₦airaland Forum

sistawoman:
Whats whats wrong with that?

He has always had a key to my place.  He has always been welcome in my home.  He is one of two friends that I have that does not need to call to come over all he has to do is show up.

Are you serious!!!!!!! Dude get a key to house.  Gurlie you playing with fire and trying to calm it with gasoline.

sistawoman:
Before I moved an hour away he was the one that would stop past the house to check on the kids while i worked or pick them up when they were sick.  He has been a shoulder to cry on and someone to celebrate the good times in my life.  He has been my grounding stick and my best friend through thick and thin.  We have both had times in our relationship where our S/O's wanted us to cut the relationship and neither one of us was willing to do so.  I even had someone try to threaten to end the relationship with me because i would not cut Rob loose.  I told the dude you walk away if you want but Rob has been here for 15 years and I aint throwing that away.

Oka out of all my friends, 80% are male. And i have known them my whole life. but i don't treat them the way you treating baby boy over here.

sistawoman:
So for him to come to my house, before i was married, drunk as hell or sober and climb in the bed next to me was nothing it was like my brother laying down beside me.  He never once tried to have sex with me or touch me, even thou i sleep in the buff.  He would just grab the blanket off the bottom of the bed and sleep away till the morning.

Hell naw. i known my friends since i was two. They are my partna'z in crime, but there is no way in hell i will allow them to climb in the bed with me. I can't even allow my boyfriend to climb in the bed with me.

@IbK
My best friend name is Mayowa. . . but she is a girl

Well sistawoman, i couldn't be you. When a friend of mine tells me they feel as more than a friend, I'm OUT. because in the back of my mind im going to think about how this dude is really feelin' me.

Sorry charlie, but your relationship won't be exactly the same. It will be sort of strange and awkward. I mean her knowing that you have feelings for her, puts a damper on your friendship. It is like you can't really be yourselves around eachother. Trust me i know.

sistawoman:
i learned that lesson a long time ago never let it slide. Esp. if they are like me. I like to test my limits and if you let it slide this time i will try it again then again but each time i will push the limit just a little bit more
You have to be firm with your limits and not let them get away with it the first time.

So did you love that person too much or you had too much trust in that person?

All thanks to agaba and his mbe piece. i literally brought out all my stuff just to get the first few sentences.

StephenP:
I probably in love too hard and too soon and I refused to confront issues, I thought it was best to let it slide.

Ahhh poor Stephen.

Yey!!! i was right!!

@Ruby
I think she said "what you are here for?" or "what are you doing here?"  i might be wrong.

agaba123:
I have caught you.

But at least you now know your fault. Work on it

Oka. . . im not sure what you caught me doing so ummm . . . sure.

agaba123:
So you have already experienced the result of wanting to be independent. You were only forming?  . . hehehe

Gini?

nalijah07:
@onyinye -

Yes, being too independent and strong was another thing I had a problem with.

I wanted to prove that I needed no one, so I guess he assumed that he didn't need to be there for me for anything, which led to my greater frustrations.

Took the words right out of my mouth. I mean when i think about all the stupid things i wanted to prove, i just start to laugh. It was so ridiculous. I mean i was just being childish. I guess i wanted to prove that i was a strong woman. That i don't need a man to provide for me, take of me because i can do it myself. So he just left. He said that if i want to be independent, then be independent.

Well in a sense i learned that i can't be so stubborn. That is truly my biggest fault. I always want to have my way. And if i don't, then i just get this attitude. It is like ridiculous. I mean i know that i need to lighten up, but i just don't do it. Which in the end, i lost that relationship. I learned alot because i still reference all the stupid and idiotic things i did. How i constantly wanted to prove how "strong" i was.  How freaking independent i am. How i don't need no one for anything. And in the end, i was weak. I learned alot from this relationship. And it makes me want to work on my stubborness because it has being getting me in trouble since i was little.

HCH3COO:
LOL You're jiving with me.  You mean you won't box his head off ?

Me, hit someone? Never.

[quote author=gabe_logan link=topic=155494.msg2619384#msg2619384 date=1218044122]don't mind onyinye
she's a female supremacist. i'm beginning to doubt if she'll get married with this her stance on sharing formula and all her posturing[/quote]Blah Blah Blah, rubbish in my ears.

sistawoman:
I believe she will get married,  I will just take a special kind of brotha to marry her.  When he comes thou she will gladly give him the power and all this women's power bs will go out the window, because she will learn that she can still be powerful and still have a husband as head of the house.  Because he has 60 and she 40 does not mean that she is less than him, just that more of the weight is on his shoulders.

