₦airaland Forum

At 7yrs, I follow my elder sis to a neighbor's wedding in another town. The neighbor's son who happened to host us in his room is a terrible guy.

As an innocent mindless little boy, I saw and heard terrible things in the dark of the night. 23years later I still see that guy who is now a man as a bad person.

I think I bed wet that day because am afraid to stand up in the middle of the fornication

Nothing

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Mitsurugi:
He's asleep Aunty. Yes, I put the holes in his condom. I'll make sure we f.ck when he wakes up.

Na teflon dem wan use tie you down o

Pim I won't say anything

Lol .... you're the real definition of Maradona..

Skyfornia:
If only lalasticlala will come and tell his own story.

One time I had a visitor, she slept over and by midnight I saw her going through my things, she thought I was sleeping. She took my gold chain and hid inside her bag, I just kept quiet.

By morning when she was planning to leave, as soon as she entered the bathroom to freshen up, I opened her bag and took my chain back..

Cause of that I didn't bother to give her tfare, lied to her that I'll transfer some money to her..

She didn't bother much bout the tfare cause in her mind she already have the gold chain


I don't know how she must have felt after discovering the chain is no longer in her bag...she never called me again and I never bothered too

praiseneo:
Was pretending to be asleep when my babe wanted to unlock my phone she come first call her friend for phone de ask am if e de advisable cos she saw me opening my phone the night before that day so she cram the password

I just stretch body after she make the call finish do like person wey don sleep finish. Cos if she open that phone, earthquake go happen only inside our room

Nawa o..but how do you guys stay in a relationship without being free to handle eachother's cell phone?...smh

I don't fancy pressing her phone as a guy, but it shouldn't get locked likewise mine...

Hahahaha mek I laugh first. When I was 10years old, I went to visit my elder brother in his one room apartment just to spend two days because that time he was a fresh graduate. In the night he called his girlfriend to come they were all in bed while I was sleeping on the mat, they pretended as if they didn't want to to anything. Me as a bad boy , On my mind I was like today na today I must see how una go take do am. Around past eleven, I started soft snoring, both of them whispered in a low tone, "he is sleeping " "he has slept off". After few minutes, my brother took style and called me twice, I didn't respond, I was snoring, he told his girlfriend that I slept off. They started their football game, I heard a voice like pussy cat crying , I was laughing in my mind, after a while, she stopped crying like pussy cat. I later heard okay put it by yourself �����

Martdc:
Uncle and wife talked how I have over stayed in their house and they planned on sending me out

Damn

How could she do such?

Skyfornia:
If only lalasticlala will come and tell his own story.

One time I had a visitor, she slept over and by midnight I saw her going through my things, she thought I was sleeping. She took my gold chain and hid inside her bag, I just kept quiet.

By morning when she was planning to leave, as soon as she entered the bathroom to freshen up, I opened her bag and took my chain back..

Cause of that I didn't bother to give her tfare, lied to her that I'll transfer some money to her..

She didn't bother much bout the tfare cause in her mind she already have the gold chain


I don't know how she must have felt after discovering the chain is no longer in her bag...she never called me again and I never bothered too

Michelle55:
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Biglittlelois:
So many things about my humble self, human beings ehn, if not that it's not good to be alone, I'd have transported myself to a different world, sometimes you'd hear things about yourself and be like "Na me dem dey refer to like this" nawa, to be humble is a problem, to be reserved is a problem, to be an introvert is a problem, to be opinionated and straight forward is a problem, God help us.

You have a point if not doing some nasty things has some consequences and answer to God I would have done mine
Keep quiet problem,no keep quiet problem.
Imagine somebody that is helping me with something telling me I ask too much questions why if I leave him for months he will not even relay any information to me or try to do something.

BarrElChapo:
Na teflon dem wan use tie you down o

No be small thing...

moscobabs:
She asked my friend for quicky and I pretended as if I heard nothing until I visit them with Cutlass in the bathroom while on doggy

Saikpo

Goalnaldo:
I use to tell people who care to listen that I am the silent listener to every conversation. I can pretend to be asleep and people will think I'm actually sleeping.

