₦airaland Forum

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TV01:
Nor mind them. After they have flexed finished and it dawns on them the wall is fast approaching, the broda who wasn't "their class", that "small boy" of yore, or the fellow jambite who "no carry", suddenly seems a great catch.

No cry of marry your age mate back then 0! And I've seen them make such marriages happen by sheer force of will. It should be documented as a natural phenomena !

She meets you today, tomorrow it will be "what are we doing". Day 3 it will be "you don't know what you want". Day 4 is usually "other guys are asking 0". Day 5 "my cousin chrissy says...if you don't...then...". Day 6 "when are you coming to meet my people". . Wetin I no see? Men be sharp - such women shouldn't make it very far beyond day 2.

I couldn't believe it when I saw the "my wifes libido is dead" thread this morning. I actually wrote parts 2 & 3 last night, but I'm sure some will suspect that my alternate opened that thread - even I did. Dayuum...I too am amongst the prophets 0 !


TV

I saw that thread will read it

I hear more of this cases nowadays even offline

The woman forgets about the man once she gets her status as a wife and has kids

Let's herself go and focuses on her career claiming busy and tired
Some do it with finesse and respect
Others tell you u r no good


Those with conscience continue pleading

A man with less scruples may need to step out....

Interesting theories

innervoice:
This comment sheds new light on the whole matter. When discussing human se.xual behavior and mating preferences, it is necessary to include the biological point of view. Women do SOMETIMES prefer a certain genetical make-up in males, even if the preference is for males who are not the best and most caring providers in the long run (but rather freedom-loving, adventurous, independent, rough kind of guys).

HOWEVER, a woman's taste changes as often as her mood changes ... along with the different phases of the menstrual cycle. (If you want to understand women, study the moon )

At some point of her menstrual journey (through hell , mind you some women are extremely emotional ) she will like rough guys who give it to her hard and give her the thrill but at other times she will need a gentleman who will make her feel loved and understood, who she will not be ashamed to feel weak before.

Your job is to figure out when your woman needs what but do NOT make the mistake to behave like a mumu on tiptoes who is trying to please his woman 24/7. She needs to please you in the first place A woman who loves you will love pleasing you.

Now you are discussing like a human being not the attempt at nonchalantly dismissing what was being said when you made your first post
I like the bolded........


Don't you think a woman who regards herself as your peer will find it difficult to respect you as man

ApexTitan:
That's the alpha widow right there. It is kind of sad for the man who marries her. A life of misery for both partners.

More like black widow...lol

Ewuro4:
My argument is mainly against the overhyped Hypergamy.


@bold , Why do you think so? What are the factor(s) that makes an average 27yr old man not ready/ interested for marriage?

(If already discussed pls redirect me to the page )

Money and career

How many 27s are settled

In a few years yes....because of younger graduate from the private unis etc


Your challenge is that you look at the older generation who started work after secondary school

TV01:
Go young, young man, go young - Part III

It's relatively hard these days - not least because of the financial climate and the fact that maturity seemingly comes later? - for men to be “stable” enough to be ready for marriage much before 30. And more men are being pushed to the 35 – and even beyond - age range.

Most tend to be “bulge bracket”. Not fantastically rich celebs, or well-connected scions of well to-do families that can fast-track them, or ensure they are well situated, or simply guarantee a comfortable life whatever happens.

Those “above” the bulge bracket, and those who by sheer hard work or good fortune are able to move out of it, or at least rise to being the cream of it, will – with all due regard – have a wider, and for the most part, best choice of partners.

This is just normal, not least because women naturally gravitate towards them. Status pure and simple. For lots of women, anything below the cream is second best, and many strive to partner at that level for as long as possible.

When it dawns on her that, marriage – and children - are still a must, but wedlock to a cream+ is no longer a maybe – they all married younger, prettier, higher value women – they turn to plan B. You .

