After 3 years of courtship, you re just discovering this? What were you doing during courtship?
You ought to have seen these things 6 months tops, courtship is for discovery of partners attributes not fornication.
I think you want to quit because you ve seen a bigger cassava.

Confused girl, I swear village people dey on top of your matter.

Your eyes go clear when the man go dump you and marry another woman.

mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

udemzyudex:


She said many red flags and I was even thinking she will list his bad habits only to read about her religious views.

Imagine saying she gave her life to christ for converting from Catholic to Pentecostal

She's too religious abeg, very funny post.

A MAD bitch

francdec4:
What kind of advise does it look she need. Someone who clearly stated he isn't a born again because he is a Catholic does that person need that kind of advise you are presenting. I know this kind of situation as long as that lady don't get him to join her in her so called "born again" mode that man will always feel unwanted. Let her leave him since according to you she knows what she wanted. Am sure here are many of her kind where she has joined or let the new pastor find one for her and let the man find his own type. it's simple.

Most advice here is from people who are angry that she doesn't consider him born again. But she is right in her own belief.

Whether you think the man is unwanted or not is up to the man in question. I know the discrimination I've faced from Catholics, so I'm not going to go into that.

It's not as if Catholics think Pentecostals are Christians the way they are, therefore no need for Catholics to play the victim cards here.

It has nothing to do with pastors or any other allegations here, but simply her conviction as a Pentecostal. She wants a Christian who isn't lukewarm, and the man in question is. Plus he's Catholic, and as Catholics have made me understand, they are different to other Christians. It's obviously an issue for her.

She will make the decision she will live with, not angry guilt tripping from Catholics and others who don't seem to understand her point of view. When did it become a crime for a born again Christian to want to marry a born again Christian? Suddenly people telling her she will be single at 50, just because she wants what she wants. Too much bile and anger and no real points raised. Suddenly spirit filled people are evil etc. It's never an issue if a Sunni wants to marry a Sunni.

The only advice to her is to ignore his religious inclinations since he's supposedly a Christian too. But there is more that she's not telling us about this.

Dear Mugnmuffin,
Your explanations are quite understandable.
1. Both of you were Catholics at the time you met and fell in love.
2. God graciously saved you during your NYSC.
3. At this stage particularly after introduction you’ve got to engage in serious intercession for your fiancé to be saved as well. Give it time. Don’t rush into the main marriage yet. Continue to invite him to church. You never can tell, one of these days he also will give his life to Christ.
4. Don’t tell him or your parents that you are calling off the marriage yet. Be patient. Consider that if he’s the one who get saved first, how would you feel if he jilts you after introduction.
5. I believe with prayers he too will be saved. Just be patient. If you don’t mind send me his names. I’ll be praying along with you for his salvation and you will testify by God’s grace.

Lollittaa:

may I have his pH number? I need to correct him in the ways of the Lord

Lolittaa!!!!, you wan snatch another woman's fine man?

mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Op dont come here when you reach 40 years to lament,men are trash,they only want to use and dump.
If you were my sister, i will advise you to grab that guy with both hands before he slips away.
Love is something you can never buy or find easily.It is a foundation of a good marriage and healthy environnment for your future children.
Religious home without love is a house in crisis.

Blakjewelry:

Lol she actually sounds like my girlfriend

Bro run for ur life such woman never makes a good wife

Your Pastor and Prophet dey deceive you..
It is better you marry a man that bothered of you loves each other that marry a born again cos you may be disappointed when you see the true colour of your so called born again.

Again stop preaching to your man, it annoys, be the change you want him to be, live the life not talk the talk.

@T Loc nicely stated

Tloc:


My dear young lady, that path of religious piety which you assume you on is your step to DOOM. Stay woke and refine your RELIGIOUS views to be in tandem with contemporary life realities and grow your inert spirituality. Be far away from religious extremism and you would live a more fulfilled LIFE. I am sure that young man's mind and soul is purer than all your Pentecostal pastors' put together. Shalom.

you read this comment @ mugnmuffin , keep it close to your mind. Why do you keep makimg excuses

Being a catholic makes him not qualified to be your husband...lmao. You are your own problem.

