₦airaland Forum

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254174.msg3652744#msg3652744 date=1238180459]The value of marriage is perseverance, endurance, love and happiness.
Only a dolt and a super slut would dump her husband because of a slapping issue. . . . .
The most annoying thing is you as a woman have suffered more abuses. . . . Did u leave your husband because of such??
Did you disown your siblings when you had fisticuffs as teenagers?? How idiotic and foolish can you be??
I expect you to show maturity here as a married woman. . . . .U sound like a 10 year-old.


Keep telling us what you suffered as a kid of a single mother.
Your mother musta had 10 kids from 10 different husbands.
She couldn't persevere, she couldn't endure. Village gutter rat!![/quote]keep on with your childish rants ode rather than submit yourself to serious therapy.
anu mpam

DeReloaded:
Very True but 3 months is early. I think the "Im such a nice guy" pretense starts to wan after 8months to a year which is why I dont agree with short "courtship". Dont agree with extra long ones either but really short ones are kinda dangerous

I'm speaking from experience perhaps while dating a man you saw almost daily.
the long distance dates are something else.
those ones,you have no idea what you're getting.

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254174.msg3652692#msg3652692 date=1238179863]U are a resident retard and it's surprising that as old as you are, you have the mental capacity of a culex mosquito.
The biggest problem you have is denial. . . . .
We are talking about how things work in Nigeria and you are screaming about America. What is the correlation??
How do the society in Nigeria perceive a divorcee?? Must you be a perpetual idiot in the name of denial??
Did your mother leave your Dad when he stabbed her for pinching a chunk of meat??

I know the value of marriage. . . . . . .Divorce should be the last option cos i was raised in a prime n proper happy home.
From all indications, you don't even know what marriage is if it's plastered on your ugly face like Apricot.
Any woman advising a fellow woman to seek divorce because of a small altercation has no decorum.
Your moral compass is so f'ucked up i doubt you would find your way to your bedroom and pray to God for forgiveness.[/quote]If you had proper parents who taught you value, you'll understand me.
wrong is wrong and right is right even in Abeokuta
but how would you know?
pele
Its not your fault
^{I'm sure as we write this you're having flash backs of a beast pounding at her face while you're holding her wrapper}

again
pele
no be ya fault

davidylan:
na wa o. Na fight?

for where
some people want to send me hot slaps across the internet for speaking the truth

luvinhubby:
OSISI, are you a frustrated fourty something spinster ? was just wondering

yes
do you want t slap me ?

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254174.msg3652611#msg3652611 date=1238179036]It was your mother that was raped, abused and battered.
Look at the drivel you keep ptyalising like an IDIOT. . . . .She should leave her husband like your mother kept doing??

Anyone listening to you would feel you were born n bred in America not knowing you spent the first 40 years of your life hunting lizards n toads.
All this DV-lottery applicants sef. . . . .2 months in America and they all acting like the offspring of Oprah.
What a ninny!!![/quote]I said this is not about your mother and her perpetual black eye
now vamoose from my before

Sweet T:
@Poster

Another quick question: Is your husband from Ekiti or Ondo state ??

Chineke God!

DeReloaded:
well you know such dont say or act out these things til they get you tied down. Help your sisters before they get trapped by knowing signs OFF an internet forum. Rofl

Sauron for example is a bonafide idiot.
His actions outside this forum will not be any different from the garbage that he is in here.
Any man that'll use culture, religion, environment, whatever , to justify abuse needs to be castrated without anesthesia

People can't hide their real persons for a longtime.
The problem with most women is that they are "blinded by love" and the need to be a mrs so they settle for these losers.
Date anyman for 3 months and you can tell his real person
How he responds to simple situations will tell you volumes.
There's absolutely nothing my man  is doing today that popped up after marriage.
I saw him in his entirety during courtship.

If the poster is sincere,she saw this abuse coming
He didn't learn to slap women the day he slapped her
he must have shown several acts of violence which she ignored and may have pushed and shoved and yelled in her face at ocassions.

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254174.msg3652564#msg3652564 date=1238178624]U have shown no evidence of that. . . . .
A woman and her husband had a small altercation and you want her to leave her husband so you can move in??
U have shown the traces of a kid raised by a mother who kept jumping from one married woman to another after any small family problem.
Osisi, u need to clean up your act. . . . . U don't know the value of marriage. Kids raised from broken homes wouldn't know that so it's not surprising.

You are a product of a broken home.
Always ready to break people's home with your moronic drivel and misguided advices.
Why ain't i surprised?? A depraved female like you who has counted 17 husbands and 33 boyfriends of your mother can NEVER value marriage.
What a SLUT!!![/quote]Now you can move on.
This is not about you and your battered mother.

JustGood:
So much mouth running here with half (even quarter) of a story. The woman has left without telling exactly what she did to the man.

I have never been violent in my life but there are certain things that will produce evil in any humn being. The guy has absolutely no right to slap his wife but the wife has not told us EXACTLY what happened before the slaps

Like what?
telling him he was stinking?
will that be deserving of slaps?
those of you giving excuses and at the same time denouncing the slaps are worse than the slappers.
address the situation based on what she told you.

