₦airaland Forum

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

nne3870: If you think the devil is a liar, wait until you meet a nigerian guy.

nne girls dey enjoy d lie especially wen e favour dem.girls r very smart.dey believe wat they enjoy believing.if not y would an ugly girl who knows her rating in the beauty dept believe a guy that tells her that beauty is in d eye of the beholder.

a friend of mine was once accused by his girlfriend of sleeping with another girl.the girl heard about it thru hearsay.when she confronted the guy,the guy told him the truth which was that he actually did it,and asked the girl for forgiveness.

But the girl refused.When she came to tell me the matter,she gave me the reason for her refusal.She said that for the guy to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth,the guy does not love or regard her.she said that the guy should at least have tried to lie, and cover up thereby showing that he actually had regard for her.she said dat if in the end she happens to find out,then the guy can explain that it was love and fear that made him lie,and in so doing her pride and dignity would hv been fed.

i had to explain to her that the guy really loved her,and that that was the reason for telling her the truth...

girls love lie,thats the truth.as a matter of fact the road to the heart of many girls is lies...lies garnished with honey and sugar...the bigger the lie,the sweeter...they find guys that can spin very outrageous lies interesting.tell them the truth and u are a dullard...but tell them lies out of this world,lies that are bold,and they would love you.they love drama...and to bild that drama a guy must tell lies...

haibe: @originbm its clear you just keep understanding what you assume to be true, am gonna leave you to your understanding.

ahh haibe...kk.look at this.

"I proposed to lara yesterday."

The above sentence means only"i asked for lara's hand in marriage."

try and see if u can use propose in an intransitive form to denote "asking a girl out". maybe then u will understand what i am trying to put to you better.

Now look at these two sentences:

1:I proposed to Lara yesterday
2:I proposed marriage to Lara yesterday.

can u see any difference bw both of them.try using any of the forms to make a sentence asking a girl out.

sexytabhi: You and I know that men lie more and they are smart about it

ahhh.na lie oo.everfin about a girl na lie designed to mislead u.hair,na african dey go lie say na brazilian.dey go short they go wear high heel to look taller.what of breast packaging and repackaging?false eyelash,false hip,false backside...no try girls oo.

haibe: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/_/dict.aspxrd=1&word=propose

@originbm you can take your time to study all the definitions given for propose here, by the time you are through, you should not have any problem with simple english again.

I hv looked up the dictionary,u presented.i think i understand the problem.u take "especially",to only mean "to a greater degree".especially also means "particularly,specifically,.check ur dictionary there.and this is the form in which it is used.
how come u read only the top and left to teach people here.the thesaurus stated wat ive been trying to teach u.when they defined propose in the intransitive form it became for marriage request specifically.check it up.

n.b. wen i said propose does not denote offer,i meant in the intransitive form.

haibe: Have you heard of 'offer and acceptance' in law? Is that strange to you?

An offer could be for consideration, acceptance or even an action like some dictionaries put it, if you did study the definitions i gave, you won't have a problem understanding the word offer as used in that context. By saying an offer can't be for consideration you are not saying am wrong but other english scholars who gave the definition of propose.

The sixth definition i gave for the word propose was 'to make an offer, esp of marriage', are you trying to say this definition from the dictionary is wrong? How can you say 'to propose' does not in any way mean or denote to offer? Why then is it used in the context of marriage(the 6th definition), i guess you have to challenge a lot of english scholars to be right on this one.

I never said the synonym of offer is propose, i only said,"when you ask a girl out, is it an offer for consideration/acceptance or not?" And you said no, meaning when you ask a girl out it isn't an offer for acceptance, you are just confused bro, If propose(intransitive) is exclusive to marriage in the relationship definitions, then you wouldn't get phrases like 'esp marriage', 'mostly marriage', 'mainly marriage' as used in some definitions, take your time to study.

When u use a language in a sense which is particular to a particular profession it becomes jargon of that profession.propose cannever imply offer in regular english which is wat u were implying.

if u can use propose in an intransitive form to denote anything outside to ask for someone's hand in marriage then make a sentence with propose in the intransitive form indicating to take a girl out and lets c ur ignorance now.i am not in the place to argue with u .i am telling u.

wow....is that u really playing the keyboard in your profile?u r an artiste?

haibe: okay I know your problem, when you ask a girl out,

"is it an offer for consideration/acceptance or not?"


