₦airaland Forum

blym4real:
When a person smokes
marijuana, THC quickly
passes from the lungs
into the bloodstream.
The blood carries the
chemical to the brain
and other organs
throughout the body.
The body absorbs THC
more slowly when the
person eats or drinks it.
In that case, the user
generally feels the
effects after 30
minutes to 1 hour.
THC acts on specific
brain cell receptors that
ordinarily react to
natural THC-like
chemicals in the brain.
These natural
chemicals play a role in
normal brain
development and
function.
Marijuana overactivates
parts of the brain that
contain the highest
number of these
receptors. This causes
the "high" that users
feel. Other effects
include:
altered senses
(for example,
seeing brighter
colors)
altered sense of
time
changes in mood
impaired body
movement
difficulty with
thinking and
problem-solving
impaired memory

This bud's for you, buddy. I know you are firing up a fatty right now this minute.

jascon1:
tbh the real SA are poor. The visitors r the most successful (Afrikaans). As a matter of fact there r places blacks(indigenous sons) don't go e.g hospitals or pubs. They r lazy. Picture a whole Mandela's children fighting for his wealth. It shows u how lazy n wasted they r.

South Africans as a group may be lazy when it comes to earning a living, but they are world champions when it comes to getting drunk, robbing and murdering innocent people.

[size=16pt] Arrest and jail the Frog Eye Kleptomaniac Woman Madueke NOW, and seize all her stolen money. [/size]

South Africa is a nation of ARMED drunks and thieves. Anyone setting up a business there is asking for ultimate destruction.

Great stuff, Bidexii. You have taken up where Sirius Black left off with his battle field dispatches.

Now that the northern agenda for tribal domination and enslavement of Nigeria has been actualized at the federal level, the Boko Haram terror gang will be disbanded and paid off, but placed on standby in anticipation of any future point in time when a southern Nigerian wins a presidential election, whereupon the terror gang will re-appear to wreak havoc until another northern Nigerian is once again imposed as Grand Seriki and born-to-rule president of the nation.

So, all told, the Boko Haram war will now wind down promptly, since the objective to politically enslave of all Nigeria's tribes is now on track once again.

The born to rule folks have achieved their goal, and therefore the services of the Boko Haram terror gang are no longer required.

pecothecash:
PLEASE I NEED YOUR ADVICE
My girlfriend is dating a soldier and I'm
planning to go and
warn him at the barracks..
Should I go or not?.

1. Visit a Juju man to obtain bullet-proof talismans

2. Storm the barracks and demand to see the soldier who is servicing your woman.

3. Challenge the soldier to a good old fashioned fist fight.

4. When he opens fire and you catch all his bullets with your teeth, throw them back in his face to frighten him.

5. When the soldier flees in terror, proceed to his quarters and forcibly take your woman back home with you.

6. Send my consultation fees in cash BEFORE you carry out steps 1 to 5.

Ymodulus the last person on earth, who will ever entertain the notion of legalizing weed, would be a retired soldier in his seventies.

I would not be in the least bit surprised to hear in due course about special task forces set up by the new Buhari government for the purpose of rounding up weed smokers and shooting them dead in batches.

Your request for Buhari to endorse legal weed smoking will be about as successful as if you were to file a request with the Pope to bless your condom before you embark on an evening of vigorous consultation with hookers in a sleazy motel.

Raji Fashola is by far the greatest Nigerian political leader EVER to occupy elected office.

In the fullness of time Barrister Rajji Fashola SAN WILL rise to become the most highly regarded president of the Nigerian federation ever to occupy that exalted office.

That must be Batman with the mask and flowing cape.


You looking for war-front swag ? Check out Batman chilling on the Heavy Machine Gun, ready to light up a few muffugus.

duchez:
Please can someone in the house tell me the best method to cure Prostrate Cancer. A friend has adviced me to go for an operation but sources (friends) say that people who go through operation usually die within one or two months after the operation. Other people have said that herbal treatment is the best cure. Please i need your advice as i'm presently very confused as to which method to use. My case is very serious, recently my urethra was completely blocked, it took the grace of God for me to be rescued.

You might NOT have cancer of the prostate, but you clearly do have enlargement of the prostate. Either way there is NO alternative to surgery, once you have reached the stage of being unable to empty your bladder even once. Any medications prescribed to you by a doctor will have SERIOUS side effects that will make you feel bloated and unable to digest food, and worse still, are likely to result in lowering of your blood pressure, such that your heart will constantly feel as though it is pounding in your chest, while you are on those medications.

In considering surgery you must be EXTREMELY careful in selecting a doctor and hospital for the procedure. If the slightest mistake is made during prostate surgery, you could wind up incontinent, unable to rise to the occasion with a woman, and worst of all, an incompetent surgeon could leave you with fecal incontinence, meaning that you will have to wear an adult diaper for the rest of your life, to keep from soiling your clothes. If you are in the UK, see your GP and get referred to a competent urologist for this URGENT operation RIGHT AWAY.

