I Find her interesting, then I'll need to hold on to the shaky faith in me to ask her out despite my fear of rejection, wondering if she will ever accept, and how I'll live with myself if she refuses. If she finds me interesting, then she would just give me green light, and pass the burden of chasing to me. If I didn't chase, she can safely conclude that I'm gay, that I'm not interested in her, or not man enough. Whichever case, the burden of performance rest solely on me, a position I can not negotiate myself away from.

So I finally summon the courage to ask her out, and she accept to go out on a date with me. Hallelujah. But a new chapter begin, I'll have to impress her. It's implied. Even if she finds me interesting, she knows she reserves the privilege to choose, why I reserves the liability to pursue. I'll have to be a gentleman to pay for the date, and probably pay for her uber if she is the broke type. The closest time I felt like this was during a job interview. The employer holds the power to choose. Let's not deceive ourself jare. She holds the power here, and even me the man's knows that. Only God knows the calibre of men in her contact list that she is ready to replace me with if I fork up. So I better be at my best behaviour.

Ok fast forward to the real deal. so she agreed, and we started dating. Now it's time to fork. I enter bed gallantly like John Cena, assured of my bedmatic skills to knack anything. But the problem is that even at my best, I may not measure up, because only God knows the gallant warriors that has gone through that route and set the bar so high, that she feel disappointed after the act. See me feeling like a superstar that I was able to reach three rounds, meanwhile, previous men de knack overnight non stop. Night vigil on top her body, for real. Again, the burden of performance rest solely on me. Just because I'm a man. Doesn't matter if other men don spoil show before me. Doesn't matter if na her fault for sampling multitudes of deeks, I just have to deliver satisfactorily.

Fast forward another day, on midnight. We are sleeping jejely. Then we heard a big knock, with a loud voice screaming, "open the door". She looks at me, shivering with her eyes saying, "baby, are we safe"? Of course implying that I should go check who is knocking on the door. It's not a duty to negotiate, it's my job as the man. And if anyone will be given the introductory slap, it definitely has to be me. Even if she a feminist, at that point, equality doesn't matter anymore. Gender role reactivated. She is a woman and I am the man. How about the two of us go see who is at the door? Two head is better than one? Well not in this case. The burden of performance rest solely on me.

If this is what is means to be the head, please, let's change role abeg. I'll gladly choose to be the neck, the liver, or even the oesophagus. All this responsibility and even multiple orgasm to compensate, I no see. Just a few sperm burst like tube toothpaste and I'm done. The one that pains me the most is that even in my innocence, just because the other party is a woman, then by default, the burden of proving myself innocent rest on me. She may give me a dirty hot slap in the street, and people will wonder what i did to deserve such slaps. Meanwhile if I do, all I'll hear is "do you want to kill her"? "Don't you know she is a woman? Real men don't beat women etc. If I was unlucky that it happened in a bad neighbourhood, I may be beaten public style, by boys who are quick to use my predicament as an opportunity to virtue signal.

Oya time to marry, I am ready, she is ready, but we are both broke. Although somehow, the burdens of brideprice, wedding expenses, proposing, buying ring, going to visit her family, arranging the house she will move in after marriage, and even more, falls on the man. Lots of men are unmarried nor because they are not ready but because they can't financially perform. Meanwhile, lots of women are unmarried not because they are not ready, but because they haven't met guys who will perform. My personal circumstances of being broke even if the economy is equally nacking us is unacceptable, but all I hear is, "bro just perform".

And this is one of the aspect I detest about maleness. That in relation with a woman, i bear almost, if not all the liability because I'm perceived as strong, and also that the burden of performance rest on me. Baba God, why?

Such a fine writeup.

This your write up just stirred me up into an endless laughter....

Chaiiii.....like seriously,op you aren't far from the truth cha..... Considering how many responsibilities that a man must have to place on his shoulder just to prove to his banny that he's definitely man enough to be called a man,I think it's high time I started considering on how to switch to the other gender in my next life

Or if at all,just like the op said,why can't feminism be applied in all way round...Must I as the man be the one to take the bullet all the time simply because I'm the man? . No na........it's unfair..

Well written

Op don finally turn poet. Nice piece though.

Its not easy to be a man as well as a woman. No gender got it easy bro

Sonnobax15:

This your write up just stirred me up into an endless laughter....