You. Who has finally gotten it together enough to get married. The hustle is paying off and you’ve scaled the ladder a bit – with the definite possibility of growing your status some more. You need someone who will appreciate your efforts, work with you, and support you being the man in your home.

Are you really going to marry someone of the same age who will be fixated on having children? Having had her focus on living it up, marring up, or moving up corporately? Are you are satisfied that she's an outlier; remains fantastically fit, has little or no baggage and isn't marrying you even a little bit out of desperation?

That even if she has totally routine births and has only 2, she will not balloon and transfer most of her affection to her kids (named after the cream that got away )- while her libido decamps? Perhaps relocates permanently, when she convinces herself she could have done better and deserves more?

If you going to be shamed into marrying your age-mate - unless that is your absolute informed choice - due to the fear of being called agbaya or grilled by parents? Then you are obviously not the man I'm writing to.

When I met and woo'ed my wife, I met all her family and presented myself accordingly. Of course I had to engage and get to know them, suffer the minor indignity of traipsing around sundry relatives homes and making an appearance at family occasions. All the while glad-handling and making small talk.

But I wouldn't be brought low, or take - directly or indirectly - ridicule. Why should I? The next in line - who had been in front of my WTB, but mis-judged - was keen to come back. And even though I love my wife to bits and am wonderfully blessed, I have no doubt I could have made a great marriage with her also - and she was even younger. Who can shame a confident man with the right bearing and approach?

It’s would seem to me, better to wife someone who appreciates you as a catch, and not a consolation. It would be better with someone coming into her prime and not someone past it. Better with someone you can strategically set your sights with and not someone who tactically settles for you.

By all means, regard her parents, but they didn’t make you and they can’t marry her. And even if you don't marry her, you will marry se?

As ever, feel free to ignore me, I’m just musing .



TV

Hahaba

Kids named after the fling
You the backup

Evulz...

Go on

debosky:
No you don't - what you pick is what you get, just as with anything else in life. Don't choose a money-grabbing pillager and expect a homely wife to emerge. It's really that simple.

Are u feigning

Are u saying u r not aware of the metamorphosis some women go through once they get the ring or utilise favourable laws

Why do we have prenuptial if we have nothing to fear

debosky:
Men have little to fear really. . . .if you marry a rapacious plague who just wants to extract value from you, it's all on you bro.

Your first statement sounds contradictory

You say I have nothing to fear yet you say its all on me if I am unfortunate to get a wealth plunderer who uses laws to extract my wealth

That is why I have to fear

Spy360:
Now jokes, fanatism and stupidity apart; Sunday's Community Shield between Arsenal and Chelsea will determine who is more the tactical between AW and JM as both teams have equal strength and depth. Being a 50-50 contest, no more excuses.

Noted

DonX001:
Go and do DNA test for your kids.....they might be dog kids, .....have you noticed any of them having this strange liking for bone??

damiso:
Eastern and western Nigeria you mean abi?

Yes I guess so.

Yep

damiso:
Hypergamy or marrying for status as TV on the part of the woman is more prevalent in the younger generation. Of course the older generation saw 'potential' as well but the women at that time did not mind starting from the bottom and building up together.

That said a couple of women in that generation got betrayed after struggling and starting together with their men only for them to be traded for newer models after the men made it or became comfortable

Some maybe the younger generation have just decided to just be the 'newer model' no more 'surulere' Na 'olorunsogo' dey now .

Note you are speaking in the context of the westerners

East the gap has always been solid

It's just reducing now...

ORALL:
I can't just imagine my son,bringing home one old and wear away cargo as his wife to be,..unless of course. Their wedding is gonna hold when am dead...

The younger the better,the younger the sweeter,the younger the hotter

Let's take our own omotola for example,assuming she got married at this her age,we all know how fat she will look,especially if she now puts to bed...there will be no more beauty in her,or oshiomole and patience jonathan as couple ewwwww...

