₦airaland Forum

Some Africans are plagued with a high degree of inferiority

I thot all the hot guys were in hell?

Looks very GAY 2 Me

Please stop all this rancour and bile spilling..It is a reconnaissance drone and not an armed drone. We must crawl before walking. This is a step towards greater things. All Hail Team GULMA!!

What a mess

Owu na bastard. I swear!

So what do we do next. Now that we know??

It's all media hype. The west is thankful because he secured their investments in south African corporations. Most westerners including the royal families were initially afraid that their investments would be appropriated under black rule in SA. Mandela did the opposite. That's is the underlying reason for celebration.

shigo slim: If biafran go Nigeria 'll continue to exist nothing we happen. Forget maybe Nigeria disintegrate the south-west we be with the south-south and north. The igbo think they can conquered the oil region they should forget it.

Igbo are too triabalism and not tolerance in religion. If they go u 'll still find in other region, what is the excess of your biafran when you can stay there and developed it.

Igbo you ppl better change your attitude n contribute to development of this country.

Can someone help me translate this gibberish to english? Thanks.

Please ensure you quote the source next time..... http://www.dailytimes.com.ng/opinion/how-worship-nigerian-god

Naijamericana: The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god.

This article is for all those who want to become better worshippers. If you are a new or prospective convert, God will bless you for choosing the Nigerian god. This is just how you must worship him.

First, you must understand that being a worshipper has nothing to do with character, good works or righteousness. So the fact that you choose to open every meeting with multiple prayers does not mean that you intend to do what is right. The opening prayer is important. Nothing can work without it. If you are gathered to discuss how to inflate contracts, begin with an opening prayer or two. If you are gathered to discuss how to rig elections, begin with a prayer. The Nigerian god appreciates communication.

When you sneak away from your wife to call your girlfriend in the bathroom, and she asks if you will come this weekend, you must say—in addition to “Yes”—“By God’s grace” or “God willing”. It doesn’t matter the language you use. Just add it. The Nigerian god likes to be consulted before you do anything, including a trip to Obudu to see your lover.

When worshipping the Nigerian god, be loud. No, the Nigerian god is not hard of hearing. It is just that he appreciates your loud fervour, like he appreciates loud raucous music. The Nigerian god doesn’t care if you have neighbours and neither should you. When you are worshipping in your house, make sure the neighbours can’t sleep. Use loud speakers even if you are only two in the building. Anyone who complains must be evil. God will judge such a person.

Attribute everything to the Nigerian god. So, if you diverted funds from public projects and are able to afford that Phantom, when people say you have a nice car, say, “Na God”. If someone asks what the secret of all your wealth is, say, “God has been good to me”. By this you mean the Nigerian god who gave you the uncommon wisdom to re-appropriate public funds.

Consult the Nigerian god when you don’t feel like working. The Nigerian god understands that we live in a harsh climate where it is hard to do any real work. So, if you have no clue how to be in charge and things start collapsing, ask people to pray to God and ask for his intervention.

The Nigerian god loves elections and politics. When you have bribed people to get the Party nomination, used thugs to steal and stuff ballot boxes, intimidated people into either sitting at home or voting for you, lied about everything from your assets to your age, and you eventually, (through God’s grace), win the elections, you must begin by declaring that your success is the wish of God and that the other candidate should accept this will of God. It is not your fault whom the Nigerian god chooses to reward with political success. How can mere mortals complain?

The Nigerian god does not tolerate disrespect. If someone insults your religion, you must look for anyone like them and kill them. Doesn’t matter what you use—sticks, machetes, grenade launchers, IED’s, AK47’s.

The Nigerian god performs signs and wonders. He does everything from cure HIV to High BP. And the Nigerian god is creative: he can teach a person who was born blind the difference between blue and green when the man of god asks, and he can teach a person born deaf instant English. As a worshipper you must let him deliver you because every case of sickness is caused by evil demons and not infections. Every case of barrenness is caused by witches and has no scientific explanation. So instead of hospital, visit agents of the Nigerian god. But the Nigerian god does not cure corruption. Do not attempt to mock him.

If you worship the Nigerian god, you are under no obligation to be nice or kind to people who are not worshippers. They deserve no courtesy.

The Nigerian god is also online. As a worshipper, you are not obliged to be good or decent on Facebook or twitter all week except on Friday and Sunday, both of which the Nigerian god marks as holy. So you may forward obscene photos, insult people, forward lewd jokes on all days except the holy days. On those holy days, whichever applies to you, put up statuses saying how much you are crazy about God.

Most Photo Editing Apps will do this with the "Watermark Function". Why is the black race so gullible. This is just a traffic seeking strategy. I hope they get thier seats filled as they wish. A sucker is born every minute!!

How useful is this information?

I guess u didnt attend church today

Most young men with extra cash to spare always find themselves in this vortex (I know some hypocrites will deny this).The most common antidote is a very bitter and bad experience. I pray i doesnt get to that. Look for another hobby to replace it. E.g Cinemas, Book Club, Coding, Animation etc.

Front Page Material..but I guess a lot of us are intellectually lazy..So it has been relegated beneath the sands of Nairaland time

so what is the benefit?

Who has Funke Akindele's Number?

The most denied fact in the whole world is the fact that all men have the potential to cheat.
You may never know how vulnerable you are till you meet your Delilah. I met mine in the most unexpected of places. Sometime your safe haven may be your eden.

Will you take 12M cash down...?

Another chapter closes

Lions in Kaduna. How preposterous!

Omen100: You are too short in knowledge to comprehend what the Prof is talking about.

So explain to him "tall man"

here: I wasnt there but I have tried to look at that listing,the ANC and PAC both banned in 1960 had their armed youth wing.
The ANC were alittle more cordianted and elightened that even when they were banned made their promising members go abroad not just on exile but to study,check Mbeki and not just any kind of study like one economist enroling for African studies at masters.
Do you know how organised they were? They had root in most African countries and before you blame those who listed them consider that their intentions were not fully accepted by even some African countries that once Zuma was to be deported from Swaziland;except for Obasanjo who received them but no account of them operating a base here maybe he didnt allow that.
Lastly like every group that has emerged the world power has always looked at them with both eyes because they could fall into the wrong hands,do you know some believed Castro had links to him,you know how that can be classified but the consolation is when Scotland campaign for his release started notice how many mayors signed asking he be released.
Know I have not made my points but consider Charles de
Gaulle of France how was looked at as only interested in affairs of his people,Stalin was even given better corporation than him,if he were to be from Africa and had an armed group under his party,trust me he would have been classified.

GIBBERISH POO

This story is questionable. Since when did benue people start bearing Alhaji Ganiyu Kolawole for name?

Now I know who stole the MTN banner @ my Junction

Who cares..by the way..How do I install BBM on my Nokia 3310?

No Not All. Afterall U Eat What is Underneath the Undies Too.
Dont U Wash your Plates After Meals?

The only form of gainful employment 95% of Nigerian Girls can boat of is "CarryGo"

Empty Drum. I dont blame him. I blame the Junk Press of the Likes of Linda I. Who keep overhyping wannabes as long as they can pay N50K into her account. God help this generation!!

Picture Please. So That We Can Identify Her if We Meet Her...Wait a Minute...What Did I Jusy Say?

What is wrong with two people sleeping together? Its only a problem if they have unapproved sox.
The question is who is the approving authority?

Oga Parenchyma
Oga Piccolo
Oga Vampire
Sergeant Pito
Oga Lie Down
Corporal Nemesis