₦airaland Forum

In these paternity fraud cases, DNA does not really help

It typically allows the woman to have a strong say in who she thinks the father and bam!.. you are liable

cococandy:
Well I didn't see where it says that he was barred from DNA much earlier in the post.
So maybe then he didn't ask for it.

But it could get worse than that.
The legal option in my opinion only helps him avoid as more losses as possible.
It doesn't really guarantee him justice.

If the woman's defense can prove she didn't intend to defraud him, he may not be given any financial settlement on that score.
she could say she slept with the other man within days of sleeping with her husband and didn't know the pregnancy wasn't her husband's.
'Didn't care to know' isn't a crime.
'Was reckless' isn't a crime. Too bad huh?
The law is kind of too straight forward it is almost tricky. The burden of proof is on the accuser.
If they can't prove intent to defraud, there goes the case.
They can prove she cheated on him (which is not a criminal offense) and she can pay emotional damage for that if applicable.
But they may not really be able to prove that she set out to defraud him(which is the criminal offense. Or should be if it isn't already).
Except they can find correspondence between her and the real father of the child in which she let slip that she knows he's the father and her ex-husband is not. Then he can have something to hold on to.

There's not much justice in all of that for him.
Just the lesser of two not-so-good outcomes.

cococandy:
No pickabeau.

My first post is 'that's a better way to go about it.

Meaning he's doing it the better way compared some other guys who have been in his shoes.

You misunderstand that post.
Or maybe just looking for something that's not there

I didn't say 'there's a better way to go about it'.

Lol
You are right...its that's not there

My bad

Legal option is definitely better than murder however will you get that sense of justice considering he would have been barred from DNA much earlier or d results not regarded even if had one

cococandy:
Who told you I'm fighting you?

Anyway Read my first post again.

I said 'that's a better way of going about it'

You know, as against killing or doing anything violent that may lead him to jail and compound his losses.

Now that he has taken it to court, the judge will determine what's best. Maybe a fine or repayment. Even though I can say if all the money is returned to him (if at all possible) there isn't much that will pay him back for what he really lost (a son).
But It will help him prevent further losses that could occur if he takes the law into his own hands.

But your suggestion is exactly what he has done
Your initial post suggested there was a less attritional route

cococandy:
He's going about it the best way.

What should I say again?

Must every thing be a fight?

I wanted to hear your opinion since you thought tgere was a better way

Legal options also have issues but what will u suggest since he lost a lot of money to this fraud

cococandy:
That's a better way to go about it.

What would u propose in this case?

EggovinMma:

Are u Lynn petra

Ewuro4:
Pickabeau1 how much is the manny/mayweather fight, you have any idea?

300m usd

120 for money weather
80 for manny

MarvellousGod:
Mr. A can be classified as a cheat because he had a girl he was in a relationship with but still went on to date the Op..

There's a tendency of him still cheating in the future. .. Anyway if he and Op come back together and he cheats on her, I will say na Karma cos op also knew he had someone but agreed to be the side chic...


Op, just let Mr. A go....

Of course you have to find a way to blame the guy and not the super rich seeking missile...

Kaycee7:
If u liked Clash of Clans, then U'll luv Boom Beach also by Supercell.

Play this too.

RaptorX:
Thinking the same, look more like a two seater Cessna not a private jet. No way will a Cessna fly across the Atlantic to Jamaica except they are on a suicide mission.

Yep..lol

Aside from the fact that this plane does not look like a plane that can. Reach Jamaica

It looks like a simulator

So money was the major factor that sealed d deal
You stayed with him even though he had a second gf that u knew of...

I pity Mr B n hope he is richer than Mr A

Daresh:
Yes I do. School fees na die

lol.... i can imagine however they make life worhtwhile

I love this game

Daresh:
OP do you really love your wife? I'm talking real deep intense love that the you just want to be with her and none other? Or is it a case of let me just marry for marrying sake and have kids o jare?

The truth is, if you really love her, all these things wouldn't even matter. Love does not pick and choose, it loves no matter what. If you don't love her despite it all, I advice you to end it. Having children or not would not make you happy. Infact children cause tension as they drain family resources. If you don't love her, let her go.

do u have kids,,,

Dyt:



Give him Viagra

And you had to write exactly my thoughts?

great minds think alike

in case....


Work Me off, show me what you got
cos I don't want no One Minute Man

Dyt:
What happened to ur mouth?
Abi its bad as I passed a positive comment towards ur humanity?
*rolls eyes*

ok..

