₦airaland Forum

Cocao:
You don't understand. I am sure he does not need that 1k, everyone has this need to feel loved and cherished and protected. He just wants to know that if he needs something, his wife has got his back.

Even people with plenty money still need someone that is willing to care for them

igwebest23:
My brother I know my wife is my responsibility. But d issue now is that she is making money. She has like 250k saving In her account. Her shop rent is just 90k. And she wants me to pay it. D money she is making, is it ordinary paper. The issue is that ladies of this generation is different from our mum. I live in well furnished two bedroom apartment, paid by me. People are passing my wife shop seeing d level of customer going in and out, d think she is contributing to d family. Is better I marry a girl that is not doing anything that will be submissive to me. I noticed d little money she is making is entering her head.

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

Reex12:
lol perhaps you view such situation as in third person narrative...now romanoff (natasha lol) you get married to a man that you know that doesnt love you,shows sign that he doesnt regard you..and also you on the other hand knows fully well that you dont love your husband but live in the same house with him would still want to spend the rest of your life with him pls be honest

ELKHALIFAISIS:
Someone who spent a million plus for traditional wedding is crying to his wife to borrow him 1000 naira from a shop he didn't rent for her...

Walihi to slap you dey hungry me

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

Bola146:
This is so deep, you saw the red lines but you ignored it. If you have told her to choose either to use money for the wedding or shop Why spent that much on a day or two days wedding when you still have many things to use money for You need to tell her siblings or parents how everything thsat happened, if she doesn't want to be submissive or abide with your earning, then let her go and learn more lessons from her parents house she should be able to afford the rent na!!!! Must wives put heavy loads on their husbands She shouldn't have shouted, she can do daily or weekly contributions to pay for the rent Please don't ever argue nor fight with her, just pick one of your dresses and find a place to cool your head. It's too early to have hypertension jare

seanwilliam:
This is absolutely nonsense.. so na only man come suffer for life We should not be encouraging this nonsense..

Your wife has 1m, u have 2k and total money is 2k??

Make una stop encouraging entitlement mentality from these leeches y'all call wives

YelloweWest:
A simple disclosure of salary would have avoided this...

Romanoff:
That's why I said mutual respect must be in the union.

Anyone who marries someone that doesn't have any regard or respect for them had dug their grave already.

MadamFay:
Then you never really loved her, if it's so easy for you to let go of her- in your own words, 'send her packing' like she's some maid who worked for you and now her contract is terminated.

Look, bro, love is commitment, it doesn't look out for just its own interests, but the interest of the other. One big mistake you've made is bringing your marital issues here on nairaland that there are lots of inexperienced, frustrated folks. Well, what you're experiencing now is normal. You've gotten off the honeymoon stage and now is the time where you both will begin to piss each other off, to understand yourselves better while setting boundaries. It's likely not going to be easy. It's not Nollywood.

You should have discussed these things prior to your union. You need to set boundaries. Be open though. Let her trust you, when a woman trusts you, she tends to relax. Let her know how much you earn. However, firmly let her know she would have to take care of her business from the business account because that's how a business should be operated. A business is an entity on its own. Even her transport fare should be expended from the business account, not your pocket. As for the home, you both need to decide how you would pull your resources together to run the home, it's paramount especially if you decide to start having children soon. Finance and miscommunication are two things that can cripple relationships.

Modified: Please try not to involve third parties from family, no matter what. It's a resentment builder and marriage killer.

eeewise:
Telling your wife 100k plus range is very very ok
How can u live with a man and not able to gauge his financial level and know if he is struggling or not

Pls he married an entitled selfish woman who's mentality is skewed towards always being at the receiving end of care. This mindset is prevalent with women.

Thank you for being succinct but these days, some women earns more than their husbands. My point is simple, a wife and the husband should share things in common which includes: responsibilities, finances etc, this is where the power of 2 will make sense. I prefer not to live in secrecy with my wife cos secrecy breeds distrust and things like this, thank you.

