₦airaland Forum

Hmmmmmmm!... This actually got me speechless.

XtraSmooth404:
Hello guys, I’ve been thinking about this lately. After the usual excitement that comes with getting a particular job, there comes this more enticing offer that you can’t just resist; better pay, juicy allowance/benefits, free lunch, etc and guess what? You’ve just been invited for an interview!


What this implies is that you will likely miss work for a day or two especially if you have to travel inter-state. Considering the fact that our current economic climate isn’t so cool that one should take unnecessary risks, what are these harmless but effective “lie lifelines” one can tell his/her Boss to avoid raising some eyebrows?

I was to attend an interview with an oil company and my current job has been taken all my time with a meagre pay,my boss acts like an angel from the pit of hell and their's no way. She will allow me a day off work no matter what the excuse might be. I was able to make this interview by following this simple steps... (1) I bought a tin of milk and an egg (2) I took my egg and milk to the office and when I'm sure that my boss is about coming in I poured the egg and milk into a cup and drank it,I had some quantity reserved in my mouth and immediately my boss walked in I splashed the remaining milk and egg content inside my mouth to the floor. My boss was shocked and she asked what is wrong with me and I told her that I've been vomiting since the past few days with a very high fever,I told her that I've been suspecting myself of having Ebola with all this symptoms. My boss took a few steps backward and immediately ordered me to vacate the office premises until I am able to come back with ebola clearance certificate. Hehehehhehehehehe... That was how I was able to attend up to three interview within the pace of two weeks and I returned to my old job after a month.

Good observation and your opinion would be seconded by me. However,I think its worthy of note to inform whoever that might need the service of professional Tiler,POP designer,and painters to contact us at BluePrint INC. Our jobs speaks for itself and we have a travel-team that can work in any part of the country. Contact us on: Phone- 08166682048, watsapp-08036168806, BBM-2A2F3D7C.

Slynonny:
That's a good one instead of pumping in money to sustain the Naira over the Dollar.
Expect APC to campaign with this news.
In other news.
How you living Mr Ayo Fayose for exposing APC lies and propaganda?
Ans: In Mansion and Benzes giving headache to APC and it feels stupendous.
How you feeling Mr Femi Fani Kayode for dumping APC?
Ans: Am feeling good like never before.
APC is dead and is on the news.
How do you feel going back to PDP Mr Barcanista?
I feel at home.
Is been a long time coming and am glad am finally home.
Just like the biblical prodigal son i've realised my mistakes and gone back to PDP.
In Jonathan we have seen real and positive change.
Vote Wisely GEJ 2019

dollar was never #199 before uncle Jona's era... Jona is actually "working".

VickyRotex:
You do Norring bro...
Your the last breed jere #shakes hand

tanku Jor,I been tink say anoda breed dey nearby Ni.

VickyRotex:
Yinmu.... last breed kor, 1st breed ni

haaaaaaaaa!!!!! Werin I do u nah?!!

PrettyEmy:
Are they guys who can actually accept to date a girl without sex and will still stay faithful?
Please be sincere, I really wana know this

yes we still exist but we are very very few in number and I guess I should be the last breed in this part of the world.

kayzat:
Damage control things from Uncle Jona but its still shalow and clueless because he should have keep his mouth shut on the matter atleast pending the time he will have time to listen to the tape.



How can he pass judgement on what he is not ready to listen to? We need a change of government in this country.

Don't be surprised about the cluelessness of our dear president,after the October 11 Abuja bombing he did denied the fact that it was his militant brothers that were responsible for the bombing but alas! we all got to know who was behind the bombing in the long run. Uncle Jona has a way of putting the cart before the horse so everything he does or says will always bring out the cluelessness of his damaged brain. Why will the army torture a minor just because his elder brother is on the run? What will they have done to the soldier if indeed they had the gut to torture someone who has no idea about the said recording?. God will surely deliver us for the hands of a tyrant and we'll one day has a reason to smile again.

Game on!!!

agabaI23:
That does not mean that my story was cooked. Your problem is that you people think hate GEJ so much that even if he turns Nigeria to Buckingham palace, you will still find fault with that.

Buckingham palace?... He has only turned Nigeria to Afghanistan.

amsad19:
this man no get balls ooo after being stoned in yola he is telling us he kmw we like him... nawao oga jona wake up

maybe stoning is a sign of "likeness" in a village called Otuoke.

Cutehector4u:
Wat will he now tell God wen he gets to heaven now

unfortunately he won't have the "face" to face God since his face has been cut open!

Confused fella...

Liar!!... Jonathan promised never to build prisons so how come this man is talking 'bout new prisons nah?

justme002:
Wud have won that money if I was asked to list 100 achievements of GEJ!

. You don't need to list 100 of Jonathan achievements, just list one and I'll list 1000 where he actually failed.

We need more hands in fighting the insurgents up north and some ppl are just wasting the energy here. instead of this radicals cutting each other's head why can't they be move to the BH infested areas.

