₦airaland Forum

My dear sister, there is nothing God can not do.
My first question do you still love your husband?
Have you really ask God what He want you to do concerning this your divorce?
From what you wrote, you have a clear conscience and fear of God, Have you ever have a meeting with God in your prayers?
Have you tabled your plan/desire before God?
Seek God's face and God Himself will guide you.
I believe and I know God has not conclude your marriage. There is something God want to do in your life and it is better you seek God's face more and more.

Trust God and trust God to do the best for you. Shallom

I believe one day the youths will rise and take back this country. How can a country with high level of unemployment spent such huge of money without an economy value. Going to Mecca or Jerusalem should be on personal level and such individual should sponsor it.

90 billions can build manufacturing company, hospital or high mechanized farm that can feed the nation. Who do us like this ooooo?
May God forgive them for been wasteful. We must set our priority right and save ourselves from these embarrassment and future hardship. Nigeria wake up.

Never beg someone to love.
Many red flag that both of you are not for each other.
Move on with your life, even if she come back for you, do not.

It sound easy to kill another human being than yourself. In life there are consequences to each action, if you are not ready to be a father why having sex.

Many people are not happy with people kidnapping and killing people for nothing, many people are not happy because Boko Harram are cuting people lives short.

Many people are not happy when they heard people kill someone. But people are advising someone to kill an innocent person that has potential to be the one person Nigeria need to change the country and the world.

Everyone was created for a purpose and some people are suffering because someone somewhere kill their destiny helper through abortion.

Life is beautiful, Shed no blood, it seem simple but it could hurt for ever and even in eternity. Live and let live. A word is enough for the wise

The story is not true and is not possible because such priest will face the wrath of the catholic church. Even in court in the whole a catholic can not be a witness.

For non catholic, there is what is called Seal of confession. No priest in the Catholic Church will dare do that.

I went to my bank to transfer dollars to my US partner, I was asked to withdraw naira from my account and they gave Mallam's number to get the dollar from and come back to deposit the dollar.

The question you should ponder on why can citizen go to the bank to get dollars. CBN and commercial banks know what to do. Don't put your personal problems on people or company.

Which children, this money can be used to build industries and their parents will be employed to take care of their children. Why are we borrowing to feed children in school.

What is wrong with our leaders. An avenue to steal fund. During Buhari tenure, Billions of naira was looted to private pocket and we were told that the money was used to feed children during the locked down. God please come to our aid quickly. Our leaders are eating the future of our children yet unborn.

No elders to tell these leaders the truth??

It is very painful when you are in a wrong relationship. Your opinion is not totally correct. We still have ladies in their 30s, 35s even 40s that are very good and descent. You probably have not met such. I got married to a lady over 30 years and she was not a liar. A friend got married recently to a girl who is above 30 years and she was a virgin.

Not all older girls are bad some also were used by men and dumped at the last minutes. Pray to get the right partner and men too are also very bad if not worse.

Finally stop sleeping with any one till you are married. Sex is exclusively for married people. Sex is not just fun but entering into a covenant of blood.

Singles be very careful that lady or that guy that you are sleeping with in the name of fun may cause your downfall. Once you are ready to marry. Pray and ask God for direction. No one is perfect. Shalom I am a guy

Sex is not just physical but far deeper than that. Any person you have sex with, you have enter an altar and a covenant with blood. Run away from sex for the sake of your life and future children.

If you must have sex, it must be with your wife or your husband. Many youths and married people have all destroyed their lives by having sex with persons that are not their wives and husbands (which they think they are enjoying now) but in real sense destroying their destiny and that of their children.

Sex is deep stop destroying your life. Be focus, you are made for a purpose, discover your purpose and pursue it and then you can marry and start having sex. You do yourself a big good by not having sex before marriage. A word is enough for the wise.

The truth must be told, if you built a company, spent all you have to built the company to a level that millions comes in as profit every month, can you hand over such company to an outsider? the answer is No. Don't be deceived it either to their wives or children or member of the family.

Except for some (which are very few) that are really into winning souls for the kingdom will hand over to some one outside their families. Most churches in the world are purely companies. May God help us and deliver us from greed and give us the Holy Spirit to lead us in all we do. Amen. Shalom

It is unthinkable that a man can begin to have a feeling for a fellow man. Anus is to discharge waste from the body why will sane man want to have sex through Anus. It is disheartening and demonic period.

