₦airaland Forum

Timbuktou:
In the words of MI, Rita Lori chick forming Rita Ora


Baba, I'm thinking of instituting a NL kitchen where all these women can arrange the younger girls to be cooking tasty meals while we argue here. We need to replenish our energy somehow.

As in...
The cooking thing is a big issue
You see cats who don't blink an eyelid getting into bed with their boyfriends but wil growl when you tell them to cook or clean up
Cleaning is more stressful than sex

You find it easier to get n@ked than cook.... choi


Seriously I ask again

every naija man is bad yet our resident femmes just happen to have good fathers, husbands, brothers who are the exception
If everyone's man is the exception, who are the bad naija men

^^^ finally someone who lives in the same Western 'paradise' (as some of our ladies here put it) and can say it for what it is

Too many ladies here just assume abroad - everything is dandy

Too much naija men bashing

Don't we have white trash abroad
Don't we have white people on benefits?

Yet sell these girls abroad is utopia and they flock like moths to the flame

---

Rather than male bashing which is orgasmic for some here the focus should be on improving male participation

And for those who want to know how much of a topical issue distribution of chores still is...even in the UK

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-206381/Working-women-housework.html

Working women 'still do housework 'by ROBIN YAPP, Daily Mail
Women still have to do the lion's share of housework despite going out to work in ever increasing numbers.
Researchers found that they spent three times as long on domestic chores, such as cooking, cleaning and washing, as their husbands or partners.
Some female breadwinners, however, have to shoulder the burden of all the housework as almost one in five men admitted to doing nothing at all around the home.
The average for women was 17 hours a week, compared to just under six hours for men.
But more than a quarter of wives and girlfriends spend more than 21 hours a week on domestic chores.
These times exclude childcare, which is also traditionally far more likely to fall on women.
[b]The findings come despite the best intentions of most men, who agreed that they should share the burden by doing more housework.
[/b]Gender inequalities 'rooted'
Researchers said the survey results meant women would not achieve equal opportunities at work until their menfolk contributed more to looking after the home.
"Gender inequalities in all areas are rooted in social structures but also in attitudes," said Professor Gillian Robinson, of the University of Ulster.
"It is difficult to see how women will ever have the same opportunities in the labour market if equality at home is not achieved."
In the survey, 1,800 men and women were asked about everyday chores, such as the laundry, cleaning, cooking, food shopping, looking after sick relatives and carrying out repairs. But men only made a significant contribution by mending faulty items around the house.

At least two-thirds of women said it was usually them who carried out the other tasks, rising to 85 per cent for doing the laundry.
Men 'should pull weight more'
[b]More than half of men and even more women, seven out of ten, agreed that men should pull their weight more.
[/b]Similar proportions also believed that men should also be more involved in looking after children.

iykedare:
lol
Don't mind these women here.

Everybody's marriage is good yet Nigerian marriages are bad

bukatyne:
Always dodging... can I see some posts where I dodged? I like proof you know

So it does not happen in my marriage means it does not happen else where or it means I should close my eyes to what I see?

So what is your frame of reference

If your sphere of influence does not have men who are tied of their wives' aprons so what is the correlation to say this is a typical Nigerian marriage

im sure you know what typical means

having the distinctive qualities of a particular type of person or thing.
"a typical day"
synonyms: representative, classic, quintessential, archetypal, model, prototypical, stereotypical; More
distinctive, distinguishing, particular

•normal, average, ordinary, standard, regular, routine, run-of-the-mill, stock, orthodox, conventional, predictable, unsurprising, unremarkable, unexceptional;

antonyms: atypical, unusual, abnormal, exceptional

If it is typical, that means a lot of females are also having these kind of marriages....

bukatyne:
@bold, you really don't mean that

Until we all acknowledge the problem, there will be no solution

As usual.. always dodging questions

You lot come here and say typical typical

Is it happening in your marriage .............. you lot will say NO
Is it or Did it happen in your parents marriage..........you lot will say NO
Is it or Did it happen in your siblings marriage................you lot will say NO

Then you will say NO

where are these bad marriages If its happening elsewhere BUT not in your environs...

Then why do u come online and say typical typical

DollyParton1:
Please dont let me repeat myself, we are talking about an average naija family Mr, not you and your wife.

How many families have u seen where the woman is the chief breadwinner

bukatyne:
I see women beaten everyday, you see men set up daily and volia! we cannot relate because we are not looking at the same things.
What the OP portrays is very real around here and it does not depict a weak man, it depicts a overburdened wife.

How many families have u seen where the woman is the chief breadwinner
How many have u seen where the woman is overburdened

nicequeen:
Anytime they have a little disagreement, no matter how little, he'll refuse to sleep on the same bed with her and rather sleep in the sitting room. He just kips doing this, even when she tries to call him to bed he shouts at her and they wouldnt even pray that night, even the next morning. He'll go to work without talking to her, only for him to call during work hours to ask how she's doing.
He's just done it again cos they had a little disagreement which she didnt disclose. She's very hurt and wants to know wat to do to about it (she has a 3 month old baby so she cant leave her on the bed alone).
I've told her i'll call her back in the daytime. Pls your mature advice.

what are the issues causing this little little disagreements
Why is she not listening and modifying the bad behaviour

why would u be shouting.... when the effort(constant begging, calls) is not commensurate with the reward (distance, parents issue) maybe a venture is not worth it

Please notify us how it goes on this saga with your user name in the next 6 months

