Phones › Re: Oppo Reno3 Pro Unboxing, First Impressions And Long Term Review + Price (photos) by politeme: 4:45pm On May 15, 2020 |
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Health › Re: My Experience As A Covid 19 Survivor. by politeme: 1:36pm On May 15, 2020 |
Davash222: Thank God for your life.
Do they serve Beer at the isolation centre??  |
Culture › Re: Who Knows Any Igbo Name That Starts With Letter P? by politeme: 1:33pm On May 15, 2020 |
puisinwaogaranya |
Romance › Re: Which Girls Do Men Prefer: Fat Girls Or Slim Girls? by politeme: 9:24am On May 15, 2020 |
ZINIBANKS: Please any fat girl in the house should reach out to me my love for you no be for here   |
Health › Re: Covid-19: Nigeria Didn’t Ask Madagascar For Cure, They Gave Us ― FG by politeme: 8:43am On May 15, 2020 |
Instead of giant of Africa to swallow their pride and accept the drugs in good faith, they are here denying ever wanted to get the medicine from Madagascar |
Family › Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by politeme: 5:13pm On May 14, 2020 |
tunmiluabi: My story is quite long, please run through with patience.
I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...
As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.
We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.
To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.
One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.
To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.
Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.
After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.
Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.
She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.
The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.
God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.
Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.
My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.
Thanks for reading.
Tunmi Thank God you finally made it, that woman is not GOOD at all, what is 170,000 naira that she is bragging! Ladies that earn 250,000 naira no dey even talk, not to talk of that change.... congratulations |
Family › Re: I Killed This Snake Near My Toilet At Midnight, Help Needed (Photo) by politeme: 11:57am On May 14, 2020 |
Designer123: Early this morning (around 12:02 am), I saw this snake on my lobby close to my toilet. I don't know where it came out from but there is a hole on my toilet where I usually see cockroaches. There is also an ant hole close to the toilet door. I don't know if it came out from any of those holes.
Also, does any one know the characteristics of this snake? Is it poisonous?
Do you think the snake offspring will be in my house?
This is the first time I am seeing snake in my house (the house is 11 years old). What can I use to repel snakes around my house?
Please help, I really need to address this. There is a 3weeks old baby on the other apartment. Thanks. OP, are you living downstairs? if yes, ensure all your environs are neatly kept, cover every hole in the house. |
Romance › Re: Dear Men, What Do You Really Want With A Nigerian Lady? by politeme: 11:26am On May 12, 2020 |
Most times the manner some men talk down on women is really worrisome, one gave me the bashing of my life recently. Well, for me i didn't do anything bad that i can remember. Just that in his mind, he thinks am a cheating type thus not telling him the truth. In Nigeria, everyone is just confused, men/ women everyone is confused. Imagine raining insults that a lady is fake, how? This love journey no be here oooo |
Romance › Re: My Fiancée Deletes Chat On Facebook After Conversation by politeme: 2:35pm On May 08, 2020 |
All this guys self, i equally do that too. As a matter of fact, I will give you my password so that you can look at whatever you want. Life is not like that anyways, good women dey oooo, nah trust issue nah im be the wahala. |
Travel › Re: Car Crushes Man Making Video Call To Girlfriend On Abeokuta-Siun-Sagamu Express by politeme: 9:28am On May 07, 2020 |
I don't think that man is dead, nairalander's make una get sense small now, But this video call thing, i hate it with all my heart.. Just make call and move on, someone will just be asking you to send your nude pictures and all that, to me it is pure nonsense . |
Business › Who Have Received Consignment From Aliexpress During This Pandemic by politeme(op): 9:10am On May 07, 2020 |
Please am just curious, the items I purchased since February are yet to arrive, Please have anyone received anything from Ali express during this lock down in Nigeria. Any info will be highly appreciated, money is just static somewhere................................. |
Career › Re: I Need A Loan Of 50k To Repay 55k by politeme: 9:01am On May 07, 2020 |
busted seriously,wahala dey oooo |
Food › Re: Yam Porridge Recipe by politeme: 5:55pm On May 02, 2020 |
I made mine today,tiger foods Sabi better thing |
Sports › Re: Best Football Academy In South East by politeme(op): 9:54pm On Dec 30, 2016 |
Loogan: Abuja academy has a strong reputation right now in terms of talents development, even in Europe, I would suggest that.....if he is really that good please encourage him play football.. OK. thanks...please do you know any one by name.... once more,I appreciate |
Sports › Re: Best Football Academy In South East by politeme(op): 9:54pm On Dec 30, 2016 |
Loogan: Abuja academy has a strong reputation right now in terms of talents development, even in Europe, I would suggest that.....if he is really that good please encourage him play football.. OK. thanks...please do you know any one by the name.... once more,I appreciate |
Sports › Best Football Academy In South East by politeme(op): 10:53pm On Dec 29, 2016 |
For d football gurus in the house.please the boy staying with my mum is highly talented in playing football.I really want to sponsor him d best that I can...but as at last year he preferred furthering his education, lately he told me that he has made up his mind to play football..I want him to join a football academy preferably in d south east before proceeding further else where...please advice |
Investment › Re: Mmm Call Center Finally Launched by politeme: 1:14pm On Dec 28, 2016 |
Mmm d bumb!!! |
Politics › Re: Defeat Hunger, Not Recycled Story Of Defeating Boko Haram – Fayose Tells FG by politeme: 6:25am On Dec 27, 2016 |
Aufbauh: Seems Fayose is not happy with the defeat of boko haram. The fight that his clueless master GEJ could not win throughout his reign, his nightmare PMB did the impossible less than 2years so it is expected. Have they defeated book haram cos bomb still dey blast...yeye statement. |
Jobs/Vacancies › Re: God Gave Me A Nice Job As My Xmas Present -PHOTO by politeme: 8:27pm On Dec 24, 2016 |
himkers: lalasticlala, come and rejoice with me o! congrats,please where is the office located so that I can drop my CV too. who knows how God works... |
Christianity Etc › Re: How Is Christmas Preparations In Your Location? by politeme: 5:28pm On Dec 23, 2016 |
hold up dey Onitsha sha.....but every every dey happen.. queue for ATM....relief..oshanja and main mrk...road blocked... keke people dey exploit peeps here |
Politics › Re: FG Declares 26th, 27th December And 2nd January Public Holidays by politeme: 6:00am On Dec 22, 2016 |
my vacation starts 23-4th January 2017.. I never become FG pikin......still hoping sha..meanwhile make I cool off for sometime sha. |
Phones › Re: New Smartphones Expected To Be Released Early 2017 by politeme: 5:52am On Dec 22, 2016 |
Catalin: Which phone should we be expecting from techno and infinix in 2017? hahaahaaa....on point.A bottle of Star Radller for her |
Jobs/Vacancies › Re: Omg!!! I Just Got A Job I Didn't Apply For! by politeme: 1:59am On Dec 22, 2016 |
really touching....congrats |
Sports › Re: John Utaka Wins Japanese League Highest Goalscorer Award by politeme: 9:08pm On Dec 21, 2016 |
come over to England let's know how far...Japanese club  |
Politics › Re: Fayemi Christmas Rice Hits Ekiti Towns (photo) by politeme: 8:17pm On Dec 21, 2016 |
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Business › Re: First Bank Has Not Resolved My Failed Transaction Since October 5th by politeme: 7:22pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
ponzi bank...dey freeze ur account too |
Crime › Re: Man Having Sex With A Goat In Ondo Caught by politeme: 2:13pm On Nov 07, 2016 |
Na them,ndi ofe oil |