For the sake of your children education, you can relocate to some countries that will pay you and your family for relocating or some school that you offer scholarship to international students.

Search on the net, you will find these countries and even on you tube.

Since you have not been in business before I will strongly advice against going into business, it is not as easy as that especially with the current situation in Naija.

For farming I invested in farming I regretted it because there are certain things I was not aware of, it is very easy to calculate expected profits on paper but not on reality.

Many countries are looking for you and your family, UK and Canada are out of these countries please.

Check you will get one.

In case you decided to remain in Naija, don't invest on business that you don't know anything about please and don't give that money to anyone to help you do the business. Hmmmm speaking from experience.

run ooooo

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Like someone explained above

1. Have a meeting with your wife and explain to her that you are a man and that you love her so much and respect for her and marriage dignity. Tell her everything and let her know that you cherish your marriage and you will never allow anything to destroy your home.

2. Since she is working tell her it is time for her to get apartment for her self, don't get involve please

3. Try and distance yourself from her and tell her straight that you are not comfortable with the way she dresses especially when you are around

4. Your dreaming about her is of spiritual and the earlier you tackle it the better for you.

5. Marriage is sacred and most marriage has been destroyed by husband and wife in allowing grow up adults to live with them

6. As a marriage counselor, I have handled many cases like it and most of them completely destroyed the peaceful home

7. In case your wife is not seeing it from this angle, please do all you can to convince her including involving her pastors or imams or any one she respect.

8. As a marriage man and disciplined man do all you can never to sleep with her please.

Next is for the head of the family, the husband to call for a meeting and have one on one open discussion with his wife.
The head of the house should be ready to bury her ego likewise the wife and come to give and take conclusion.
Marriage is sweet and with forgiveness, commitment and dedication it is fun

No problem is too difficult to handle in marriage. Understanding and forgetting your ego is key. Honestly it is far better to live in peace.

My dear brother life is not fair and as a result one need to take a very calculated risk. Marriage on the other hand is a war room.
Again, killing an innocent baby because is SS is a planned murder and at the end each of us will give account to God on judgment day,
Thirdly the cost is expensive and as a young man trying to start life it may not worth it
Fourthly any thing can also happened to the girl that her family and yours may regret forever
Fifth, there is a law of cama and the blood of any child that is terminated may have consequence in life later

Therefore, my humble suggestion is to avoid the problem as some one put it above, avoid setting something on fire and believing the fire fighter will turn it off.

Love is a good thing but the journey of marriage is far, love is a foundation but love alone can not sustains marriage when the going become rough.

Don't believe you can walk through fire and you will not be burned or swim in a water without water touching you.

Life itself is full of up and down, try and avoid any thing that can easily bring it down

Such a touching story,
the mistake has been made already. As a father of boys of similar age, dialogue and guiding them on what they want to do is the best way to handle them and not imposing or forcing them to do what you want them to do. The young boy is going through pains and has lost his self esteem. Getting people to beat your first son at that age as a correcting measure is one of the worst way to bring up a child. The damage has been done but can still be repair if your husband will do the needful by allowing the boy to be what he want to be.

Suggestion solutions

1. The father should met him and apologize for his mistake of trying to control his life instead of guiding him and also apologize for getting people to beat him
2. As a mother you know your son better, do everything you know he like to bring him closer to your self and then to the father, he is not happy with the father but may still have some soft area with you.
3. Get him to talk and be ready to guild him, As a trained counselor I handled a case of a boy who study what his parent want and later go bad to study what he wanted and refused to forgive his parent for wasting his precious time.
4. A regular checking on him and helping him to get his self esteem is required.
5. Changing of environment is a MUST because he will always fill unhappy seeing those boys that flogged him
6. Your husband must as a matter of priority stop controlling the boy, once a child become a teenager, it is dialogue, constant meeting with him on what he want or need to become what he want to be should be part of the healing process.
7. He might also need to see a counselor and the father also need to see a counselor on how to bring up children.
8. My dear mother you also failed in not talking to your husband. You know you can force a horse to the river but you can never force the house to drink.
9. We need wisdom to handle children of nowadays they are quite different from our generation
10. Above all prayers and nothing you be forced on him now.