I experienced a lot of this but one stood out.

I went to buy HND form and I stayed in the house of my former roommate.

He and his current roommate came back from lectures and saw me sleeping ( or so they thought) They said I just came to someone's house I can't wash plates, just eat and sleep. One of them said are you sure this guy is sleeping? The other one reply yes and they continue to slander. I got up from the bed and went straight to the kitchen to wash plates. You need to see the surprise in their eyes

Lol..fvck shit mennh
You for just continue the sleep..
I really don't like stressing my visitors..even if their cloths are dirty, I don't mind washing it for them..

I was about 6 years old then.
My parents went to the village to attend one of my uncle's traditional wedding and my father's younger sister invited her boyfriend in. We slept in same room with her. I and my siblings slept off. As I woke up in the midnight to ease myself, I noticed the young man on top of my auntie...both of them stark naked. The young man was bouncing up and down of top of aunty. I quickly rushed to them and gave the young man a punch on the back asking him to leave my auntie alone and get out our house! Come and see surprise!
The next morning my auntie bribed me with big cup of ice cream and I promised not to tell...

Martdc:
Uncle and wife talked how I have over stayed in their house and they planned on sending me out

Lol. It happens

Mine was when I was a kid. My dad used to buy things for us when he was coming back home from work so that night he came back and my siblings happily told my dad that I was fast asleep(they forgot that I always sleep with the buttons of my senses on). When they were able to share the national cake, I stood up and screamed...' I'm not sleeping!' Come and see how my siblings were disappointed

Offpoint1:
Happen to understand 9 Nigeria languages, and till date only my immediate family know this... I've been in a lot compounds with different tribes and some say shits
about me in their dialect which I understand, till date I've never let anyone know I understand their language.


I like being mysterious

How possible is it for you to understand 9 Nigerian languages?

Try eavesdropping on girls, you go fear. They talk about all sorts of nasty things most especially sex. They even discuss about which guy good, which one no good. Which guy get big gbola, which one no get big gbola.

Last week I parked by the roadside in the evening to buy some things. Some secondary school kids (girls) passed close to my window and were discussing about how one ayokunle don fvck almost all the girls finish for class. Lmao

SimeonOTC:
Lol..fvck shit mennh
You for just continue the sleep..
I really don't like stressing my visitors..even if their cloths are dirty, I don't mind washing it for them..

where is your house located? I have some clothes I need to wash but I'm lazy at the moment

Ishilove:
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Michelle55:
Thank you Ishilove

You're welcome dear

Hilarious !

Goalnaldo:
I use to tell people who care to listen that I am the silent listener to every conversation. I can pretend to be asleep and people will think I'm actually sleeping.

I experienced a lot of this but one stood out.

I went to buy HND form and I stayed in the house of my former roommate.

He and his current roommate came back from lectures and saw me sleeping ( or so they thought) They said I just came to someone's house I can't wash plates, just eat and sleep. One of them said are you sure this guy is sleeping? The other one reply yes and they continue to slander. I got up from the bed and went straight to the kitchen to wash plates. You need to see the surprise in their eyes

I woke up to the moaning of my friend with benefit receiving from another guy from behind, naso I continue to pretend to sleep.

Don't give a Bleep about that. How about asking what is said about you when you transition to the great beyond unknown.

Martdc:
Uncle and wife talked how I have over stayed in their house and they planned on sending me out

How many times will I tell you people, get your own apartment and stop squatting with people even if he's a family member. For the first few weeks/months, they'll be kind and nice but It's only a matter of time before they start getting tired of you and thinking of ways to send you parking.

NewDelhi:
Try eavesdropping on girls, you go fear. They talk about all sorts of nasty things most especially sex. They even discuss about which guy good, which one no good. Which guy get big gbola, which one no get big gbola.

Last week I parked by the roadside in the evening to buy some things. Some secondary school kids (girls) passed close to my window and were discussing about how one ayokunle don fvck almost all the girls finish for class. Lmao

Na wa o. At that age the only things we discussed were GCE and who was back biting who in class

RedAlert08:
How possible is it for you to understand 9 Nigerian languages?

Because I've move around Nigeria a lot...