₦airaland Forum

Jewessgratitud3:
It's amazing how I was contemplating making this post before a member here requested or should I say started asking me questions in that line and being a very free and open person, I promised I was going to post about it.

Well... Let me start from my background and up bringing which also contributed indirectly to my nonregrettable actions that has left me in this wonderful marital status.

I grew up in a Catholic christian home where good virtues moral values were instilled in us by engaging us in christian children activities from an early age. The Most social part of my childhood ( apart from school) was around the church then back home with close monitoring. So there was no room for nonsense even up to our secondary and tertiary level. the monitoring was topnotch. So we didn't really get to do shit like our mates who got exposed early to certain lifestyle,; dating number one.

We were overprotected and shaped with these guidelines that a mindset was formed that boy and girl relationship is a taboo ( and it's true). So we knew better than to toll that part.

In the long run, after I have come off age, it became very difficult to date. This was at age 21. Whenever I manage to give a man a listening ear and he mentions sex, I'll run without looking back because that was a danger sign we were taught to look out for. So i was always running away from men because of premarital sex. It got to a point, after looking like that's the only way to get a husband and I was already in my mid twenties, a time when a girl should be getting ready to settle down, I said ok, let me see if I can bend the rules a bit for this one. This man was a chronic responsible bachelor. So I felt it could work out since he's ready to settle down. He was in his mid 30s the and never married. We were in the same compound. So I gave in and we started dating. Mind you there was no pressure from both parents to get married. My parents will never pressure you to get a suitor.

Being a novice in the game, I never knew men could double date or even knew how to handle one when it happens. So, on this fateful day the randy goat came home with another girl. It was our last born that came and told me some girl came to look for him because everyone in the compound knows us together. I was heartbroken and right there I broke up with him without even finding out who or if what they both have is serious. Though I made him cry cos I started entertaining other boys that have been chyking me and bringing them to the compound but I never had anything with them or knew any of their houses. I was just using the to pepper him. Once they say hi, I'll drag them to the compound and we will sit on top of his car sometimes until he now confided in one of our neighbors who now told me to stop that the man is always crying. E never cry. I showed him two can play that game. He tried coming back but I bulshit him.

After that I locked up and never trusted any man. I began to see why my dad was being overprotective. I didn't date again for almost five years and then men were coming but that was when my own shakara increased. I mean responsible well to do men o. That was when men had good jobs from banking, investment and oil companies in ikoyi and vi both staff from five star hotel like Eko hotels and suites, federal palace cos those were the places I worked so I had many suitors and friends but the moment they mention relationship, Ill take off.

Part 2

It continued like that and I was enjoying my life with peace of mind that I forgot about time or didn't bother about it cos I don't care.

When I entered mid thirties, I said let me loosen up a bit but because Ive gotten used and enjoyed single life with peace of mind to that age, I found it difficult to commit again because anytime I tried, I'll start having anxiety. The thought of him cheating on me or even as little as admiring another woman will just make me unsettled and I'll think of aborting mission before it's too late.

So I said to give one man a chance, he too brought another girl in my absence. I found out from the sister and that was it. I called it off he begged and begged that the lady was forcing herself on him and sending him money bla bla.. he made a conference call with his family begging, my mind was made up I dumped him and moved on to a Choir boy Ive been admiring who was also trying to talk me into a relationship. I truly loved this guy and I think I was older than him in age . Though he refused to tell me his age but I was able to deduce from his Facebook profile cos he wrote class of 2006 while I finished 1999 but because I don't look my age, we just looked like age mate and we loved each other.

I met him when he just finished serving and was squatting. I was out of job then but one thing that made me stick with him was, even though he was not working, he shared whatever little he had with me. We were together when a very rich young pastor came asking for my hands in marriage. I told him about it and he started feeling sad that because he doesn't have a bearing now some guy wants to take me away from him. I on the other hand don't really fancy the pastor but wanted to force myself and see if it will work but it wasn't working because I didn't have feelings for him. To now make matters worse, he started showing stinginess. In the three months we courted, we didn't get to sit together because he's a pastor so we only see in church, stand and talk very briefly and disperse and each time he kept posting me about money I asked for to enable me travel for Xmas and the day was fast approaching. It was my Choir boyfriend that wen to borrow money from one girl selling recharge card to give me to travel. Now coupled with the fact that I don't even like him, i just texted him to look for another sister. The highest he ever bought me was two two hundred naira recharge card a stinkingly rich ajebota pastor for that matter ( 2014) but he would always call me.