Chaiiii.....like seriously,op you aren't far from the truth cha..... Considering how many responsibilities that a man must have to place on his shoulder just to prove to his banny that he's definitely man enough to be called a man,I think it's high time I started considering on how to switch to the other gender in my next life

Or if at all,just like the op said,why can't feminism be applied in all wa round...Must I as the man be the one to take the bullet simply because I'm the man? . No na........it's unfair..

Think about am. Why most gender transition na from man to woman, not woman to man? Any female version of bobrisky for naija ni?

If women life is that hard, we should seeing an unprecedented amount of women transitioning to men, but somehow, the reverse is the case. Men carry responsibility, is too hard. Men life na suffer full am. It is well.

AutoChick4U:
Op don finally turn poet. Nice piece though.

Its not easy to be a man as well as a woman. No gender got it easy bro

But even in comparison,na woman life easy pass abeg..

Sometimes I wonder what feminist think

This is one of the reasons I'm not too keen on marriage.

The struggle to uplift my financial state and that of my family is more than enough.

I'm not in this life to go from one struggle to another.

I jump and pass.

So, OP admist your writeup, please explain to me like I'm five years old why I should get married?

I read to the end!
Nice write-up!

Gerrard59:
So, OP admist your writeup, please explain to me like I'm five years old why I should get married?

Because as you grow older in life, then family becomes more important to you than work, same way mummy and daddy are important to you than kindergarten. Then you'll realise that all your work was actually to have a good life with your loved ones, not to sacrifice your love ones for work.

Raalsalghul:
This is one of the reasons I'm not too keen on marriage.

The struggle to uplift my financial state and that of my family is more than enough.

I'm not in this life to go from one struggle to another.

I jump and pass.

Find a woman that worth it, thats the catch. If you find her, you'll prosper, if you find the wrong one, you'll suffer. Its a two edged sword. The right one won't give you this burden or/and bless your life in such a way that makes it worth it.

Emperormartin:
Sometimes I wonder what feminist think

Feminist are dumb. Very stoopid set of people. There were no feminist when the world hasn't transitioned into digital age of content creation, but suddenly society became so good that you can make money just by posting ass pics online, then they came with their equality rubbish.

If the promise of equality feminist promised men was true, this burden of performance every man carry won't exist. It would be shared equally. But all the feminist I know personally still want a man that earns more than them and to perform.

pansophist:

I'll gladly choose to be the neck, the liver, or even the oesophagus.

This part really cracked me up!

Very very nice write up. The world from a man's eyes. Unfortunately, men die earlier than women and I think this is the main reason why. The heavy burden they carry on their shoulders

There's something I want to point out though. To you, being a man is tough, it's challenging, but don't think that being a woman is easy. Women have their challenges too

Child birth, bringing up children (women tend to do a lot more of it than men), household chores -- cooking, cleaning, washing, and so on. And sometimes all this while working full time

Women would tell you that it's easier to be a man just like you think that it's easier to be a woman, but the truth is both genders have their ups and downs

I wish we could live in a world where both genders were more understanding and appreciative of each other. This requires a lot of vulnerability, but unfortunately, many men don't want to show vulnerability and many women confuse vulnerability with weakness. And since men can't handle their own vulnerability, they don't know how to handle women's vulnerability

Sonnobax15:
But even in comparison,na woman life easy pass abeg..

Have u experienced childbirth? Haaa

pansophist:


Find a woman that worth it, thats the catch. If you find her, you'll prosper, if you find the wrong one, you'll suffer. Its a two edged sword. The right one won't give you this burden or/and bless your life in such a way that makes it worth it.

I find it hard to believe anyone's success is dependent on their partners.

AutoChick4U:
Have u experienced childbirth? Haaa

We all know that's the only tangible reason you females have got..

Wonderful piece. A depiction of what the life of an average man entails.

Raalsalghul:


I find it hard to believe anyone's success is dependent on their partners.

Prosper in the context of allying yourself with a competent partner that makes the paddle easier. To go fast, go alone. But to go far, go with someone. Yes you can be successful without a partner, but success is contextual. And if money is the only thing someone have, in my book, they are poor.

pansophist:
I . Baba God, why?

Sir Pansophist, one of the finest mind on nairaland. My mentor
Nice write up as always

Seun
lalasticlala

Help us push this piece to the front page.

Lmao this generation of men never cease to amaze me, they are becoming lesser men day by day, what a thread of lamentation, Op it will be better to ask God to make you a woman or an object, instead of the "why", after all, God was jejely on his own when you men proscribed yourselves as the masculine, ego dripping, logical, stronger gender e.t.c.

