₦airaland Forum

luminouz:
So she bursted into tears and you let her go without checking her WhatsApp







Gentlemen, should I tell him?

LOL. Na those people wey dey use tears travel abroad. They will just shed years and mountains will strat moving for them.

elisha820:
Happy new week everyone.
I decided to bring this up on this platform cos I want candid and lucid advice. I be brief on this.

I am a Pharmacist working with one of the government owned health care centre. There's this girl I've been with for more than 2years now. She is a law student in her penultimate year in university. Like most Nigerian relationships, we started with lot of distractions and lacked commitment but over time it remained just the two of us.

At the beginning of this year 2021 we made relationship goals and decided to be transparent to each other. We shared every secrets, went through each others phone and asked questions where necessary. All went well until last month when I went to check on her in the university, asked for her phone as usual wanted checking her whatsapp. She didn't let me, said till she comes for weekend when we'll have good time for that. I was surprised, had my doubts but let it slide. She later came for the weekend, I acted as if I don't care anymore and that was it.

Similar event happened last night after she went through my phone (whatsapp, facebook, twitter etc) cos she has my password but I don't have hers. I unexpectedly asked for her phone too, she said it's late and we should leave it till am back from weekend call later in the evening. I kept my cool last night but was bent on seeing her chat this morning not until she bursted into tears. I ain't perfect, have my flaws but I am free spirited whenever I am around her. It normal for a lady to have lots of guys in her dm, but I think it's a problem when it becomes secretive to your partner.

Should I play along, start having secrets too or what's your thought guys.

NB: I skipped so many things, decided being straight to the point.

Lalasticla...I remain loyal, hoping you'll do the needful

Until you marry her.... A relationship is an open door situation...... An open field to entertain all sorts.....

If you are not happy with her version of this match, walk........

DaddyRochie1642:
Love still dey shack this one




Oga it is your type that finally gets married and start lamenting "I Made a Horrible Mistake by Marrying this Woman", meanwhile it is your Fault from the beginning because you failed to set Boundaries and stamp your Authority as a man that knows what he wants.

Respect is what makes a Relationship last longer and Stronger especially when the Respect is Mutual, Love is just secondary.

.

Well said. He should be decisive before he later regrets his indecision now
The girl is busy flirting.

Password your phone too

MISSCONGENIALITY:
LOL. Na those people wey dey use tears travel abroad. They will just shed years and mountains will strat moving for them.

You nailed it.

Happy Easter ma'am

DaddyRochie1642:
Love still dey shack this one

Tomorrow na you'll start Weeping and gnashing your teeth saying this girl "Used Jazz on me".... How can the girl know your password and have Unrestricted access to your phone and Privacy and she'll deny you access to hers with Idiotic excuses.

Oga are you not a Man that knows what he wants, I believe you have goals and priorities that you wish to accomplish in this Life, So why is it difficult for you to Let that girl know that you're not here to "Play games", why is it difficult for you to Express yourself and let her know with a serious tone in your voice that you will not tolerate such behavior and excuses from her.


Oga it is your type that finally gets married and start lamenting "I Made a Horrible Mistake by Marrying this Woman", meanwhile it is your Fault from the beginning because you failed to set Boundaries and stamp your Authority as a man that knows what he wants.

People won't like to hear this and I personally dont give a FÚCK, nowadays, Respect is what makes a Relationship last longer and Stronger especially when the Respect is Mutual, Love is just secondary.

If that girl had a good Percentage of Respect for you, she won't have the guts to go through your phone and your Privacy and start giving excuses when you want to go through hers.

You're seeing the "Red Flags" now and you're forming gentleman, your eyes go soon Clear

I love this talk, Ah!

Havesomesense:
If you are not fvcking her well, I mean making her cvm. She's gonna cheat on you.

To make a girl loyal you need to be great in sex and also great in mind games.

You forgot to add "if you are not wealthy"

Jorge91:
if you really love her look beyond those things and marry 1st, but let her be through with her schooling and youth service first. Most girls are now wiser these days due to the fact that men use relationship to tie them down for years and end up not marrying them it’s common. If you don’t act fast she will send you wedding invitation card.

True. Men use relationships these days to keep girls even when they know they won't settle down with her. They will date her till there's nothing left in her again. Then they will remember she's not go for them. And then they will move to the next girl. Sometimes I don't blame girls who keep now than one guy.

