₦airaland Forum

Chai! E be like say Bidexii don get trademark for all this him photo now o.

Small time now den go announce say all Bidexii war picture don become Pay-Per-View, say time of awoof spectator don pass.

Person when know say hin no ready to pay, na him be say hin no ready to look picture here.

obi4eze:
1. Deziani
2. Mrs Deziani Allison-Madueke
3. The Present Minister of Petroleum

She must go to jail whether she likes it or not and vomit everything she stole. How can a woman who earns a lot from Shell as gratuity/pension still be so greedy to ra. pe the oil sector?

It is a known zoological fact that individuals whose eyes bulge like those of a frog, or protrude like those of an insect, are BORN greedy, and will INSTANTLY and compulsively steal everything that is not bolted down, if given half a chance.

Mrs. Frog-Eye Allison Madueke's tell-tale frog-eye countenance was sadly overlooked at the time she was assigned a ministerial position at the federal level in the outgoing Nigerian administration. There, true to that innate and inherent inclination towards instinctual kleptomania, Mrs. Frog Eye Madueke came, saw and grabbed in a wholesale manner ALL that she was able to embezzle in her past role as head looter, in charge of Nigeria's perennial cash cow- the petroleum ministry.

In the prodigal season of pointless waste that came to characterize the reign of Queen Frog Eye Madueke, the Nigerian electorate was treated to online picture albums showing Frog Eye Madueke and her obese relatives quaffing champagne aboard private jets regularly chartered at rates 100-fold the cost of first-class air tickets on the same commercial travel routes, all at the expense of Nigeria's national treasury.

Now comes the time for pay-back, which is ALWAYS a muffukuh, for the payer. Frog Eye Madueke has amassed and stashed in her hidden bank accounts located within Nigeria, around Africa and in the Middle East, TONS of stolen hard currency that she needs to pay back NOW, in order to merit the sympathy of the court in her upcoming trial for theft. A few months or years in a Nigerian jail for females will go a long way to jogging the memory of Frog Eye Madueke, regarding the location and details of ALL her loot-stash bank accounts opened around the world over the past few years.

Some more badasz muffugus saddled up and ready to ride into battle against them virgin hunters.

Give 'em HELL fellas. Pound that ground. Give no quarter. Take no prisoners. Jellyfish all of their dead. Kill them as they flee.


Lastly, when in doubt, light all them muffugus up, and let God sort out their souls.

cold:
Deziani just give Buhari 'something' to calm his frayed nerves. Otherwise this will not end well for you o! I don talk my own finish.

Yes o, Mrs. Frog Eye Madueke, please inform the judiciary about the specific wrist-size of handcuffs that will be fitted for you by court bailiffs after the verdict of 25 years in jail is handed down in justly earned reward of your industrial-scale theft of government cash.

Thank you for your cooperation, Mrs. Frog Eye. Your routine beatings while in jail will be kept to a minimum, IF this spirit of cooperation is followed by you over the coming months and years as you serve your imposed custodial sentence with hard labor.

Look you dis ugly winsh, ol'mama Mrs Frog Eye Madueke. Upon how you old reach, shame no kukuma catch you to justo take dat teef matter like work, aaaaaall that time when dem mistake go give you minister work for Jonathan gofment.

Nobody get time to read ya dissertation here now o, and den nogo read am for court when ya case don enter calendar for criminal trial matter.

God so kind, na from that court dem go lock hankoff KPAM for ya ugly teef-teef hand, come carry you gbudu-gbudu STRAIGHT, throway put for jail, GBOSAAAA, together with all ya biggi-belle family when been dey follow you parade and pose for inside private jet, as unu dey take style pack Nigerian money go hide am for oversea. Small time now, you go vomit ALL Nigerian money when you teef, wey e be say kobo like this nogo remain for ya teef account for Nigeria and for oversea all.

The only advise when I get for you be say make you no begin dey halla say you no do am o, after when dem don sentence you finish, because Cell-President and Cell-Sargent all don kukuma hate over-sabi over-greediness gofment teef people like you before, and dem fit go take fess kill you on arrival, if you no shut dat ya mouth after sentence don land GBIIII for on top dat ya ugly bonga-head.