Better yet, you can transgender to a "she" or "they" . Funny thing is, most men in the medical field(the beautiful irony of it all ) made that possible for those who hate their gender

Lawdy lawdy, nl is truly a comic relief

Now, there's a dynamic to this:

According to Rollo Tomassi, the greatest Redpiller is the one who gives zero f**ks about anyone. A selfish man. One whose pleasure comes first before any other thing.
Corey Worthington is Rollo's ideal Alpha. Ruthless, selfish, brazen in his actions.
Now, women get drawn to these kind of men.

pansophist:


Feminist are dumb. Very stoopid set of people. There were no feminist when the world hasn't transitioned into digital age of content creation, but suddenly society became so good that you can make money just by posting ass pics online, then they came with their equality rubbish.

If the promise of equality feminist promised men was true, this burden of performance every man carry won't exist. It would be shared equally. But all the feminist I know personally still want a man that earns more than them and to perform.

And all the problem of men(strictly the nl version ) on the face of the earth, is the fault of feminists, Op should have started with a feminist disclaimer so we'd know where his head at

If feminists all over the world dont suppress themselves and their idealogies one day, y'all would eat yourselves to ease your never ending pain, literally

Sonnobax15:
We all know that's the only tangible reason you females have got..

40% of child births in Brazil are done through surgery, there is high phobia for natural births there..


Actually, the female gender have been suppressed for long throughout history, it is a pity we guys live in an era where female shackles have been let loose and we now see the true nature of how women behave with unlimited freedom.

There is a cliche I strongly detest, that women of old are far better than nowadays, women have always been the same but exposure from different era differs, a bad woman that lived in 1950s will still be a bad woman if she is to live her youth nowadays, the only difference would be what a particular era consider as good or bad.
The problem is our value system is at an all time low, and people ( both male and female) are being carried away by the tide.

when we were young, a young woman on trousers will generate stares and jeers but now it is normal, a non virgin bride was very rare then but we have accepted it as our way of life now.

so I don't really blame the ladies, they are just playing out their roles in a script of a society that is hit by a pandemic of moral decadence.

That kind grandma of yours , that is upright and kind was a product of a good moral era, she might not be like that if she was to relive her youth nowadays.

pansophist:


Feminist are dumb. Very stoopid set of people. There were no feminist when the world hasn't transitioned into digital age of content creation, but suddenly society became so good that you can make money just by posting ass pics online, then they came with their equality rubbish.

If the promise of equality feminist promised men was true, this burden of performance every man carry won't exist. It would be shared equally. But all the feminist I know personally still want a man that earns more than them and to perform.

You've said it all

Nice piece but seems a selfish writeup, I'm sure you are ignorant of what it means to be a woman.A counter thread would be nice but too busy to do that.

pansophist:
I Find her interesting, then I'll need to hold on to the shaky faith in me to ask her out despite my fear of rejection, wondering if she will ever accept, and how I'll live with myself if she refuses. If she finds me interesting, then she would just give me green light, and pass the burden of chasing to me. If I didn't chase, she can safely conclude that I'm gay, that I'm not interested in her, or not man enough. Whichever case, the burden of performance rest solely on me, a position I can not negotiate myself away from.

So I finally summon the courage to ask her out, and she accept to go out on a date with me. Hallelujah. But a new chapter begin, I'll have to impress her. It's implied. Even if she finds me interesting, she knows she reserves the privilege to choose, why I reserves the liability to pursue. I'll have to be a gentleman to pay for the date, and probably pay for her uber if she is the broke type. The closest time I felt like this was during a job interview. The employer holds the power to choose. Let's not deceive ourself jare. She holds the power here, and even me the man's knows that. Only God knows the calibre of men in her contact list that she is ready to replace me with if I fork up. So I better be at my best behaviour.

Ok fast forward to the real deal. so she agreed, and we started dating. Now it's time to fork. I enter bed gallantly like John Cena, assured of my bedmatic skills to knack anything. But the problem is that even at my best, I may not measure up, because only God knows the gallant warriors that has gone through that route and set the bar so high, that she feel disappointed after the act. See me feeling like a superstar that I was able to reach three rounds, meanwhile, previous men de knack overnight non stop. Night vigil on top her body, for real. Again, the burden of performance rest solely on me. Just because I'm a man. Doesn't matter if other men don spoil show before me. Doesn't matter if na her fault for sampling multitudes of deeks, I just have to deliver satisfactorily.