I think you should have said:'is it a request for consideration or not?'ur grammar there is wrong.you cant "offer for cosideration".you can only request for consideration.

Now let me break it down like abc for you:make a sentence requesting for a date using 'propose 'in the sentence.

See Haibe forget any arguement u r trying to make here.if u have an english lecturer consult him.whenever u hear the phrase"propose to",u r talking of asking for a girl's hand in marriage.

Secondly ,the synonym for offer is not to propose,it is to proposition.i think thats the source of your confusion.to proposition a girl could also mean to ask a girl for se.xx.and proposition in this context is a verb .it is not the nominal form of propose.(in case u r looking at the -ion.)

Even if anyone teaches you otherwise,the person is wrong.i expect u to correct the person having known it now instead of arguing.

to propose does not in anyway mean or denote to offer.it is to proposition that is synonymous with to offer.

haibe: I know your type.. you no dey gree, okay u are right, you know it all...

am not surprised why people fail.

u know my type?i actually didnt mean to confront u.dat was y i adressed the lady directly.yet u blew ur top.i used a conciliatory tone,yet u rebuffed me.so whos the bad guy?

haibe: Lmao, get angry for correcting you, do me a favour, get an english encyclopedia and study how word are used and derived, it will help you a lot, some words that are used in most cases doesn't mean they are not used in others.

wen u cant learn u r lost.u dont need an encyclopaedia to get the etymology of propose.i have thought how to use it either u learn or u go on making urself a laughing stock among people who are saavy.its ur choice.but dont peddle what u r not sure of in a forum like this.i could teach u how to use the synonyms of a context to understand the usage of words.but uld hv to be willing to learn first.and humbly.

haibe: pro•pose (prəˈpoʊz)
v. -posed, -pos•ing. v.t.
1. to offer for consideration, acceptance,
or action: proposed a new method.
2. to offer (a toast).
3. to suggest.
4. to nominate (a person) for office,
membership, etc.
5. to plan; intend.
v.i.
6. to make an offer, esp. of marriage.

@harbosede the sixth definition makes it clear, especially of marriage doesn't mean 'only marriage' like some people are saying, don't let some people confuse you, and i can tell you a secret about english language later.

y r u trying to justify a mistake that u ignorantly made.propose wen used for marriage has a usage all its own.u want misinform people on the forum.when u use propose in relationship context u must add the word 'to',thats y it is in intransitive use.and it is only in this context that the word is used intransitively.in other usages it is not tied to a preposition.
so get ur facts.
why should it hv a different usage if it already has the ability of being infered from 'offer'.

Take the simple correction and move on.dont argue wat u dont know.and most importantly dont teach wat u r not sure off.its harmful to those who would believe you.

haibe: Pride is bad! Propose doesn't mean only one thing, it doesn't mean to ask someone to marry you only, it is only used more in marriage than in asking someone out, do you get? Don't be quick to comment, propose as in proposal(to toast) can be used in any sense, in romance it is used mostly for marriage and that doesn't rule out the usage in dating... That's why people say english is difficult, because some people don't take time to study the terms of words.

Y r u getting angry.i had to correct u so u dont make the mistake outside.i am not telling u wat i think.u should have a dictionary there where u r .check it.there are four distinct usages for the word propose.it is never used in relationship context except to ask for someone's hond in marriage.other synonyms are:to declare oneself,to pop the questions.It is the only form of propose that is used in an intransitive form.
To ask somoene out means solely to ask someone on a date.i didnt mean to put u down but it would be the greater harm for u to miseducate urself and others.

Harbosede02: d day sum1 wil stp learning is day d person dies,no 1 is perfect...xo fnx 4 d correction.

In relationship setting,or romance,propose only means one thing:to ask someone to marry you.you were correct.

lorretta u: I agree with you.
But it's always a lil bit worse if it's the lady who asked first and then the relationship goes sour(if it starts at all). And she'll feel more humiliated

One of the biggest problems of a girl asking a guy out is a tendency for the girl to believe that any percieved negigence,or misunderstanding they might hv stems from the fact that she approached the guy first.
The truth is that a girl asking a guy out adds the responsibility of the guy prooving not just that he loves the girl,but of being worthy of the girl's approach.and if the girl is not self confident the task becomes so great for the guy that it might end up destroying the relationship.