DaddyRochie1642:
Love still dey shack this one

Tomorrow na you'll start Weeping and gnashing your teeth saying this girl "Used Jazz on me".... How can the girl know your password and have Unrestricted access to your phone and Privacy and she'll deny you access to hers with Idiotic excuses.

Oga are you not a Man that knows what he wants, I believe you have goals and priorities that you wish to accomplish in this Life, So why is it difficult for you to Let that girl know that you're not here to "Play games", why is it difficult for you to Express yourself and let her know with a serious tone in your voice that you will not tolerate such behavior and excuses from her.


Oga it is your type that finally gets married and start lamenting "I Made a Horrible Mistake by Marrying this Woman", meanwhile it is your Fault from the beginning because you failed to set Boundaries and stamp your Authority as a man that knows what he wants.

People won't like to hear this and I personally dont give a FÚCK, nowadays, Respect is what makes a Relationship last longer and Stronger especially when the Respect is Mutual, Love is just secondary.

If that girl had a good Percentage of Respect for you, she won't have the guts to go through your phone and your Privacy and start giving excuses when you want to go through hers.

You're seeing the "Red Flags" now and you're forming gentleman, your eyes go soon Clear

best comment and advise , jah bless you bro... back to op, for me like what my brother from another mother have said never never never I repeat again NEVER ignore a red flag that you can't Bare now and in future. for crying out loud you ain't dealing with a kid here but a mature person , if she can't reciprocate the energy in all ramification respectfully then for me she ain't worth costing you your peace, happiness etc. no human worth costing me my peace , if I love you and u re messing up e go be like film the way I go just change like weather too, to the point Na she go later dey complain. for me bro care less , call less , reduce all the effort in making her better until she question her conscience and bring the matter up that why the change then you hit her with the truth. most nowadays girls are bunch of liabilities, they make relationship less interesting with their stupid entitlement mentality and the awkward believe that all that makes a relationship works has to be done by the guy alone. stupid people.

NwaAmaikpe:





Verily, verily I say unto you, only the sight of a happily derailing brother graciously strolling into the Simp's Legion of Gloom will make NwaAmaikpe toss an overload of global assignments and run to their aid.

It is so sad that in your lineage, neighborhood, work environment and amongst your everyday acquaintances; you'be been unfortunate not to have anyone train you up in the ways of men.

For men only two rules exist; Rule #1 and the Golden rule.
Rule #1: "Trust no one till you've verified".

And

Golden Rule: "No matter the amount of your verifications, never trust a female".

There's an even a peculiar one for Nigerian ladies.

"NEVER EVER TRUST A WOMAN IN A NIGERIAN TERTIARY INSTITUTION" (Triple emphasis on Never Ever')

You my brother have broken the 1st rule, the golden rule and the peculiar rule with a huge smile on your face.
Of all the girls in the world to choose to commit your heart to, why go for an undergraduate?
Those fickle minded broads aren't ready for commitment but just attention thrills, infatuation whims and a race on the fast lane.

Take it or leave it, half the time you've kissed that girl, you've been licking the remnant of one diseased lecturer's semen she has been gulping to scale through in school or that of a lodgemate whose room she goes to charge her phone to chat with you.

To answer your questions.

Yes, it is normal for an attention-deficient, undecided whorre to have so many men in their DM, because that is what they do for a living, get high off flatters and spread their legs for the man with the best tongue.
Sad still, these type of girls get fvcked for free while their pharmacist boyfriend recommends cocktail of drugs to treat infections she claims to have gotten from the hostel toilet.

No committed girlfriend/wife encourages needless Social media communications with men because they know that inspite of all the detours, any man who chats up a woman is ultimately headed to one direction.

Should you play along?
No! Stop playing because you've been playing yourself all along. You need urgent help but my fear is that you are utterly unhelpable and have been condemned by the devil to be a SIMP on earth.
If a grown ass worker like yourself will let a teen in on your secrets, your passwords and worse even; be swayed by her manipulative tears, then I have no words for you and I take back my rants.

The wise one has spoken, he who has ear should put it to use asap

Omooo no matter what my boyfriend /husband no fit get my password to my phone and I don't want his own too.. Make everybody dey their dey abeg

luminouz:
You nailed it.

