₦airaland Forum

OpeLovely:
Figuratively speaking,

the dangly dangly jingly from a male human.

That must have been a mouthful! Did you enjoy it? Figuratively?

@OP
If inspite of these you go ahead and travel to the UK, in 10 years time while you are still trying to turn charcoal into diamond inside London your contemporaries being recruited now would have risen to managerial positions.They will come and spend money the way you only dream of or obtain additional qualifications from the Ivy league (US) or Oxford/Cambridge and then come back to their jobs with their employers balls in their firm grasp considering the on-the-job training they've had.

There is no doubt that being in the UK has its advantages. You will likely live longer. But you will have to find your place as a tiller of the soil in a modern feudal society. Occassionally of course you will see a brother or a sister with extreme luck and maybe hardwork break out of this destined existence.With that same measure of luck and hardwork in Nigeria you can only imagine what his achievement will be.

Opportunities for Nigerians both legal and illegal have been locked up and the key thrown into the English Channels. For example I understand that the weaknesses in the mortgage market that enabled our peeps to 'own' 10, 20 houses while people wey get country are homeless has been addressed with new legislations.

So for someone who has been given a bank job that is not being pursued by anybody in Nigeria, why don't you wait so that you can eat from the top rather than eat from the bottom when you get to the UK.

I think I like to correct a misconception here. Female circumcision (that barbaric act we all should condemn) does not preclude sexual excitement. The individual may however not be able to get the multiple internal implosions during the act that the likes of AJ get all the time.The excitement may be weak but usually sufficient to facilitate lubrication making intercourse possible.

You know there is a problem when there is no excitement and hence no lubrication making the act frustrating for both. This is frigidity and requires medical attention. It is doubtful if this occurs commonly even among circumsized housewives which means most of them still enjoy sex.

Make e try first then come tell us how e be.

almondjoy:
@poster

Well, since the outer caucus has been shaved, you may need to go to the inner circle of friends for the main bells to ring. You will need a lot of viagra for the next 40 years if you end up with this babe. Not her fault though. Too bad!

Just prepare your mind that you are going to the farm every time you approach her for "show"! It is going to be the longest day or night you ever encountered always. Na firewood you carry so! These kind sof women are for breeding purposes only. Don't expect any form of excitement unless you have an extra long. . . .third leg to wake up the dead inside her inner chambers!

Kpele oooooooooooooooh!

I think it should please you, since no body will want your babe besides you. She is going to be very faithfull to you. Una you don buy market ooooooooooooooooooh!

Thank God you did not wait for anti pre-marital sexists to preach rubbish to you and take control over your relationship. Now you definitely know what you are in for. All I can say is that if she does not meet your needs, please leave her alone and let her deal with her issues or find someone who likes that kind of torture.

Goodluck oooooooooooooooooooooh!

AJ, don't be pessimistic. Dont forget there is power hidden in those nipples.

OP, perhaps you should worry less about your concerns during the act. To some, real joy comes from being able to give than to recieve. Isn't that in the bible? Well sth like that.

belabela:
I would advise you to stay with diamond bank. I am resident in Uk and I have seen what many of my Nigerian brothers and sisters pass through just because somebody promised them heaven on earth once they land here. The fact is that except you have work permit, residence card, HSMP, IGS or a citizen getting a relevant job to your field is most difficult.
The best way to study here is to have full sponsorship or you have a full scholarship there is no beauty in schooling and working( because if you don't work you will die) here. The schools are in no way concerned whether you work or not theirs is to make ensure you pay their fees. After graduation you are on your own.
This is how work goes here. First British citizens are considered, then EU citizens, then others.
However in a very tough economy some are doing very well. But you would be taking a great risk thinking you are coming to "paradise" I don't struggle here so you may come here also and enjoy but you have to think about your moves. Pray to God for direction.

Original poster will do well to read this again. Very honest and very selfless piece of advice. What you or your friend have with Diamond bank is a job and a carrier. Better educated guys out there (UK) will kill you for this opportunity.

If I was to draw up a hierachy for available opportunities it will be something like, British citizens, EU citizens, Asians, Africans, Nigerians.However, with the recent resurgence of Nigerians in drug trafficking not sure if we will make the list at all.

bababuff:
@pennywise,

my online transactions with the Mastercard are mainly for software downloads and membership subscriptions.
You get directed to a site for card verifications, and within minutes, I get my registration code in may mail box.

That is all I need. I am not sure I would like to buy camcorders from the internet.

Could someone share recent experiences with eco bank, Intercontinental and other bank issued MCs.

bababuff:
The Credit cards are working.

I have a MasterCard from GTB which I use for internet shopping, and a VISA debit card from Standard Chartered Bank that I use for shopping in Dubai.

This is an indeed pleasant surprise.More recent users should tell us. The last time I tried was like nov 2006. Or could this be an issuer problem.

Re online shopping. Did dealer agree to ship to Nigeria or you used a proxy address?

@Op.

Mastercard has been a source of major frustration to its Nigerian users for a long time. The banks are aware of this yet they do nothing. And they fraudulently keep issuing these cards and charging customers. I acquired that of Eco bank and later Intercontinental bank between 2003-2005. I mean they are useless. They cannot be used on line and ATMs outside the country.Every month one of them sends me paper statement showing a deduction of 1 dollar. The last time I used any of them successfully was in early 2005. Late 2005 onwards, Nigerian issued mastercard was dead online and dead in UK ATM machines.