The girl must divorce from her mind the tendency to interprete every wrong doing from the guy as being because she approached the guy first.i.e the girl must be at peace with herself,know what she wants and be mature enough to enjoy the relationship for what it is.

And above all:Choose the right kind of guy....

lorretta u: I agree with you.
But it's always a lil bit worse if it's the lady who asked first and then the relationship goes sour(if it starts at all). And she'll feel more humiliated

One of the biggest problems of a girl asking a guy out is a tendency for the girl to believe that any percieved negigence,or misunderstanding they might hv stems from the fact that she approached the guy first.
The truth is that a girl asking a guy out adds the responsibility of the guy prooving not just that he loves the girl,but of being worthy of the girl's approach.and if the girl is not self confident the task becomes so great for the guy that it might end up destroying the relationship.

The girl must divorce from her mind the tendency to interprete every wrong doing from the guy as being because she approached the guy first.i.e the girl must be at peace with herself,know what she wants and be mature enough to enjoy the relationship for what it is.

And above all:Choose the right kind of guy....

i think most guyz here are looking at 'asking out' from the rough and tumble manner of guys.a girl would initiate a converstion tentatively with a guy she fancies,and if the guy is approacheble and sweet.she would make other overtures,like asking y questions like:y are u always alone?,always wearing a brown suit,or always anything,or asking y dont always relate with girls,or asking if u r the shy type...anything.gradually testing the waters she might invite u to a birthday party,art exhibition,etc.and withh time the guy gets with the rythm and opts in fully if the attraction is mutual...

it might be a long shot to think a girl would just meet u and like most guyz do just say something like: hey handsome where r u going?mind if i chat u up for a moment.i really love the way u walk,plus ur shape is to die for..."

And d truth is that most girls ask a guy out the way they would love a guy to ask them out .i.e with extreme consideration for their nature which demands security in a relationship.

On the whole if u are very approachable,sweet-mannered,and mature-minded(not comming across as petty),girls will find it easy to ask you out.

Same goes for girls

orgasticdance: This, to my mind, does not equate to her asking you out. She only initiated and is drooling over you, but in the end na u go still pop the big Q? Now my question to these guys who are claiming they've been asked out by girls is:

1. How many girls have come to you at a restaurant or some crowded area filled with people to initiate a conversation, and then ask you for your phone number then FOLLOWS up within a day or two, because they find you attractive and want to start a relationship?
2. How many girls have spotted you in say a market, trailed you for minutes and then stops you at a convenient corner to chat u up and collect ur number?
3. How many girls have added you on FB, sent you a msg indicating their interest, and persist in trying to hook up with u?
4. I could go on, but my point is, how many of them have actually gone out of their way to ask you out, which most men do?

Girls do all these thing but in a much more subtle way than guys.

lorretta u: Most guys would like a lady to ask them out so that they can brag to their friends how one slutty girl is throwing herself all over him.
And encourage him to 'knack' her. In their voice it goes "guy no dull o. See free punni. Guy no fall my hand o."
All these ones waiting for a lady to ask them out,lol you're in for a loooong wait.in this jungle of no gentlemen u really expect a girl to throw her dignity at ur feet just like that?
Truth is that it doesn't matter.and it's a bit admirable.
But problem is with the attitude of men. So many girls will NEVER take that chance,
Unless of course I find myself in yankee.
Sorry dudes.for now y'all gotta be doing the chasing.

Surround urself with the right kinda guyz the.
it depends on the guy.not every guy will talk about a lady to other guys.i think guys will also use the lines above when they ask a girl out and she agrees.many guys are quick to embellish their conquests.and the truth is that whether u hold out or not many guys will always love to make it look like an easy conquest so as to get the back-patting of their peers.

haba guys.how una go get mind dey call girl ugly?e no make sense nah.