Happy Easter ma'am

Happy Easter to you too.

elisha820:
Bad guy
At some point one need to focus all his energy and attention on one person, one can't be a player forever.

I get your point bruh, well noted!

Focusing your energy doesn't mean you should be trolling their phone n WhatsApp. Set your standard and if she falls out of it, leave her and move on.

bigpicture001:
Bro am not just saying that based on Badt guy stuffs.. Av been there, even up to about to marry stage... Am telling you stop getting worked up on relationships issues... Just don't care about her privates like her phone and her social media.... And Bleep very much any pussy u find attractive. Cuz u being loyal doesn't change anything.. Your being nice changes nothing.

Even when you get married, still hit on gals u feel like hitting just respect her not to rob it on her face... But don't try to b a good or a loyal man to any lady... Dey don't value it

Girls everywhere are the same thing and all of them will never leave you once you have money

see advice oooo.... Youths and sex

Saintp:
Most of the stories being peddled on nairaland are all lies. I think some people just want to have a post they created and push a conversation.
Otherwise how can people just be asking for stupid advice or question when the whole thing is just too obvious for the blind sef.

it's so funny how people see some post as lies. because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean others won't. or you think the world only revolve in Nairaland? think again....

fati2001:
love her more.

Wahala��

If you decide to start cheating on her then you ain't different from her, it's obvious she's seeing and talking to somebody n you mustn't see that.

I use to tell my partner that I'm not having an extra girl because I cherish myself, my life, my vision and my goals. So if I'm not doing shit, it's a personal decision and not doing her a favor, it's my life.

The moment you start seeing yourself not cheating as a favor to your partner then you're definitely gonna cheat someday. Just be step ahead of her n make her understand that you know what's up, she'll feel the guilt and start having a panic state.

I don't put my trust in anyone, not even my people not to talk of a lady I haven't married, you'd better face your career and watch how they become more than loyal to you.

elisha820:
Don't wanna say this, but this is disgusting...I mean there are exception to some things. Not all university girls are thesame. Believe it or not we have family and siblings in the system... not all of them are runs girls...get that clearly.

Thank you for your advice though

A world where sex is seen as norms in our society... Sex sex everywhere.... It's a pity though

Bros no one can ever truly ‘own’ a woman.

You have her heart, probably have direct access to her pussy, what more do you want? 100% loyalty? Nigga please


You’ll never win that battle.

Women don’t want to be placed on a tight leash, once you get comfortable with letting your woman have her space, then you’ll truly find peace.

Even in marriage, don’t try it if you really want to be happy

fati2001:
love her more.

You are evil

elisha820:
Bad guy
At some point one need to focus all his energy and attention on one person, one can't be a player forever.

I get your point bruh, well noted!

That's my problem also. The player thing don tire me. I no longer see it worthwhile having flinge with different girls. I need concentration on one girl...and You know thats where the problem begins. The one girl now will take me for granted and see me as a weakling... whereas I want to be just useful and focused.

oke2018:
Hope you will marry someday

you dey mind that one??

elisha820:
What should I do?

You are asking a stupid question. You know what to do.

You must be Cornelius Maximus Savagenus. General of the 7th rank, commander of the first Roman Legion to cross the sea of Savagery.
Complement Domino.

fati2001:
love her more.

word!

Havesomesense:
If you are not fvcking her well, I mean making her cvm. She's gonna cheat on you.

To make a girl loyal you need to be great in sex and also great in mind games.

fati2001:
love her more.

You know if you don't have something sensible to say, you can just keep shut, you should understand that when someone ask for an opinion you don't have to be sarcastic?? For fvck sake!

@elisha820

Many good suggestions abound here, my only addition is that, if you don't satisfy your curiosity to a point of satisfaction on what she's hiding, it will build mistrust, a very bad foundation for any love relationship.

The truth is, there's no sweeping under the rug this one since it's a concensus between you two to check each other's phone, sit her down and be straight with her on the lack of access to her phone and how you feel about it, no mincing words, let it out, when people know you are real, they come out to meet you at your level.

