₦airaland Forum

What i want is the world's free se.X day. A day that if u ask any girl or any guy for sex and he or she refuses, u will have the right to report him or her to the police and u must have sex with him or her that day.

People of this country sef!

I hereby heartly and willingly dash and dedicate the 2 goals we received yesterday from conga match to them....one goal each.

Nuellah02:
Which kain hardship. The niqqa ain't broke jorr! With 650k, he could a been a boss! It's GREED!

Sorry ma'am, I think the right word is "greed" and not "hardship". Thanks for pointin it out!

I blame the stupid gals for this. Almost every gal wil tell u or list "guys with pink lips" as their ideal boyfriend, so some silly guys are doin everythin to hv pink lips.

This is not right

Hardship!!

I don't see any gain in NYSC, let it be abolished!

I love sex so much............

Most universities especially those that usually have surplus applicants always admit approximately 10% of the total applicants, the rest 90% wait the next year.
Its true that most aspirants will not gain admission into the schools they willingly chose in utme but the truth is...many will gain admission into different schools where JAMB will transfer them to which they wouldnt have been eligible to even write putme or been allowed to seek admission if not because of this new Jamb policy.

For example, lets use University of Nigeria, Nsukka as an example.

Outside this new Jamb policy, UNN will have over 60,000 applicants fighting for 6,000 space this year, in other words 10% will be admitted while 90% will be denied admission. Out of this 90%, maybe 5% will enter polytechnics, colleges of education,etc out frustration, which means 85% will be denied admission this year in UNN.
But with this new Jamb policy, UNN will have about 11,000 applicants fighting for 6,000 space, that is to say 60% will be admitted while 40% will be denied admission and out of this 40%, maybe 5% will enter polytechnics, college of education, etc. Which means 35% will be denied admission in UNN this year.

The question is...
Those of you who are eligible and allowed to write putme in the school you chose in utme, would you prefer the new jamb policy stays so that you will have less people to compete with and also have 85% assurance of getting admission or should it be reversed so that you will have more people to compete with and also have 15% assurance of getting admission??

Those of you who are not eligible and have been transfered to other schools, would you prefer the new Jamb policy be reversed so that you will have more people to compete with in your original choice of university and also have 15% assurance of getting admission or should it stay so that you will have less people to compete in the school you will be transfered to and also have 85% assurance of getting admission in the new school you will be transfered to?
What is your opinion

Cc: lalasticlala

They are getting it all wrong. Nigerians won't just understand something very well before they react.

If you want to know all about this new jamb policy, click on this link:
www.nairaland.com/2474211/all-need-know-new-jamb#36220357

Yustash001:
are you working at jamb office?...you just write as if you are the deputy of Dibu...BTW...what you wrote is different from what we've been hearing...

I don't expect u to understand it. When other schools with surplus candidates which don't have different cutoff marks for different courses will start putme, you will see that none of the aspirants will be transfered to another schools cus none will be rejected by that school they chose.

There are some schools that have different cutoff marks for different courses such as 250 for medicine, 230 for law, 180 for sociology, etc. This standard by some universities (not JAMB) has affected some jambites over the years in such a way that many who will score 240 in jamb will be denied access for putme thereby losing that year while someone who scores 180 will be given access for putme simply because they choose different courses.

Those who choose courses with higher cutoff marks automatically lose that year because they will be rejected even when Jamb sets 180 as general cutoff mark. This is what JAMB wants to stop from this year. If the school you chose in jamb cuts 250 for medicine and you your jamb score is 248, instead of you to lose that year when there are other schools that will accept that score for that same course which the school you chose rejects, Jamb will transfer you to any of those schools that will accept your score for that your course especially schools that stil have vacants. This is because Jamb wants to give everybody the opportunity to make use of that jamb you suffered to write instead of being a waste or wasting such score simply because your the school you chose rejects 248 for medicine.

Its all for your own good. So the new jamb policy only applies or its adopted to universities that have different cutoff marks for different courses.
If school you chose in jamb adopts the policy of different cutoff marks for different courses and its one of the universities that have surplus aspirants, it will be affected.

Meanwhile, Jamb will send notification to all the aspirants affected or that will be rejected by the schools they chose and the new institution they have been transfered to.

Cc: Lalasticlala

#Clears throath#...pick up my phone and dedicating this piece to whom ever that will be my girl friend especially here on nairaland

There are certain standard emotions we all feel when we fall in love; they’re universal. While they may only be a part of the definition, the tip of the iceberg, they are necessary to keep our delusion alive. And what a wonderful delusion it is.

1. INTENSE DESIRE:

It won’t always be intense, but that’s because it couldn’t possibly be. The level of desire you feel for your partner will vary.

There will be days when you won’t be able to keep your hands off each other just as there will be days when you don’t feel the need to devour him or her.