I wish u d best

Bulkfella:
Thanks so much everyone, your comments have been of immense help, however I don't want to rush things. Reading through your comments yesterday gave me some momentum and drive to call it quit, but as I called her yesterday we had a heart to heart discussion and after I analyzed the whole situation it turned out that I'm partly responsible for the way things turned out. I believe I haven't been understanding enough because sometimes when I call her and she's acting cold she does ask me to call back but I always shout and make it an issue......and also I think what infuriated her was when I sent her a message about all the sacrifices I made just for her and all that she was like, I'm making it look as if She's not worth it and all that, we however ended the whole matter on a light note, she said she still loves me but doubt my love for her, I re-pledged my love for her and she did likewise. I just want to give it my best shot, I think if after now it doesn't work, then I'll be the fool to continue day dreaming........I appreciate all your messages that's why I decided to give an update....gracias!!! ciao!!

Shollypopzz:
Both sexes can be cheats.

OK

No wahala

Shollypopzz:
I will pay you $100 if u can find a link that supports your claim.

You'll find out with time. "Cheating is not a one gender thing" and I'm too lazy to type.

Lol..don't bother about the 100 dollars

However your second statement has not refuted your earlier held beliefs rather it strengthens it

From a POV that all men cheat now its both sexes cheat

Is that right?

Shollypopzz:
Post a link that proves your claim.

Let's leave that for now
I will look for information to back that up

I still ask

What do you believe now about men

Shollypopzz:
What I believe now is clearly stated in that post.

Show me a research that says parents are more influential in a child's life than the child's environment, and community.

Most children grow up seeing their parents as perfect, so perfect that they are not human. My dad was an obvious exception to the rule in my mind.

Your post just said the ideology did not last for long
Hence i asked

What do you believe

On research of influence of family vs environment... I think family is more crucial for the early years

Shollypopzz:
Let me give an example that might help you understand my POV. I have never caught my father cheating but because of my friends and the society I grew up in, I believed that all men cheated. It had been ingrained in my mind subconsciously from my environment and from other people's stories and relationships. I remember a guy (17 at the time) asking me out at age 13 and for whatever reason, he brought up cheating (Can't remember the details, it's been a few years). I remember telling him that, "Well, I expect you to cheat. That's what guys do". Basically, I was telling this guy that he could cheat on me and I wouldn't be mad. Can you imagine?! At such a young age, I had believed the lies that I kept on hearing. He even thought I was super cool for saying that, which made me feel like what I was saying made sense.

This ideology didn't last for long but at times, I find myself still unlearning the bullsh1t that growing up in a patriarchal society teaches you. You could have sowed the first seed in that girl's life by telling her that it is possible for someone to love her without hitting her. I hope by the time she realizes it, it's not too late.

So what do u believe now

Its funny how u rated your environment while growinh up to be more influential than ur own family unit

Daddy never cheated yet you believed all men did

UjSizzle:
It's been established Stefan is her emotional switch. Caro asked for a year off and assured them she would control herself if they let her. Stefan interfered. So she wants Stefan's humanity gone so he's no longer a threat to her switched off humanity.

Make sense?

Na wa

She reminds me of a witch In last scene

Yes He did..pukes

bukatyne:
Culture where nothing happens to men when they cheat and the wives run mad?

Even when it is the husbands that die, There is the widows rituals

If a man decides his wife would not do a,b,c What happens?

These are just very general cases.

This cheating thing must have really done a number on you woman

Na wa...

So because of cheating which involves BOTH men and women , women now have the right to shuffle their exes for money

OK

Another beautiful failure.

pickabeau1:
Ujsizzle


Funny episode so far

Kai having conscience for what he did to bonnie
Caro having no conscience at all

So unlike her

Finally saw the episode
What does Caroline vain from Stefan's inhumanity

Its a long night

bukatyne:
Supporting the woman reaping where she did not sow because men did in the past is not payback but wickedness...

I was pointing out that the issue of having privileges without checks did not start with women.

Can u expatiate more on what you mean by men having privileges without checks

Fhemmmy:
Cos this is a different case, i go case by case and section by section of the law . . . .

Hmmm..... there was no difference
That was paternity fraud

This is still a kind of paternity cum relationship fraud where an ex is claiming entitlement to riches made after she divorced

coogar:
he is now born again!

Lol

Fhemmmy:
This is the type of woman that made men insult women . . . it is sickening and sad that someone could do such and the law that even allowed her to be able to is pathetic.

But..

Bro you were arguing that the law is fine and dandy a few weeks back

bukatyne:
Like men did not have it so for long

Welcome to the before before world of women.

do u say this is payback for the way men had it for long

I thought u were condemning the judgement earlier

crackhaus:
I can never get over this gif, hilarious.

lol

My condolences to the family

such a beautiful woman

zicoraads:
Hmmm...I did think of it. And am still thinking of it. It's only the thought of disappointing someone who has put so much hope in me and whom I had made promises to that is disheartening.

You may take a trip later
Send the money instead

DeCritique:
Yeah, on May 29th, the first family will be employing the services of several helicopters to transport the extended relations of the first family from Otuoke to Aso Rock for the swearing in ceremony of His Excellency, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan for a second tenure. You know they can't afford to miss it

Lets see

Lols

bukatyne:
Lols

Tomorrow, men say the child is theirs and they used a woman when the relationship ends innit?

Hahaha

Bia pick, who owns a child?