₦airaland Forum

Very very funny n crazy memes of people you will see in viewing centres. And it's so so true....

fuckerstard:
Is that all the Nigerians in diaspora?

https://i.warosu.org/data/g/img/0494/77/1438787400085.gif

This meme clip got me realhard!!!!!!!!!!
No be only all Nigerians in diaspora, Africans in Diaspora are included too.

Untutored and Yeye propagandists...

Biko-nu, where is the good

stupidity:
Been asking this bae out and she finally agreed to go out with me today on the condition she’ll come along with her friend. I said no wahala.

I got to TFC before them and they came in 2 minutes later. We ordered drinks at first and chit chat a little, then ordered something to eat. All these while they were snapping photos like they some kind of celebrity. As we were about to leave, I asked if they wanted take away. One of of them suggested shawarma, the other girl said same but she doesn’t want “hotdog” included.

Her reason, hotdog is made of dog meat!! .

Then the argument started. This babe nor wan gree, she said she’s very sure it’s made of dog meat and if she mistakenly eat hotdog, boil will catch her in her armpit. And to make matters worse she didn’t keep her voice low. All eyes were on us and laughing as well.

This same babe is using an iPhone with a valid subscription which she was prolly using for Instagram and the likes.

Finally told her to go on google and do a search. At first she refused. Said she knows what she’s saying, later she did the search and still wasn’t convinced. Even before we left there, she stood her ground. Hotdog is made of dog meat.

Lies! Lies!! Lies!!!
Lies straight from the pit of hell.
If hear say this story wasn't fabricated, people go just dey lie unnecessarily, anyways I no blame the OP na the mod I dey blame.

Yeye dey smell

Oga add 100k to that money n get a brand new keke put it on hire purchase n be collecting 4k everyday except on Sundays. I was once in ur shoes, I once asked similar question here but I kept receiving unrealistic ideas with most trying to lure me into chatting them on WhatsApp. I keyed into keke hire purchased biz,,,,the rest was history.

Issakendrick:
Ronaldinho will marry two women at the same time, according to reports in Brazil.

It is believed that Ronaldinho asked Priscilla Coelho and Beatriz Souza for their hands in marriage in January last year, according to Brazilian columnist Leo Dias via The Mirror.

The 38-year-old, who actually announced his retirement from football in January, then gave them both engagement rings. It is reported that the two women have been, and are currently, living "harmoniously" with Ronaldinho in his mansion in Rio de Janeiro.

Brazilian columnist Leo Dias also claims that both women receive a monthly allowance of $5,000 from Ronaldinho to 'spend as they please.' They are to marry at a private ceremony inside the Santa Monica condominium in Rio.

Source:
http://nairaplus.com/2018/05/24/ronaldinho-set-to-marry-his-2-girlfriends-at-the-same-time/

Ronaldinho all I have to say to you is that your broke days are closer than you can imagine, unless you finally gain the political position you're questing for but before then, I pity you in advance!

Was ur numero-uno fan that year tho!

bettercreature:
500 naira should be enough to make a very delicious Egusi soup
Egusi 80 naira
dry pepper 10 naira
fish 100 naira
snail 150
veg... 20 naira
beaf 120
I think i can manage 450 naira mind you it will serve us for 3 days

Abeg where do u buy fish- #100 and beef - #120...?

Eyaaa....RIP to the dead!
Since she gat a link/appointment with Sierra Leone government, I hearby wait on Kemi olunloyo n crew to come and testify that she used her mum for rituals.

Yeye Kemi..

Eyaaa

The woman is insane, she needs cheap publicity which I'm not ready to give, no be this same woman that criticized olamide on some money n fame ritual sh-t. I don't take such people seriously, they're synonymous to sadism n envy.

KubwaBoy:
Am gonna miss this legend. Can't imagine Barca without him

Honestly bro, honestly

Nawa oh, I think say this guy don pack kaya commot football fully, so the money he made in barca never do him, he wan go pack am double. MoneyPower!....#LegendaryIniesta...#Legendary n Superb midfielder.
We the barca fan love you to the moons still...

TSOM:
Of course, it wouldn't...to you. You are Charain - a teleprogrammed humanoid who w just gulps down all its being feed without seeing the bigger picture.

Crawl back to your limited horizon. I'm sure the reclusiveness is comforting for you.

Prof pardon me to weep on his behalf biko....this is too much na, I hope the guy is still breathing already...