Dyt:
I could always find you here

can you help d lady?

cc: ifyalways

can we see pix of previous carnivals

He should encourage her to do something for herself too. Something that doesn't necessarily interfere with the big picture, something he can comfortably sit back and watch her do, while growing more in love and admiration for her.

Now this I agree with... a mutual vision

This is in dissonance with what was in the OP or maybe how I read it

I pray that you will forgive me and let me help you on your way


NO issue... its all cleared up

I saw your post.. MizMyColi

So if you believe a woman's goals are intertwined withthat of the man

How can it be about her way

Why drop everything so as to make it about her... should it not be the other way

She helping him actualize the vision

PaulCI:
Im glad you understand. Not all women are like this. I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. And by the "by your side" i meant being a real partner, a real helper, a real girlfriend or wife and not just a snatch and run girl

I feel u bro...

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies

MizMyColi:
Nice one PaulCI

@Beau, this one is simple.
The woman, as a result of constant put offs has developed a rather unwitting apathy to the man, and is channeling what she can muster of her self will to play out her part/way in this journey/path called life.

So, now he asks for her forgiveness, requesting that they slug it out together.
Two heads have always been better...

what is your opinion on the biblical injunction about a woman being a man's helpmeet/mate?

ur wife said this ?

the source of ur sorrow Is not far off....................for a man's enemies are those of his own household - matt 10. 36

is she working

agborodun:
She stood face to face with me reeling out my loads of sin to her,being d reason why she has refused to forgive me and she said if am not careful,I may never make it in life.
This was my experience with my wife when my pastor sent for her when He prayed for me after I lost my job and virtually everything I have laboured for in life.
Part of my "sins" are
1. Giving too much attention to our children more than her
2. Not setting up a buziness for her
3. Not allowing her family members to be living with us
4. Always correcting her when she go astray
5. Always teaching her in a hard way
6. Not always allowing her to have her way.

She promised to make my life miserable if I don't change.

What do I need to do?

wow.. such a quick one

sadly this is the mirror by which most women view men as a source of providence

No thought for his mental well being

gimme gimme gimme

PaulCI:
LETTER BY A FOOLISH WOMAN

Man, i am sorry.

Sorry that i have sat as judge and jury, weighed you on broken scales and found you over weight.

Man, i am sorry.

In my search for finer material things in my life, i have 'sucked' you dry and left you for another.

Man, i am sorry.

Perceiving myself as weaker, fragile, and you stronger and crude, i have used words, religion, nairaland, law, and ever increasing subtlety to keep this blackmail going.

Man, i am sorry.

For i have looked at you as my bank and the source of my endless stream of cash. I have looked at you as something to be used and dumped when a "bigger" bank opens up for business. Your wallet and "junior" bears the scars of my reckless spending and infidelity.

What have i done?

In my foolishness, i marked out a slot for your number in my phonebook and labeled it "maga one".
And kept the next slot for "maga two".

What have i become?

Seeking thrills, i have forgoten that "everyday for the thief, one day for the owner".

Man, i am sorry.

This is my repentance song.

The blue contact lens in my eyes have broken and now i can truly see.

I see that you still love me despite the plenty hurts that have come from me.

I see that your heart still beats well and is healthy despite the many heartbreaks i have caused you.

I see you unique, handsome, strong-willed, passionate, loving, gifted, full of life and magnanimous in showing love.

I marvel at your might and strength of character.

I see your courage in adversity, your wisdom and strength and now my heart trembles at your awesome persona.

I pray that you will forgive me and let me be my your side, that i might witness your vision and glory darkened by my quest for "silly wisdom", for now i know that in my search for luxury and wisdom i found foolishness!

MizMyColi:
I think he means, the eyes with which women were viewed in the times of our fathers.

Makes sense

Besides, now that I think of it, what's so bad in admitting that I have been acting foolishly as touching certain worldviews....

Nothing wrong

However what does this mean?


I pray that you will forgive me and let me help you on your way

MzNelly:
Okay.

Because of MizMyColi -_-

(I won't however take back my statement. Half of the comments here are made by egoistic males who've refused to actively task their brains to uncover the message behind the piece.)

ok// peace

interestingly... I don't see it as a piece written by an emasculated man but one who has not considered the impact of his actions on his lover's psyche

however the title is the issue

"Foolish" evokes defense

Also some of the points are not necessarily bad

A woman needs a place and not the whole place. Until women understand men compartmentalize/.. its all a futile chase for them

MizMyColi... what does lens of my father mean

Ultimately its about the man helping the woman on her way... which way exactly

The lens of my father lies broken now and for once I truly see
.
,
.
.
I pray that you will forgive me and let me help you on your way