juman:
The couple should take the kids father to the court.
Demanding for upkeep money from him.
The court will force him to pay some money for the kids need to the mother.

I'll delay the implementation till thy kingdom come

ugodson:


Am separated from my x for over 3years now I have tried to reach her about my 2kids she took away from me no response. I want to be in their lives but I still don't understand her. I have asked about the school account and her personal own or she should open account for the kids where I can be sending up keeps but to no avail.

Secondly how sure are you that his the father of the kids? She she telling you the truth about their separation? Fear Woman my guy make research your self bro.[/b]

Baba you sure say no be your pikins be that

CHoccolaTE:
This is why marriage doesn't favor women.

Imagine sacrificing her career and ability to make real money so that you can focus on raising children that bear another man's name, then after divorce you are back to square one. The evil ex-husband refuses to take care of his children then their mother who is too old to get any meaningful job starts running helter skelter to take care of them.

Men are so evil.

Who raised you Kid ??

Karlovych:
By the time they are through with you, you will realise that this life is not a Tyler Perry movie. You are going through this headache over someone else's children and I'm sure she's yet to give you your own biological child. Those kids will remind you that you are not their father when the time comes.
Step-father of the year

Lol @ stepfather of the year.

pocohantas:
I don’t know when women would learn that their motherly love is second to what is best for the kids in event of separation. I said it the other day and I will say it again. You are not the only one that loves your kids! Some men love their kids, way more than they love the mother.

A man can be an irresponsible husband, but remain a very responsible father.

If he is capable of taking care of his kids, let him have them! They can visit you during the holidays or some weekends.

How do you feel holding on to kids that you can’t give a good life all because you are their mother and convinced yourself that you are what they need?

Jeez!!

To be frank, i never wanted to comment here, because if i did, i will be exchanging insults with romanoff, so i ignored.

I think you are one of the reasonable ladies registered here on Nairaland.

Some fathers have been the ones taking care of the kids while the so called good mother thinks her job is the ultimate, but when issues pop, the ladies are now bag of love and care carriers and the man is seen as deadbeat.

@romanoff a mother of 2 who is already married within a year of separation with her husband, passed no message to you but you are here reading all what a book taught you without the ability to reason or have your conscience walk in the mans shoes.

N/B: No 2 marriage is the same and no 2 divorce is the same so stop measuring with same tool.

seangy4konji:
Na problem hide for corner you go one torch light look for am...

As single girl deh everywhere deh go pastor adeboye church and oyedepo you say na after 2....engine weh don enter 0-40 na hin you wan rebore...

Jesus carry him cross....you go carrry this one alone also...No come here disturb ooo...after two put honey for puna for you...u wan die there you no know no say buhari go be president

Guy you harsh.. wetin!!

perambulator:


I hate this characterisation of the father as a dead beat. The man has said he will provide the kids if they are under his roof but he will not pay for another man to raise his children. Perfectly understandable.

From the story, the woman herself sounds ireesponsible. How do you carry 2 children away from the security of their wealthy father and go and marry a man without finance? if anything it's the man she married (the OP) that is a dead beat because he cannot provide for the wife and her children he willingly though stupidly entered into. Firstly for turning himself into a cuckold and secondly for entering a maaraige without the finances.

Thank I no know why Romanoff no dey use sense for this one. Maybe she's clouded with emotions. Before the woman married op even though she's separated from the ex who is paying the bills. I can bet that the man has been sending money to her to cater for their needs, now she's married why will the man be sending money for another man to raise his own children. Since she don't want to take the children to their father that means she and her new husband are up to the task of taking care of them.

I’m

wellmax:


This is a simple case. She should take him to court. Once you father children, you are responsible for their upkeep, no matter where the children are with.

If it's Lagos State, it is much easier to achieve. Lagos has a law to this effect.

You think Nigeria revolves around Lagos right? Bold of you to assume the man is based in Lagos.

Romanoff:

Why not just ignore.

Why not stop talking? Your posts reeks of stupidity and it's headache inducing

DukeNija:
I’m

You think Nigeria revolves around Lagos right? Bold of you to assume the man is based in Lagos.

English is your problem Mr man.

I said IF it was in Lagos...

Go back to school and learn the use of conditional clauses.

kneehighbootz:



Why not stop talking? Your posts reeks of stupidity and it's headache inducing

You can't stop me from my "stupid" posts, so why waste your time?

You don't pay for my data and you'll see many of such stupid posts. I'm just getting started.