If you are in Nigeria, seek a competent medical practice in Lagos, and research the facility meticulously, before committing yourself for surgery. The modern methods of prostate surgery leave no scar, and are performed through your water pipe with a camera probe. The old methods of prostate surgery entail cutting open the abdominal wall, at GREAT risk to the life of the patient.

One thing is for sure, and that is you MUST father any more children that you desire NOW, before your surgery, because your sperm delivery plumbing WILL be blocked by even the best and most modern prostate surgery methods. That is a guaranteed side effect. After a PROPERLY handled surgery you will be able to have normal relations with women in bed, but you will only shoot AIR when the act is over, since your ejjaculate will empty BACKWARDS into your bladder, rather than outwards into the woman.

Best of luck, sir, and remember to conduct your research of the hospitals and doctors as though your life depends on it, because your life DOES depend on it. In Nigeria you will be charged between 500K and one million naira, for this absolutely essential life-saving procedure.

You's da MAN, Bidexii.

Bidexii he momma dit'n raise no fooz

Bidexii he don't be half-steppin'

He a baad mufugguh, and that ain't no lie.

Keep those pictures of the war-front flowing, brother, because they are HIGHLY informative and inspirational, for sure. Much obliged.

[size=16pt]Frog Eye Madueke the Kleptomaniac MUST be arrested.[/size]

Fantastic reportage here , Bidexxi.

You is da man !


More pictures please !

[size=14pt] Anyone who emigrates to South Africa - the land of the drunks, should not be pitied when the drunks resort to violence, since violence and getting drunk are the ONLY talents of South Africans as a group.[/size]

[size=14pt]Arrest and JAIL Maduaeke the UGLY Frog Eye Kleptomaniac Woman NOW, and seize all her stolen money![/size]

OreMI22:
[size=15pt]Boko Haram has achieved the aim northerners set it up to achieve.

Destabilize GEJ because he is a southern christian until he is forced not to contest or lose because Nigerians are tired of Boko Haram violence.

They have achieved their goal, Buhari a northern muslim is president now. So you will NEVER hear about Boko Haram again.[/size]

You right about that. Boko Haram was shut down with a single phone call from the organizers who now have what they want - Northern monopoly over Nigeria's oil fields.

Maryannlive:
The pilot later said no bird entered the engine, but one engine has spoil. Looking our skies here we don't have big birds that fly apart from vultures arnd death animals and cattle rearers(commonly known as Lekeleke) is found around cows n cattles.

Engine failure too is not something that only occurs in Nigeria. It is a scenario for which all pilots train on simulators at regular intervals. If you feel dissatisfied with the maintenance culture of Nigerian airlines, then you have a valid point that there is much room for improvement, however, making reference to an engine failure as evidence of incompetence on the part of the pilot is unfair to the pilot, since he or she is NOT a part of the maintenance crew for the airline.

Maryannlive:
Our aviation industry has got to sit up.. On friday last week there was almost a plane crash. Aero contractors going from Abuja to Uyo. As the flight took off, 2mins in the air the flight started descending slantingly.

The pilot then manage to navigate and turn back torwards the airport(abuja airport). Meanwhile passengers were already complaining and scared.. The pilot said bird flew into the engine...

Then they manage to land (very rough landing) on landing the pilot then told the truth that one engine had spoil, thats why they could not continue the trip. The question now is what if that engine got bad like 30mins in the air, what would have happen... Lives would have been lost, we would have been crying...

When you enter planes in nigeria its like brt bus (dos bad ones in lagos). D plane will be making all sort of noise, inside of it is hot... I rotate the AC nob Left and right center ... nofin comes out.... Especially Arik and Aero Contractors...

The other day Arik sold more tickets than seats so people were standing in the plane.. Haba.. Join me in using this medium to call on aviation regulators to look into the torn and worn down state of planes that are still flying... Is it until people that before they will sit up...

Yesterday airport workers went on strike because of old, epileptic navigation equipment in the Tower... Haba.. Now if crash shd happen now how will dey know d point d plane went down so dey go n look for survivors...

Nigerians are human beings not goats or cows, we deserve to be protected by the very GOVERNMENT we put in place.
http://www.maryannlive.com/2015/04/plane-crash-near-death-ordeal-details.html

Bird strikes are a worldwide phenomenon, and are certainly NOT limited to African airspace. Rather than whining and complaining about the "rough" landing performed by your pilot in that emergency, you should be offering grateful praise to the captain for performing a successful single-engine landing, after having a bird impact disable one engine so close to the ground. Things could have turned out MUCH worse, so again, count your lucky stars.

Read up about "The Miracle on the Hudson", when Captain "Sully" Sullenberger's Airbus A320 airliner sustained multiple bird strikes moments after takeoff, shutting down BOTH engines below 3000 feet altitude, and yet who managed to land his stricken airliner on the freezing waters of the Hudson River, just off the Manhattan shoreline, with NO injuries or fatalities recorded.