The problem most couples face is actually not a problem at all. It’s more than normal for your desire for each other to fluctuate over time — just as all your other emotions are never constants, neither is desire.

Most couples fall into a panic when their loins aren’t burning for each other, but what they fail to understand is it’s possible to return to that state, indefinitely.
The one thing you can’t do, however, is fake it. If you’ve never felt intense desire for the man or woman in your life, then don’t expect another few years to change that.

2. JEALOUSY:

This one is a bit tricky. You don’t want to feel jealous too often — because that’s most definitely not a good sign — but you also need to feel jealous from time to time.

Jealousy is only bad if we act on it poorly. The feeling itself is harmless. More than that, it can be incredibly useful for keeping things exciting.

Jealousy is a very exciting emotion. It forces upon us a reminder of how much we want to keep someone for ourselves.

I understand this sort of wanting for yourself isn’t for everyone, and there are some who have a more open approach to love.

One way isn’t better than the other — simply different. Personally, I enjoy feeling jealous. I enjoy wanting.

As long as you use that jealousy as positive motivation, then your relationship will only benefit from it.

If there is no jealousy in your relationship, then you may want to ask yourself why.

3. LONGING:

If you’ve never longed for someone, missed this person when he or she wasn’t around to the point it became unpleasant, then I don’t think you were ever in love.

To love someone is to find someone you understand you are connected to — a connection which you always felt existed but never understood until now.

Once you meet this person, you’re going to want to shorten the distance between the two of you and keep it shortened. When distance is a necessity, you’re going to long for his or her presence.

This won’t be constant, but it is necessary. Otherwise, the relationship will fail, the marriage will end.

4. UTTER BLISS:

You either are in love or you aren’t in love. The turning point in which you go from the latter to the former is a point of utter bliss.

It’s that moment when you realize this person, who, not too long ago, was a stranger, now means everything to you.

You could lose your job, break your leg, screw something up royally, and as long as this person, this beautiful person, remains a part of your life, you could not care any less.

This is the moment we realize we are in love, and if this sounds strange to you, then I’m sorry, but you haven’t found it yet.

5. HOPE:

They say love gives us rose-colored glasses, that it tints our perception of the world around us and makes us turn a blind eye to all the evil that lurks. I don’t believe that to be correct.

Finding love doesn’t blind you; it makes you hopeful.

It makes you hopeful of the possibility that things are going to turn out all right. It gives you the hope that the world may not be as horrible as it so often seems.

Love gives you hope for a life filled with more happiness and less sadness — that maybe, whatever you’re doing, you’re doing right.

Love makes us feel less like failures and more like ever-wandering wanderers.

We know very little about life and the world around us, but we lose the fear of thinking we’re completely lost. How could we be when we managed to find such an amazing individual?

Love makes us feel found. It makes us feel… real.

Cc: Lalasticlala , Ishilove..

Please that woman am seeing in the pic, is she protestin for her grand children or for her children or for her self

One day una go hear say aeroplane fuel finish wen e dey for sky, na so d plane go hang for air or fall from there....naija!!!!

Nellybii:
Can you call a press conference and repeat this? If the answer is no then you are a morron. You are a nonentity. Your rants are useless and you are also faceless. Your family should be ashamed of a worthless offspring. Miserable imbeccile.

What is this one saying? Fighting urself, take it easy before u wil injure urself by urself.

President Buhari, now pay attention!

We don't want another embarrassment like what happened in London oo000!!! Where he called chancellor Merkel "President Marchell" and Germany "West Germany".President BUHARI, before you embarrass us again: Note the following points:

1. American president is Barack Obama NOT "Barack Osama" before FBI will arrest you oo00!!
2. American leader is called President and NOT "Prime Minister" take note sir.
3. People overseeing their Ministries are called "Secretaries" and not Ministers, just as they have John Kerry BUT not John kwerry oo00!
4. Please go with an interpreter to interpret your terrible English because they will probably not understand you when you begin to talk about Nigeria's kwunstitution.
5. If Obama give you a tour with their Airforce 1 jet please don't come back and request for one in Nigeria, we can't afford it, remember that we are still looking for fund to construct your HELIPAD in daura.
6. Please no matter the temptation don't try to crack joke with your terrible accent, they will not understand you and it will be very awkward.
7. Take note, it is "United State Congress NOT kwongress please.
8. If you promise to bring same sex marriage to Nigeria, make sure you marry Rotimi Ameachi before you come back, even though Ameachi who dresses like woman may support you.
9. If any American top female official offer their hands, please shake them, don't take your religious fanatism there please.
10. Please don't talk about racism in America, it's none of your business, apart from that, you are a hard core tribalist and as you can see tribalism and racism are twins, so tribalist talking about racism is unadulterated hypocrisy and finally.
11. Try not to engage Obama in intellectual discussion, he is far above your level, Obama is a Graduate of Harvard University while we are still not sure of WAEC in your DAURA village. So please in the name of God, don't embarrass Nigerians again. Thank you

idris4eva:
That obama shoe though

The worth of that shoes will feed ur generations for decades.