There are many ways thru which girls ask guyz out.only u have to be educated in the language of girls to understand it.The easiest way for a guy to really say no when not interested is to actually pretend not to understand the languge.by so doing u save the girl from the ordeal of outright rejection.eventhough for some girls the apparent innocence of the guy makes the guy even more attractive to them...in the end only a mature mind,who is not vain,who can empathize and appreciate what it actually took the girl to go that length,can handle the delicacy that such situations present...so girls before u do,observe....

bin gbagbo: i stay in the same house house with a police officer and his wife. the police officer has been away for the past month, but i have caught his wife on two ocassions disposing used male condoms.i have these condoms at my disposal but dont know how to tackle this matter. what makes me sure she is cheating is the advances she is making at me as well. help me.

Stay away from their affairs.u werent there when they contracted the marriage and u dont know the condition under which the marriage was contracted...if she makes a pass at u...run away! but live ur life and let them take care of theirs.if d man is ignorant of his wife's misdeeds,then maybe the ignorance is his own defence mechanism....but above leave them alone.

Bludeville: I'm a graduate of pharmacy from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka and in my department, re-sits are often written, this is because in pharmacy, most courses are 'prerequisites' , what this means is you cant proceed to the next level of a certain course (e.g Pharmacology 301) if you havent passed the previous level (Pharmacology 201) because it is a continous process and it's difficult/impossible to truly understand 301 if you havent proven that you have a firm grasp of 201.
I think that the NUC should poke their noses where they are truly needed and not disrupting and stupidly banning certain practices especially if they do not know/understand the reason behind it because it only makes them seem stupid.

wat r u talking abt?the university of benin offer 6yrs pharmacy programme and there is no resit.u fail and fail out.why should nsukka soft pedal?its the heat that generates the respect for the course.and saying nuc does not understand the system means u dont know thst there r proffessors of med.,pharm,and other hardened educationists on the board?

rudian: No offence taken. But kindly explain why optometry and pharmacy students won't pray for the strike to end?

Well if not for d timely intervention of ASUU i'm sure abt half of them would be at the health centre now due to nervous breakdown.anybody btw 400 to 600 level in these dept would tell u wat i am talking abt.same with dentistry and medicine.but their only little luck is that they do not operate a 3 month academic calendar.

nep2ra: Years of poverty and oppression have given most Nigerians an inferiority complex. A car is a land transport vehicle not a spaceship. How many European and American actresses do this

There is nothing like nigerian mentality in it.its part of the materialism which is part of the popular culture sweeping across the western world and their sphere of influence. american actors,actresses and singers are all in on it.not to mention american hip hop culture.

vivianc: Hi guys, ok I met this guy sometime ago, he is a nice guy tho not perfect. I wasn't in love with him anyway but I just decided to get close to him and see if the love could develop.

When I got closer to him I found out he is an extravagant spender, he just jumps into things without planning them. He can begin 5 projects at a time without a proper strategy/planning and some of the money he uses for these project are bank loans. This aspect of his lifestyle did not go down with me. I kept talking but at the end of the day he will do what pleases him.

The one that broke the camel's back was when he bought a flashy car while he was yet to complete his buildings at the village and city respectively, he bought the car and made a commitment of over 1m just for tourism/travelling around and staying in 5 star hotels.
I just knew that moment he wasn't for me, this guy really loves me but I'm a careful spender and I love planning things before I do them. So I told him to stop coming cos it won't work out between us. And I moved on and even forgot he existed.

Today he called me probably to find out how I'm managing the flood situation, we got talking and somehow we ended up talking about what happened between us. From his voice I could sense his love and desire for me,,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,

How do I deal with this aspect of his life? Can I tame him? Is it really possible? Not that it will guarantee any relationship cos I'm yet to developed feelings for him. But I just wanna try, take this baby step and maybe reconsider.......they say love grows right?

Mature advise pls........

I think there are four issues here:
1. Is it that the amount of money spent is too much in relation to what u think he has
2.or is it that he didnt consult u
3.or is it that he disregarded ur concerns.
4.Or is it that u think the things he bought undeserving of the expense

I would hv been able to proffer a more effe tive advice if i knew which one of the underlined issues is of the utmost concern to u.