CosmicJames:
Do you mean how you can reach me?

Yes please

Alili!! Obodo anyi by Nigeria ana-go na-iyi...
Pleas who use Nigeria do ritual

CosmicJames:
There is. But you will have to request for it. And before you can request for the card, there must be some money in your account.

For your second question,
there is an option to add your bank account now. From there, you can withdraw your money straight to your local bank account.

It is a welcome development. But it hasn't been personally confirmed

That's impressive enough, how can I reach via email or something..?

CosmicJames:
Your account is ready, and you can start using it to receive payment.
Payoneer have changed their mode of operation regarding the card.
They no longer send it as before.

You mean no more cards??
If so how then do I operate without the card...

CosmicJames:
If you can't open a payoneer account, I'm here to help and assist you.
Just indicate and and let me know if you have any challenge

Good day bro...please I'd need your help on the payoneer opened an account with them far back as last year but I'm yet to get the card or any helpful detail regarding the account despite my activations through the verification link they sent.

Hope to hear from you soon,,,,Thanks!

Amagite2:
From; Amagitesblog.com

Media personality, Toke Makinwa and actresses, Ini Edo and Ebube Nwagbo love to splurge on designer items.

They all stepped out carrying the Balenciaga bag which costs $2,050 (N745k).

Toke went for a vibrant yellow, Ini Edo went for the green, while Ebube choose a more subtle version in blue.

http://www.amagitesblog.com/2018/05/toke-makinwa-ini-edo-and-ebube-nwagbo-step-out-with-n745k-balenciaga-bag-photos.html

Cc; Lalasticlala

Tommoro they will come and tell us this amagitesblog OP, who is obviously a lady has built a choice house n gotten herself a Benz car. Make una continue we Dey watch...

However ebube nwagbo gives me this erotic vibe. Gal set!

Amagite3:
From; Amagitesblog.com

Relationship blogger, Okoro Blessing, who runs Break_or_makeup on Instagram has bought herself a brand new Benz for her 29th birthday, after 3 years in the blogging business.

Showing off the car on her Instagram page, she wrote;

"3years of blogging .
Chasing my passion .
They called me a story teller and today the story has yielded result.
NKIRUKA you have earned it .
So I gift myself this Benz as my 29th birthday gift ....
Happy birthday to me
Thank you Instagram, you made me a millionaire Turing billionaire.
.
Next post will carry the long speech .
Too many calls .
#benzgang"

https://www.amagitesblog.com/2018/05/nigerian-relationship-blogger-gifts-herself-a-benz-for-her-29th-birthday-photos.html


Cc; Lalasticlala

Hmmmm,,,, why be say na only the ladies dey cash out tremendously on this blogging, abi no be this same blog webincomeplus,akeentech, topwritersden, pulsetv, bellanaija n even I Dey do for how many years now...

I am seriously not understanding, even the international blogger that was arrested early this year by Sars in Anambra state isn't making it this big. Even if she gets over a hundred thousand visitors daily as the person above me suggested how come I don't even know her blog whereas I'm in a major bloggers' community.

I'm beginning to believe most People use "I'm a blogger" as a title n job hideout to cover up their major hustle.

I don't trust neni sars, awkuzu sarz is bae, that's what fits the moronic beast.

Harbdulrasaq:
Big brother naija 2018 finalist and last woman standing Cee-c was at the pulse today where she had an interview.

Here are stunning photos of her at the interview:

http://newshelm.ng/photos-of-bbnaijas-cee-c-at-pulse-office-today/

cc lalasticlala mynd44

https://newshelm.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/img_1260.jpg
https://newshelm.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/img_1259.jpg
https://newshelm.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/img_1258.jpg
https://newshelm.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/img_1257.jpg
https://newshelm.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/img_1254.jpg

TBT, I see this gal going so far, farther than her ex housemates. She gat the star quality n way of living up that celebrity lifestyle hence keeping it moderate, I was never a fan but my closer observations on her gained her a bottle cover full of fan already.

She's on another level totally, she doesn't see any other person except herself, merely looking at her activities since she left the house you will see she's after being a better her n not anyone else, no time to waste time on negativity n trolls from non fans and ex housemates.

She careless on what the person next door is doing and that's the true religion.
Go gal......

24hoursreporter:
You Think so?

In all honesty.

24hoursreporter:
http://www.24hoursreporter.com/2018/05/22/9-things-that-will-land-you-trouble-nigeria/

OP your points are OOP...

