₦airaland Forum

Ultimately, the "Sudan Solution" will be applied to Nigeria. Let the Izon, the Itshekiri, the Urhobo, the Ogoni and the Ilaje enjoy in full measure the crude oil that lies under the soil of their ancestors, leaving the rest of the nation to look inward for their own resources to sustain the new countries that will devolve when drunken Lord Lugard's failed experiment at tribal unity is finally flushed down the toilet of history.

The west of Nigeria can reap handsomely from its bumper cocoa harvests, in its revived role as an agricultural breadbasket. The north, with its 100 zillion imaginary occupants, can certainly thrive on her legendary groundnut pyramids as it did before crude oil was discovered in the far away Niger Delta, and the East whose inhabitants rank among the most academically brilliant on Planet Earth, can become the Silicon Valley of Africa, where technological innovation creates wealth on a scale never before imagined.

There is nothing wrong with going separate ways for all the ill-fitting pieces of Nigeria's current jigsaw puzzle. Let it go. Just let it go, y'all.

ZKOSOSO:
Let's drift the argument a bit towards the contribution of each state to the federation account. [size=16pt] The North virtually contributes nothing. Absolute ZERO. Just a giant parasite of ingrate magnitude.[/size]

It's painful when u see how the leadership of the country is tilted to empower only the hausafulanis. Checkout the nos of reps in non hausafulani part of the North. It's made to be so smaller that keep them as slave or puns in their chess game of politics.

The country needs to be dissolved.
I pray it happen in my lifetime.

This is the elephant sitting in the corner of the room, which everyone is trying DESPERATELY to ignore.

pazeinza:
PDP is zonning the presidency back to the North in 2019, deal with that

Born to Rule until the year 5,000 AD yowaaa !

pazeinza:
The life of a street dog is much more valuable than yours. The North owns Nigeria, PDP is zonning the presidency back to the North in 2019- thats the Hardcore truth

Ha ha wait a minute. Isn't the chit "zoned" already, for the Born to Rule ?

barcanista:
Who drafted the constitution? Was it divinely given to us by God?

God keeps very busy in Nigeria, perhaps because there is a place of worship every ten steps on any Nigerian street you care to mention.

God help you if you need to buy a meal in Nigeria, since eating establishments are outnumbered 10,000 to one by places of worship there, BUT, if you don't mind worshiping on an empty stomach, Nigeria will not let you down.

Mynd44:
This is not right.
I can see you are back to the old ways or whipping up tribal sentiments as was exposed yesterday. Now let me help you out.

What is the population of Kano?
What is the population of Lagos?
Now what is the population of the most populous state in the SE?

If a state has a population of say 10 million l, how can you expect that state not to have more representatives than a state with a population of 3million?

Population figures have been manipulated for political gain for a very long time in Nigeria, so such figures are dubious at best.

Pictures of minors lined up to vote in un-named parts of Nigeria are fresh in the memory of observers, as are the vastly inflated "vote counts" derived from those creative methods.

pazeinza:
It is too early to cry. By 2019, the PDP, you party will certainly zone the presidency back to the North. The North owns Nigeria

As in Born-To-Rule ? I anticipate that there will be some responses to your postulation here, especially since this concept appears to have some new relevance in light of the recent presidential election results.

barcanista:
If there was a divine ordainment somewhere the framers of our constitution should let us know so that other ethnic groups can solicit for their own share of the ordainment

Ha ha ha for some reason I am reminded of the old saying : "Your arms are too short to box with God".

I was going to suggest that perhaps some tribes in Nigeria are ordained by God to be "more equal than others", but decided not to make that comment since it is evident our man Barcan is NOT in a joking mood, going by his above listed observations.

Dang, Tinubu has extremely poor taste in woman, to be getting all worked up over the sight of an OLD woman's heavily fortified cleavage that would droop, sag and dangle down to her waist, were it not for the rigid support from the industrial strength bra she used to push all that chit up in his face.


Women, we love to see your rack when it is youthful , firm, jiggly, luscious, pert and ALERT, but PLEASE, once those dugs have been sucked flat by rug-rats, they are no longer of any interest to most men, with the obvious exception of folks like Tinubu, so you had best dress in an age-appropriate manner, and spare us the depressing sight of old maids trying and FAILING to recapture long-lost youth.

The horror. The horror. The horror.

Pidgin English is the language of the Nigerian Armed Forces, and of her police force. Variants of Pidgin are also spoken all across West Africa, from Nigeria to Ghana to Sierra Leone. It is indeed the unifying language not only of Nigeria, but of Africa.

Interestingly the Pidgin English spoken in Hawaii bears remarkable similarities to the "Broken English" of Africa, which is completely unexpected, given that there is no direct historical linkage between Africa and the Hawaiian Islands.

