My Husband paid N580K for my Bride price and refused to help my family members
~ Nigerian Lady

A Nigerian Lady Identified as Elohor Okudu narrates how her husband has refused to help her own family members after paying almost N580k bride Price.

The story was shared by a twitter user identified as @SmartAtuadi, the lady is seeking professional advice as the issue bothers her.

She Wrote: “I got married 8months ago, my hubby earns 70k monthly while I am yet to get a job, during our wedding ceremony, hubby spent about 580k on the list given to him for the traditional wedding, I persuaded my parents to reduce the list but they said it is a must and a tradition.”

“He was able to raise the money as I wasnt working and I couldn’t help financially. After marriage I suggested that he should be sending something monthly to my parents as he does send to his parents too, but to my surprise the reply he gave me was that he didn’t owe my parents anything that they have collected all they are entitled to fromHelpNigerianally I was not angry about that until my younger brother wanted to get married and his bride family gave him list of things for the traditional wedding which amounted to 400k.”

“My dad then shared the expenses and told my husband to contribute 120k towards my brother’s wedding but to my surprise, my husband said no and told me that my family has collected all they wanted during our wedding and they shouldn’t come to him for any financial assistance, this got me angry and I told him that he is not responsible.”

“Ever since then we have been living like strangers in the house, he doesn’t talk to me, he has just been keeping to himself, and I have never seen him this way before not even in our 2 years of courting.

“Please our mummies and daddies, kindly advise me on what to do to save the situation, I am in between my husband and my family”.

#areatalkreport

Source:https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=586096619460875&id=102858197784722

I believe you bought that cloth your wore to snap this pic from a shop.
When last did you go and help the shop owner clean his/her shop.
Your family sold you, you are a solid product.
Calling your husband irresponsible shows that you are not different from your family.

complexBoss12:


Your example is both funny and demeaning, tho I get your point, bt it's not exactly the same thing. I am not saying the lady is right, by the way.

The lady's family didn't take her into considerations

colestephan86:

Hello , encourage her. Be matured

All she should do is to go and apologies to her husband. Let her husband help her family willingly not as an obligation.

you can not eat your cake and have it back

He has really tried.. shows he loves you. You will be surprise what most men will do from the day they saw that compulsory list.

Dear lady it seems you're there to render the young man useless.

Have you ever asked if he has finished paying back the money he payed your bride price with?
Cant you start up something so you can help your family as he did to his instead of carrying both family with 70k salary?

When looking for partner, beware of liability that comes with entitlement mentality.

Imagine the reaction of a wife the man marry , A good wife that was train well and understand the situation of things now Should stand with her husband or even respectfully beg him to contribute any amount if he which. Why must he as in-law contribute for his wife brother to get married ? I stand with the husband in any decisions he makes and that's what is expected from his wife .

When you buy a car, do you go back to assist the seller? So many parents fail the test here. They fail to understand that marriage is a union not a transaction. You get united with another family and hence share also her burden (if any). But where you get it all at the initial stage, be ready also to starve at the later stage.

He paid #580k for your bride price knowing he earns #70k that means a full salary of 8 months and more.

If your family labour him your brother's wedding expenses of #120k that means a total of #700k which means he has served your family with his 10 months salary. Just two more months to make him a slave of 1 full calendar year denying him his full salary for him to satisfy your family.

If you are not careful, this man will use you for rituals to uplift himself out of poverty.

Just let your brother go Hussle for himself.

Him self wan marry, wan do like real men but cannot gather ordinary 400k. Still have to do sharing formular.

Una Family Get Mind Die! After Such Money? Una Family No Try

U must be very senseless to bring dis issue to nairaland. And I must say u are rather wicked.
U wan finish ur husband

Correct husband.

I will do the same when ever I get married.

The story na fiction.

Good one from the man!

Sister, build your home with your husband and not your family member.

If he gives in to this, it will not stop. U better apologize and be a wife to your man.

Happy married life

It's well

As usual with lots of naija women, this one wants to use marriage to improve her family's standard of living.

Kudos to the husband for standing his ground.

If her brother cannot afford 400k to pay for his own marriage list, he should kuku remain single. This thing is not by force.



A piece of advise to young men:
If you have struggled to save up 400k on your own, don't go and use it to do marriage I beg you.
Take am go buy keke and give someone who will be paying you weekly returns, or look for something legit to invest in. The idea is to make that money back...

You people will just see small money, and the next thing you want to do is marry – marriage that you will continue pouring money inside without seeing 1naira profit.
Una get sense at all?