Lastly, in 2016, my bobo got a job in Chevron with a nice apartment in lekki. Before then we had a small quarrel and we're not in talking terms because I requested for money for hair to attend my twins introduction and he told me no money but he didn't tell me he was saving for an apartment. Even then, how much? So, after months of not talking, he called and invited me over to see his new place. A surprise I guess. I got there and we had a nice time. He tried to make it up to me. He gave me his short and polo to wear that day and took me to a pepper soup joint. **Smiling**
later we got back and ad I was about to shower, I saw a used shower cap in his bathroom. He now handed me a new one from his wardrobe where there were many more. I asked him who used the one in the bathroom, he said baby don't start again. I held my peace.
The following morning he did something that I can't say for sure what really happened.

I slept over because there was no way I could go back from lekki to the mainland that day. That night he came to disturb me and I told him you know we can't be doing this. Please let wait till everything is formalized. When he wouldn't let me be, I left him and went to sleep on the floor. In the morning he woke up and was saying you, you, I was just looking at you as we were talking someone knocked on the door. It was a ladies voice. My ex went to meet her and they were together for almost 30mins before he came back inside. Me i didn't talk. I suspected he went to do nonsense because his thing was up when he left only to come back and it has come down.

We prepared and left together that morning for work. When I got home, I called and told him off. Na small thing dey vex me. He didn't believe it. So many things on my mind that made me take that huge decision. Men are not worth my type.

Since then till date, I stopped anything relationship especially if it's not a born again and I must like him. I faced my God ever since and decided to give myself peace. I can't stand a cheating partner. Disease dey town and I don't want to end up a baby mama.

Now, with the way things are, no jobs, the few decent men can hardly fend for themselves let alone catering for a family, I just decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Make person no come enter from fry pan to fire. Some family men now are dumping their family and running away from their responsibilities leaving the women to carry all the burden. So tell me what will make marriage enticing to me again? Abi na domestic violence? Biko Biko.

winner37:
We are four males, is over two decades now losing our mum at a very tender age so our dad went ahead to get another woman ..
This woman has caused a lot of troubles in our family since stepping in even to an extent of poisoned our food but God saved my brother and I during the darkest days of my life , this woman has committed many atrocious acts but my dad still have a room for her in his heart..

This reason of my writing goes this ;

My brother who in the village due to shortening down of his work reported issues to me how my stepmom accused his wife of stealing eggs going farther reminding of the past due to her dubious attitude my elder brother beat her up and sent her to their family some years ago but after some while my dad brought her back for peace settling..
From the report my brother told me the woman went on by saying some curse on us that she as no benefits deriving from us after she had taken cared of us now we showed her no favor ,meanwhile her first son is living with me over two years now in south-western part of this country with a little am having I do placed my dad on a monthly allowance which from there she will gain some stuff . Traveling home I will buy some clothes also go along with my clothes that I consider outdated but still nice for her two children who are in the village and during my staying with them I will take care of the bills which my dad will not be comfortable with it... my elder brother's wife is a nurse , she's always there for her on all ramifications, my second elder brother's wife
do take care of her but to my greatest surprised our stepmother still have the mouth to say we have done nothing for her ..
From my brother's words ,the woman said alot of words which I don't want to put in writing..

Am thinking to send her son back to the village and stop responding to any help ..

Elijayy:
The church would've pray for him rather than castigating him

geedot:
Ibro, to be honest with you, you just have to admit you're not good enough yet to handle prop firm accounts. That's the bitter truth. Don't rush it, take your time and go learn and practise afresh before continuing with it.

One of the reasons I'm against those advising newbies to go live as fast as possible because demo is nonsense. Demo is not nonsense if you can program your brain to trade it like a live one. Let every loss trade pain you so much that you wanna know why it really happened, maybe your call was wrong or market just happened.

Going live few weeks or months after demoing is a recipe for disaster. You don't learn basics of a career and decided to just dive right into it without proper and adequate knowledge of different situations. it doesn't work like that.
Calm down, forex is not going anywhere, but if you trade that your account without going back to restrategize, you will blow and waste that account. I'm 99.9% certain of it.