NwaAmaikpe:



Na mouth dem dey.
I've dumped refuse severally there.

Am I mad now?

Yes na!!!
You've been mad tey-tey! Na to commot cloth enter market remain for you...

NwaAmaikpe:



Na mouth dem dey.
I've dumped refuse severally there.

Am I mad now?

You never know
Ur question be like ghost wey see him own obituary poster asking if he's really dead..
Oya wererey oo!!!

Stanley08:
It simple. The grip mappings on ths right wall where E is standing makes, when he rolls the rock, the hole there will cover D's head so nothing happens to him. But then it land on the other side of the inclined plane and the effort kills C under then the weight shoots the rock on the other end towards E and crushes that Moofucker.

Lesson: KARMA is a B I T C H!

Genius!!!!!!!!!!!

Deltatoto:
lilian Esoro Lilian back that her puci smells

Lolz. You don suck am ni?
The only Lilian I know is Lilian esuru the second daughter of late justice esuru..

Sapphire86:
I woke up that certain Wednesday feeling ‘oh, the day has finally come’. I was still running up and down doing last minute packing, attending to a dozen issues while trying to remember a dozen more still undone. I am not one for last minute rush, but this time was different – delays here and there with the visa and ticket both finally coming through less than 48 hours before departure.

I called for an Uber (while silently praying for safe arrival to the airport because I have been hearing stories about Uber & Taxify drivers lately) and 30 minutes later (even though the app said 11 mins) I was on my way to the airport. Traffic was terrible; this was the first journey-to-the-airport traffic I have ever experienced, and it got to a point that I was like ‘ah, ah, have my village people followed me to the airport?’ Finally, we reach the airport though I was a bit pissed with the Uber driver because 1., he deliberately took a longer route with traffic when we started the journey (maybe he wanted my trip fare to be deliberately high) and 2., he didn’t know any shortcuts! We were just stuck in traffic; one thing about commercial bus drivers is that they would always find another way when they sight traffic ahead except if there is truly no way out. But this Uber driver just sat there because even if we got to the airport 3 hours later, it really wasn’t his concern!

Got to the airport an hour plus later and then it hit me that I was back at the Nigerian Airport! First, it was the policemen unnecessarily hailing me before I realized that they wanted me to part with money; then it was unknown personality who came, held my bag & ‘offered’ to help me carry it. I’m like ‘emm, no, thank you’ and in my mind, I’m like ‘my hands don’t look broken; I ain’t parting with no naira, dollar or even cent’. I thought ‘oh, the harassment has ended’ forgetting that I was STILL at the Nigerian airport.


I did my check-in and made my way to immigration and it was there I was reminded that I was still in Nigeria. First immigration officer was nice but wanted a tip and in my mind I’m like ‘why should I give you money because I am travelling; don’t you know how much dollar is?’ The second immigration officer was where the issue was. He checks my passport because it’s a new passport and sees no stamp, immediately starts harassing me (it was a new passport but not my first time travelling). Then he goes ‘let me just stamp for you because if I send you down there, they will harass you, but you MUST give me something’. Now, the difference between the first & second immigration officer was that the first asked nicely for a tip, this one flat out demanded a BRIBE. Is there a law that says new passport holders cannot travel? How will the passport stop being new if it is not used in travelling out? Well, since I didn’t ‘tip’ the first officer though he asked nicely, I refused to BRIBE him. True to his word, he sent me and my passport down to the association-of-immigration-officers corner thinking he has dealt with me. The lady he sent my passport to asked me for my visa, checked with my passport, asked for my travel allowance and when she saw I was legit, she gave me my passport and asked me to go and get stamped. As I left, my eyes and that of the second immigration officer met and he could see my victory stare and smile.

.... to be continued

Nice one OP, I like the way you handled the immigration officers had similar experience on my very first trip to the US which was literally my first time leaving Nigeria.
Hopefully i will still make a thread someday regarding how Nigerians are being scammed inside our int'l airports by immigration officers mostly when they see your passport is a virgin one.

Those guys nearly use me do yeye seeing my passport was a virgin passport, mehn crazy enough I caused a nasty scene there, one even threatened to delay me n make sure I miss my flight, that was when all hell broke lose, I started screaming untop of my voice with my cell phone out like I'm recording but I really wasn't. My last visit to the US mid last year I was gonna travel with my parents, and my mum had a virgin passport but the kind frown I give those officers, they no see face ask for a dime.