"Out of all the lizard when lie-down for inside sun, na only the one when belle dey pain am go fiti know hinself."

"Monkey no fine, but him mama love am."

Now, on a serious note, I want to ask our Northern Nigerian brethren why they have historically shunned the Pidgin English dialect.

See the yeye shoe when the man put for leg self, Upon all the army robber when he dey do for Lagos, he no see money to buy correct shoe and enter taxi as gentleman concern.

F22RAPTOR:
Op should have politely asked him...

Na that kind ting dem dey call am "Trouble dey sleep, Yanga go wake am."

Papa God nogo let over-sabi kill man pikin. Amen.

Maybe na toy gun to use take rob mumu people for bus stop. Maybe na SS man when get permit to carry am. Maybe na policeman.

IbnSultaan:
. kai koh. try CHANGE
GMB IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FAILURE OF THE PRESENT GOVT TO BE PROACTIVE AGNST BH

Anyway make we wait and see. At least if our man Fashola rises to a good post in Buhari's government, something good will have materialized already, making for a positive start heralding the arrival of better things down the road.

IbnSultaan:
no need to reply that foool

Haba Megida Sultan. Why you come dey flog me again like this now ? Una don win, and me I don kukuma run go hide for London, dey work as minimum-wage night manager for Macdonalds.


Also, I don accept my position as second-class nama anytime I step Nigeria, so no need for this vex again Megida. Baa Magana. Baa Kwuome.

Oya come siddon for my station here, make I polish ya alligator-skin shoe, make am shine like sun, to take see small chop-money put for pocket.

Yowaa.

MuguliciousMUGU:
If the soldier discover say you snap him pics with his weed for his mouth, you will know that police is your friend, he would not only design your face with tribal marks, he would also beat you blue and black that you will forget your name and state of origin.

I have always wanted to have tribal marks etched on my face, and this confirmation that the police can help me actualize this dream comes as good news indeed.

Now my only question about this process is whether or not anesthetics will be used to ease my pain during the exercise.

bidexiii:
I think I differ on your opinion on these ? Don't forget that buhari once escaped death, was it in kano or kastina that is jeep was targeted ?
I was in maiduguri ,when dis whole shit started ! When Mohammed yussuf was kiLled in the police headquarters and how boko haram as metamorphosis ed, and I blame all. Obj, even the late president and gej for the way they handle BH. And an advice for buhari's regime he should never under-estimate BH ?

If I were a gambling man, I would wager every dime in my account, and throw in my home as well, that the Boko Haram war will END within 3 months or less from the time Jonathan Goodluck is booted from office to make way for the new federal Caliphate under Buhari.

That bomb incident to which you refer was most likely staged to garner sympathy for Buhari, whose armored car suffered only cosmetic damage when that carefully measured explosive charge went off. Such a controlled explosion is of course well within the expertise of military demolition experts, who were most likely tenured by Buhari himself, to organize that fireworks display.

Anyway, I apologize for this digression from the topic at hand, and assure you there will be no more asides of this nature.

Not to worry, y'all, because the Boko Haram terror gang has accomplished its mission of ensuring that the Born-to-Rule philosophy is revived in Nigeria, by the installation of a northern Nigerian president who will ensure that the overwhelming majority of oil drilling rights owned by northern Nigerians are retained as such, ensuring that an equitable, nationwide distribution of oil wealth remains in the realm of fantasy for the rest of all time.

Once again, the Boko Haram terrorists, having fulfilled their mandate of perpetuating Nigeria's economic apartheid system, will now collect their final paychecks and retire until their services are needed in the future.

In THREE months or less from the date of this written prediction, the Boko Haram war will be a thing of the past. Mission accomplished.

This man who took ten thousand naira, or the paltry sum of fifty muffugin US dollars, for the sale of a child to kidnappers, should be given a fair trial, and then taken outside to be shot dead.

If there is any problem looking for shooters to conduct this cleanup exercise, I will gladly PAY ten thousand naira for the privilege of using my own 12-gauge shotgun to blast open the enormous cranium of that dim-witted slave trader.

cy4cent:
Lol, it is a term to tell someone not to be pissed, n even when they are to tell them it's not worth it.

After all, we can talk about issues without fighting.
By the way, why are you interested in finding out, the person I quoted didn't mind.
it is well with you!!

I like learning new words, and that is why I asked what that term meant. I appreciate the prayer too, provided I don't need to pay cash for it.

cy4cent:
Lol, Swerry, this is not something to sweat about,

If you don't mind my asking, why have you changed the name of Mr. HZRF to "Swerry".

What does "swerry" mean ? Is it a cute name for someone who likes to eat cherries, as in "Swerry the Cherry eater" ?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Heroin is a deadly drug that kills thousands of users annually, yet the death sentence handed down to these convicted heroin smugglers is still barbaric and excessive. Life in jail would have been more than enough of a punishment for all of these convicts.