Very few understand the concept of marriage , partnership and power of 2

CharisEleos:
Lol... I don't know why this story is making me laugh out so loud.
Wait... You shouted at her and she fainted hahahahaaaa.... Are you odeyssey or a lion? Lol..

Well, first and foremost, you need to vomit that red pill you swallowed because that is the number one cause of your problems.

Then, if you have the money, renew the rent for her. You're her husband for crying out loud. Or why would you go and bring a lady out of her parents house and be maltreating her with your redpill baldadash?

Remember that pills have side effects. So this might just be one of them which could have a very bad outcome in your marriage if you don't spill it out now.

Oyen Redpill.

Modified:

All of you mentioning me to say spew trash, Im not surprised because its typical of most nairaland men to want a woman who will be sharing responsibilities with them. While out there, it's a different ball game.

If you know you can't cater for a woman,
leave her alone. You can't stay without a woman yet you are not willing to do what it entails to keep a woman.

For all of you, it's better to remain single than coming here to sound like a broken record. Minus OP though because OP is even still better than some of you.

Redpill kor, green pill ni. Yet they won't let my DM rest.

Tkor!

princewarri1985:
bro when i said if she has 1 million and you have 2k the total money at home is 2k is logical, there is a certain way you treat women, the dude is immature and not ready for marriage

emmnprince:
So you're indirectly telling them to settle for babymamas abi since keeping a wife at home entails their full-time responsibility of meeting all her needs even handkerchiefs for her crocodile tears?

Romanoff:
That's why I said mutual respect must be in the union.

Anyone who marries someone that doesn't have any regard or respect for them had dug their grave already.

bigpicture001:
Bro you talk as dou women are from another planet..tge inner soft nature of a woman mostly calms nerves at home...why didnt the wife play it calm and submissive ,many atimes this trick plays into a mans psyche.. And he witttles down..but a woman who want tit for tat is ready to be single

Reex12:
Indeed i agree nice input
btw did you get ur nickname from the avengers

socialmediaman:
[s]That thing wey you no like, your neighbor might be having sleepless nights to have it, be careful. Shebi two people were joint as one in marriage, so why are you hiding your salary from yourself? The fact that you have money doesn’t mean you should give it all to her, that’s why billionaires are also owing banks. Even if you have 10 million in your account, if your financial planning says don’t spend more than 100K at a time then it is what it is, explain it to her and you both should live by same standards. You’re lucky that you’re not living abroad, if she divorce you that money wey you de hide will be split in two[/s]

@igwebest23

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

CharisEleos:
Are baby mamas not women?

You men should try staying on your for sometime let's see.

berrystunn:
Are you married?

emmnprince:
They are women. But I sense that's the level you have brought womanhood to by your previous advice. Another option spoken quietly from your mind.

I support a man-woman relationship in a marriage union, not a man-woman in a babymama relationship.

Kaymicheal852:
.




My brother ,REDPILL is just to know woman nature and be able to predict them ,woman are wonderful creatures and I love them so much, and I'll never advice you to dump your wife ,but I think the only thing you can do now is to ghost her completely and starved her of any attention ( don't take her food or sleep with her and don't bother to communicate with her again) just live your life like a bachelor (since you don't have kids yet and don't cheat on her )


If she don't come to you and ask what's happening,try to communicate and get you on her good side ,then you're single bro ,you don't have a wife and it's better to withdraw from having any kids with her



That means she definitely don't know a role of a husband in her life yet and she thinks she is on top of the world now because she is making money and will never respect you


As I have said earlier don't cheat on her , because when she found out you don't change to her because you have been sleeping with another woman ,she will be more devastated and come back begging on her kneels and she won't be able to put any blame on you



And if she doesn't come to you after all that then she don't mind losing you ,

After more than two months of ghosting her without cheating and she doesn't change,my brother ,get few clothes ,leave the house and move somewhere else and never look back



A word is enough for the wise