₦airaland Forum

Misblah:
Mine is 20th October but has still refused to show gender or bump
Btw
Mamas in the house that had uterine fibroids during pregnancy, how did you cope with the pains? I can’t even eat! Can’t do anything! It literally feels like my womb is stretching

Greetings Mama: So sorry you are growing through fibroid pains, it's no joke! Fibroids are vascular tumors with a rich blood supply. Sometimes they outgrow their blood supply and start to degenerate and my Sister, the pain of that one is more than childbirth! I experienced that for my second pregnancy. I ended up in the Emergency Department several times because of it and I did have to take IV pain medications, which thankfully did not affect the baby. If the pain is not too much, one thing that helps is rest. Get off your feet and relax on the sofa or bed once the pain starts. With my fourth pregnancy, my Obstetrician prescribed a muscle relaxant called Flexeril and that worked like a charm, though it made me sleepy. You should also be seeing a specialist to monitor growth of the fibroid. Have you had an ultrasound? Is the uterine fibroid inside or outside the womb?

Underground Railroad on Amazon. Underground from History Channel, from a couple of years ago had a similar premise, which I think I much prefer.

luminouz:
Mama the mama, your maturity as usual is top notch. We need more women like on NL.
Chai...why you no come get younger sister or niece to gimme?

Mr Luminouz, you don come again with your plenty jokes, abi? Anyway, thanks for your kind words but I'm still chasing wisdom everyday like everyone else. May God continue to guide us all....

NB: Sorry I no get younger sister and my nieces (of marriageable age) are all married

I understand where she is coming from. Every woman has her own vision of what her dream wedding will be, but she should also be ready to make compromises since she is not contributing financially to anything. It is selfish and childish of her to insist on her own way to the detriment of her man's finances. It is a rare and loving man that will agree to shoulder 100% of wedding festivities and she should count herself lucky and stop being petulant. I was a post-graduate student when my husband married me. I had a little to contribute but he sponsored the bulk of the wedding. Yes, I wanted a nice wedding but Life After the Wedding Hoopla was more important to me. As a team, we put heads together to figure out ways to cut costs while still making the Day memorable. Back then, I had friends that had broke the bank to have lavish society weddings only to end up with bad credit and a mountain of debt after the wedding and a few of them are even no longer with their spouses. We, on the other hand, ended up having a blast on our wedding day and still managed to remain financially bouyant enough to purchase our dream house soon after.

seguno2:
Is this not the type of story you hear and say Fear Women

One can as well read this story and say, "Fear Men". The point is that anyone is capable of making poor choices or decisions, wether it be a man or woman. Please don't demonize all women and I will try not to demonize all men.

eazzzy1:
How can child bearing be like dying and going to heaven but you have 4 children? You like dying and going to heaven? I think women exaggerate the pain to men just because they know we will never get to experience it.

If men could give birth, we will give birth and 12am and be in the club at 12:30am same day.

That is the mystery of childbirth and the love between a man and a woman. Believe me, women do not exaggerate the pain of childbirth, but once the baby is placed in her arms, that sweet bundle of joy and the deeper love that develops between herself and her partner makes it all worth it.

AyarmBoye:
thanks I really appreciate you ........ God bless ur home

Amen! And yours too....

luminouz:
Nurse Oyin, please lemme know if you're married Biko. I'm available for pickup. No worries o, I am very good gentleman. Just gemme outta this country purhleeaseee!

LOL
Yes o, I am fully married with certificate of four kids.
God will provide your own, just keep hope alive