For me ooo,I don't have that time of going through a babes phone, this works for me, she can go through mine for all I care, if am with a babe am very exclusive, you know why, she either begins to let me know things that are even beyond the phone and we get really close that there's nothing to hide else you see my brother falsehood has a way of failing over time,it was never designed to last, false people have a way of falling off, if you are real this is what works for me Sha.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
True. Men use relationships these days to keep girls even when they know they won't settle down with her. They will date her till there's nothing left in her again. Then they will remember she's not go for them. And then they will move to the next girl. Sometimes I don't blame girls who keep now than one guy.

that's not really the solution you know.... Prayer is the key.... Say no to pre-marital sex, never engage in such act... Be close to God... There are sane youths in this country

elisha820:
Happy new week everyone.
I decided to bring this up on this platform cos I want candid and lucid advice. I be brief on this.

I am a Pharmacist working with one of the government owned health care centre. There's this girl I've been with for more than 2years now. She is a law student in her penultimate year in university. Like most Nigerian relationships, we started with lot of distractions and lacked commitment but over time it remained just the two of us.

At the beginning of this year 2021 we made relationship goals and decided to be transparent to each other. We shared every secrets, went through each others phone and asked questions where necessary. All went well until last month when I went to check on her in the university, asked for her phone as usual wanted checking her whatsapp. She didn't let me, said till she comes for weekend when we'll have good time for that. I was surprised, had my doubts but let it slide. She later came for the weekend, I acted as if I don't care anymore and that was it.

Similar event happened last night after she went through my phone (whatsapp, facebook, twitter etc) cos she has my password but I don't have hers. I unexpectedly asked for her phone too, she said it's late and we should leave it till am back from weekend call later in the evening. I kept my cool last night but was bent on seeing her chat this morning not until she bursted into tears. I ain't perfect, have my flaws but I am free spirited whenever I am around her. It normal for a lady to have lots of guys in her dm, but I think it's a problem when it becomes secretive to your partner.

Should I play along, start having secrets too or what's your thought guys.

NB: I skipped so many things, decided being straight to the point.

Lalasticla...I remain loyal, hoping you'll do the needful

If I say make I tell u what to do now you begin cry, so una goal na to dey check each other phones U go for dey check her pussy join to know weda anoda dick enter am wen she dey sch....see my guy u non just get work

Guy just know say your babe dey hide something from you, forget the cry and check wetin she dey hide from you but my advice to is that change all your password for your mails, social media and your phone too and just be wise and never to check her phone again because what you will see my brother might kill you.

Judgesledge:
The wise one has spoken, he who has ear should put it to use asap

follow his advice at your peril

confirm! you said it all

bigpicture001:
....guy, just go on with the relationship, there is no good girl flirt wise anywhere in d world...

If my holy supposedly good no sex relationship girl could suddenly remove her last seen history and whitened her two marks lines on watsapp, everybody can cheat......

Plz guy duck as may pussies as you can.. Even when your married. No girl is worth your faithfulness ND goodness.. Just don't care about whether she cheats or not... Always use a rubber...

Don't worry yourself about ladies, they are all the same!

elisha820:
Happy new week everyone.
I decided to bring this up on this platform cos I want candid and lucid advice. I be brief on this.

I am a Pharmacist working with one of the government owned health care centre. There's this girl I've been with for more than 2years now. She is a law student in her penultimate year in university. Like most Nigerian relationships, we started with lot of distractions and lacked commitment but over time it remained just the two of us.

At the beginning of this year 2021 we made relationship goals and decided to be transparent to each other. We shared every secrets, went through each others phone and asked questions where necessary. All went well until last month when I went to check on her in the university, asked for her phone as usual wanted checking her whatsapp. She didn't let me, said till she comes for weekend when we'll have good time for that. I was surprised, had my doubts but let it slide. She later came for the weekend, I acted as if I don't care anymore and that was it.

Similar event happened last night after she went through my phone (whatsapp, facebook, twitter etc) cos she has my password but I don't have hers. I unexpectedly asked for her phone too, she said it's late and we should leave it till am back from weekend call later in the evening. I kept my cool last night but was bent on seeing her chat this morning not until she bursted into tears. I ain't perfect, have my flaws but I am free spirited whenever I am around her. It normal for a lady to have lots of guys in her dm, but I think it's a problem when it becomes secretive to your partner.

Should I play along, start having secrets too or what's your thought guys.

NB: I skipped so many things, decided being straight to the point.

Lalasticla...I remain loyal, hoping you'll do the needful

Alaye, hack her whatsapp and face the reality once and for all...

I did that to the alhaja I dated recently and it proved to me that those stupid ninjas head covering tortoise are worse than olosho....