Simeonjoe1:


Thank I no know why Romanoff no dey use sense for this one. Maybe she's clouded with emotions. Before the woman married op even though she's separated from the ex who is paying the bills. I can bet that the man has been sending money to her to cater for their needs, now she's married why will the man be sending money for another man to raise his own children. Since she don't want to take the children to their father that means she and her new husband are up to the task of taking care of them.

If you can, go through all of my comments. The man doesn't need to send money to the woman or her husband. He can pay the bills himself.

Bills like school fees, health care can be paid for by himself so the woman and her husband can take care of others.

The both love the kids and the kids belong to both of them.

So why deprive the kids of care?

Romanoff:


You can't stop me from my "stupid" posts, so why waste your time?

You don't pay for my data and you'll see many of such stupid posts. I'm just getting started.

By all means, carry on. Your data, your stupidity

kneehighbootz:


By all means, carry on. Your data, your stupidity

Exactamente.

I'll be awaiting your stupid replies as well.

Adios.

Men should learn to sit parents of bride to witness a written agreement before marriage that the child the bride does not bring to the husband's house cannot be taken away for any reason whatsoever.and men should orice market very well before buying,if ur bride cannot take other men's kids to their father ,please leave her alone.

Andrew87:
I got married to my wife. I love her both with the kids but the biological father of the kids is a bit wealthy and left the whole responsibilities to my wife since last year.

This is not funny because I am part of her although we hustle hard but it's not easy. He insists the kids must be with him if he must take care of them but a member of his family informed my wife that he plans to take them away and she will not see them.

Please friends what's ur take on this? Times are really hard.

uncle mugu, keep playing the hero to a ..... Your reward is in heaven by the time suffer kill you on top another man child u go get brain

Romanoff:


The mother is always the primary care giver, unless it's proven otherwise that she incapable. And that's when primary care giving is passed on to the father.

I asked again, is primary care giving gender based?

Bola146:
I guess the lady is rich that is why you didn't reasoned well how to take care of the two kids before getting married to their mother

You need to be ready to take full responsibilities of the kids. She can't ignore them, since their father is not responsible, act like their father, carry your cross biko

She was rich when she dey with Baba olowo , now reality don set in

Kingcalls:


Don't ever take an advice from a woman when it comes to relationship issues cos u will be ruined

Can we be friends because you get sense well ... Taking afvice from most of these women is like digging your own grave

Romanoff:


If you can, go through all of my comments. The man doesn't need to send money to the woman or her husband. He can pay the bills himself.

Bills like school fees, health care can be paid for by himself so the woman and her husband can take care of others.

The both love the kids and the kids belong to both of them.

So why deprive the kids of care?

What's wrong with releasing the kids to their father since he's more capable of taking care of them

Single mum is not a single problem. Get that.

Romanoff:


If you can, go through all of my comments. The man doesn't need to send money to the woman or her husband. He can pay the bills himself.

Bills like school fees, health care can be paid for by himself so the woman and her husband can take care of others.

The both love the kids and the kids belong to both of them.

So why deprive the kids of care?

You post suggested both loved the kids, that's good observation.

Do you now think the man should be at the mercy of the ex wife and her new find love ? Don't forget the post said the man is financially able and it also shows he cared about those children.

It seems the man patiently waiting for the ex wife to see how far she can carry on with the financial obligations that comes with the children up keeping.

Now she's getting down and the new find love can not meet up as expected with those finances. So, you expect a man with his brain fully functioning to succumbed to their request.

I said it in my previous comment that; you should forget that.

Two options here.

The man is not willing and not ready to be funding the children outside his custody.

1. Either they keep struggling to provide for those children and let the man be.

2. To relief themselves, they should let the man have the possession of those children.

Simple as ABC.

Like I also said earlier, if the man is not showing any concerns before, not caring at all or not responsible; it's a different case.

CHoccolaTE:
This is why marriage doesn't favor women.

Imagine sacrificing her career and ability to make real money so that you can focus on raising children that bear another man's name, then after divorce you are back to square one. The evil ex-husband refuses to take care of his children then their mother who is too old to get any meaningful job starts running helter skelter to take care of them.

Men are so evil.

Lol
Carry your frustration to God o

INTEGRITYA1:


You post suggested both loved the kids, that's good observation.

Do you now think the man should be at the mercy of the ex wife and her new find love ? Don't forget the post said the man is financially able and it also shows he cared about those children.

It seems the man patiently waiting for the ex wife to see how far she can carry on with the financial obligations that comes with the children up keeping.

Now she's getting down and the new find love can not meet up as expected with those finances. So, you expect a man with his brain fully functioning to succumbed to their request.

