igwebest23:


The issue now is that she have enough money in her account to pay for d rent. I have seen her account balance. Why is asking me d money. I have told her am not a Yahoo guy. Am a salary earner. She was busy telling me that is d husband that supposed to pay for d wife shop rent that other people are doing it for their wife. I equally told her wife too I helping their husband. Like my sister bought Jeep for her hubby and d contributed money to build house

Norphiee:
Am sure you saw all the red flags before you tied the knots with her,... just Sit her down and talk into her senses,... I’m sure she will change

Romanoff:
This Red pill you people are swallowing, I hope you know the side effects?

People spend so much time during courtship or dating doing irrelevant things like having sex and galavanting all over the place, leaving aside important things that should be discussed like Finances, number of children, splitting of bills and chores, child care, faith, goals and ambitions, etc.

Your wife is earning enough to pay her own rent and as a fellow tailor, there is a maths to how much you charge customers which includes materials, operations cost and profit.

If you know you can't handle the financial burden on marriage, you should have discussed splitting bills with her, how much to save for projects etc.

You didn't discuss it, now she feels it's your right to pay rent for her shop while she pockets her profits and still claims you don't support her.

First error is not letting her know your salary. The positives of a woman knowing your salary outweighs the negatives if you shined your eyes and married a prudent woman.

A woman can better plan her life if she knows how much you earn factoring in your yearly rent, monthly feeding allowance, child care, savings and upkeep for both of you. You earn 100k but refused to tell her. She prolly thinks you earn over 500k and she prolly even earns more than you but since you're both not open about your finances, you're playing the blame game.

Una never know wetin marriage be, if not, you'd both be open about your finances. It's not about having joint account or she submitting her profits to you, it's about planning the little you both earn to benefit your family.

Make adjustments sir.

igwebest23:


Oga I never told u I m expectating proceed from d job. I don't ask my wife money. I have my own money. All I telling her is to use d money in her account to pay her rent since she is not contributing anything at home. U said I never opened d shop for her, do u know how much I have supported her with buying this in d shop, including machine, fans and chairs. Hope u know many ladies that are working, is that their husband that secured d job for them. At d of d month d submit their salary to d husband.

Bola146:


Your wife is too selfish and ingrate! I know she can't buy common birthday gifts for you nor the kids. What if you are financially handicap, would she not help you out Na her type no dey buy common #20 buscuit unless the father pay You know what next to do to avoid embarrassment in future. It's better to curb it now!!!! Please

igwebest23:


My brother I know my wife is my responsibility. But d issue now is that she is making money. She has like 250k saving In her account. Her shop rent is just 90k. And she wants me to pay it. D money she is making, is it ordinary paper. The issue is that ladies of this generation is different from our mum. I live in well furnished two bedroom apartment, paid by me. People are passing my wife shop seeing d level of customer going in and out, d think she is contributing to d family. Is better I marry a girl that is not doing anything that will be submissive to me. I noticed d little money she is making is entering her head.

igwebest23:


My Dear I never wanted a society wedding. Is like u don't know ladies of this generation. She was d one that was putting pressure on me that is her day,

On the issue of supporting ur wife to be. I simply wouldn't have done that cost I have not officially married her. I have seen guys opened shop t
For their fiancee and wife to be but d marriage never hold. Or she will say she no do again. Then ur investment is gone.

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

CharisEleos:
Lol... I don't know why this story is making me laugh out so loud.
Wait... You shouted at her and she fainted hahahahaaaa.... Are you odeyssey or a lion? Lol..

Well, first and foremost, you need to vomit that red pill you swallowed because that is the number one cause of your problems.

Then, if you have the money, renew the rent for her. You're her husband for crying out loud. Or why would you go and bring a lady out of her parents house and be maltreating her with your redpill baldadash?

Remember that pills have side effects. So this might just be one of them which could have a very bad outcome in your marriage if you don't spill it out now.

Oyen Redpill.

Modified:

All of you mentioning me to say spew trash, Im not surprised because its typical of most nairaland men to want a woman who will be sharing responsibilities with them. While out there, it's a different ball game.

If you know you can't cater for a woman,
leave her alone. You can't stay without a woman yet you are not willing to do what it entails to keep a woman.

For all of you, it's better to remain single than coming here to sound like a broken record. Minus OP though because OP is even still better than some of you.

Redpill kor, green pill ni. Yet they won't let my DM rest.

Tkor!

tartarus:


Thank you.
Most men on nairaland won't accept this as fact.