DeReloaded:
Lmao tell us the many signs of "efulefus". You know they hide it well at first

listen to Sauron.
He is a typical example

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254174.msg3652520#msg3652520 date=1238178164]U are very stupid.
Not every woman is in your mother's category of jumping from one husband to another.
We can always tell women raised from broken homes. . . . .They are the first to scream D-I-V-O-R-C-E.[/quote]My parents have been married for donkey years and counting
glory be to God.
You obviously are a product of some deranged wife battering male and probably saw your mother pummelled to the ground like malu constantly.
You have unashamedly told us how you slapped a girl at a bar.
psychotic idiot.

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254174.msg3652498#msg3652498 date=1238177953]Stop being a hypocrite.
Are you trying to say you have never been slapped before??[/quote]Not every woman is in your mother's category.

luvinhubby:
I am not foolish, just practical, have`nt heard of the word, " last straw that broke the camel`s back". Whatever lead to the slap did not start that night.

Hitting is wrong.
In case you don't know there are women who beat up their husbands because they are stronger,do you justify that too?
If a woman "runs her mouth",you run yours or you leave.
That's what normal men do
leave until tension cools.

what if she slapped he back after she got slapped or picked up an object and hit him,would you also say he derved it?

I may be talking to teenagers sef

I tell women all the time to weed off these losers at courtship.
Most of these efulefus can be spotted at the initial times and kicked to the curb.

luvinhubby:
i don`t slap and will NEVER slap my wife as matter of personal principles, but, people get what they deserve, and her threat to terminate the pregnancy shows her mindset. ' Vindictive and Contentious"

You sound very foolish

DeReloaded:
must you reply these people? If they wanna believe that only an UNMARRIED female would be against a wifebeater, that's their business. Giving all these agberos attention

Most of them were raised with barbaric fathers and weak mothers. Why wont they think its ok? Seriously, they're not worth responding to.

I'm just hoping that perhaps one or two of them may be helped because believe it or not,these are the same men that murder their wives in cold blood from Minneapolis to Dallas because she failed to submit adequately.
These same men will marry some woman someday
And the wife could be my relative or yours.
I am appalled

[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=254174.msg3652328#msg3652328 date=1238176000]Are you drunk or just outta your mind.
What peace will reign in a home where a man finds it hard to take a shower, and when "asked" to, he slaps his pregnant wife. Not once, but twice.
What happens next when it becomes hard for her to move around the house and cook for him? Is he going to get more brutal?

What exactly did she do wrong?
The fact that he didn't even apologize to her and continued with his propaganda for three days makes me suspect things.


The rate of shitty men nowadays is just appalling. It's scary.[/quote]and here I've spent 3 years on nairaland defending Nigerian males and stereotypes
This is a disgrace
I now agree that majority of them are useless from what I've read so far

why did they take off the modify button,my spelling mistakes are shameful

@ osisi

I am not just married, but happily married. I have one of the sweetest men anyone cld get as a husband.

@ otukpo,you may be married but you have absolutely no concept of what happiness is.
How could you use the same mouth you use to eat yams and cocoyams and tell your fellow woman to go and apologise to her husband and stop running her mouth in this circumstance.
Is that how "happy" marriage has made you ?
Is that what you do when Chima kicks you in the buttocks for not serving his Oha soup and ponded yam on time?
You need help

Osisi! I am not sure you are married, and if you are, am very sure you would probably have been battered severally by your husband and perhaps sent parking. This may be the reason why you want innocent more passengers on your train.

I would advice the Poster not to get confused. Just do the right thing. You know it.

You are wrong in all counts.
I am very married,happily to a wonderful man that would not lay his hands on me.
He loves me too much to do that.
I make good living.
The home we live in belongs to us so he ain't sending me packing to anywhere in case anything happened.
In the event of divorce (God forbid) the house would be sold ,the procees shared and we go our seperate ways (God forbid )
I believe in submission,love,peace and harmony in the home but whenever a woman's life is in danger,she should not tolerate that nonsense

davidylan:
Dellynash, appologising is the slippery slope to even worse treatment. If you were my sister you would be out of his house as fast as you can.

Appologise now and you have:

a. told him it is ok for him to slap you next time

b. permanently ceded emotional authority over you to him.

Pele o . . . you got a bad husband.

Now the real men are talking!
apologise ko,agbalumo ni

[quote author=too_soon link=topic=254174.msg3651499#msg3651499 date=1238168238]is that an advice? "The man needs to grow up and learn how to be a man."

please advice her and stop beating around the bush.[/quote]Read my earlier posts,I already gave my pieces of advise.
The same thing I'll tell my own sisters

otukpo:
The splapping was not as a result of the woman being 100% dependent on the husband financially. So lets not miss the point. Whether the woman has a better paying job than the husband or not, a husband that will batter will batter.

No body is saying that what the man did was right, slapping the wife was very wrong. But for peace to reign, someone must initiate it. The woman apologising wld not make the man feel that his slapping was right. Afterall, the woman said that the man has always said he wldnt raise a hand on a woman b4 marriage. So he knows that what he did was wrong.

