Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

please which series is that

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

kapelvej:
please which series is that

She's talking about the creepy couple, Joe Goldberg and Love Quinn on You series

Dalil8:




She's talking about the creepy couple, Joe Goldberg and Love Quinn on You series

thanks

Just marry a kind person and one that respects you and people generally . It 'll save you alot of stress as only a devil wouldn't love such a person .

/
Only people who watch too much TV go into marriage just for love.

After about 2 years, eyes go clear.

/

optm:
Just marry a kind person and one that respects you and people generally . It 'll save you alot of stress as only a devil wouldn't love such a person .

And this because a "kind" person cannot turn devil tomorrow?

Hmmm

Klass99:
I agree with her and I love what she said about showing up the best you can. No contest, no debate on this matter.

When I see or hear people say that true love is unconditional or say different variations of it like, if you truly love me you will forget about the money (meaning the loan they took from you like Caryorday's ex ) I think to myself yeye and naivety is worrying this one.

One flaw thing about our generation is we don't look beyond " big grammar n sense " ... what about a reality test.
How realistic is it for anyone to be @ there best in all times, there are time you will even give your best buh it won't even be close to good.
We must acknowledge change is constant, as we age and gather experiences peoplw are bound to change, that thing you find in your partner might drop or fade afters some years in marriage ...unconditional is what keep the marriage sailing.
Not everything that makes sense is realistic

Kobojunkie:
Obviously not, since what Paul said even here is not exactly what Jesus Christ Himself said - John 15 vs 11-12

What did Paul said that is contradictory to the 'word' of God?

Kobojunkie:
And this because a "kind" person cannot turn devil tomorrow?

this hardly ever happens. It would take alot for someone who's kind naturally to become otherwise

Ayo081:
What did Paul said that is contradictory to the 'word' of God?

Compare Paul's alleged statement as claimed by the one I responded to Jesus Christ's statement in John 15 vs 12 and you will see how what Paul said I many ways diminishes the Truth as stated by Jesus Christ.

11 I have told you these things so that you can have the true happiness that I have. I want you to be completely happy. 12 This is what I command you: Love each other as I have loved you. - John 15 vs 11 - 12

That command there was not given only to husbands or married couples.... it was given to everyone of Jesus Christ's followers and so does not in anyway represent a special kind of love for just married individuals.

Iyaebe:
Best advice ever,it's best to study the flaws of a partner and see if you can cope with him/her than concentrating only on the good side.In marriage love should be secondary, marry who have sense and compatibility should be your top priority. Love will fade if you marry a stupid person and you'll begin to ask yourself if you were hypnotized.

Oga we are all stupid. Love makes people better.

reddingtonblack:

If you don't believe unconditional love exist then you might as well believe every partner in marriage are perfect, FIY imperfection begat unconditional love.
even tho the rate of divorce is rising like dollar, those still in marriage are definitely tolerating one another, that is an exhibition of unconditional.
you marry a naija slim gurl after two years in marriage she turns to baby whale, blame childbirth n most men just tolerate it that is unconditional.

Tolerance is needed when we don't like something. It has nothing to do with love.

bezimo:


The word of God is the standard not some nonsense series or episode ..husband love your wife as Christ love the church.
Which is an unconditional and sacrificial love

So you can also love your wife when she cheats? Or is faithfulness a condition?

Hathor5:


Interesting point.

But what does it mean to be in a marriage and a family then?

marriage entails , both parties identifying and playing their roles to the best of their capacity. in marriage you must understand you must alway creat room for the other party.
when it come family i.e we must do what will cover majority interest, do what favours you as long as it does not jeopardize other member interest.

InvertedHammer:
/
Only people who watch too much TV go into marriage just for love.

After about 2 years, eyes go clear.

/

not many people will like your opinions but e dey strike truth always

bukatyne:


If both parties love each other 'unconditionally', wouldn't they naturally work to bring out their best for the other party?

I guess so but people also work to bring out their best if they love conditionally because they know that love is conditional.

Why did you put unconditionally in '...' ?

reddingtonblack:


marriage entails , both parties identifying and playing their roles to the best of their capacity. in marriage you must understand you must alway creat room for the other party.
when it come family i.e we must do what will cover majority interest, do what favours you as long as it does not jeopardize other member interest.

How do you do it?

Kobojunkie:
Compare Paul's alleged statement as claimed by the one I responded to Jesus Christ's statement in John 15 vs 12 and you will see how what Paul said I many ways diminishes the Truth as stated by Jesus Christ.
That command there was not given only to husbands or married couples.... it was given to everyone of Jesus Christ's followers and so does not in anyway represent a special kind of love for just married individuals.

Oh I see

Recall, the 'word' in John 15 was directed to the disciples.

That makes no difference as we're all called to be disciples and friends of Christ right.

Don't you think I'll have to submit or you have to submit for the love to flow?

I mustn't lord it over you and you shouldn't it either.

And times will come when one of us must know when and who should submit for it to flow.

Won't you submit to Christ if you love him?

bukatyne:


According to the counselor, what is the difference between unconditional love and showing up the best you can?

