₦airaland Forum

bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here

i understand ur plight.imagine u guys are close and this kinda thing is happening.mine was a distant relationship and this is one of the messages i got sometimes ago that got me scared.i ensure to humble her sha due to some of the same attitude u posted about ur girl, but was still scared to settle down with her.i jus jejeli use style run comot by giving her people hard to accept request of paying dowry now then later in the year do the other aspect of the marriage.they said No and that was it.at a time it became obvious the relationship was jus to satisfy our families cos we are very close family friends.i had to ask myself if it was a good decision to because of family settle down while there are lots of concerns abt the relationship.

Thank God for the internet.one can now search for the truth without depending on only CNN or BBC

SarkinYarki:
The solution to all this is to allow Russia join NATO but then the aim of NATO will be defeated

Russia wanted to join i think in early 2000 but they didn't allow meaning so call NATO was created to gradually annihilate Russia.

NigeriaNawa:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT46luZeOXc&t=121s



https://ua.interfax.com.ua/news/general/810166.html

nawao. This Video was uploaded 8yr ago on YouTube

Michelle70:
they have some killer shape but they are not finer than the ones outside, zoom in and look at their faces, they are fugly

hehehe

Comradewhy:
And where in that article did he directly say Ukraine won't be joining NATO?

at this juncture, i cannot be of help.

Comradewhy:
It doesn't counter my Statement.
That's just a picture,a Link is what I need.

Volodymyr Zelensky says 'can discuss the future of Crimea and Donbas with Russia'


https://www.wionews.com/world/volodymyr-zelensky-says-can-discuss-the-future-of-crimea-and-donbas-with-russia-460593


Download the Wion News App now:
http://onelink.to/jksrch


-Shared via WION

Are we cool now??

Comradewhy:
I thought you was going to prove me wrong by supporting that statement?

i will freely help u with it since i feel u don't want to download ot urself

Comradewhy:
A picture without any link attached is what you call source?
That picture didn't say anything about Ukraine not joining NATO later on or after the war.

u can see thats a screenshot of the media

Comradewhy:
A picture without any link attached is what you call source?
That picture didn't say anything about Ukraine not joining NATO later on or after the war.

download wion on play store.its an india media station and there report is balance

Comradewhy:
You think?
No proof.

that was why i posted the source.
The annexed part is what Ukraine dont want want to give out to Russia.
My guy Western media isnt doing balance reporting.
Have u seen anywhere the US gave the number of Ukrainian military guys that died in the war But they already got statistic of 5000-6000 Russian troops that have died in the war.
Reason i use other media that is neither pro Russia or pro EU/USA along side the usual bbc n ccn

Comradewhy:
And who told you Ukraine won't be able to join NATO?
Or who told you Russia invasion will stop Ukraine from joining NATO?
You are comparing Nigeria civil war to an illegal invasion?

Nigeria was already split then the war started., Biafra nation was once there.pls where is this nonsense coming from?
Your mouth?
Hell no.

i think Ukraine has agreed to Russia demand of not joining NATO.the other demands by Russia like allowing crimea , Doneski and other region in hand of separatist to be a republic is what Ukraine dont want that kept the war going on.

Odewaleadesoye:
Thank God it wasn't Lagos to Ibadan Airline

Let me just keep quite.

lol

Zonefree:
Like he came back to tell us about Ukraine and Russia war

What happened to Yoruba Nation?

lol

qekng40:
Putin just smiled!

lol

Manolo213:
It's a skit....I follow him on Facebook.

the way the elderly women allowed him to remove the cloth, that was when i realize it was likely a skit

Frankiss44:
And what is to ur eastern media showing u? That Russia is having it all rosy right?

am the type that lik balance reporting and i know it when i see one.reason i source for neutral Media house along side the western media

Frankiss44:
You are a poor student of international politics.. Ukraine is a bait Russia fell for.. It can never be buried.. Know this and know peace.. Putin will settle for negotiations and he will negotiate from a weak angle after being cornered

the heat is much on Ukraine already.western media only show ppl the quantity of information they want them to be aware off

9182736455O1999:
Till september 9?
Be like say the invasion go enter next year o

more like they test run this model during the corona period when people where ask to be indoors except the essential workers .i remembered most economy where almost shutdown then

Favfables1:
First off...
That girl has absolutely NO LOYALTY ....
So with all the vows she took on the altar (the vows surrounding marriage generally), she plans on breaking them without any consideration for the feelings of the man? What rubbish!?!