Delly, go and apologise to ur husband for trying to murder him with ur tongue. U wld see that the man is more sorry for what he did than u think. Shebi u said it was this man's niceness made u fall for him. So he can still remain nice. Pray to God for wisdom, because as a woman and a wife, u need it plenty plenty.

please tell me sincerely,are you married?

stillwater:
Osisi, I'm so glad you're here. I saw this topic early this morning and it was really creepy how the husband acted all nice during dating, now he's something else. And then again the most scary part was some of the advice here. He did not only slap, he's also giving her silent treatments. Such wickedness!!!! It's really pathetic!

My sister,it's those of you that are unmarried that I weep for if this is the crowd your husbands may emanate from?
Please take them for psych evaluation and ask hard questions before saying "I do"
[b]my medical asst (an african american) told me that when her husband came to see her parents for the first time before they got married,the man went into his bedroom at some point and brought out a pistol and told in jokingly (but seriously)  that he'll use it if he ever laid hands on his babygirl.[/b]that was because he had a sister that was strangled by her husband.
These things are not to be taken lightly.
Men who kill their wives had all promised to love her at some point.

ferdimako:
I noticed this woman (the poster) is this kind of women that want a man to bring and bring. He brings about the relationship (she mentioned that she was always down with handsome men) and  I guess  when none popped the question, she went for this not-so-good-looking man (her current husband). This man works his ass out every day, comes home to say honey here honey there, no much strength to fukc her like she wants it (may be a sex freak though) and he starts to smell, hence she reminded/reminds him to take a bath. If the man has changed, so does the woman or she never improved at all.You know people who do not do much, always complain of others doing little.Experience from my younger brother!

Marriage and child birth are never a necessity.She can abort and leave this poor man in peace and go for fine-faced guys.

and how did you come to that conclusion and your other little conclusions?
are you seer?
do you sleep under their bed?

unbelievable the things we hear

The poster needs to answer this very small question.
Is this the first time this man has ever hit you?
If the answer is yes,I'll take back some of the things I've said but I'm almost certain,this is not the first time.
He may have also hit her while they were dating.
many of the men defending him here may just be like him.
You all need to change at the sound of my voice
That woman is not a punching bag
she's not the reason your business is not moving and your goods drowned in the high sea
she's there to build with you
don't hit and humuiliate her and rob her of her womanhood
she's somebody's beloved daughter and sister

why are all these males asking her to apologise when she was the one slapped?
apologise to stroke his little fragile ego
nonsense.
The man needs to grow up and learn how to be a man.

niyilawani:
Osisi, don't be a home breaker. A woman being pregnant doesn't giver her right to be disrespectful. The did has been done. What is important now is how to bring peace back to the marriage, and that could be EASILY achieved if the woman apologizes (even if she thinks she's not guilty).

Shut up your mouth.
In what way was she disrespectful?
are you all reading with your anuses?

mactao:
To start with, I believe anyone shouldn't be 100% dependent on the other spouse for money. Maybe your circumstances warrant it, I don't know.

My only advice is this - pray to God to come into your family.

You are so correct.
No woman should depend on any husband for 100% financial support.
That's the no 1 reason women are trapped in abusive relationships.
Today she's been slapped,next time it'll be punches, black eyes,teeth knocked out,acid poured on her face ,she dies of a brief illness.

[quote author=*Hauwa* link=topic=254174.msg3651298#msg3651298 date=1238166595]

i think that's why nigerian men that beat their women don't think 2ice before doing it. if only the cop system is in place. na big trouble even worst because the woman is pregnant. i hope he comes back to his senses and apologize. a woman should be secured in her own home.

na better man with head on his shoulder we dey pray for not the one that will be slapping us up and down, for something like go bath darling (even if it is to keep my bedsheet and comfortable cleaning and smelling nice for long)

poster am sure you aren't looking for musk [/quote]Hauwa open your eyes well well and pray.
Not everyone wearing "trozis" is a man
some of them are walking around looking for some innocent woman to pummel to the ground at any slight provocation.
I remember one neighbour that beat up his wife on a regular basis until she went to her village and finally told her people and her brothers and male cousins returned in a pick up and almost beat Mr Ejinkeonye to death but for neighbors.
That was the last time he touched her.

[quote author=Tinkin_guy link=topic=254174.msg3651259#msg3651259 date=1238166221]@ Poster,

Thank God some ladies here confirmed they are married, if they manage their homes with the advice of don't apologies and find your way out, then there's a problem here.

The man in question may not have the privilege of reading the comments here and as such may not even be adviced by any one.

If and only if young woman you really need advice to better your home, then I can tell you it doesn't matter who initiate the reconciliation process and that it in fact means that person is more matured and understand life beta.

But thats the way life goes, if two people in a relationship decides to prove strong head then why coming together in the first place.

Let me ask you once more @ poster, what s the reason of your posting this thread here
check it again[/quote]In that case she ought to start a conversation asking why he slapped her  and telling him never to lay a hand on her ,ever again.
That's a good place to start.