Of course i will get married eventually. I know i can't be as stubborn as i am now. Because i don't want to meet my match when i have my own daughters. Because that is what happened to my father. He was stubborn at my age, then had me, and met his match.

sistawoman:
I don't see anything wrong with handing my man the money in the car on the way out to eat.  Suppose he gets paid the next day but wants to go out tonight.  If i have the funds then I will just let him be the man he is not have sit there while his woman pays.

A mans ego is delicate and if you learn to work it properly, girl, he will give you everything and anything.

I know a little something about this so called "male ego". i know for sure i can't crush or else he won't do anything. And i know i can't let it go untamed because he will let it go straight to his head.

HCH3COO:
Why are you so adamant about power split.   Forget about the position of power and focus on achieving a fulfilling marriage.  When you mature more you will understand that there's more to marriage than who gets the 60 or who gets the 40.

I won't let the whole "power" thing be the focus of my marriage. I will just deal with it even if i don't like it.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2619361#msg2619361 date=1218043867]u can't start something without finishing it.
and for your info, you have no power at all[/quote]I did start something and I did finish it.
And oh HELL YEAH i go some power brotha

[quote author=gabe_logan link=topic=155494.msg2619339#msg2619339 date=1218043705]onyinye which one?

tell us now[/quote]Nwoke, don't worry about it.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2619343#msg2619343 date=1218043759]Which one would that be.[/quote]Nna, don't worry about it.

Ruby why didn't you tell me that you were getting more lessons? let me go get a pencil.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2619287#msg2619287 date=1218043125]now you are talking like a lady and not like a baby, u have finally woken up from your dreams without sleeping.[/quote]yeah yeah yeah I mean i understand what im "suppose" to do. but doesn't mean i will enjoy it. I enjoy cooking for my man, being there as his is right hand person, catering to his needs, fulfilling all his desires(well except one), but i don't enjoy the power split. I don't like the whole 60/40 thing.

yeah, and i have training and conditioning to think about too.

Same here Ruby

:p

@agaba
I hope you are happy because you got me bringing out all my Igbo dictionaries and papers trying to translate your piece.

I know. Im working on it.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2619187#msg2619187 date=1218041836]i am not making u look that way, but what u saying is giving u away as such[/quote]Oka i admit im stubborn and clever. But im not cruel nor evil. I understand that i can't run the household no matter how capable i am of doing it. I understand that the power is going to be 60/40 no matter how much i don't like it. But im not selfish. I'm willing to do whatever my man wants of me. That is my job as his wife. And of course i would pamper my husband. I mean just let me put on a little Gerald Albright and i will satisfy his every need.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=157749.msg2619173#msg2619173 date=1218041647]Anyhow, here is my take on all these.
I see no big deal in who cook, i have this policy, that whoever come home first would cook dinner, or should the man just sit and be hungry while waiting for the wife to come back and do the cooking?
No big deal who pick the tab for the dinner when you dine out, you are together, and the money is for both of you, when you are yet to marry, it is called love, and i see no big deal in all stuff like that, i personally think ppple that make a big deal of such are plain babies.[/quote]You have a point and i heard your 50 cents but doesn't mean it over shadow's my 50 cents either.

If a guy doesn't have money at the time, it wouldn't drive me to no other man. I would do my part as the woman to support us both and support him to get a job too. But you make me sound as if im that kind of chic who only looks out for herself and seldomly puts her man first.

idupaul:
The line between both is thin

And i have yet to cross it.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=157749.msg2619119#msg2619119 date=1218041025]so that means there is a role for him to always pay for dinner or and you always cook for him then? i am going by your definition oh[/quote]I didn't say always, i said "usually". Meaning most of the time. Most of the time i will cook for us,not just him. And most of the time he will pay for dinner.

A marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. Two heads are always better than one. And of course i would "pamper" my man and make him feel adored. I might be stubborn but im not cruel.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2619087#msg2619087 date=1218040597]try to lay down your arms for once and see from other angle, the man is your man and there is nothing wrong in you coming home and yu want to go for dinner with him, and you " here hon, hang on to this" and he will use that to pay after eating, but nope, u want people to know you da big shot?
no matter what you do, the man will always be the man. chikena[/quote]Im not trying to be the "big shot". i just feel if im the one with the money, then i should be the one to answer when the check comes. This just all goes back to man and his best friend ego.

Rhino, you should know me by now. I'm stubborn. even when i don't want to be, I am.