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If you do you are digging your grave. It will not end well both here on earth and in the next. Be wise young man. Run for your life and don't start destroying your life. Remember also what goes around comes around.

Sex is only for husband and wife, sex with someone else apart from your better half is a disgrace and lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage. There is life after here

can it go for 2m serious buyer

Pls take the first comment serious.

Starting business is not just having 2m in fact of the time business is not all about the money you have. So quitting as for me is not an option.

I know banking job is stressful too as a mother however, consider the following

1. Relocation, getting a family members to stay with you I am not comfortable with nanny (personal view anyway) there are still some good ones if you are blessed.
2. Increase your saving culture and have a target
3. Start learning the business you want to start online or offline spend your leisure time with someone who is into that business
4. Have a mentor or get a feasibility study of what you want to do
5. Start the business while you still maintain your job.
6. Grow the business and learn the up and down (Let someone run it for you for now for you to have an idea) sometimes some businesses are very good in paper but not good in practical. I have been involved in many businesses so I know what I am talking about.
7. Trying your best to cope with your present situation and adjust gradually, your decision for not may be bias. But honestly I like the way you seek advises it is good but what you make out of us these matter.
8. Do invest on what you don't anything about or business you will not be in control. Do not give the money to any one in fact as banker you should know better. Save and invest and get returns in the financial system.
9. Above all please discuss with your husband and two of you should consider the options and work together as a team.
10. Lastly don't quit now. A bird in hand is worth million in the bush.

When I was working, I have my company that was giving me almost my salary. I had an investment that was also giving me about half of my salary so by the time I was leaving to face business, the monthly expenses was not left unattended to.

What kills business is when the owner depend on profit for daily survival hence before going into business, you must have enough money to take care of your monthly expenses for the next 1 year or more. Business need to grow before one start eating the profit and even the capital.

Shallow

Most marriages that are in crisis today knew from day one that it is not working but they keep managing till the eventuality happened. Some men or woman will help you to achieve your dreams while some will drag you down. If you are my sister I will tell you that the worse people to marry in life is people with television but without vision.

Two options

1. Run away so that your marriage will not end in sorrow
2. Take her for anger management course and then if she change marry her if not run run run and run

Never you scold your mother no matter what not even for a small girl she can give birth to.

There some clear bad signals to avoid in people you want to marry. This is a clear one.

Wish you the best while I hope you use your head,

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My brother thank you for sharing because we learn everyday. You need to address the following in your home to have a happy home.

1. Communication gap. There is lack of communication both verbal and non verbal
2. Openness to each other. The two of you should be open to each in all things. she told you a lie because she is afraid of telling you the truth
3. Lack of care - if you care enough you should have notice the discomfort of your wife as a result of that infections.
4. Lack of trust - if there is trust she will confidence tell you the truth but she is afraid you may read meaning to it and that is what you have done.
5. Lack of intimacy - how many times do two of you have your bath together? how often do you play with each other both up and down and every part of the body? Have you help her to shave recently? etc. She is your wife and you are the husband, both of you become one.
6. Not your best friend. Make her your best friend so that she can let you know something ordinary you might have know.
7. Be sensitive toward her, e.g after google and you know the reason, you should said my dear I am so sorry so you have this toilet infections that is why you are using this cream, you did not tell me, hope you very fine? sorry my dear. This is how to treat your wife. To say you nag and can block you is because you are sensitive to her needs.

Finally, what women need are Affection, Attention and Appreciation.

Tell her you love her and do things to show that you love her in word and actions.
Try to be with her most of the time, listen to her, give her most of your time, stop chatting when you are with her. Spend quality time with her. Let her have your attention any time any day. Let her know and feel you are for her and no one else
Appreciate all the good thing she has done, appreciate her beauty, her hair, dress just appreciate her, get a card and just write I love you and I will love you for ever. Say nice things to her

Stop using words that are not good and that can land you into trouble. You will kill her. If you love her and care for her, you cannot use such words. Use words that will encourage her and not words that will make her to block you.

Some one made some suggestions above, you should consider it. Buy what she like, apologize, treat her nice and take her out. Love and cherish her. Please let her work or start a business for her.

God bless your home.

Peter (Marriage Counsellor)

Thank you for sharing this, I am happy for you. Not all lecturers are bad.

May God bless him and his family, amen.

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