This rash of deaths MAY be the result of localized food poisoning, or contamination of the drinking water supply used by the affected villages.

All the same, it is vital that the World Health Organization is notified IMMEDIATELY about the mysterious deaths in Ondo State, so that teams of specialists can be expedited to the area to conduct urgent investigations aimed at narrowing down the cause of this frightening outbreak, and preventing its spread into Nigeria's general population.

South Africa is a nation of armed drunks and glue-sniffers who all erupt into violence at the drop of a hat, and with no provocation needed.

Next to North Korea, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, and just about all other nations whose names end with "STAN", South Africa ranks VERY high on my list of chit-holes that I have never even considered visiting in the past, and will NEVER have reason to visit for as long as I live.

Any person who visits South Africa and is killed by the drunks there has simply been eliminated by Charles Darwin's laws of species selection, as a reward for making a decision of monumental idiocy to set foot in the Land of Drunks.

Drugs will NOT cure this condition. Surgery is the ONLY answer, but it MUST be done by a competent surgeon, otherwise there will be lots of permanent nerve damage inflicted. Best bet is to try the EU or the USA for the surgical option. For those with less money available, try Thailand, Mexico, India or the Philipenes.

CountSparrow I hail you for that run when you run, instead of to do like grammar man and begin dey ask army-soja dem say wettin happen.

Person when don tey for Nigeria go know say FULLY AUTOMATIC system of run-for-dear-life dey different, when e be say man pikin go don dey run witi full speed before e go begin dey wonder say wettin cause him leg to wake up one-time, and pick race like that.

As you see soja witi strong-eye full for inside dem moto, already your brain hin computer don blow alarm and send alert to ya left leg, together witi ya right leg, say make dem dey standby to begin run 440 anytime when someting do GBUAM for ya front. As the moto nak brake and stop make all that soja begin dey jump down face you, that automatic speed computer engine just-o direct ya leg to do quick escape one-2, before you even fiti open ya mout to halla say "Papa God helep me".

You go live long, my brother, because your computer when God give you, no need to upgrade at all.

Sorry OP, "London Used" is simply not good enough for me. I will only ever buy Aba-made or at least, Aba-used phones and women.

I have declared Musiwa officially dead many times over the past few years, only to be proven wrong.


Clearly another Musiwa attack is on the way any time from now.

If the poster's ONLY complaint about life in Lagos falls under the category of what people say there, rather than other "minor concerns" about falling prey to smash-and-grab traffic gridlock bandits, home invasion gangs, spontaneous outbreaks of shooting and rioting, predatory militiamen and kidnapping syndicates, then I would like to assure the OP that he is MORE than qualified to call that Lagos metropolis home sweet home, with NO cause to fear anything from anywhere.

[size=14pt]Yee, though I may walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Lagos
I fear NO evil, for the blessings of Oga Tolu doth protecteth me.
With the power and the glory of the Almighty Homie in the Sky, Amen.[/size]

[size=18pt]Jail the Frog Eye Woman Madueke NOW. Jail FROG EYE Madueke TODAY![/size]

ayukdaboss:
Dingbat!!

I know you can't get that melody out of your head right now, so feel free to hum it under your breath. You have good taste in music.

kropotkin2:
Not offended in the least, but i still think they took an unecessary risk. Alot of people died on the road this election period, those who chose to stay put didnt get murdered by so called fanatics

Panic does have the sort of result you describe, and IF Jonathan had disputed the election results of even a day, hundreds of southerners in the north would have been slaughtered by fanatics, so were I a southerner living in the north during this last election, I would have risked my life on the road, heading away from ground zero of fanaticism, possibly never to return.

You are a true student of history, Hopilo, and as the years roll by, history will accord Johnny his rightful place as one of Africa's greatest statesmen.

kropotkin2:
I opened up a thread on how my compund was gradually being depopulated by southerners last week and i was dissapointed in the responses i got. Anyways that is not why i bother you this morning. All of a sudden, one by one my neighbours are beginning to trickle back from their temporary 'relocation' only to join me and chant 'sai Buhari'. Even one guy from anambra who was always saying very hateful things about Buhari has all of a sudden jumped on the bandwagon of 'change'. If there are any of you southerners based up north on nairaland who fled during the elections, come in here and please explain to the house why this sudden shift in political orientation

They are simply scared of being murdered by fanatics, and have taken sensible steps to ensure that they are not targeted.

Sorry if that offends you.

Ezedon:
Not interested, afterall i'm not planning to go to USA cus i ve phobia for height and also Nigeria trained pilots

My tenured Juju man can teleport you to America, for a fat fee payable in advance, so that you can avoid travel on Nigerian owned aircraft, and travel just as did our ancestors, before the days of ships and planes.