The only thing I will say is this:

Make the children are in safe hands and you should also take good care of them and your selves.

Do not allow them to suffer too much of the impact of the separation.

Make sure you play your role in their lives.

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

neonly:



Funny enough u just made me laugh since morning u deserve a bottle of heniken

Na hero she dey drink oo,na kwaret isoko babe

Kobojunkie:
Have you considered sending your kids away to your parents or hers so you two can talk adult to adult about things?

Her objection to the hiring of a maid, her church schedule...something is hidden that needs to be revealed..

We are both ophan no parent but brothers and sisters but I can't send my children to go and stay at anybody place God forbid no when am alive they must stay with me

Op na weakling
How many times you don fight and confront her for her bad behaviours, I believe you've never done that all in the name of saving your home, if anyone has to do that then it has to be your wife.
You think marriage na easy thing, even our fathers dey face shit test from their wife's everyday left and right

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

Are you married?

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

Imagine you guys gets married

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

n u wan still marry that one? nah liability b dat bros

poiZon:

The issue with the guy isnt about doing the chores, but u r doing something that ur wife should do, but she is working yet u don't see where her money is going.
That is one red flag.
A woman that loves a man and accept a man must be SUBMISSIVE to him, let him know what u earn and all that. Why being secretive in ur finance, u don't contribute a dime in the project.
Marriage is a project that involves 2people and once the kids enters, they too join in making the project work.
I can't marry a lady that will hide her financial details from, not that i will ask u for ur money.

1. In marriage, there is no such as something your wife should do. Ask people who are honest and they will tell you the truth.

2. He hasn't said anything about whether she brings money or not for sure.

3. Submission in marriage is s choice not a given since we all do not subscribe to the same cultural or religious ideas

When you have been in a marriage for many years, you no longer meant to look for reasons, red flags, to help you end it, but instead for ways to help you grow, hopefully your marriage along with you.

neonly:



This is someone dat work and her pay is for her alone honestly I don't even know much she earn as salary
If u are lucky to marry a good person just thank Jehovah
Too much pressure to guild her and let her see reason will be consider sexual violent so am very careful it has easy has u think bro's am just heart broken right now if I can have my way Na to just relocate go another country

Baba their is nothing to thank Jah for a good wife. What u really need right now is to take a break.
See u can't be depressed and unhappy while your so called wife is happy and enjoying her life.
U have to consider separation for your happiness and peace of mind
If divorcing her will give you peace of mind pls do without looking back

neonly:
We are both ophan no parent but brothers and sisters but I can't send my children to go and stay at anybody place God forbid no when am alive they must stay with me

Oh, I didn't know that.

Has your wife always been the churchy kind? What demon is she supposedly working so hard at ridding herself of with her church schedule?
It just seemed weird to me that she is not tired of the marriage, doesn't want to entertain a house help and also keeps what I consider a weird church schedule - note that I am not a churchian myself.
Is there something from her past that could be the reason? Have you tried inquiring about why she keeps such church schedules? Just out of curiosity?

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

So why are you still with such a useless and materialistic thing? Na mere Hungry girlfriend she be, Pursue her make you find a better geh. Good babes full everywhere bro

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Op you don take your money buy wrong market oooo

flavnwokem:
So what's the marriage again if the man will be turned to a domestic partner ? And you defined it as ego . A man married a woman as a helper not the other way round . If your husband cooks for you ,go to market for you ,takes care of the children and on all these still cater for the family ,you are not in marriage . A girl child is trained and groomed for domestic chores right from onset in view of marriage in future, is not the work of the man, and where a man comes in is to help the wife once in awhile or if she is not in position to do so and not a total responsibility of a man. Marriage is dead when you turned your husband to the wife .

Here's what a marriage like that looks like..

ibechris:

Oga,take it easy life isn't as we all planned but we shall keep on planning. My wife has been a banker for the past 11years, and I have supported her until she became a management staff.
Both of us have found ways to manage our home,employing a nanny,I stay off work to be with my children for two days in a week,I take my time to ensure I pick and drop my wife at her work place since 2015 till date.

However,and my children have never been left behind in all this. I make sure their school bus comes to pick and drop them daily and during their holidays,there is a school teacher to take care of their learnings.
In fact,because I used to have time compare to my wife,I have been the one going to markets to buy food stuffs and my wife does the cooking that would last us for 3months. This we have been doing to run the family of five without being tired for the 5years.

So,why should u divorce your wife when u can supports her to grow in her endeavours? Plan ur family,that is ur priority as a man and divorce will cripple ur household and create a huge void that no other strange woman will be able to fill.

Good luck to u.

Some women are just not controllable.

Such women allow you to fool yourself. What they want to do is in the mind, irrespective of who intervene cir what the husband does to ease the situation.

Albertone:


I had to re-read to know If OP is the wife or husband.
Omooo OP na the husband oo.

If she is not the breadwinner of the house and she is doing this,you have not been the man of the house.Being a man is not just by having dick o.It is by being able to control the home.

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that..

it hurts so much.