Marijuana has never killed a soul in over 3000 years of human civilization, and therefore the man convicted of importing weed to indonesia should NOT have been sentenced to death alongside heroin smugglers. Likewise the Fillipino maid who was tricked into carrying drugs in her luggage should have been spared from the firing squad, on compassionate grounds.

One can only imagine the agony in the minds of those 9 human beings, now that a time has been set when bullets will rip their flesh apart and send them into an early grave. One cannot but pity all those convicts, for what has already happened and what will soon occur.

The audacity and incorrigible megalomania that motivated the examinations board to impound the august and grandiloquent submissions of our man Patrick Obahiagbon are sufficient grounds for a disconcerting lapse into melancholy rumination by all well-meaning observers resident within Nigeria's terra firma, because those examination script seizures illustrate ad-nausem, ad-infinitum, and inter-alia, the preposterous and overbearing modus operandi of the exam board, which in this instance conducted itself well outside the traditional remit of such an august conglomeration of intellectual monoliths.

Enjoy your approaching era of slavery and terror under the Boko Haram organizer Buhari, Nigeria.

The "change" you muffukus requested has arrived, and soon, many common citizens and politicians alike will rue the day they were born, as they watch their illiterate "President for Life" strip away all the rights and freedoms they had taken for granted under past democracies.

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
@papiwata. Yes i quite agree with you. But you know there is no way body-building can be talked about without the pro body-builders. Although they(pro body-builders) have a rather unhealthy lifestyle but with the recent advancement in medicine and the likes, the body-builders are better informed on the diet to take as well as the steroid cycle that will not pose harm to their health. When last do you hear of any pro body-builder dropping dead? Excessive use of human growth hormone, steroid, synthol and over consumption of "junks" foods are usually the precursors for early death. I am an advocate for the natural ways of building muscles, i have never seen a steroid pack in my life. I detest anything drugs. I love doing it naturally. it is just that those pro body-builders are simply an amazement to behold.

Yes indeed, my brother. The results those guys get for their efforts are inspiring to anyone who pumps iron, for sure.

The discipline and dedication needed to keep up a weight regime is very good mental conditioning for ALL aspects of human endeavor, from career advancement to politics, as exemplified by the rise of Arnold Shwartzeneger from pro body builder to movie star to state governor.

Good to hear you have made the choice never to go the steroid route, and to keep it natural with good diet, adequate rest and carefully designed weight programs.

That last picture reminds me of a man I encountered in the weight room some years back, who was performing heavy bench presses despite having lost one hand in an accident years previous.

The weight bar was balanced on the stub of his wrist, where the hand no longer was, such that the over 250 pounds weight was held by his one good hand, and balanced on the healed wrist bone-end where the other hand was no longer connected. I finally walked over and told him he had to be one of the baddest muffugus I have ever seen enter a gym. At the time I could not match his bench press weight, despite having TWO good hands to use. He laughed and said he gets many such comments when he worked out.

By the way, Pristine Muscles, those extreme body builders in your pictures have to eat HEAVY, up to 6 times a day, and ALSO inject themselves with ANABOLIC STEROIDS, which are known killers, over time. Few people can afford that kind of intake of food, and all that red meat the big guys eat really does shorten their lives, due to many illnesses that arise as time goes on. For the average Joe, those giants are NOT role models to be emulated. The last picture of the guy with the artificial legs shows a more achievable and natural size that can be attained without that extreme eating regime that costs so much monetarily and health-wise. Just my opinion brother, no offense intended.

Splashme:
Nigeria is doomed.
This old BUHARI will take the country 30yrs back

Please allow Nigeria to enjoy the northern colonialism and slavery under the born-to-rule 95-year-old Fresident-fwa-life that they have elected.

At least the Boko Haram terror gang have now completed their contract of making Nigeria ungovernable in order to pave the way for the new, long awaited northern dictatorship, and the Boko boys can now enjoy the proceeds of the Niger Delta oil wealth with no further share needed to be wasted on those who live there, along with anyone else who is not part of the new northern hegemony.

In short, Nigeria, count your blessings and shout for more change, because chump change is all you will get now ha ha ha.

[size=14pt] This is good news for my great-grandfather who clocked 120 years old last week. I have instructed that his body be dug up so that I can help him process an application for a ministerial position where his condition might not be noticed in the new geriatric dispensation Nigeria is about to enjoy. [/size]

Ha ha ha only in Africa will one hear the word "stunning" used to describe an obese woman. That's cool though. Even fat people need to breed.

Africa dances to her own drummer. An individual that would be regarded as UGLY, FAT and LAZY in the rest of the word, is the same person that sets African heart's aflutter ha ha ha.

It's all good. To each his own.