I can't ask her. She hasn't explained.

For me the difference is clear. I can show up the best I can but I can still formulate conditions under which I will do that, e.g. faithfulness.

Longsleeve:


Unconditional love will cover everything if it's genuine..

If you love a stupid person unconditionally.. you won't see any stupidity again in him/her

Somehow, u are rice.

Can you define "love" in just a sentence?

Magnoliaa:
Is showing up the best we can and bringing out the best in our partners not a part of unconditional love? I believe it is a part of it, and one does not necessarily preclude the other.

Love is important. Yes, the feelings, tingly kind I believe. One that makes your heart race and feel good just thinking about them, I believe. No, that is not all there is to it.

But unconditional love has imbued in it the works, the efforts, the commitment and the blindness as well.

To the usefulness of such advice, I feel it paints a dreary picture of marriage that I don't want to look forward to. Sounds drudgery. Like I must do things for my partner, just because. Not cheerily. Are there likely going to be times I feel that way? Possibly. But haba, for the most of the time and my marriage life?

I don't want that kind of organic, fulfilling-a-duty or filling-in-a-space love, tenkio.

But true love don't lord it over the ones they love nah

Ayo081:


Oh I see

Recall, the 'word' in John 15 was directed to the disciples.

That makes no difference as we're all called to be disciples and friends of Christ right.

Don't you think I'll have to submit or you have to submit for the love to flow?

I mustn't lord it over you and you shouldn't it either.

And times will come when one of us must know when and who should submit for it to flow.

Won't you submit to Christ if you love him?

after4:
But true love don't lord it over the ones they love nah

Exactly what I said

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

Know this and know peace.
Otherwise heartbreak is sure in marriage.
For men, you can't get loyalty and honour from your wife if you don't secure her financially, securing her financially is only a function of her own expectation and need at any time T, as a woman you can't get to feel secure if you don't trust and believe in your man, and also help him to win in his little battles. These qualities from both parties aren't even at 50% in most homes. Forget love. True commitment, trust and believe is what grows a home, love comes after.

Hathor5:


How do you do it?

by playing considerations and simply tolerating little things , some changes are excusable yle some are not.
i think physical change is excusable maybe to some extent or not ...what is not excusable is personality change, cos if you aint faking i don't see why your personality should change.

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

There are two kinds of marriage. The God kind of marriage based on unconditional love, and the human kind of marriage based on what you can get out of each other. You choose the one you want.

Ayo081:
Oh I see
Recall, the 'word' in John 15 was directed to the disciples.
That makes no difference as we're all called to be disciples and friends of Christ right.
Don't you think I'll have to submit or you have to submit for the love to flow?
I mustn't lord it over you and you shouldn't it either.
And times will come when one of us must know when and who should submit for it to flow.
Won't you submit to Christ if you love him?

I don't follow!

Again, what I am saying is that what Paul said is not what Jesus Christ said. So, to suggest then that Paul's words are Jesus Christ's own Words is wrong.

Jesus Christ's commandment is given to all of His disciples (individuals, Eunuchs, husbands and wives included). However, Paul's extraction suggests a special case for husbands, where Jesus Christ never taught of such to begin with.

The same love Jesus Christ taught should exist between a disciple and another disciple is the exact same love that should exist between a husband/wife and spouse...He, Jesus Christ, made no such distinction as Paul attempts to make in his epistle.
Basically, Jesus Christ taught His disciples to submit to each other in Him, this regardless of marital status. Meaning the same way a disciple submits to another disciple is the same way a man is to submit to his wife and vice versa, this where Jesus Christ alone is Lord over each and everyone who belongs to Him - whether male or female.

SweetVibe:
I understand your point….BUT dont you think we should embrace reality?

Yeah, sure. The realists should go right ahead and embrace it. Count me out.

after4:
Can you define "love" in just a sentence?

Me? No. I don't have a definition for it, haven't seen the need to. But 1 Corinthians 13 is my go-to definition and guide. You can can check it out.

TemmyT002:
You read too much romance novels or watch too much movies.

Lol. Of course. And I create stories like that as well. Sooo it's not far-fetched for me to believe in stuffs like that. How would I sell them, buy your interest and love and influence your beliefs if I don't believe myself? If I don't believe the words I write? Or the circumstances I create in my stories? Or the emotions I evoke to create a magical and satisfying experience when you flip the last page and back cover shut? Belief beget belief.

Magnoliaa:


Yeah, sure. The realists should go right ahead and embrace it. Count me out.



Me? No. I don't have a definition for it, haven't seen the need to. But 1 Corinthians 13 is my go-to definition and guide. You can can check it out.



Lol. Of course. And I create stories like that as well. Sooo it's not far-fetched for me to believe in stuffs like that. How would I sell them, buy your interest and love and influence your beliefs if I don't believe myself? If I don't believe the words I write?

Don't worry. When you get married, the stories will change because by the you will truly understand.

TemmyT002:


Don't worry. When you get married, the stories will change because by the you will truly understand.

Okay. Thank youu.