I learnt somethings here...
I remember asking you yesterday about the small account you funded that you were gambling trading on, and you responded that it was good. But that was a lie, you've blown it.

So that's it Ibro, calm down, calm down and calm down. You need alot of calmness to handle trading profitably.

yungevvy:
What language is that?

Parcell:
How do I get to Nissan Showroom (westex bus stop) from New garage By driving

olayemi1977:
Make 6K every hours without investing with your Telegram.

millstone:
Good day nairalanders,

APOLOGIES FIRST CAUSE MY STORY LONG SMALL!!!

In 2007 my parents divorced, part of the reasons was my Dad's infidelity and abusive nature towards my mom and siblings. My Dad is an Evangelist, a once prominent one before the divorce and had workers both male and female working for him from drivers to pastors and he occasionally has affairs with his female workers, this usually makes the male workers back then to walk out on him after discovering this. There were three of us all born in the 90s so we witnessed my dad's growth as well as his abuses towards my mom as well as occasional affairs with his workers which would always results in fights between my mom and him, on one occasion in 1997 my mom found out about his affairs and took three of us to Ibadan to live with his Boss at that time Rev. Wale Oke who warned him and sent us back home, on arrival my dad nearly killed my mom and it was an elderly neighbor and his family back then that beat him up before he stopped. 2004 my parents had the fourth child my baby brother and the following year they had a fight again after my mom caught him in office with his then secretary and he beat her up along with her sister and my elder sister for confronting him.

He continued working with this his secretary and also having affairs with other ladies. 2006 my mom found out and they had a big fight which shattered the church they had back then, we weren't also sparred from his wrath. To make matters worse he would come to the church announcing the closure of the church and removal of my mom as an ordained Pastor despite the fact that she went to Redeem Christian Church Pastoral school, the people did not accept his demands citing his infidelity. December 2007 they had another big fight and they finally divorced. My Dad seized my 3 year old brother, against court order, and relocated to South Africa and Kenya. I and my two sisters stayed with my mom and she did the best she could running the church and providing meals, after attempts to punish failed my dad then took care of our education fee while still keeping my brother away from us and parading around the country and other African countries with this his secretary as his wife, soon after she had a daughter for him. My mom struggled to raise us right and to her defense she really did her best but I had to deal with the anger and bitterness on my own path, weed and alcohol was my escape and soon after I was lured into prostitutes during the 2go era by a guy i met online, I was 18 when this happened, my family didn't know about this, I graduated best student in my faculty and got great jobs in both the private and finally the public sector. Save to say I do not let this habits affect my inputs at work or relationship with people.

My elder sister graduated successfully got high flying jobs and married a big shot, they're doing fine with kids now. My younger sister was the victim in all this as my dad refused to train her through school. During my school years I reconnected with my dad and brother only to find out my brother had been raised believing my dad's secretary to be his mom and the daughter from their affair his only sibling. My dad has raised him with the idea that he is the only son and even when we reconnected would believe the words of a 9 year old even though this boy can lie just to get what he wants from my dad and he would believe it.

2015 after graduation and my sister's marriage we fell out and even without his support i got jobs in places that needed high connections and even started three different businesses with my vices unknown to my family members. 2020 some elders in the family stepped in to settle the issues between my dad and my siblings and in that five year period thankfully we have all done well for ourselves without him. In 2021 i took some high end loans from the office and made some other investments but they went wrong and that is were I shot myself in the foot. By 2022 the pressure on me was too much and i had to go to my dad's place pending when i sort myself out and man i saw shege pro-max. I recently sorted myself out and moved out of his apartment.

For my Dad 2014 the secretary had to leave him when he was becoming abusive and her family objected their union as she was the cause of his divorce, she went along with their daughter which he has refused to carter for. That same year he married a younger lady but the marriage did not last a year, he then had another woman who they were together for a year it was this woman that caused our rift in 2015 and i left him, he then started an affair with a woman from Kenya that ended just last year while sending her monthly upkeep and paying for her rent in a luxury apartment in Kenya. January of this year he started an affair with another elderly female Pastor in Abuja and they began living together until it ended in April. May 2023 he went to Benue and once again married another lady who he just met( note in all of this his fornication his excuse is always "The Spirit of God spoke to him that this is his wife" like WTF!!!).