Well,I think 'illiterate' has suddenly acquired an ambiguous status of recent. When you are able to read,write,speak very good English and even function well in ur chosen field but the only issue is the fact that u don't have a tertiary institution certificate... Can such a person be referred to as an illiterate?

shedyman:
As is customary of me, I attended Dunamis Int'l, Abuja today, the 25th day of January 2015.

I parked my car at the garage created for that purpose. One of the ushers in grey suit menacingly approached me and sternly warned me not to park there. Cars were parked beside me without any warning issued to the other drivers.

I had to look around so as to be sure I was not missing anything, after doing this, I told the usher from the pit of hell that the spaces between my car and surrounding vehicles was wide enough for entry and exit (true to my word, the cars that were in the garage when I parked had moved out and other cars had parked in their stead).

At the close of service, I was shocked to discover my tyres had been maliciously deflated. Instinctively, I had to look around for the usher from hell who took offence that I had the audacity to challenge the reasonableness of his instructions, I was not surprised to find he was no where to be found.

Consequently, I approached one of the ushers on ground to make a harmless complaint, I was dumbfounded when he threatened he was going to beat me up if I don't take my car in the state of its deflated tyres out of the garage. I dared him, but sensing I was a little enlightened he exercised restraint.

These two attitudes I experienced today got me wondering what the church of today is turning into. Are these really the signs of end time? If workers in church put up these attitudes (albeit unjustly), can it be said that the preaching that comes up from the pulpit is in anyway purging society of evil, looting, corruption, prostitution and malice?

Whilst I respect the grace and will continue to respect the grace and anointing of the Senior pastor of the church, Dr. Paul Eneche, I wonder what a christian whose faith is still shaky will do in my circumstance.

This post is actually a clarion call for pastors to be wary of the character that surrounds them, because these workers are the image the public has of the church.

I won't comment until I hear the other side of the story...

Noted

"Stealing is not corruption" u can ask Jona incase u are not so sure about this assertion. Well,if Asiwaju is so corrupt and uncle Jona has no guts in putting him away then why are u here gloating?

Samchelsea:
We know them
.
.
.
The Jonathan administration has built more schools
than any other government so @APCNigeria and its
members can learn proper use of grammar #GEJisit

And I guess PEJ would rather be the first to enrol in those schools built by her husband administration.

rubey:
And who says he will see my pants

That means u won't be putting on any panties so there won't be any reason to see any pant... #teamdirectshot

noblezone:
Buhari has got this violent spirit abut him!Just mention Buhari and blood will somehow flow.

you are 'right', but the op stated that someone started the trouble by hitting the other on his chest. I guess just as GEJ is always blind to corruption the followers are also blind to truth.

Nigeria "giant" of Africa indeed... Smh.

Ploy:
Who built Aso Villa, GEJ?


Many of your type in Nigeria. God help my country.

help me ask dem Jare,their mumu no get 2nd class.

And now that there's no more witness can we proceed to the next case please?!... Pdp clowns.

boofydon:
You are not entirely right. Countries carry out such barbaric actions when they know they have nothing to loose. Let them try it with a U.S citizen na. Go and ask Cuba

And a U.S citizen will not commit such a crime as to warrant such a death sentence. We are so spoilt here in naija and we tend to handle most thing with levity hands. The rule is so clear!!! NO DRUG. And the penalty is also clear!!! DEATH. If anyone is ready to do the crime den he/she should be ready to do the time. It would have been sad if the law was made after the crime but the law has been made before the crime.

Maccoy1:
Will this make front page? If it does then.....











Then.....












































Then...i will make sure that.......






















































Let me not say it...

. Yaba "left" candidate.

Tenim47:
how old ar u den

what has age got to do with this nah?... Smh.

danaiks:
Did you know that in 1983, Chief Obafemi Awolowo contested at the age of 74 while Chief Nnamdi Azikiwe contested in 1979 at 75? Did you know that Ronald Reagan became US president at the age of 70 and served two terms of four years each? Just last December, Tunisia sworn in Beji Caid Essebsi as their President. Did you know how old is he? President Essebsi is 88 years old. The election that brought him in as president was the first free and fair presidential election since the country (Tunisia ) gained independence in 1956. If a 72 years old grand “Pa” (as the haters called him) can give me constant electricity, guarantee maximum security (stop the killings up North), put food on my table and stop corruption that a 57 years old young man who is suffering from an inferiority complex can not give then I will be a very big fool to refuse such CHANGE. So those making noise about BUHARI’s age should shut the hell up and give in for a great change.

SAI BUHARI

Tell them pls!!!!!!

One beautiful thing Buhari has done is dat he actually succeded in scaring the hell out of this pdp followers even before the election date. Buhari spent jst 2years compared to Jonathan 6years. Jonathan in his campaign was busy saying 'I WILL' while the actually words should have been 'I'm THROUGH WITH DIS AND THAT AND IF GIViN ANODA OPPORTUNITY THEN I WILL CONTINUE WITH THE OTHER SECTORS'... If Jona after spending close to 6years and couldn't come up with a completed assignment' den why is he requesting for anoda 4years? Ppl seems to be taking dis whole issue personal, I am not in anyway against Jona but I think PDP as a party has don enough and they can as well take a bow.

Beauties!!!!!