I said it in my previous comment that; you should forget that.

Two options here.

The man is not willing and not ready to be funding the children outside his custody.

1. Either they keep struggling to provide for those children and let the man be.

2. To relief themselves, they should let the man have the possession of those children.

Simple as ABC.

Like I also said earlier, if the man is not showing any concerns before, not caring at all or not responsible; it's a different case.

I also provided option one on my first post.

INTEGRITYA1:


You post suggested both loved the kids, that's good observation.

Do you now think the man should be at the mercy of the ex wife and her new find love ? Don't forget the post said the man is financially able and it also shows he cared about those children.

It seems the man patiently waiting for the ex wife to see how far she can carry on with the financial obligations that comes with the children up keeping.

Now she's getting down and the new find love can not meet up as expected with those finances. So, you expect a man with his brain fully functioning to succumbed to their request.

I said it in my previous comment that; you should forget that.

Two options here.

The man is not willing and not ready to be funding the children outside his custody.

1. Either they keep struggling to provide for those children and let the man be.

2. To relief themselves, they should let the man have the possession of those children.

Simple as ABC.

Like I also said earlier, if the man is not showing any concerns before, not caring at all or not responsible; it's a different case.

@bold
How is the man at their mercy?

AyeMoJuba:


I'll delay the implementation till thy kingdom come

It is often difficult to enforce but by the time it starts getting to court matter many Nigerian families that have shame will try and persuade the man to change.
If not it will be on record permanently for the kids to see when they grow

Romanoff:


I also provided option one on my first post.

But the option the man chose was that

"The Children have to be within his custody"

Meanwhile, in one of your post you've said if the said ex husband happened to be your blood brother, you will prefer the children are in his custody.

So, what are they contesting?

I ga abukwa ogbenye bulukwa Amusu?
So you want another man to be sending you money to feed his kids and their mother who took from him... You dey ment

The best thing for you to do is to create create between the man and your wife. And allow the man to have access to his children. If he wants to them let him take them, if he has a good rapour with your wife, he will give her access to them.

INTEGRITYA1:


But the option the man chose was that

"The Children have to be within his custody"

Meanwhile, in one of your post you've said if the said ex husband happened to be your blood brother, you will prefer the children are in his custody.

So, what are they contesting?

No. I didn't say that. I said I'd prefer that my brother had shared custody/ co-parenting and not neglect his kids by withdrawing support.

Hear yourself out. So why the complaint. You have seen it coming b4 conclusion. If you dey knack with your gboooola na who u dey tell. Enjoy the true troubles while it last nigga.

johhnnie:


You may be right.

However, sometimes, once kids are involved, there are sacrifices to be made.

The case is no more about the couple at loggerheads. But more about the kids that are products of the union.

My philosophy has always been that, whatever social strata your ex spouse belongs to will always affect the upbringing of your children.

Even though, we don't live together, I still want the best for them.

Whatever the story that is told to them, once they are of age, I believe they will be matured enough to put things in the right perspectives.

The story is better told and understood by people with first hand experiences.

Personally, I think the court wedding is over rated.

I will sincerely advise young folks never to sign that document.

You can do traditional wedding. And, if there is true love, I see no reason for court wedding ( I.M.O).

See, I went through Hell.

I will not like to make public the details.

Anyone who needs counseling can send me an e.mail.

It's high time men were there for men.

Let there be a movement whereby men ( real/responsible men) will stand up for men and not against men ( I mean men who were/are truly abused and violated).

I suspect my 3rd child is not mine. But for peace of the mind, I have decided out of my own free will to be responsible for all of them.

I still have my life before me. We might have gone our separate ways. However, the kids were not asked to be borne. As such, as much as possible we must take up those responsibilities as real men as much as we can and as long as we have the means.

I do not condone domestic violence and abuse against women but the stories must always be set straight.

I have seen the following happen:

1. A woman took her wedding invitation to her ex boyfriend. They ended up having s3x.

2. A woman on her wedding night had s3x with her bestie colleague at work in thesame hotel she booked for the wedding.

3. A housewife paid for a hotel where she had romps with her lover.

4. A married woman while in a hotel for s3x romps with her lover picked her husband's call and spoke calmly as if nothing was amiss

5. Etc and etc, etc, etc

6. Don't get me wrong, there are good marriages out there. And, God bless those couples.

7. If it's not working, it is not working......

Hi, I just sent you a pm. Please can you educate us a bit why court marriage isn't beneficial to men, and also how did your ex wife just decide to do what she did even with your love. Are you now officially divorced?