However I've come to understand something about this people they don't need mild approach, if u do ajibo for them then get ready to exhaust all ur cash on tips.
Very useless set of people, we are complaining about NPF n SARS but airport security own are worst. Annoying enough when I came back n called the attention of the airport CSO through my legal team, the old fool claimed he doesn't know about his men's extortion to travelers, very hectic experience.

Sapphire86:
I woke up that certain Wednesday feeling ‘oh, the day has finally come’. I was still running up and down doing last minute packing, attending to a dozen issues while trying to remember a dozen more still undone. I am not one for last minute rush, but this time was different – delays here and there with the visa and ticket both finally coming through less than 48 hours before departure.

I called for an Uber (while silently praying for safe arrival to the airport because I have been hearing stories about Uber & Taxify drivers lately) and 30 minutes later (even though the app said 11 mins) I was on my way to the airport. Traffic was terrible; this was the first journey-to-the-airport traffic I have ever experienced, and it got to a point that I was like ‘ah, ah, have my village people followed me to the airport?’ Finally, we reach the airport though I was a bit pissed with the Uber driver because 1., he deliberately took a longer route with traffic when we started the journey (maybe he wanted my trip fare to be deliberately high) and 2., he didn’t know any shortcuts! We were just stuck in traffic; one thing about commercial bus drivers is that they would always find another way when they sight traffic ahead except if there is truly no way out. But this Uber driver just sat there because even if we got to the airport 3 hours later, it really wasn’t his concern!

Got to the airport an hour plus later and then it hit me that I was back at the Nigerian Airport! First, it was the policemen unnecessarily hailing me before I realized that they wanted me to part with money; then it was unknown personality who came, held my bag & ‘offered’ to help me carry it. I’m like ‘emm, no, thank you’ and in my mind, I’m like ‘my hands don’t look broken; I ain’t parting with no naira, dollar or even cent’. I thought ‘oh, the harassment has ended’ forgetting that I was STILL at the Nigerian airport.


I did my check-in and made my way to immigration and it was there I was reminded that I was still in Nigeria. First immigration officer was nice but wanted a tip and in my mind I’m like ‘why should I give you money because I am travelling; don’t you know how much dollar is?’ The second immigration officer was where the issue was. He checks my passport because it’s a new passport and sees no stamp, immediately starts harassing me (it was a new passport but not my first time travelling). Then he goes ‘let me just stamp for you because if I send you down there, they will harass you, but you MUST give me something’. Now, the difference between the first & second immigration officer was that the first asked nicely for a tip, this one flat out demanded a BRIBE. Is there a law that says new passport holders cannot travel? How will the passport stop being new if it is not used in travelling out? Well, since I didn’t ‘tip’ the first officer though he asked nicely, I refused to BRIBE him. True to his word, he sent me and my passport down to the association-of-immigration-officers corner thinking he has dealt with me. The lady he sent my passport to asked me for my visa, checked with my passport, asked for my travel allowance and when she saw I was legit, she gave me my passport and asked me to go and get stamped. As I left, my eyes and that of the second immigration officer met and he could see my victory stare and smile.

.... to be continued

Nice one OP, I like the way you handled the immigration officers had similar experience on my very first trip to the US which was literally my first time leaving Nigeria.
I will hopefully make a thread someday regarding how Nigerians are being scammed by immigration officers mostly when they see your passport is a virgin one.

Those guys nearly use me do yeye seeing my passport was a virgin passport, mehn crazy enough I caused a nasty scene there, one even threatened to delay me n make sure I miss my flight, that was when all hell broke lose, I started screaming untop of my voice with my cell phone out like I'm recording but I really wasn't.

However I've come to understand something about this people they don't need a mild approach, if u do ajibo for them then get ready to exhaust all ur cash on tips.
Very useless set of people, we are complaining about NPF n SARS but airport security own na worst. Annoying enough when I came back n called the attention of the airport CSO through my legal team, the old fool claimed he doesn't know about his men's extortion to travelers, very hectic experience.

Deltatoto:
in ur entire village nobody is a pretty as Lilian

I am pretty sure you meant Lilian Bach...

CSTR1003:
A rich guy like Ubi should not be hung up over a girl like Lilian.

There are far prettier girls with better character he should be able to get at the drop of a hat.

God bless you buddy!