But from the back of my wrist,i think he would take to ur opinions more if he learns to respect your intelligence.many things make a man behave the way he does and there are never any simple answers to the question of human behaviour.the first thing is to thoroughly understand his point of view.then weigh them,and try to point out a better way without being too intrusive since u r still getting to know each other.remember he might always argue within himself that his way of life has always worked for him before he met u so y change it?
I think its more important that u notice the way he treats ur fears.to hv gone as far as he has obviously gone,he has to be smart.
If he can listen and identify with ur fears then he is open to learn.but if not then its left for u to decide whether u r willing to take the risk...


n.b:Some men actually change and become more parsimonious when presented with the responsibility of family...but its still a gamble.

U r actually a very intelligent girl for u to be worried by an issue like this.ur worry is very very valid.

vivianc: Hi guys, ok I met this guy sometime ago, he is a nice guy tho not perfect. I wasn't in love with him anyway but I just decided to get close to him and see if the love could develop.

When I got closer to him I found out he is an extravagant spender, he just jumps into things without planning them. He can begin 5 projects at a time without a proper strategy/planning and some of the money he uses for these project are bank loans. This aspect of his lifestyle did not go down with me. I kept talking but at the end of the day he will do what pleases him.

The one that broke the camel's back was when he bought a flashy car while he was yet to complete his buildings at the village and city respectively, he bought the car and made a commitment of over 1m just for tourism/travelling around and staying in 5 star hotels.
I just knew that moment he wasn't for me, this guy really loves me but I'm a careful spender and I love planning things before I do them. So I told him to stop coming cos it won't work out between us. And I moved on and even forgot he existed.

Today he called me probably to find out how I'm managing the flood situation, we got talking and somehow we ended up talking about what happened between us. From his voice I could sense his love and desire for me,,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,

How do I deal with this aspect of his life? Can I tame him? Is it really possible? Not that it will guarantee any relationship cos I'm yet to developed feelings for him. But I just wanna try, take this baby step and maybe reconsider.......they say love grows right?

Mature advise pls........

I think there are four issues here:
1. Is it that the amount of money spent is too much in relation to what u think he has
2.or is it that he didnt consult u
3.or is it that he disregarded ur concerns.
4.Or is it that u think the things he bought undeserving of the expense

I would hv been able to proffer a more effe tive advice if i knew which one of the underlined issues is of the utmost concern to u.

But from the back of my wrist,i think he would take to ur opinions more if he learns to respect your intelligence.many things make a man behave the way he does and there are never any simple answers to the question of human behaviour.the first thing is to thoroughly understand his point of view.then weigh them,and try to point out a better way without being too intrusive since u r still getting to know each other.remember he might always argue within himself that his way of life has always worked for him before he met u so y change it?
I think its more important that u notice the way he treats ur fears.to hv gone as far as he has obviously gone,he has to be smart.
If he can listen and identify with ur fears then he is open to learn.but if not then its left for u to decide whether u r willing to take the risk...


n.b:Some men actually change and become more parsimonious when presented with the responsibility of family...but its still a gamble.

U r actually a very intelligent girl for u to be worried by an issue like this.ur worry is very very valid.

tpia@:
I dont know what you mean by claiming to be married, what I specifically referred to was the marriage ceremony which makes two people a couple in the eyes of the state and of their society.

Someone bearing their professional title does not mean they are not mrs, try to see beyond whatever lens you are using now and quit belabouring the point, or your lack of one.

y do u always resort to ad hominem.u havent made any ideological point.u havent dissented based on any single precint i've made.i hv watered down the level of my language ,syntax and ideological leaning just to speak so u can understand.yet u havent made any intelligent point.u r arguing like one has not opened any journal or book in yrs except perhaps for gossip magazines.read widely ,only then ull develop the ability to rationalize.if u had intelligent points ild have enjoyed having an intellectual discussion with u but u hv none.ad hominem is always the last resort of the ignorant ,which is wat u r desperately trying to portray yourself as.if u dont understand my quotes ask simply and ill explain.if u dont know hw to think creatively learn it.i cant waste my time pointing out elementary logics to u since u cant even decipher the arguements or contentions in my simplest quotes.

good day.

tpia@:
@ orgronbm

the name change is included in/implied by the marriage ceremony, seems this simple fact eludes you.

when you bear the title mrs, which is what a marriage ceremony is about, the mrs is your husband's name.

therefore, the woman has multiple names while the man retains his one name unless he needs to switch names for whatever reason.

kapish?