Amhappy:


You have spoken to everybody including we nairaland strangers but you are yet to speak with your wife that is giving you the wahala. Pride is what is killing your home. This I've seen with my third eye because you didn't tell your story well.

But bro's it good we men are speaking out now unlike before nah

neonly:





But bro's it good we men are speaking out now unlike before nah

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Marriage is never an easy journey and will never be. FOR A FRUITFUL AND LASTING UNION, IT WILL TAKE A BLIND WOMAN AND A DUMB MAN TO COHABIT. See less and talk lesser. It has no formula but patience and God's grace. Advice alone can't perform any magic.

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

Please be calming down now.

jimmyolasun:



I am not married and never been, I shaaa just wan help you reason I edited your post for easy comprehension.

What do you and never been

siofra:
Na mumu dey marry.

Will you shut

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Sorry o Op. But U be heavy Otele. U be yansh. Pussy. E be like make I break your head as I de read dis thing. Well Sha, u atlast are in order. Run for your life o.

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

unending pit how?

neonly:



This is someone dat work and her pay is for her alone honestly I don't even know much she earn as salary
If u are lucky to marry a good person just thank Jehovah
Too much pressure to guild her and let her see reason will be consider sexual violent so am very careful it has easy has u think bro's am just heart broken right now if I can have my way Na to just relocate go another country

Op sorry but is all your fault, marriage is a union of two people (matured) in agreement on how to leave together, and do things together without leaving the whole load for one person to carry. I said is your fault because it seems you did not discuss family welfare with your wife from the beginning of the union, from what I read, she does nothing in the house, and she does not support you financially and you don't even know how much she earn is a big mistake from you. Op let your wife know that you are the man, infact share the responsibility with her so that her head will come down, she have saved much that's why her head is so BIG and do a research on whom her friends are and how much she earns so that you will know the kind of financial responsibility you will give her.
Finally, DIVORCE is will have a negative effect on your children but DIVORCE will be the best option instead of you to DIE before your TIME.

cassyrooy:
Please be calming down now.

I'm calming down Cassy.

neonly:



Let me still weigh my option

For the sake of your sanity, happiness and peace of mind either divorce her or u marry another one so that she can sit her ass up

neonly:
Am not good writer please trying to make it short

Everything just falling apart in my house
Sometimes I hear some folks saying I will tolerate rubbish in marriage but honestly it easier say than done if it actually happen to you
Where did I get it wrong sef
We use to be good friends before church matter enter
Now she does nothing in the house
I go to work come back to go to market and cook clean the house wash the children uniforms for the younger ones

All she is interested now is her own career
What my fate when I grow old
Is this not a red flag for me
What will be the fate of my wonderful innocent children how will they feel not growing up with their mother and father together all these are pounding in my head
the issues are too much I can't type it all am really depressed but sha life goes on
But my children what will be their fate

Your have gone a long way in your marriage and in your family to start thinking of divorce. It's not easy to bear what you're going through right now in your marriage but just take it as one of the cross a man must carry so as to make something out of this life. You're even lucky she didn't turn your own children against you. I will chip in these few things if you can do it:
1. For one more time, call her and tell her that you want to apologise deeply to her for whatever you have done wrong to her knowingly or unknowingly. Tell her she should forgive you. (Swallow your pride, ur anger, whatever and do this).
2. After the apology, please focus 100% on your children and your job. Take care of your children and the house as if you're a widower. Show your children love as if their mother is no more.
3. Make sure you always pray and play together with your children, be their friend.
Do these and forget her. Soon! I mean Soon!!! her eyes go clear and by then, e don dey late for her.

Kobojunkie:
Oh, I didn't know that.

Has your wife always been the churchy kind? What demon is she supposedly working so hard at ridding herself of with her church schedule?
It just seemed weird to me that she is not tired of the marriage, doesn't want to entertain a house help and also keeps what I consider a weird church schedule - note that I am not a churchian myself.
Is there something from her past that could be the reason? Have you tried inquiring about why she keeps such church schedules? Just out of curiosity?

That question is bottomless
When I was young I was a Catholic(alterboy)
Later Trem
Meet her join CAC
Later join foursquare dat where wahala starts
Out of anger I wanted to go to d church because me I don't go to church anymore personal reason
I wanted to ask d pastor what they preach but later I just let it go

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

i swear me I just want to marry just to fulfill all righteousness...

neonly:

This is someone dat work and her pay is for her alone honestly I don't even know much she earn as salary
If u are lucky to marry a good person just thank Jehovah
Too much pressure to guild her and let her see reason will be consider sexual violent so am very careful it has easy has u think bro's am just heart broken right now if I can have my way Na to just relocate go another country

I didn't even see this. So she also refuses to use her income for her family's needs?

Prettychild:

Lol! Your wife is calm, if you jam babe wey tear, na the two of you go dey cheat at the same time, nothing go happen

I don't have issues with my WIFE cheating at all but if she must do it, that has to be from her Father's compound & not mine, since I'm the one who brought her into my coffers.

I can't divorce my MOM.
I can't divorce my DAD
I can't divorce my SISTERS. However,
...the word Divorce is reserved for only WIVES.