₦airaland Forum

queenfav:
Say whatA successful business woman should be able to pay her shop rent herself.My husband has never paid my shop rent.Even fixtures and electronics i buy for my showroom,the business funds pays for it.It's her business,if she's doing things right,the rent should not be an issue.

igwebest23:
My brother I know my wife is my responsibility. But d issue now is that she is making money. She has like 250k saving In her account. Her shop rent is just 90k. And she wants me to pay it. D money she is making, is it ordinary paper. The issue is that ladies of this generation is different from our mum. I live in well furnished two bedroom apartment, paid by me. People are passing my wife shop seeing d level of customer going in and out, d think she is contributing to d family. Is better I marry a girl that is not doing anything that will be submissive to me. I noticed d little money she is making is entering her head.

chatinent:
Dear oga,

You are your own problem.

1. It isn't a must to do a wedding with ₦1m if you aren't worth it. People should learn to avoid pleasing onlookers by feeding 6000 people. The wedding is supposed to be a day of joy for you both, not for people's stomachs.


2. I noticed you have a thingy with gender roles. You are a man. Your wife is still your responsibility. You refused declaring your salary to her but is quite inquisitive on what she earns. How na baba?


Your wife probably thinks you earn ₦600k when you earn a few thousands.

Coming to the part of she sending money to a male friend, I understand you are hurt because it's a male attached.

But have you tried to understand her?

Are you always seeing yourself as right?


What's the big deal if you pay the shop rent, then, you guys build your communication thingy well?


The communication flow is broken.

Marriage is not a football match you play for halftime and retire, or you get a small injury and decide to walk out because you feel you are the chief captain.


It's a forever course...and the moment you realize this, the better for you.


I see a good wife you have there trying to stand on her feet without your support!


Treat your wife well so she'll be more opened to you.


When you start keeping secrets, trust don yapa. Some men who don't want to disclose their actual salary still tell their wives sth.

If I have a fiancee I had already paid for her dowry, I wouldn't have minded setting up the shop for her.

Afterall, she is going to be my wife.

You let her family support her when she needed you.

You mah no know say any money you spend for wedding don go? You for small invest for her business na. People wey don chop plenti plenti food that day don shit your money finish.


To think your marriage isn't up to a year is quite disheartening too.

Build your beautiful marriage, bro.

Ignore these frustrated sets tagged as redpillers here trying to project their failed lives to you.


Marriage is a gift from God.


PS: if I didn't respond your insults, take heart, I don't owe you an explanation.

BluntCrazeMan:
(@Bolded)

They can still discuss it after settling this present issues..
This is not something that must be discussed only during Courtship.

ExpertEDITOR:
@bolded. I love it when I see men on same pedestal with me. It shows there are still real men who can handle women effortlessly.

Until she opens communication channel herself, you are just wasting your time and it will give her more edge to misbehave cos she sees you re trying to make things work, which means you really do value her than she does for you.

I look at men whenever they are saying "sit her down and have an heart to heart talk".... I see them as clowns who doesn't understand women at basic level.... And they will later run to the internet to say "what do women want?"... She wants you to be a man and stop being a sissy who instead of correcting her will rather nag about it. She wants a man who will never take bullshit without registering his displeasure strongly. But most men are wimps and this make their women frustrated.

When u hate something, register ur displeasure strongly either in words or actions as the case may be. She will be the one to call for truce and negotiation..... Only through this way, will you have your peace and have what u want from her.

pedrilo:
You made a huge mistake.
You should have discussed abt finances Bd how to manage financial responsibility in your marriage b4 getting married.
You shud have gotten enuf money to set her up immediately after wedding b4 venturing.
This is d way u have laid ur bed sir. Now lay on it cos d fault is urs

brownemmanuel43:
I never knew that we still have some godamn men again in this SIMPs generation and Una bi few of them
I can't sit any godamn bitch Dow to talk heart to heart or soul to soul useless talk, whenever she is ready she should fuckingly come to me
A lady I dated back, we had misunderstanding and the lady told me that we should give ourselves a break and I accepted the break, after like a week or so it was the same lady I started begging me to come back.
Never u dance to their emotional tone

money121:
My brother this thing call marriage no be by force reason why God make the husband the Head of family
So double ur hustle

igwebest23:
My brother I know my wife is my responsibility. But d issue now is that she is making money. She has like 250k saving In her account. Her shop rent is just 90k. And she wants me to pay it. D money she is making, is it ordinary paper. The issue is that ladies of this generation is different from our mum. I live in well furnished two bedroom apartment, paid by me. People are passing my wife shop seeing d level of customer going in and out, d think she is contributing to d family. Is better I marry a girl that is not doing anything that will be submissive to me. I noticed d little money she is making is entering her head.

nwakibe:
Chai... My man sorry o. Seat her down and discuss it with her. My wife and I contributes 50% of our monthly earnings for the upkeep of the house, 20% for our individual uses and 30% for capital projects. No nonsense

wirinet:
It's difficult to discuss finances before marriage because the Nigerian economy is highly unstable and unpredictable. The OP is lucky the covid19 did not affect his job. I know many that lost their jobs or businesses last year.

The problem I see is that the OP did not use his head when deciding to get married to the wife but the lower part of his body. If he had used his head he would have seen the entitlement mentality and gold digging tendency of his then girlfriend. If she didn't spend a kobo on him during courtship, what makes him think she will give him N1k during marriage.

You mean he should have set her up immediately after spending over N1million on wedding ceremonies. Maybe you did not read his post well and assumed he is a yahoo boy. A man just recently married a wife, he has to pay house rent, pay living expenses for himself and wife and you expect him to set up the wife immediately.