Lol

Who be dis

jesusjewel1:
My dear...If leading companies wanna get back on someone,It won't take them a second to hesitate.
That's the story o.
I've added nothing... probably I wasn't told everything.
I'm amazed too. The company is a leading IT company in Nigeria.
Gets its contract directly from FG. Na so I take see am.

Ok

I suggest you get a lawyer and negotiate out or court

tearoses:
beats me

There is more to this story

When we see reputation

The company even stands to lose more if it gets out that their system is easily compromised

How did 100k multiply

It's still fuzzy

How did 100k become 3.5m

Explain properly

Did the customer use the platform to transfer more money

Truckpusher:
[s]I do not have time for controversial people when it comes to issues that is as simple as eating bread and drinking tea.
Run along.....[/s]

such a copout
Making unfounded assertions because it sounds good... tsk tsk

Kimoni:
Parents might continue to advocate for what they practised but if the couple themselves have another arrangement, it makes a nonsense of whatever the parents advised.

ok

jaybee3:
Perhaps there is the realization that couples are now expected to jointly contribute to the success of the union

ok

interesting..

I still know parents are averse when the man is not earning even if the lady is earning so I wonder the sudden irrelevance

cc: Kimoni

Kimoni:
The younger female singles are more likely to tick this box before marriage than the older singles. As a man, the lower you go, the higher the probability that you will be the sole breadwinner. And this is the reason why many guys will not marry young these days. They just don't have the means to provide fully for the home. But where you go for a matured single, she will be better able to share some of those responsibilities with you, down to the very basic ones sef. Well, times are hard so guys prefer this model now. Just that like I said earlier, you might then have to compromise on your "headship" or those things you consider ur basic right as the man of the house. Like the lady saying she would hire a chef and guys descended on her, but it's reality. He who plays the piper dictates the tune abi? But when two people are jointly playing the piper nko? They must both dictate the tune.

The first thing my FIL asked my husband then when he took me to him as his wife-to-be was - are you sure you are able to provide for this lady and the children that will come out of this union? That question is becoming more and more irrelevant these days.

why do u think its irrelevant nowadays?

Truckpusher:
If you don't understand that there is a difference between libido and sexual prowess, then I'm afraid it would be a waste of time trying to engage you.
Of course we are aware that a lot of men talk about sexual prowess they don't have .
You can always ignore the smileys.

why don't u school us.. learned one

edwife:
Pickabeau it was a question.I will like to know what happen after 30?

The question is vague

bukatyne:


You said a man's libido increases till mid 30s

What happens after mid 30s?

ok

There’s a lot of discussion about sexual peak, but it’s not measured in any consistent way. In terms of testosterone levels, men peak in their late teens. It’s also true that as testosterone levels decline, it takes longer to get an erection. And it takes longer after ejaculation before a man can achieve an erection again. But the reduction in testosterone isn’t generally measurable until age 30

When does sex drive end? For many men, it doesn’t. The way you make love and enjoy sex will likely change over time, as will frequency. But sex and intimacy can be a pleasurable part of aging.

http://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/sex-drive#InPregnancy4

Stop using smileys and bring posts supporting your assertions
cc Truckpusher

bukatyne:
Then what happens after mid 30s?

What happens when a 35yr old marries a 25yr old?

I don't know
You tell me

Lets see what theories he propounds

TV01:
Good spot. It may well be true at the extremities. I certainly didn't notice ! Plus what is the equivalent for women?

If we want to bring outliers into play, it's known that birth weight drops as women hit 28 and menopause can start at 32. We can only speak generally and relatively.


TV

Where did u get this information from ?

Truckpusher:
At 25 a man's libido starts to drop and this is normal though some folks starts experiencing it in their 30s as other things are beginning to occupy your mind unless for some guys with no job responsibilities ,idle and no ambition to push boundaries and this is one common reason poorer folks are likely to birth children like rats even as they do not have the same strength and mental energy to provide for these kids.

After a very hard day at the job and the hassles of life , the last thing on your mind is someone that will disturb your sleep and life all in the name of sex though the urge might just come naturally and it doesn't matter if you're tired too.