Fast forward another day, on midnight. We are sleeping jejely. Then we heard a big knock, with a loud voice screaming, "open the door". She looks at me, shivering with her eyes saying, "baby, are we safe"? Of course implying that I should go check who is knocking on the door. It's not a duty to negotiate, it's my job as the man. And if anyone will be given the introductory slap, it definitely has to be me. Even if she a feminist, at that point, equality doesn't matter anymore. Gender role reactivated. She is a woman and I am the man. How about the two of us go see who is at the door? Two head is better than one? Well not in this case. The burden of performance rest solely on me.

If this is what is means to be the head, please, let's change role abeg. I'll gladly choose to be the neck, the liver, or even the oesophagus. All this responsibility and even multiple orgasm to compensate, I no see. Just a few sperm burst like tube toothpaste and I'm done. The one that pains me the most is that even in my innocence, just because the other party is a woman, then by default, the burden of proving myself innocent rest on me. She may give me a dirty hot slap in the street, and people will wonder what i did to deserve such slaps. Meanwhile if I do, all I'll hear is "do you want to kill her"? "Don't you know she is a woman? Real men don't beat women etc. If I was unlucky that it happened in a bad neighbourhood, I may be beaten public style, by boys who are quick to use my predicament as an opportunity to virtue signal.

Oya time to marry, I am ready, she is ready, but we are both broke. Although somehow, the burdens of brideprice, wedding expenses, proposing, buying ring, going to visit her family, arranging the house she will move in after marriage, and even more, falls on the man. Lots of men are unmarried nor because they are not ready but because they can't financially perform. Meanwhile, lots of women are unmarried not because they are not ready, but because they haven't met guys who will perform. My personal circumstances of being broke even if the economy is equally nacking us is unacceptable, but all I hear is, "bro just perform".

And this is one of the aspect I detest about maleness. That in relation with a woman, i bear almost, if not all the liability because I'm perceived as strong, and also that the burden of performance rest on me. Baba God, why?

i didn't check who wrote this piece when i was reading, after have gone like 3 paragraph, i told myself "this na pansophist post, na only him fit think like this," wehen i checked,it was true.
God bless u bro

Well done Pansophist for such a wonderful write-up.

In addendum:

1. The burden of performance always falls on the shoulders of men because they were structured for it by evolution or biology or nature or natural selection. I was reading the abstract of a psychology article yesterday which stated that men developed longer arms not really for hunting per say but for violence/war and this is not far from the truth.

2. The burden of performance is like a coin with a head and tail. The tail is the real burden of performance and the head is power and control. Analysis on only the tail end will blind the eyes of men in seeing the other side of the coin. OK, lets not consider this from a man and woman angle, but from a child(ren) and parent(s) perspective. The one that has the highest burden of performance controls the administration of the relationship, just like the government of any nation. Parents and the government invests more, ergo, they are the judges and arbiters at home and nation respectively.

3. It is said that the one(A) who needs the other(B) the least has the knob of the relationship. This can only be possible if A can live independently but choose to parasitize on B and B fails to see that he can also live independently with or without A. What can a child do without her parents or the masses without their government?

4. Power and control which is the ultimate leverage over people and resources is the reward for men's burden of performance. Women can never attain that position no matter how much they wail and inveigh day and night even till eternity because they can't risk the pain, blood and sweat that comes with it. Even if they try, they will get consumed when they are done. Hell doesn't or hardly refines women unlike men. Hence, female power wherever it exist is transient because they didn't go to or pass through hell, or withdrew because of the heat.

5. The problem these days is that Men are not granted their power despite their performance, hence, they tend to exhibit aversion towards marriage, long term relationship, societal upbringing, development of one's community. Men are being played and their eyes are opening to this fact. In our hunters gatherers past, men were rewarded for their performance with positions, lands, women, meats etc. These are what motivates men to work.

6. The state has deprived men of these things by siding with women while still expecting men to perform. Things doesn't work that way at all. Only the collective efforts of men (and women) can sustain civilization.

If everything in the book is not reviewed to favour men with appropriate rewards and women still enjoying their privileges, Men will continually retract themselves from what will benefit their community and society at large.

However, it will first start with an antipathy towards long term sexual relationship or relationship as a whole.

Thanks.

God bless.

Your posts are always in-line with reality. You're one of the few I respect on this forum.

Jeremani:

i didn't check who wrote this piece when i was reading, after have gone like 3 paragraph, i told myself "this na pansophist post, na only him fit think like this," wehen i checked,it was true.
God bless u bro

Haha, my idiolect don turn signature. Person need read small, e go sabi say na me de yarn.