₦airaland Forum

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2618325#msg2618325 date=1218032531]What is TMI oh
Secondly, all i am saying is more ladies suffers in silence than the men.[/quote]TMI=too much information
Ladies are suffering from what?

sistawoman:
Rhino,

I honestly don't know.  The situation was that the flowers were sent from a secert admierer and I automaticly thought they were from him.  No one else is supposed to be sending me flowers.  

Now if the card had had the other mans name on them yes I would have called him and let him know.  That is something that you don't hide from your husband.  I would not want my husband to hide something like that from me.  Those types of things have a way of coming out and I hate to have egg in my face and would never do that to him.

Im just saying sistawoman that i would just not let it faze you. If the guy sends you more flowers, throw them away. What, they cost maybe 10 dollars? Who cares. If your husband can't accept the fact that you are faithful in the marriage, then he is the one with the insecure problems.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2618259#msg2618259 date=1218032045]How am i supposed to know by looking at the babe thats he cld satisfy my every need, when my wife is already giving it to me at will, all shaped and all over the house, in da kitchen, on da dinning, haba, what else do i want.

But for women, most of husband just satisfy their own sexual urge and as soon as they come, they just get up and not knowing that the woman is yet to get to the real level, now, that is what a woman is missing.[/quote]First of all you are in violation of TMI.
Second, oka let me get your second statement straight. So a guy is having sex with his wife, she reaches her climax, then the guy just leaves. So you are saying that because of this a woman will go sought after a man that will help her reach that "real level"? and could you explain what the "real level" means cause i don't know.

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2618222#msg2618222 date=1218031696]when i love, i love with all in me, and can't cheat[/quote]Oka then Mr. Rhino, not even when you tempted with the most seductive woman? a woman that can satisfy your every need and then some?

[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=155494.msg2618232#msg2618232 date=1218031766]What cld a woman use to temp me that my woman don't already have?[/quote]Same with us ladies. What could a man tempt us with that our own man already has?

huxley:
What do you mean by the word sin? I do not understand the word. Can you help by defining it for me?

any act regarded as such a transgression, esp. a willful or deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.

If a man of mine dare insult me in public, so help him God. I don't take such disrespect. I would just walk away and let him look like the jackass instead of retaliating.

so is he dead?

onyinye2:
Rhino, you is a freak. Any ways im just saying that i can't be tempted enough to cheat on any man of mine. What about you? cause you men are so EASILY tempted.

This question.

So Huxley you are basically saying that you have no sin and have committed no sin?

Sistawoman, don't answer Rhino's questions until he answers mine.

Anyways we as women all go through the same thing. I mean i can't go to the gym with out some low timer hitting on me. But if i was in your situation, i would confront guy. I would walk up to him, all peachy. Ask him if he was the one who gave me these gorgeous flowers. If he says yes, i would tell him to stop giving me flowers. If he says no, i would just apologize and walk back to my office.

Karma you said it all. I know folk who wait to marriage before they get tested and find out one of them is HIV positive. it is sad to see but it happens. That is why i can't stress enough for people to suck up that false sense of pride and go get tested. It is way better to know your statis than to pass it on to some innocent person.

Why would you want to unshy a person? I have come to find that the shy ones usually have more to say when you give them the chance. I love shy guys because there is something mysterious about them that you want to know more of.

@post
I feel that a person should get tested in a relationship, when they BOTH mutually decide they are ready to become an intimate couple.

@post
I feel you are truly in love when it comes to hard times, your love doesn't demolish but grows strong.

Same here SeanT!!! Team USA all the Way!

topup:
This situation cannot be compared or similarised to that of an abusive relationship, simply because there is no abuse.

From what it sounds davidylan enjoyed being with his first love, that's why he has fond memories of her and using her as a benchmark,  please don't tell me that no matter the experience, the first love will always be something you'll want to use as a benchmark,  well maybe if it's to make sure you NEVER make the same mistake, but if you were in an abusive relationship I doubt you'd want anything similar to that again.

Yes you will use that person as a benchmark. Yes for either a lesson to never go back to such a relationship. Or sometimes on how much of a wonderful experience it was.

topup:
YES I THINK that BY thinking of the bad it'll make things easier, when you keep in mind, it is in comparison to thinking that she was an innocent angel.
I am not providing solutions that will 100% completely work, we are talking about making things easier, which is relative,  it doesn't mean there isn't still emotion or sadness, you just are able to put things in perspective.