The discussion was like:

Obama: Buhari, I love you, please will you be my lover?

Buhari: Ecususu me Obama, am old, maybe I should talk to my son, he is younger!

Some naija babes will get aroused by seein dis car alone even before being talked to by the owner.

LilNetty:
E. G.. My Ex (lips sealed)

Dnt speak bad about ur ex..its one of things u don't do after breaking up.

Applaner:
ask Buhari

Buhari?

From what am "hearing", this Eid-ul-fitr is almost like Christmas or Easter for the muslims and I wonder why every place is like this here. Even in the North, during Christmas or Easter, every place is always hot, that Nepa is stingy is not on the days of Christmas or Easter. I have celebrated one Christmas or Easter in the North and I know how it was that time, there was light all through, let not talk of other parts of Nigeria because we all know how it always looks like...very hot and what have you.

During this so called Eid-ul-fitr, we dont have light, every place so quiet as if nothing is happening, even my friends in the North said they dont have light and I ask, what kind of celebration is this?

Amodsun:
For goodness sake we can be likened to many things but not condom. Those were my exact thought when I came across a discussion on why lawyers are like condoms on Rollonfriday.com.

I quickly read through the discussion and couldn't help but agree with some of the reasons that were adduced on why lawyers could be likened to a condom. Out of the many reasons given, I decided to share these four points I personally believe to be true. So here they are:

1.People get to use both lawyers and condoms because they have to, not that they want to

If given an option, most folks would rather not use both lawyers and condoms. So it now becomes a question of them being left with no other option than to use them; because if they don’t, they would be screwed.

2.Both lawyers and condoms are only used at critical moments

We don’t get to use them every now and then. We only remember them when we find ourselves under certain critical situations. When everything is going on well we don’t remember them; but at those key moments, we quickly reach out for them.

3.When the deal is done, both lawyers and condoms are cast off in disgust

This particular point flows from the above mentioned points. If both lawyers and condoms are only used because people don’t have an option than to use them, and their usage is only needed under critical moments, it becomes predictable that once they have been used, they will be discarded; most times with disgust. More like- “The deal is done; I have no further need of you”.

4.When lawyers and condoms are neglected, the consequences are grave.

Neglect a lawyer and you are most likely going to get yourself into a lot of trouble. Folks have lost great fortune, been cheated, duped, suffered great injustice because they never got a lawyer involved. In the same manner, unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, broken marriages are some of the consequences of neglecting the use of condoms.

As much as comparing lawyers with condoms might not be the cutest thing to do, but hey, you can’t help but to also agree with me that we share some similarities. Let’s hear your opinion on this, and probably other ways we share similarities with condoms.....#Legooo

I don't really agree with some of ur points. Can you tell me one thing you use when you don't have use or need for it? So, don't say you use condom or lawyer because you have no other option but to use them because you use virtually everything you use because you have no other option and because you have use or need to use them. When you are sick, you take drugs cus u have no other option but to take drugs to be fine, when you want to bath, u use water cus there is nothing elseu would use apart from water, when you are hungry, u eat food cus u have no other option but to eat food. So you use almost everything you use cus you have no other option but to use them not just only condom or lawyers.

I didn't do that thing called NYSC, it didn't prevent me from gettin a job.

Nigerians and their impatience......

Can't we just cool down, give buhari some time and know what he is upto

pretydiva:
Dats a statue wearing nysc outfit. Buh d guy is huge..chaii

When are we goin to actualize this ur profile pic? Me and u!

barrnchedo:
They should just provide an artificial leg for her.

petkoffDrake:
.
.
ya she is very pretty. u are pretty too. u b***s is quit big. I likey

U are talking to my girl friend in that manner. That babe is mine please, let's not drag her.

God may help her through TB Joshua

This was the instruction given in 2011 in Bokobook; section 2-2; Sub-section 12, page 52; Paragraph 3 under 2nd line, 2011 by 2:30am:


Buhari - My foolish Bokoharam; since I have lost this election (2011), make sure you make this country so ungovernable for this gentleman and peace loving man called Goodluck so that he will be distracted and look as if he is weak and incapable to rule this country. As election draws closer, increase the rate at which you foolishly slaughter the innocent ones especially the northerners so that it wont look suspicious that am the one behind it.

When they catch some of you, dont worry I will see to your release when I become the president, I will also transfer some of you to a prison in the east where the security is not tight so that some of you will escape and can do whatever you like there.

After my 25 days in the office, I will release all of you, I will also settle all of you with 11 virgins and N30m each. If I dont do all these, you know what to do my foolish bokoharam.

Now Buhari has refused to keep to his words to Bokoharam except one which is to send them down to east (Ekwulobia prison). They are now angry and have no other option but to carry out more attacks.