What about women that dont use mrs?many only use their professional names.you hardly see dr miss,barr miss,pharm miss.even some married women do not put mrs to their professional titles.wat of those that answer chief,or dame etc.
Now mrs is a marriage title,but not designed to b symbolic.Mrs may only identify that u claim to be married.but the name irrefutably identifies you with who you are joined to.i hv already dicussed the ideology behind the symbology of name change in my prior post.

Now the man does not change his name because in our society the man brings the girl into his own family.and ours is a patrilinear society.challenging the custom itself is another topic and another issue all together.

[quote author=jidegirl12]Originbm

Below is the disputed point in your post:






Again

That ^^^ is where my problem lies with your initial post that brought up this argument : You said - All those who opposed a change of surname on this thread hailed from broken home... Hence their decision and reasoning ( bout maiden name) is shaped by their upbringing .

And I simply questioned your assertions to prove your point but you continued rambling endlessly bout what doesn't seem to be my beeswax.



Now Answer the simple questions I asked you before ;

1.How does being raised by a single parent affect a lady's decision to keep her maiden name as a married woman.

2.What possibly could be the reason why a single parent would teach his/her child to maintain/ keep her maiden name?

3.Do you agree that a decision ( to keep a maiden name) has got nothing to do with your background but personal choice OR not?

Just cos a situation is wrongly perceived / condemned / stigmatized ( societal/ brainwash/ hearsay) doesn't validate that perception .... You'll be surprised if you have an open mind and learn.

Being a single parent is not the end of the world, life goes on abi they should go and die?
------------

Now listen, Dont mumbo jumbo a post without paragraph and punctuation marks .


[/quote






First i dont think u know wat a punctuation or paragraph is,cause i not only punctuated my work,i numerically alligned it.i only didnt indent it.
1.Decisions,whether spontaenous or premeditated r products of learned responses.Every decision encapsulates the world view of a person concerning a particular issue.And this view is represented both by the experiential phenomena of the person and the didactic climate to which the person has beenn subjected.The earliest and the greatest source of this representation is the family....

2.Most divorcee single mums are embittered people.they feel either rightly or wrongly that they hv been dealt a bad hand in marriage.and it doesnt take much for their daughters who would most certainly imitate their mothers to take on this character.the mere fact that as a divorcee ,her mother is bearing her maiden name inures her to the fact that its a breakage from the norm,and the fact that her mother seems to put on the attitude of 'what the hell,it doesnt matter',continues to build up a certain mentality in the daughters psyche.birds of a feather flock together,so she might hv other divorcee friends and when they get together they vent their fury on men,and clap themselves on the back for getting riddance of bad rubbish.the daughter soaks in the atmosphere created by he mother's situation.and since its the only life she might have known it seems like the real life.Perchance the friends of the divorcees all hv daughters and they all become friends,consolidating on each other the tenets of the embittered atmosphere to which they hv become accustomed.add to this the continuous whinning about the stigma and inconveniences of name change which her divorce had occasioned ,the daughter continues to store a host of these information in her brain.The absence of a man in the family have actually robbed her of the opportunity to see what a functional family should be like,and has even imprinted on her mind that a man is at best an accessory that can be discarded, afterall her mother was without one and she grew up without one.All these at the back of her mind makes her suspicious of men and sceptical of the whole marriage institution so that she enters into the marriage with preconceptions which make building a marriage very difficult.to such a girl making a decision to keep her maiden name becomes a natural necessity,because at any point in time she is suspicious of the marriage paranerphalia...and is always ready to check out like her mother,who would hv no moral authority to rebuke her,as she herself is a divorcee and had already been tacitly,explicitly or implicitly imprinting the notions in her that had culminated in the demise of the marriage.....so madam, personal decisions r experientially and didactically motivated...so a the issue of a divorcee is much more likely to make a decision to retain her maiden name....



3.I think the preceeding paragraph has answered the question...finally going into deeper analysis might beyond the scope of this thread.i made it simple so u can relate with it and not call it mumbo jumbo.because i should show u child development models and the effect of early,formative ,cognitive abd experiential phenomena on the growing child...
good day