Dont bother requesting explanations from the banks because you will get nothing that makes sense. But I have read something like its due to the black-listing of Nigeria, Pakistan and other fraud prone countries by the west.

Another curious issue in my experience with these banks issuing MCs, in particular one of them, if you call them 10 times in one day for your balance you will get 10 different answers even if there has been no transaction on that card. Makes you wonder. Sometimes they even say you are indebted to them which is absurd because unlike in other places, the card is not linked to your account. Once the credit finish like glo, okpari.

ops:
and pennywise,you are on your own on that virgin stuff!tight is ok but can't keep going throughthe rudiments everytime!

Pennywise has never used the v-word on nairaland. Do those creatures still exist? Even if I used the word it has to be in the context of something new and untouched. A most unrealistic expectation of a naija babe in the larger society and a fantasy on nairaland. The question is who are the cold blooded male offenders?

OpeLovely:
Anyway, without digressing too much, there are a couple of stories about a guy going for a young chic and then after the sex, he finds that he just can't let go as he's already hooked and stays with her till she's pregnant. No juju or voodoo, just the oomph!

Looks like this thread is a tribute to young mistresses. They all have their usefulness. Whether they come in as adjuncts to the procreative machinery of the home or remain outside while exerting stabilizing influences by making the man constantly happy. Y'all give it up for young mistresses.

OpeLovely:
A young girl with the assets to make a man shiver but no brain.

Or, a matured single lady say 38 years old, with no assets but brains.

The whole idea of making choices preparatory to dating is very complex. The most powerful computer in the world I believe cannot analyse the many different things going on when I guy meets a girl. People try to sum it up by calling it chemistry. To guys who are interested in big this big that they may be instantly put off the moment they see the person vice versa. But I understand that there is no other way to ask the question as to which a guy will prefer. The variables are waaay too many. But you just know when you like someone.

OpeLovely:
Which do you both prefer to date?
A young girl with the assets to make a man shiver but no brain.

Or, a matured single lady say 38 years old, with no assets but brains.

Prefer to date? Initially I will say most will go for the young volouptous girl. But those big asses and boobs will be no more than masses of flesh if there is no reasonable communication from her. On the other hand the one without much assets can add tremendous value to what she has through communication, personality and character (I dont mean it the way my grand mother understands character).

What I want is a different matter. My connection is rather slow today

ops:
Pennywise do i detect a touch of guilt?

No hint of guilt at all. Dont forget pennywise is only relaying experiences of the masters.

As a rider to the above, we are discussing younger girls because they are the ones that are available. No gentleman would like to risk monumental humiliation going after one that is married. Or is there?

OpeLovely:
Thanks once again, pennywise. Please tell your bro, Mr. Ops to stop sounding like a broken record. Talking about being imaginative, you sure sounded like a 12 year old. My 18 year old brother does a better job of toasting.

I figure you would prefer one that is more matured and accomplished. Generally speaking?

@opelovly
Talking about dating a younger girl. I have often found myself in situations listening to guys talk about these things and I have learnt from their experiences for instance that the anatomical advantage you mentioned indeed is a myth and cannot sustain a relationship. What is important is what you have how creative you are and how prepared you are to use it. These don't have a lot to do with her age really except she has gone way beyond.

Its no secret. Ops and I are married men.He has 4 children, 1 have only 2.

Opelovely, hi ya.
I have to warn you to beware of strange, smooth talking men advertising e-mail addresses on internet. They are never up to anything good.In particular one called ops.

Makes them look silly. But I love it. Left anklets too.

ops:
Actually don't think they qualified as honorable.Think I prefer lovestruck and a wee bit stupid.
For the sake of censorship,i will once again call you an Aristo!

I think I will rather take my chance with a revolver than risk losing so much money. You Aristo.

To think that honourable men actually died so cheaply is incredible. Those were the forefathers of Spitzer who today is paying, wait for it $5000 a night for a hooker.

I think she already has a thing for you anyway. I give up.

ops:
Anyway,I aint that old.

All these aristos, that is exactly what they always say.

ops:
@pennywise
Mon ami,I'm deeply hurt by your unfounded allegation! !me charmed by opeluvly!but why?anyway not that I mind .
Meanwhile,the manipulating part ,totally agree!

Well she charmed me. I was actually being economical with words. You were more like struck from the beginning. And you sound like an aristo.

ops:
@pennywise
sure the charming poster will forgive you.ctually think she was only kidding with the statement hence the winkie at the end.

I doubt it if you would have attempted to come to my aid had you thought so. More likely I think you've been charmed.

dipo2much:
the young girls are easier to manipulate

Sometimes you think you are in charge when in fact you are being so thoroughly manipulated.

Pennywise:
OpelovelyWhat school do you attend what level are you and exactly how old are you? You sound like a minor.

I have to withdraw my comment from yesterday and apologize. Even you will agree that your statement was out of line. The comment I responded to was graphic in nature and besides my first statement was meant to be a warning. I realize I didnt need to respond but I just had to open my big mouth didnt I?

The opportunity to have shared experiences and views that nairaland provides is marvelous. From this shared experience comes knowledge. And knowledge adds quality if not quantity to life. I hope your day was as enriched by my comment as mine was enriched by yours.

Opelovely

OpeLovely:
Juice Consistency! Why not get a measuring cup and check every girl that passes in front of you to find out how her secretions are.

What school do you attend what level are you and exactly how old are you? You sound like a minor.