Vireani79:


The question is are roman Catholic christains

Some people may end up responding to this with a religious perspective.

Scripturally to be a christian is not entirely limited to which denomination one belongs to but an individual's fellowship and relationship with God. Given that individual is first a believer, a born again and a disciple of Jesus Christ.

ufotty2001:
she is not married.. I am an average man, I don't smoke, don't drink alcohol or don't womanize.. only thing she see that make are say like that is because am not a church goer or properly I don't speak in tough.

Just imagine.

Bola146:
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it. Maybe you should ask yourself what is causing the confusion

I was gonna ask this.

But you see this Christianity arguments? I really don't indulge myself in it. Let them flow the way it's seen/understood

CHRISTIANITY? so fake.
Thats the reason for the fake edited and re-edited bible ya'all been holding.
Protestant, pentecostal etc. don't even see each other as christian.
So because the guy still want to remain a catholic you saying its a red flag just because you have swap your faith to worship a pastor who owns a private jet and move on a convoyed?

Frankly, you're talking nonsense.

Eduboy1990:
Get what she is saying born again child of God is different from normal Christian or church goers so try to understand

BRATISLAVA:

Most advice here is from people who are angry that she doesn't consider him born again. But she is right in her own belief.

Whether you think the man is unwanted or not is up to the man in question. I know the discrimination I've faced from Catholics, so I'm not going to go into that.

It's not as if Catholics think Pentecostals are Christians the way they are, therefore no need for Catholics to play the victim cards here.

It has nothing to do with pastors or any other allegations here, but simply her conviction as a Pentecostal. She wants a Christian who isn't lukewarm, and the man in question is. Plus he's Catholic, and as Catholics have made me understand, they are different to other Christians. It's obviously an issue for her.

She will make the decision she will live with, not angry guilt tripping from Catholics and others who don't seem to understand her point of view. When did it become a crime for a born again Christian to want to marry a born again Christian? Suddenly people telling her she will be single at 50, just because she wants what she wants. Too much bile and anger and no real points raised. Suddenly spirit filled people are evil etc. It's never an issue if a Sunni wants to marry a Sunni.

The only advice to her is to ignore his religious inclinations since he's supposedly a Christian too.

Unfortunately muslims have this kind of problem too.TMC dont allow members to marry non members,if you do the group turns against you.
They can matchmake riff raffs with educated persons.

zed7:
If your only complaint is that he isn't a fanatic then you have no problem.
A well behaved moralist is better off than a religious fanatic without morals.

Way to go

Bodinya:
You take Catholics as infidels, the root and the backbone of Christianity.
How will you get married or a better character that man can see in you?
Absolutely no.

Are u really sure Catholicism is d root of Christianity?

I don't have a perfect knowledge of the history of the religion of the Romans, and I don't care what they practice there, but if we look at what is happening today, how come u hardly see any Pentecostal change to Catholicism, but we have millions of Catholics turning to the Pentecostal churches?

Can they all be wrong?

Then have u ever asked yourself why Catholics don't usually have any issues mingling with Pentecostals, but Pentecostals are very wary of them? Do u ever have any issues with someone whom u think is getting it right?

You have no point my dear. Assuming that he is not a "born again" because he is a Catholic is myopic to say the least. You are obviously supporting her because you share in her believe system too which is very lowly to think Catholics are less of Christian because he is not in her church. For his sanity I really wish he leave that relationship cos this lady will make life difficult for him if he refuses to join her. Let her pastor find a husband for her. I shouldn't be replying you anymore if you have this kind of mentality.

BRATISLAVA:



Most advice here is from people who are angry that she doesn't consider him born again. But she is right in her own belief.

Whether you think the man is unwanted or not is up to the man in question. I know the discrimination I've faced from Catholics, so I'm not going to go into that.