She Wrote: “I got married 8months ago, my hubby earns 70k monthly while I am yet to get a job, during our wedding ceremony, hubby spent about 580k on the list given to him for the traditional wedding,

...this got me angry and I told him that he is not responsible


You are right, if he's responsible perhaps he would have known;
i) That you are not considerate enough (580k spent within 8months ago with salary of below 100k).

ii) That you are liability for now and should have waited.

iii) That you won't care to know how he got the money to settle your father. How much indebted he is all because he has to pay 580k to have you.

iv) That a responsible man does things when he has the capacity.
Sadly....because of money a marriage (man)of barely 8months is called irresponsible Man? I wonder how his life will be after retirement!

This one is plenty.

Firstly, you wrote your full name and still put the innocent man's pics which is very wrong.

Can I ask you a question? How many in-laws contributed to the #580k he used in paying for your bride price?

If the answer is no, then he have nothing to pay for someone else's wife.

As a woman, you're expected to protect your husband from your family because you are both one ... he's not earning much, you know his capabilities and still choose to disgrace him before your family and now publicly.

Will you prefer he venture into illegal means of making money to satisfy your parents?


A wise woman builds her home... build yours ma'am.

Thank you Sir.

Shishi no go come your parent house again.

Shebi dem don sell you already?

Some people think disgusting attitude is a culture .. your ancestors were greedy, wicked and primitive

Na everyday una dey recycle dis story? I've read dis story severally here on nairaland and it's beginning to sound made up.. To all the young women out there, marriage is not an investment for your mother and father and siblings to reap huge returns from, U shld be more concerned with helping the young man build up the family U both have agreed to start... If U want to help ur father and his family financially, go and get a job

Why does he need to contribute out of compulsion for a wedding? Seems you are yet to understand what marriage is our you are not ready for marriage.

That lady must be very foolish.

You and your family wan kill the man abi? Useless people!

Your husband married you without any financial help nor consideration from your family, if your brother is a real man, he should behave like one, the way your hubby did, your husband can't marry a wife for him.

Igbos are good at that even after marriage they'll still be
sharing bills to the bride's husband like they've done a
great favor giving their daughter over to the man. just
Imagine

Stay away from 9ja girls, stay completely away but will Nigerian guys listen? No

Kandeed:
Igbos are good at that even after marriage they'll still be sharing bills to the bride's husband like they've done a great favor giving their daughter over to the man

Imagine

You could still make your point without calling a tribe or circus.

This is how we start online war among ourselves.

You could reframe it saying..." Some people or tribes are good at that even..."

N70k ??

Another old recycled story.

Easyincome24:

You could still make your point without calling a tribe or circus.

This is how we start online war among ourselves.

You could reframe it saying..." Some people or tribes are good at that even..."

I'm calling em out cuz it's very wrong. you don't dish out bride price like ur selling away ur daughter and call that culture. No that is not culture but a complete jungle act

This is a very old story, and I think it's wrong attaching those images

Who does that This woman is wicked oo... U better go find a job and stop disturbing that hardworking man... Ur family sold u to him as if he is buying tokunbo car the only difference is that there won't be receipts to back it up... Tell ur family to find the money for ur brothers wedding... Wetin una do that man na him dem dey do una... Let him be and go get a job.. Why do some women like to be dependent like this... Shameless wife.

crackhaus:
As usual with lots of naija women, this one wants to use marriage to improve her family's standard of living.

Kudos to the husband for standing his ground.

If her brother cannot afford 400k to pay for his own marriage list, he should kuku remain single. This thing is not by force.



A piece of advise to young men:
If you have struggled to save up 400k on your own, don't go and use it to do marriage I beg you.
Take am go buy keke and give someone who will be paying you weekly returns, or look for something legit to invest in. The idea is to make that money back...

You people will just see small money, and the next thing you want to do is marry – marriage that you will continue pouring money inside without seeing 1naira profit.
Una get sense at all?

From your second paragraph "on the piece of advise" is something I wish every young man especially those from humble homes will listen to.

You spend years looking for a job or overseeing your business to profitability and the first thing that comes to your is marriage. Haba!

TalkTalkTwins:
This is a very old story, and I think it's wrong attaching those images

The source of the story is attached as a link. Click it and verify about the photo too.

After selling you at such ridiculous amount?
Don't they know you don't finish marrying a woman? He has finished marrying you na, so mk them eat that one till eternity. Didn't you tell them?

Kandeed:
Igbos are good at that even after marriage they'll still be
sharing bills to the bride's husband like they've done a
great favor giving their daughter over to the man. just
Imagine

Stay away from 9ja girls, stay completely away but will Nigerian guys listen? No

See am