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
@papi wata, i am really feeling your gym apparatus. I usually tell people that it is not how beautiful your dumbbells or barbells is but how beautiful they make ur muscles become, that is what matters. Won't the casting of the barbells crack overtime?

Oga Pristine thanks for your comments on my jungle gym. Those concrete weights were made many many years ago, and there are no cracks at all. Of course they are never dropped when I use them, so there is never any impact. I posted the picture to show that, just as you say, there is no need to spend a lot of money on fancy equipment, or expensive health club membership, to stay fit. Those crude items have served me very well over the years, and I intend to use them for many more years to come.

I think they both look very stylish in their ISIS-Orange jumpsuits and matching bracelets, BUT only ONE of those suspects is guilty of industrial scale embezzlement deserving of a fair trial followed by jail and international asset forfeiture.

To guess which one of the two above suspects is the REAL guilty party, think Frog Eyes, and the puzzle will solve itself.

[size=14pt] Jail the Frog Eye PLEASE, and do so NOW. [/size]

For Nairaland readers who grew up in Europe and America, please note that the African tradition of literally "leading" a guest by the hand must NOT be taken as an indication that either man is anything but a lifetime heterosexual, who loves his women and wouldn't have it any other way.

New visitors to Nigeria from the West are often taken aback by the spectacle of grown men strolling hand-in-hand, but when the visitors come to realize that such hand-holding is little more than a socially acceptable "extended handshake of welcome" offered to respected guests of either gender, then the novelty of that initially unsettling gesture wears off.

The foregoing picture of the outgoing Nigerian president briefly holding the hand of his narrowly-elected successor illustrates beautifully the friendly, cooperative and informal nature of the camaraderie that has evolved between the two political gladiators - Johnathan and Buhari, as the last keenly contested election ran its historic course, inexorably, peacefully and yes, fortuitously, like the mighty River Niger.

Johnny is da man, and of this there can be no doubt.

As the coming years unfold, the Nigerian electorate will rue the day that they participated in a rigged election that got rid of Johnny and brought in another Pellow Kwantiri-man protector of the decades-old apartheid system that saw a few key northern usurpers stealing all the oil wealth from the Niger Delta, while the rest of the nation wallowed in neglect and squalor.

Now Jonathan Goodluck can settle down to make some serious money as a paid speaker all over the world, and as the author of a best-selling memoir.

I tip my hat to ya Johnny. You did your best and accomplished a lot, but a hoodwinked electorate voted for regression, stagnation, oppression and poverty, as they will soon find out.

iguita:
It's so difficult to trust in this country. Exactly two weeks ago, i was in the same situaton. My car broke down at ilupeju traffic light around 10pm. I wave people down taya. Between 10pm and 12 midnight that I left the spot, only two people pulled over to assist. Unfortunately, none of them could help. I had to leave the car there overnight

Ha ha ha well next time your car breaks down buy a dress and wig, then put them on, not forgetting some lipstick to complete the illusion.

raayah:
Not everyone has bad intentions, maybe he really wanted to help her out.

Hey I never described that man's intention to seek a road-side reward of carnal knowledge as being bad or negative in any way.


Generally speaking, the pursuit of ALL knowledge is inherently GOOD, but one must never allow that tiny lower lizard brain to dominate the larger and more capable faculties located in one's head, as this man will now be able to testify.

Hopefully the man will have enough time to think up a good story to tell his wife at home. about how the family car went missing.

E get as e be.

Obviously that gentleman was expecting to mount and feverishly hump some fresh puszy as his reward for changing the tire on the car of a sexy damsel in distress, but he wound up looking into the business end of a pistol, then losing his car forever.

Having learnt his lesson, it is certain that the foolish victim will ONLY engage his upper cranial brain, and not his tiny lower trouser-trout brain, next time he spots some fresh puszy within pekker range.

hadura29:
.