Well in some way thinking of the bad those makes things a wee bit better. Because you are reminded on why you left the relationship or why it is over. But sometimes i think there are times you got to focus on the good. Like when you first break up with that person. You need to get all that emotion and sadness out. So i suggest to first cry out all the good that you remember. Then when you are done crying and being down, think of the bad in the relationship. All the moments when you couldn't bare the person. By then you have nothing to hold on to and can fully move on.

topup:
What about the abusive relationship,  the example you have used is extremely rare,  most women would go back because they place more emphasis on the good memories or due to nothing to do with good thoughts or bad, and more to do with simply they believe they have no other option or home or societial pressures. Women who go back to their abusers often say 'he's not that bad, he buys me anything I want, or he never hits me when the kids are around',  does this sound like a person who is considering the cons at all?

Yes you are right that those women do focus on the good more than the bad. But alot do focus on the bad but there abuser had destroyed their self esteem and feel that they are worth it for any other man. So they silently suffer.

HCH3COO:

Just what i thought

HCH3COO:
truly questionable.

Educate me then my brotha

topup:
What is it with everybody on this topic!?

I'm giving advice because I care,

I mean just because something is difficult doesn't mean you shouldn't attempt it or impossible or a happy medium cannot be reached.


Just try your best to think about the good and bad, often we only have the good memories, we never remember the arguments which made us want to walk out, or the annoying habits they refused to let go. We only remember the times they were good and this is what will make it more difficult to overcome.

A lot of people give advice that seems impossible it doesn't mean it's not the best advice.

A great example would be when I was told to simple move on, though I had hope of rekindling our relationship. Yes it's easier said than done, but that doesn't excuse anything! The advice will bring what's best for me, it's just difficult to follow or achieve, but every day if I try then it gets better, I may never forget about him and I don't have to, but to be in a state where he starts to affect my future relationship, that no guy will be good enough unless they do things the way he did, treat me the way he did or better. Everybody's different and I may miss out on other guys' other qualities if I focus on comparing the ones my ex had.

Do you think that by thinking of the bad will make things easier? Think of all the woman who think of the bad when they are in an abusive relationship. And most of them will end up going back.

topup:
My problem is that I don't actually know if I was in love with him, I have had other relationships in which I felt I would not get over and I did,  in fact completely.

This however I can honestly say was my first serious, physical and emotional relationship. I mean I've done the whole teenage love crush thing, done the LD/ internet thing, but this was the first adult-style relationship,  if you get me.

But yes you're right,  I've heard from many, you never forget your first love.



One of my guy friends told me that at the time he did not realise he loved her, but now with other girls, he can't forget the time they spent together and her effect on him.

You never forget such things as that. Your first crush, first kiss, first sexual experience, first break up, and first love. They are always apart of you. That is why they are considered first. But the good thing about them is that you learn from them. You become wiser from them.

Women's Perspective

Your first love is will always be in the back of your mind. No matter how many relationships you have afterwards. There is something about that first love that just can't erase. The memories, the feelings, the experiences, you can't just put behind you. Even when you try to forget, you always remember. I don't know but maybe because it is your first that makes it so special.

Can i answer this question in a woman's perspective topup?

So you do have a heart after all.

LMAO!!!!! we shall see. don't let me catch you on the streets

davidylan:
its tough but hey what can you do? suck it in and find another guy . . . it aint easy though. You'll always use that guy as a benchmark for others.

As scary as this sounds, im actually agreeing with you.

Oh i love your profile pic SeanT21. we here in Texas were also sad when he heard the news about Sean Taylor.

Oh so you is denying Junior? you gonna pay what you owe

Oh we will Debosky! be prepared to pay what you owe! You are going to need more than stephen to get you out of this one

Oh topup, don't mind acid. he is just jiving with you. no need to take him too seriously. it is nice that you realize why you were so attached to your ex and how you can get passed that.

Acid be a little sympathetic.

HCH3COO:
that makes two of us. i was helped. you showed me the mind of a brokenhearted woman.

Acid, stop it.

contribute as in what topup?