It's not as if Catholics think Pentecostals are Christians the way they are, therefore no need for Catholics to play the victim cards here.

It has nothing to do with pastors or any other allegations here, but simply her conviction as a Pentecostal. She wants a Christian who isn't lukewarm, and the man in question is. Plus he's Catholic, and as Catholics have made me understand, they are different to other Christians. It's obviously an issue for her.

She will make the decision she will live with, not angry guilt tripping from Catholics and others who don't seem to understand her point of view. When did it become a crime for a born again Christian to want to marry a born again Christian? It's never an issue if a Sunni wants to marry a Sunni.

The only advice to her is to ignore his religious inclinations since he's supposedly a Christian too.

mumu girl.

Sister, don't mind those frustrated soul there sis. They are trying to twist your word like inferior in other to bring mocking to the house of God. Don't bother to reply them because they can make you to sin against God.

Bact to your question sis introduction is meaningless, u can quit now

It's good to consider spiritual minded person like you for marriage so that your future/marriage will not have issues

Sis, it's not easy to manage a person that have different views with you or let me say a church goer that did not know about Christ.

Their heart is hardened unless they are saved, try to explain it to your mum in a way that she will understand you quickly.

I also having the same issue with you though I have end it immediately I reason and checked that I cannot cope with it, I need someone that will grow my spiritual life no not someone that will downgrade it.

May God provide better patner for us in Jesus name.

Shalom

Blakjewelry:

Lol she actually sounds like my girlfriend

Haha...she does??

wrong place to seek for advice in the first place. what do you expect those who don't understand what it means to be save and building a home on a strong spiritual foundation advice? you don't marry out of physical attraction. basic checks before decision are 1. spiritual checks 2. emotional checks, 3. mental maturity 4 financial checks. most time this last point may not necessarily count. but the first and second most be give good attention. the third can be built on.

also, don't be driven by pity or sentiment. take the right decision now so you don't live to regret for the rest of your life. I have a friend who spent over #200,000 to do introduction but when he later realised he was making a wrong choice, he stopped the marriage process. today he's so happy with the decision he eventually took. Don't be afraid, God will never disappoint you.

PrinceMajestic:
A MAD bitch

Who will kneel down for her pastor and ask to be equal to a man that paid her bride price and remove shame from her face.
Even her younger sister is married.

Raalsalghul:
Can someone tell what the red flags are?

-Catholism!!
-Religious fanatism!!

mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *nsigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

PLEAS LISTEN TO MY ADVISE DOMT MARRY HIM I BEG U. That very awesome and amazing guy deserves a good intelligent lady, a lady that knows herself and where she's heading to than u. Ur reallyy dumb and will be the worst thing to happen to him. I pray he leaves u or by all means please don't marry him. He deserves a human being and not a cadaver that has been brainwashed by pastors and all. I don't even pity u one bit. We need less fools in marriage, I pray he doesn't marry u. Marriage is not something for foolzzzz. He's only crime is that he's not a religious fanatic like u... GOD PLS DONT LET THAT GUY MARRY THIS EMPTY BRAIN PLSS.

Bola146:
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it. Maybe you should ask yourself what is causing the confusion

May God bless you richly.

mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Wtf is wrong with you
You get a good man and just because he ain’t in your church you don’t think he fits in spiritually
Shebi your parents are Catholics
So
I guess der re in the same category

If you like no tell us say Na witch Dey worry you make we deliver you with holy water and Mary

**spits**

jaeyking:
After the first paragraph I just realized that you are NOT SERIOUS
so when you were a Catholic you were not saved, you got saved in a pentecostal church
Hmmm madam till you meet lion before u go know wetin dey xup

I feel depressed for my data, honestly!

binary007:
You dated for 3 years and you are just getting convinced that he isn't the one after introduction?

E no shock u say na now village pipo wan mean madam @op case... After introduction sef

You actually are not a true Christan, you just think you are.