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

igwebest23:
Funny she came back this evening,and greeted me,I no reply. She is chasing me from one room to another. Am giving her cold silent treatment. She must knee down and apologize for raising her voice insulting me to the hearing of our neighbors. See me oo. I know many broke guys living in abject poverty that their wife respect and worship. I don't know why my wife talk loud when ever she is angry. I feel embarrassed. But when she is sober, she start calling me the d best man in d world, that she is happy she married a man like me that don't smoke, drink or womanize. That am d king of man she prayed for. But when ever she is angry she starte raising her voice and start calling me names. Ladies are confused.

ExpertEDITOR:
@ the bolded I doubt you read the op. That wife is a selfish and greedy wife nothing less nothing more.

Thegeneralqueen:
Shortup lier

pedrilo:
Dem force am marry?
B4 u venture into marriage, u must be mentally, financially, medically, physically and spiritually ready so u dnt end up fighting with ur partner

ExpertEDITOR:
Another ill raised girl. Sorry, I am not here to throw banters with girls.

DryMouth:
Dear Useless future wife,

If you try sh*t like dis for me, I will break your head.
I dnt have time for petting women. Also, jst knw i didn't marry you for love. I only married you to produce cute babies and the marriage is prone to be broken at any given moment.

DON'T TRY ME AT HOME

money121:
My brother this thing call marriage no be by force reason why God make the husband the Head of family
So double ur hustle

Depressed101:
person like me will wipe her account, and have her come and tell me if I saw the money in her account, that it's no where to be found. I will reply her I thought you said you don't have money, she explain tire... Nonsensical selfish beings

okine4real:
I swear I dey always wonder if guys of now a days dey close eyes before them marry. What kind of stupid talk you talking? Your wife dey do this, she dey do that, you know dey see before you marry? You guys think marriage is about pussy and dick? For marriage you go see dick and pussy, you go tire, reality would set in. What kind of women do you guys marry? Your wife is suppose to be chasing you andnt the other way round. So far your hustle tight, your wife suppose dey chase you. Guy husbands know dey outside, so for a fact that you dey even give her food, give give her roof, you suppose dey flex, if you never reach house by 8pm, she suppose dey use call dey chase you to confirm say you done dey come house know be say you dey hangout with one babe.

I swear my wife dey thief my money small small, although na 1k, 500 naira etc, sometimes the money go done reach like 10k, I swear na my children and myself she dey spend am on at the day. She know dey even use am for herself. Your wife suppose dey cherish you. Na only you suppose dey her head, guys open your eyes when you won marry, marriage is not a mirage ohh, na reality. You got bills to pay, if your wife is not working, its a different ball game, but she dey make money and she know fit assist for house, guy na another person wife you marry ohh. Last week my wife go buy sandals for my children, she spend like 15k plus, she call me for work say she done go buy scandals ohh but she go tell my children say na me buy am, when I come back from work, na from door three of my children dey thank me, after I finish with my children I come go find my wife trouble, I tell am say make she know think say na she buy those scandals ohh, say make she remember say na all my money when she thief ohh, we just laugh... As a man, your wife suppose dey adore you. As someone said on nairaland the other day, ONLY YOU SUPPOSE BE YOUR WIFE FRIEND. Guys when una won marry open your eyes. Marriage is not child's play, you can go to work, stress your head, plan how make money everyday only for your wife to dey mess you up, haba now... If you be female self, you can't even come close to meself because my wife na LION. She love me more than she loves herself. We have almost a perfect marriage. Even if I keep 10M for house, for like 1 Month, highest money when go miss inside know go pass 10k, and I guarantee you,inside that 10k, I done chop 5k inside one way for the other.

seanwilliam:
just shut up jare!!!

Who bears the house responsibilities?? Who paid for foods , her transport and other stuffs? You're just dumbass nigha... I feel like slapping u

Godada:

Well Elderly advice
My prayers is, I pray she's not pregnant people like her Never CHANGE I Repeat NEVER CHANGE HER mentality is drawn from the Street.


This matter has not gotten to the point of sending her away. Do you have a marriage sponsor? It's time to get them involved. Also you need to call a meeting among the elders to iron out house keeping and management. It is usually a male ego thing as well as a societal responsibility forced on men but at this age, it's not out of place for a woman to contribute to the needs of the family.

It's imperative that she contributes to the family welfare or at least she takes care of herself alone this should include her clothing, needs and paying for her shop. If she cant afford to pay for herself it spells she doesn't know what she doing and the shop should be closed.

About her insulting you, she should be warned in the strictest manner possible that a repeat cannot be tolerated.

On a final note, It's obvious you didn't know what you were getting into. Her asking about your salary and demanding for a shop should have raised red flags. But I can guess you got carried away.

It's not wise to spend so lavishly on a wedding when you could have had her choose between wedding and a shop.
Your wife is a selfish woman.

I hope the elders from both family can resolve this matter. Your marriage is too young for such misunderstanding

wirinet:
If one must be be mentally, financially, medically, physically and spiritually ready before marrying, believe me no body will marry. We will all just be doing baby mammas and baby daddys. Guys will simply patronize oloshos to cure konji and many ladies will reach menopause without getting boyfriends not to talk of husbands.

seanwilliam:
I’ll disown him as my son , if he were to be one..

Nonsense ..

Why would someone be advocating that a man should be 100% financially responsibility in this kind of economy??

Owologbo:
She should pay her shop rent and any expenses concerning the running of her shop since she's not contributing anything to the house or close the shop and be a full house wife na.
I can't be footing such bills when you are to me as a wife without a job. kukuma stay home.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Nawao. This nah small matter.
Op send her back to her parents house and let her stay there until she is ready for marriage.

As a redpiller,you dont need to bring this little issue here.

pedrilo:
So, op is obviously not ready.