Ich bin in Nigeria... Und du?

Spekken zie broken ?

To get lean and mean as a junk-yard dog, it is essential that my weights must be sourced from the junkyard, and the rustier the better.

Check out this family group photograph of my ultra-modern, high-tech Aba-Made weight collection. The bench press is made from car rims filled with concrete, which adds up to about 200 pounds, and another copy of that same weight is used for my squat rack, not shown in this picture.

The dumbells are fabricated from scrap-yard cylindrical iron chunks drilled and fitted with half-inch bar, welded in place for handles. I like them far better than standard purchased dumbells because when doing dumbell presses on the bench, I can drop mine lower, for deeper range of motion. The barbells are made from car engine flywheels, matched for balanced weight on each side. All I need for all my weight regime is right there in this picture, with the exception of the squat stand.

No over-priced gym for is going to make a dime off this iron-pumper, and so it shalt come to pass ha ha.

In the fullness of time, as historians cast their studied gaze back over the tumultuous political history of the nation called Nigeria, President Jonathan Goodluck will come to be recognized as one of the greatest statesmen and champions of democracy ever to ascend the pinnacle seat of power ANYWHERE on the African continent.

As pointed out in the above write-up, Jonathan's steadfast refusal to exploit the evident procedural defects of the recent elections as an excuse to postpone or discredit the polls, capped off with the swift congratulatory phone call placed by Jonathan to the presumed victor of the presidential election, EVEN BEFORE the final votes had been counted, were wise and humble preemptive actions that saved COUNTLESS lives by maintaining peace, while significantly boosting the sterling democratic credentials of the man Jonathan Goodluck in the eyes of the world, to a far greater degree than would have been possible in the context of just about any other scenario that could have unfolded subsequent to Nigeria's 2015 presidential election.

Jonathan Goodluck - A modern African hero of TRUE democracy, and one of Africa's future Ambassadors of Peace. I salute and hail the man.

May Mother Africa be blessed with more iconic champions of justice, peace and TRUE democracy, in the caliber of Jonathan Goodluck.

ab1x:
I had to prevent guys from doing jungle justice on them. Here is the picture when police and vigilante were taken them away

You deserve praise for preventing the lynch mob killing of those suspects, even though they may indeed have intended to commit cold-blooded murder and ritual sacrifice for imaginary benefit to nobody.

Any person or nation that aspires to the status of being civilized MUST respect the criminal justice system as defined by the rule of law. Even if the men caught in THIS instance were almost certainly guilty of attempted kidnap, your BRAVE and HONORABLE insistence that the police handle the matter, even as a mob murder was being planned before your eyes, is the hallmark of a GOOD person of strong conscience, who is fully aware that "jungle justice" means NO justice for ALL, both guilty and innocent.


And yet, despite fully respecting the rule of law thus far, I ponder what my reaction would be if one day, as I stalk the African wilderness with my hunting weapon as I have done for years, I were to find myself a hidden silent witness to kidnappers actively preparing a victim for a grisly ritual murder. Would I retreat quietly and phone the police, or would I scan target positions and commence firing ? I really don't know, for now. I do not know.

[size=14pt] Provided that it is fresh beaver you are eating in your dream, God will not be offended, because God approves of cunnilingus and all other spoken languages. [/size]

wallex1983:
Ok. Oya, NDLEA should keep watch at the gate. No entry, no exit. Monday iڪ enough time to change to a bird, except if the witchdoctor isn't powerful. The guy go just fly comot, on top shit for dem masked head.

Alrite, legs crossed, siddon look!

The drug baron has the money to have constructed an underground escape tunnel like the one Ghadaffi used in Libya, through which the fugitive could sneak out and emerge in a building nearby that is NOT under guard. The floors of the drug baron's house need to be inspected VERY carefully to determine if there are any hidden trap doors under the carpeting, or even under a washing machine that could have been engineered to swing away at the touch of a hidden button.