Secondly...
It'll be an act of wickedness if you agree to her request...
Leave married people alone!
You wouldn't want any man to sleep with your woman, after all the resources you've spent on the wedding alone, not to talk of the ones you spent in the course of dating/courting her ...

So I urge you to pass...
You're not that cheap that she can ring up at any time to come and satisfy her, are you?
The reason why she left you initially is because she probably thought that, her hubby was better than you, that's the hard truth man... make her regret that decision by depriving her of your prizes organ ...

Let her stick to the man she choose over you ...

Weldon Sir.i like the angle you addressed the issue

Nemesis0147:
This tomato na at least 7h for here!

they r relatively cheap in kebbi now.bought the one worth 700 yesterday and the stew i made from it was about 3L yesterday.
When it becomes expensive same quantity of stew can go for 1500 or 2k

DCONE1:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ukraine-president-attacks-weak-nato-26392251.amp

An inexperience politician wan use mind game drag big guys into the war. NATO is more experience to fall for that kind of game.
A Lawyer trying to use his acquired language skills to drag others into a very complex war that can consume the world

Everyone dey try thread carefully cos they dont know what Putin got in mind in this war

LILTJAY1:
I did my research and I noticed Russia is the only European country with enormous diversity with 180 ethnic groups. Even at that the Russians - the largest ethnic group makeup 83 percent. Why can't we copy Europe? Why are African descendants this way? Why do we take simple things hard? In Germany, the germans makeup 92 percent of Germany's population while the remaining are minorities and immigrants( blacks, turkish e.t.c.)

Even from Putin address to i think UN today , they got 300different ethnic group

ChangetheChange:
The shameless and confused Putin has seen he has miscalculated, he is now looking for ways to renegotiate with United States and NATO, and pull out of Ukraine, but shame and pride no let am.

are u sure it isnt USA disturbing him with calls.
They should jus fast track the peace deal .
The Ukrainian president shouldn't have allowed anyone pushed him to decisions that can lead to war.

Svlla:


Scrap iron asin aluminum condemn

How many kilos?

Where are my northern brothers

100naira per kilo

What a country.
If he doesn't carry the plate of food one oga somewhere will punish him and now that he did, another set of ppl want to punish him.
Things like this happens when there is no standard.

Karnice600:
That's not true. Don't twist the narrative. The US made a naval blockade around Cuba. The Russian military couldn't go in. They engaged Russia one on one, not Cuba.

let me look for the link and forward.

https://history.state.gov/milestones/1961-1968/cuban-missile-crisis

Lightorder:
you think everyone is a coward and jokes with everything

hmmm

Gospel2Day:
When Russia mounted nuclear weapons in Cuba did USA invade Cuba?
Has USA dictated to and demanded that Cuba MUST NOT join Communist alliance?
So the two situations are not comparable?
The truth is that Russia CANNOT defeat NATO.
It is not possible. He does not value the lives of Russians that will be wasted and roasted in the event of a nuclear war with NATO.
It is a sensible fear, if NATO does not want to start a war with Russia. It shows that they value the lives of their citizens.
Let Putin push NATO to the wall first, then you will understand that nobody has a monopoly of violence and madness.

i need u to read the documentary on the cuban missile . USA made attempt to strike Cuba.in return for USSR to dismantle the missile USA needed to dismantle its own Jupiter missile it mounted in Turkey.