Finally , your sexual libido at an advance age can't be like that of a 19 yr old boy that hardly have access to puccy whenever he wants unlike a mature man that is married or has a standing army of girlfriends.
The thing Na food?

ok

bukatyne:
TV is obviously talking about 10+ and above age difference or 1/2 your age + 7 yrs rule.

5yrs gap are 'age mates'

Actually its not only on NL
U should know I don't buy the gospel of thing here

a lot of my contemporaries married ladies within 3- 5 years

The exceptions are the age mate marriage

The saying my money my money by ladies was not from NL but real life

tearoses:
Dont beleive everything you read on NL
The reality can be quite different
If you think about it, many girls say they cant marry a "poor" man
He has to be rich
He has to be caring (caring for some people means money )
He is too stingy bla bla bla

But in reality many wives work and use some of their salary to fend for the household.
So what happened?
Are the ones who say this not married or are they the few who married men rich enough for them not to work?

dmcdad:
And you seem to care about their bragging rights... Let them brag!

After watching games against Man Utd and Chelsea, I have come to love this team even more. Suarez is yet to give his best. This season would see Suarez unleash the dragon. That guy is a striker with animal instincts.

Glad he is our player. Only him na crowd for our opponents.

He is

I remember when he first met utd

see rio and vidic struggling on thr floor as he was swerving

he is raw

Kimoni:
Pickabeau, what is this? Is this meant for Kimoni?? When did you ask me all these questions??

hahaha.... its an open question

I have seen so many female posters saying guys their age are small to them

So why the brouhaha...

I think you lot just argue even in the face of reality\

I ask you did u date a person in your age brecket before u settled down\\if you did, is your husband in the same age bracket and what is the range\

On this same forum, you have posters saying they cant date their age mates from reasons ranging to being stingy , too immature and the vague NOT CARING aka no money etc

Once women don start to dey date older person, young guys no dey appeal again

Kimoni:
Really?? these days when men want to take charge of their wife's ATM and providing the required minimum (food, housing and shelter) in the home is seen as parasitic, because enough willing and "matured singles" are ready to hand over their salary in exchange for joint "headship" of the house and the guys are more than ready to accept these terms as long as they both share the financial responsibility? And to think they will even start hating on the ones that insist on doing things the old fashion way?

TV, is it the same planet we are sampling our men from

Kimoni:
Com'on Pick, I used the ring and proposal interchangebly in my write up, remember? The ring symbolizes the renewed commitment between them. So it's not just the ring but what it signifies. Them no dey sell ring for market ni?

Okay oo
So you support her move to coax a lifetime decision using tears and gragra?

damiso:
Children are perceptive very perceptive. even if they do not argue if front of their children children can see if their parents have a good relationship. Your point is I can't say they did not have conflict and my own point I can say that they had conflicts (you know I like to be real) but those conflicts were not as a direct result of the age difference. Those conflicts would have arisen even if there was a 20 year age gap.

As for someone starting out , a couple closer in age are often both just starting out and so would both need more resources in starting and sustaining a family. So all this flexibility talk is not really applicable. I don't know alot of couples close in age where the wife can afford(note the word afford) to take a career break to tend to family.

I need to go to bed, this NL is bad for my health joor.

No problem
Morning..

Kimoni:
There is a high probability I would do the same thing in her shoes. He could also have left the ring with her but still tell her he needed to think about it. I wouldn't want him to come back to me merely out of pity. As much as I would say the girl is at fault for not disclosing on time, I have to consider that it was a fast moving relationship and she probably didn't realise he would propose so soon. You wouldn't want to spill sensitive information like that to every Dick and Harry you date.

What's the issue with the ring

Is the ring a souvenir

Ifyou keep the ring and he decides not to pursue..what next?

Awkward!!

I now see women are obsessed with tokens and bits n bobs

The man is the main catch not the ring

Na wa