I'm sure not only does she run a business but she also takes care of the house, does the house chores alone etc and now he wants her to split bills 50/50...
He's not serious and isn't ready for marriage.

igwebest23:


My Dear I never wanted a society wedding. Is like u don't know ladies of this generation. She was d one that was putting pressure on me that is her day,

On the issue of supporting ur wife to be. I simply wouldn't have done that cost I have not officially married her. I have seen guys opened shop t
For their fiancee and wife to be but d marriage never hold. Or she will say she no do again. Then ur investment is gone.

igwebest23:


My brother I know my wife is my responsibility. But d issue now is that she is making money. She has like 250k saving In her account. Her shop rent is just 90k. And she wants me to pay it. D money she is making, is it ordinary paper. The issue is that ladies of this generation is different from our mum. I live in well furnished two bedroom apartment, paid by me. People are passing my wife shop seeing d level of customer going in and out, d think she is contributing to d family. Is better I marry a girl that is not doing anything that will be submissive to me. I noticed d little money she is making is entering her head.

GerogeI:
Bros, be truthful.
You started the whole thing, with your "it's my money attitude.

1. Your wife does not know how much you earn? How then will she size up or manage her expectations of you? At least if you do not what to tell her the truth , tell her what you want her to think.

2. You swallowed the red pill? Are you married or just dating her? You think marriage is about red pill. You have been acting quite stingy for a bred winner, not for what you did not give, but for the suspicion that accompanies everything you give.

3. So tell me, your wife, a tailor says she wants to open shop as a priority before getting married. Knowing she needs are career and to earn money. You said no no no, let's spend 1 millions plus on owambe. Effectively she got her people to open the shop. Probably with what you paid as bride price. Now you are going to Facebook and whatsapp snooping trying to control that income that you refused to help establish.


I think you are immature and not ready for marriage. Poor lady is responding to what you are moulding her to be. Money conscious. Money means a lot to you, and she is learning to match your attitude to survive. Do you know how many men that pray for a wife that says give me money to start some work. Most ask for money for hair, dress, or even ask you for a house for her family, but yours asked for something that could feed both of you in hard times, yet you acted like a jerk.

She is not your responsibility till marriage, you said so bluntly and hurtful. "Very legal Bro." But now she responds in like manner telling you she is not the bread winner to spend on the family, "Very Legal too" you now come to nairaland to seek advice on the foundation you laid. I think you are a simpleton masquerading as intelligent.

CharisEleos:
Lol... I don't know why this story is making me laugh out so loud.
Wait... You shouted at her and she fainted hahahahaaaa.... Are you odeyssey or a lion? Lol..

Well, first and foremost, you need to vomit that red pill you swallowed because that is the number one cause of your problems.

Then, if you have the money, renew the rent for her. You're her husband for crying out loud. Or why would you go and bring a lady out of her parents house and be maltreating her with your redpill baldadash?

Remember that pills have side effects. So this might just be one of them which could have a very bad outcome in your marriage if you don't spill it out now.

Oyen Redpill.

Modified:

All of you mentioning me to say spew trash, Im not surprised because its typical of most nairaland men to want a woman who will be sharing responsibilities with them. While out there, it's a different ball game.

If you know you can't cater for a woman,
leave her alone. You can't stay without a woman yet you are not willing to do what it entails to keep a woman.

For all of you, it's better to remain single than coming here to sound like a broken record. Minus OP though because OP is even still better than some of you.

Redpill kor, green pill ni. Yet they won't let my DM rest.

Tkor!

melodyisaac:
I wish I can meet you one on one I swear you would've received the beating of your life from me. The fact that give give her 1k every morningfor transport is enough to pay for that shop, someone that collected 420k for just apprenticeship can't pay her rent ? Mehn I really don't understand I'd some people reason from there anus

Vivian16:
Oga this your advice is demonic, you are not truthful to your fellow man, I am a woman but I hate nonsense how can a woman be so selfish,wicked and arrogant to her own husband and you are here talking rubbish I support my husband in everything no matter how small any woman that refuses to shoulder family responsibility with her husband wants her husband to break down and die pre-maturely.

Chuka200:
My brother you can never get anything from that woman even love.. if you have kids then there is a problem if not send her away too many red flags

domaya21:
I ask again, must a man marry

Saicrumam:


I disagree with all you wrote there sir
I was born into married parents and believe you are too...
Now here are my points
In my family the responsibility was shared by my dad and late mom. My dad paid rent, our fees in school, hospital bills and also provide food.
My mom takes responsibility of our welfare, like buying most home appliances, our school transport fees, day to day home maintenance bills like snacks, bread, toiletries, kerosene, church offertories....
Now who takes the heaviest load? Maybe my dad maybe my mom, maybe equal.

That's how a family is run.. D load is not for the man alone.... It never was!

We are quick to remember that a man is meant to be the provider of the family but always forget women were meant to be of support and assist for the institution to work

Even in the olden days, our Forefathers allocated land for their wives to plant vegetables, maize, cassava etc
While themselves plant yams, rice, and other produce meant for men. Those who were hunters, native doctors, allocated larger parts of their land for their wives to farm

bepositive11:


To you, 90k out of 250k is not much but to her, that leaves her with 160k. If she knows that you have a lot more than that, that's probably why she's justifying asking you to pay the rent instead.