Chai Dat frog eye woman dey ugly no be small ting.

light004:
Allegations without substance will amount to nothing. If you rely only on the media for your source of information then you are in for a big shit.
Whatever the allegations might be the court of law has the final say. Comments on social media will remain what they are hearsay, allegations, speculations,etc without substance and of no effect. i don't wait time on such

No forovlen, Megida. Baa magana.

Frog Eye Madueke WILL get her day in court, followed by her duly earned years in the slammer on charges relating to the industrial scale embezzlement of state funds perpetrated by that nasty kleptomaniac woman.

You can visit her ugly asz there in that dark cage after sentencing, to let her know how sorry you feel for her.

bettercreature:
This is totally wrong,I can't understand why we can not sentence him here,this is witch hunt at the highest level,America will never extradict her citizen to another country beside this is bread winner of one family

One family's "bread winner" is another country's death-drug importer. Let his family join him on this long overdue vacation to the Big House in America, if they are so worried about their obese death-dealing "bread winner".

Everybody LOVES America, so let us encourage convicted drug runner Kashamu to embrace that love while he is jail in America, sharing intimate cell accommodations with a very big fella named Bubba, who will welcome Kashamu with open arms.

light004:
The media obviously take Nigerians for a ride. This is pure junk journalism. Nigerians love sensational stories, if you can't get one please manufacture one A flight has a scheduled time for departure and sits are allocated prior to departure when booking has been confirmed. Just some few questions would have condemn this useless write up to the bin where it belongs.

First- what was the reason why she was running on the tarmac? was she late for the flight or if it was for buhari to sit close to him. Note the sitting arrangements are pre-determined. Buhari is only the president not a military head of states and there is a huge gap in between. We truly need education and my advise is don't wait for anyone to educate you please go out there and educate your self.

Ok ok try to calm down and stop the hysterics . Frog Eye Madueke is a vain and greedy kleptomaniac who is LONG overdue to spend some decades behind bars, at the pleasure of the government. Please don't deny Frog Eye her just reward for all that embezzlement and deliberate wastage of state funds on private jet charters flying routes served by major airlines. Frog Eye Madueke WILL remember where all that stolen money is hidden, once she has spent an adequate time to reflect in jail, under lock and key where she belongs until hell freezes over.

Every Naija man dey pray to come live for America, but this man Kashamu dey reject all invitation when den dey serva am say make he come tanda for America prison.

Why he dey run now ? No be that America, wey everybody dey target to go, den say make Kashamu come enjoy ?

Chai ! Monkey no fine, but him mama love am.

Is the breaking news that you just broke wind ? If so, congratulations on that laudable accomplishment.

wristwatch:
Lmao.

Later d frog eyed thief will deny she never run after the president elect.

Mad woman.

This is kind of news I want to see after six months of buhari sworn in


2. Minister of finance and petroleum sentence to 50 years imprisonment

[size=14pt]Oh yeah. Wristwatch he da MAN ! Wristwatch he be knowin' what time it is.

Say what ? You be askin' what time it is ?

Well listen up, because 18 muffukin years is what time she gon' serve up da river in da BIG HOUSE.

That's what time it is ha ha ha. [/size]

[size=14pt] All in favor of Frog-Eye Madueke spending the next 20 years in embezzler's jail, please indicate in the affirmative with the frog-cry rrrrribbitt ! [/size]

donphilopus:
Who posted this comment?! The supposed poster can never say such, so, I doubt if he was the one!

Ha ha some old geezer needs a new pair of glasses, urgently.

Frog-eye Madueke can RUN, but she cannot hide from INTERPOL, neither can she hide her millions of stolen money from INTERPOL.


Take down that nasty frog eye monkey ho' NOW !

[size=16pt]Jail the ugly-asz frog eye kleptomaniac woman NOW, and order INTERPOL to freeze all her bank accounts, whether they are stashed in the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, Luxemburg, Dubai or Hong Kong. Bring down the frog eye monkey woman NOW ! [/size]

Looks like a suicide for sure. Good thing he did not make that final trip with a load of passengers, because they would ALL have been sleeping with the fishes by now.