sokkatua:
Hi fellow Nairalanders, I want to share my story with you. I have been living in Canada for over 20 years, unfortunately, a Nigerian girl whom I love very much broke my heart in 2005, I was disillusioned and almost died from the depression. In 2007, my father, God rest his soul decided to introduce me to his doctor, a fresh graduate of the nation's premier university. I instantly fell in love with her, we would talk for hours, my phone bill was astronomical, unfortunately, in 2008 I was arrested in a caribean country for attempted smuggling. My wife patiently waited for me till I got out in 2012. We got married and had a daughter, but because of my criminal past, I could not sponsor my wife and daughter till 2019, so I had to travel to Nigeria every year to visit them.
To cut the long story short, i spent almost 15K dollars altogether, everything was great in the beginning but then I lost my 60k a year job in 2020 and that was the beginning of the end of my marriage. My wife would leave home for two days claiming she's working overtime, she would cook for my daughter but not for me , we longer communicate in the house, she refuses to contribute anything towards mortgage or bills because according to her, it's man's job to pay for everything even though I m only making minimum wage working as a concierge. A particular guy drops her off every time she goes to work and when i asked her who he is , she went into a tirade questioning my rights to question her.I tolerated her effrontery till three weeks ago when she was boldly telling a guy she loves him right in front of me . I lost my cool and I ended up in jail for 3 days . Right now I m not allowed to go back to the house or contact my daughter whom she now claims is not mine .I have decided to return to Nigeria with the 25k left in my account,i cant go back to prison again because prisoners often targets anyone accused of harming a woman or a child. I'm appealing to anyone to please hook me up with a job or any hustle in Nigeria.

Haaaaa! This narrative gave me goosebumps. As a woman I cannot even imagine a married woman having the boldness to make declarations of love to another man in the presence of her husband. She no dey fear? If she no fear her husband, she for fear his 'eleda'. What she did will provoke any man, with blood in his veins BUT at the same time there is absolutely, irrevocably, and zero percent excuse for domestic violence so, Oga, you no try at all.
I cannot speculate as to whether she ever loved you but from this story it is obvious that she does not currently love you. Most women cannot love a man they do not respect and she no longer has respect for you. Marriage is a mystery so nobody here can tell you wether or not to divorce her but I will advice you to separate from her for now, until tempers calm down for the sake of sanctity and safety.

AyarmBoye:
i have a silly question,, a pregnant woman (about 2 months) while cleaning up sees blood stain, no cramps, no ache or abdominal pain..... is dat a miscarriage?

First of all, absolutely no question is silly and a blood stain or spotting during pregnancy can be alarming but it is fairly common. Spotting could be red, pink or brown and could occur at any stage during pregnancy. Usually when such spotting is accompanied by abdominal or back pain, cramps, fever or if bleeding becomes profuse, should be reported immediately to your healthcare provider. However, understand that a majority of spotting is benign. The cervix is undergoing a lot of changes die to pregnancy hormones and activities like sexual contact, cervical exam or physical exertion can cause said spotting. It does not necessarily indicate impending or ongoing miscarriage but pls seek medical assistance if in doubt. It is always better to err on the side of caution where pregnancy is concerned. Best wishes!

chatinent:
So, this is a question for both wives and husbands (not girlfriend and boyfriends, please).


What was it like after pregnancy?

Pertaining to stress, responsibility, gender roles, and finance.


Thanks for your time.

Having a baby, I mean the actual act of putting to bed is like you died, went to heaven and came back. I just had my fourth and had to be put to sleep (General Anesthesia) to have the CS because the clueless Anesthesiologist tried, unsuccessfully, for 2 hours to get an epidural in. It was like I died and came back, very surreal. Family dynamics of having one more child will be different and the mother, the dad, the couple as a unit, and the family as a whole will have to work through all of that to find a new equilibrium at the end of the tunnel. So no hard and fast rule about gender roles. There will be some things like breast-feeding that only the mom can do ( unless she expresses her milk through pumping, in which case the dad can bottle-feed the baby breast milk if mom is resting) but things like diaper change, kangaroo care etc are all fair game. If extended family is there to pitch in, that's good, and if not all is not lost. All hands have to be on deck and the entire family must show each other grace and patience because it is a period of adjustment.

I don't agree. If a woman disregards or takes for granted the sincere love from a good man, then she is hurting or broken. No one is perfect and not everyone comes from a perfect past. However, it is the duty of every hurting/broken woman to take steps to find healing and become whole again emotionally before moving to next relationship otherwise it won't work. When you find a woman who is emotionally whole, you can feel free to shower her with affection and love her to the moon and back; I assure you that she will receive it with grace...

Efiko

Am I missing something? What's the logic behind getting her pregnant first before marriage? I mean if you are both committed, why not make plans to, legally, start your lives together?

Abeg that respect mumu button only works if the dude loves you in the first place. If he doesn't he will just throw that respect back on your face after he spit on you on the way out. If a man truly loves you , you will always have access to his mumu button no matter what. And it's always a good idea to respect the man who actually loves you.