

ibkaye:
You still have not answered my question, why is the guy more obliged to pay than the woman and if it is only a 'salad' then why can't you pay for yourself? It aint that expensive abi? Especially if you were the one who pursued him

Let me say like this as if i haven't said before. This is how i was brought up. I grew up with southern gentlemen who always pay on the first date. So being i grew up here my whole entire life, that is what i expect. For the man to pay on the first date.

ibkaye:
I'm not talking about 'submition', I was just using it as an example from yesterday, the main point here is equality and why you think that the man is more obliged to pay than the woman on the first date, especially when the woman is the one who pursued

Got dang it is just the first date. All im tryna do is get to know ya. The food aint the main point. I will probably just order a salad which is like one of the cheapest things on the menu. yal are reading too much into a maybe a 2 hour date.

dreeldee:
this onyinye sef, today equality tomorrow, male's responsibility

You know you loves me around.

ibkaye:
@Oyinye
Yesterday, you spoke of equality between the wife and the husband, that you will not find it ideal to submit to your husband etc Now that we are speaking of money, i don't know sha, equality has suddenly grown wings and flown out of the window, what happened to this 'equality' you spoke of? Why MUST the man pay, why is he more obliged than the woman 

Whoa, how did we go from first date to wife? got dang we is just starting the relationship now im suppose to submit.

davidylan:
first date shld be 50:50 . . . since both of you are still not sure if you want to be together for the long term.

mba

chiogo:
@Onyinye, u are too funny! So, if u chase a guy and ask him out, u then expect him to pay. Sorry, my dear, that's y u shoulda let him do the chasing. Initiating the first date shows that you're more interested in d date than d other person is. Solution - let d guy ask u out and don't be d one to do it.

As i said before, if i ask the guy out, i don't usually take him to no restraurant. I would prepare a meal myself. But if he asks me out, oh yeah you is paying.

Im just saying that on the first date, the man should pay. But if i was the one who did the "toasting" then i would probably invite you over and cook you dinner then take you out.

LASIEFAIRE:
i have said it that Onyinye watches too much hollywood romance movies with attachment.
Just make sure you bring money sha. If not, you go wash plate tire, clean table die.

Please dont allow my name to be in any of your post.

ibkaye:
Eh!? So if the girl is the one that did all the toasting, all the begging for the guy to come on a date with her, he is the one that should automatically pay!? My dear, you are paying too much attention to 'tradition', let's be resonable about this

Hey this is what i was brought with. The guy pays on the first date.

chiogo:
Whoever initiated the first date gotta pay, which in most cases is the guy.

Sorry i can't agree, the guy should always pay on the first date.

ibkaye:
[b]Yes, before I start dating someone, I will surely introduce him to my parents, [/b]we can just chillax  

VERY DANGEROUS!!! my father is VERY intimidating igbo man. He is a real village man. I will first go on the first date to check him out first and see if he handle Nnam.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=156239.msg2595208#msg2595208 date=1217615691]well said now, so what if u come to my house and i can't cook, will u be willing to cook, aand also, while you are cooking, hope, i will be allowed to be cooking something else within and in you.[/quote]Nwannem nwoke, if i were to come to your place and you can't cook, of course i would be more than willing to help. I love to cook. But if im helping, yeah you are helping to. You aint going to sit down and watch t.v. while im cooking. Mba. And don't even try to start cooking something else up because i will instantly turn the fire off. and afterwards, we both help clean up. not just me or just you.

dreeldee:
lmao so what do you call yourself for expecting same of a guy huh

I call myself Onyinye.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=156239.msg2595167#msg2595167 date=1217615100]You mean it is bad to buy something with coupon?
tell me u have never gone to a boxing day;s sales?
na wa for yu oh, the more you talk, the more you are making me think that u too like money oh.[/quote]Oka yal are getting me wrong. To me money is a necessary thing but it aint everything. Personally on the first date, i rather you come over to my house and eat what i prepared. Oka or go to your house and see how you cook. But if you are going to take me out for our first date, yes im going to expect you to pay, and im not going to take advantage of it. And besides i dont eat much any ways. i might just order a salad and call it a day.

StephenP:
On the first date, she better be ready to go to Chevy's or Olive Garden.

Olive Garden? well that is your cup of tea, but personally if i was a dude i wouldn't take no girl there on the first date. Because pending this girl is a GD, well she gonna make you bring out your pay check. or you betta go get hair net to start washing plates.

dreeldee:
Nope you're wrong, if you're the expensive type, nothing could be more befitting of your status than you giving me a treat instead of expecting me to spend 100s of dollars on a first date

oh goodness gracious. opportunist.

StephenP:
On that first date, if I see you as a potential gold digger, that's is going leave me with a bad impression of you and you with a blocked phone number _jk

Oka go and be cheap. And all you gonna get is cheap girls who only buy things with coupons.

StephenP:
Hell no! I need to know how much she eats first and find out if she's the type that love men who take them ridiculously expensive restaurants before I offer to pay a dime.

That is why you gotta be smart in what restaurant you go to. Don't take her to some expensive french place that everything is 15 dollars and above. But don't be taking her to no all you can eat buffet, cause it is going to say A LOT about you.

dreeldee:
Onyinye, i'm way too expensive for you but a lot of you ladies are greedy and you're looking for a "mumu" guy to play around, first date, fine I can treat you to that but subsequent dates depends on how well we get along and of course how the first date went

All i know is on that first date, if im seeing that you are being cheap, that is going to leave me with a not so good impression on ya.

Who cares about those sorry Mavs.

HCH3COO:
Nne take your time.  The man pays sometimes, so does the woman.      I love a woman who pays all the time.  She really loves me.

Of course you would love her el cheapo.

ibkaye:
@topic
Pay Equally

Hehehe, but you know say some people do those tricks where they know the waiter/waitress is about to bring the bill, that is coincidentally the time that they suddenly always need to visit the toilet or get something from the car, egbami ki ole ole ole ole ole ole!

Sssssshhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!. are you tryna to give us away?

StephenP:
Whether I pay completely or let her pay for her herself is spontaneous really but a huge determining factor is how well the previous date went. So on most of my first dates, we both pay for ourselves. If it went well and I want a second date, most times I'll foot the bill. However, there was this one time a woman paid for me just because . . .

Mba, the first date, you should offer to pay. it is the gentlemen's way.