Now my brother was supposed to further his study 2021 but my dad and him and a silly plan to send him to the UK to play football, without any proper training. This went on for almost a year before he was hurriedly enrolled in a private university but we found out he had used the money meant for his school fees (over 400k) partying with friends and impressing his girlfriend. Now my sisters and I found out and reported it to my dad. This guy denied it and now turned the blame on me that I have been taking him round hotels to carry babes and party. Despite the fact I gave this boy a chance during the investigation to come clean that we are aware that he possibly flunked school and want honesty from him but he denied it. Now my dad is defending this boy, he's 19 o and supposed to be heading to 300L, and attacking me. My brother knows about my habits and is using this as his alibi putting the blame on me that I got him involved with my habits and even though I have cautioned him several times, attempted to guard him in academics because I struggled heavily in my 100L due to family issues( I wasn't even involved in marijuana or alcohol by then) he still went out with friends who ate his school fees with him and not theirs. Now Baba is blaming me for spending the boy's fees when my work schedule would not even allow me teach him bad habits. I found out he does drugs and even deals on harder substances that I dread from. My Dad is not holding him accountable for his actions rather as he always does blames every misfortune that comes on me or my mom. Now we had a big fight on the phone and I am ready to cut the two of them off for good. Between 2015-2020, before they both came into my life I was doing very well without their drama and distractions. At one time in 2021 my Dad even dumped this boy on me while he spends money bringing his woman from Kenya going round the country parading her as his wife and living in luxury hotels and all kind of silly antics, she's a Pastor ,and refused to support back then while I look after this boy. That period was when my investments was going down and I was even admitted in the hospital after having a heart condition that scared me and the doctors. To cover my medical bills, keep ,myself afloat and take care of my brother in my custody that period I had to sell my car which further worsened my financial condition.

THIS MAN HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT CHAOS, A FRAUD, A STAIN ON WHAT CHRISTIANITY IS AND WORSE OF IT ALL WILL DESTROY HIS FAMILY IF GIVEN THE CHANCE. 2020 after reconciliation I had a big fight with my younger sister because of this man and not until last year I settled with my sister and this man was not even happy with the peace I made. He wants to use me to attack my Mom and my sisters and only when he sees you are against them would he embrace you. I want to cut him off completely as between 2015-2020 I witnessed personal, financial and spiritual growth as opposed to having him in my life and his attempt to control me into self destruction. The depressions I had got worse with him and I had to fall into weed and booze to escape the madness. However I am recovering and pulling myself together and do not intend to bring him back to my life.

constant1960:
I can never report any case to Nigeria police

Sadonyx:
Imagine that Peter Obi is the president and what's going on now is happening under him...

Close your eyes small and try to imagine that scenario.
Imagine what the likes of El-Rufai and the North will be saying at the moment taking into consideration of this war...

Imagine Peter had threatened Niger with war at the first instance. Please imagine that.

Imagine that Peter's policies has led us to N947-$1. Try. Imagine that reality.

Imagine a scenario where fuel is galloping down to N700/ltr under PO.

Imagine videos of hundreds of military trucks coming in from Onne Ports from France. Imagine what the states bordering Niger Republic would have been saying now. Igbos and their properties would probably have been attacked for SURE. Imagine small.

Imagine an Obi presidency where its hard to feed. Imagine what the media would have been saying now. Imagine it. You must Imagine it. O yeah, it's by force.

Imagine how Peter Obi would have been used as a human tissue for weeping, wailing and sobbing criminals in politics-clothing.

But, everything happening now is being downplayed like it's nothing.

Great days has its ways of trickling down like ordinary days. It just seems ordinary because we are living through.

When we look back, 20 years from now, we'd ask ourselves how it was that we just kept quiet when the dam showed signs of breaking.

☺️☺️☺️

Pootle:
we be hood cousins

Greatdober:
That's dope bro..
Which firm tho?

Greatdober:
It can be depressing man.
Get up dust yourself.
Get a journal, write what made you loose the account.
Was it over trading?
Lack of risk management?
Lack of knowledge?
Lack of confidence?
Wrong entry?
Then start finding solutions