₦airaland Forum

Ours is a people that the majority do see, accept and applaud opportunism as cleverness - anyone who wittingly or unwittingly is a proponent and/or practitioner of this school of thought has no moral right to cast aspersions on both mentioned and unmentioned practitioners of the nonsense act under discussion, and the two evil cuts across both genders.

Don't focus on what you went for,you hear?!!

Advocate for foreign women anatomy

Ekejoestar:
Nigerian ladies and their in-built/ follow come entitlement mentality is so sad that they lose good men just because of that.

Most Nigerian ladies will prefer an already made man who is comfortable and well do to while they themselves bring absolutely nothing to the table.

Material gains is their first priority when going into a relationship with a guy, thereby driving the foolish guys into fraud and all forms of vices just to impress them.

Yet if you marry them, they won't stay faithful in the marriage, with all our religiousity in this country we have the highest infidelity rate in the whole world.

In terms of infidelity.... pick SA over Nigeria

Jasmine17:
I want to briefly share my dating experiences with Nigerian ladies in the North American sphere. I have also asked several of my paddies and it seems like a norm amongst our Nigerian sisters.

Once you ask a Nigerian lady out in this space, 9 out of 10 times, the first question you are going to get from her is “when did you arrive here?” Once you are perceived as a newbie, you will automatically be blanked out. Hence most times, you will have to lie in other to continue the conversation.

Unfortunately, most guys who arrive single are normally serious at first, as they feel that one hurdle (relocating) has been solve and the next hurdle after getting a good paying job is of course to settle down with a Nigerian sister.

But this mentality of looking for old comers with the mindset that those are the only ones who are comfortable enough has robbed many of our sisters great opportunities, and continue to push black brothers into the arms of non-judgemental white ladies.

Another funny question you will get is “are you mobile?”
A “No” to this question will automatically earn you a blank.
A such ladies are so shallow minded not to think that there are several reasons why a serious minded guy will not want to buy a car yet in his first years living in the west.

Cars are very cheap unlike in Nigeria. A very good high value toks will cost you far less than what you pay in Nigeria. But there is the issue of insurance, parking space payment, parking tickets, traffic violation tickets, etc. Hence if you buy are car just of ownership sake, you are only getting another human to take care of. And when you compare the transit system and its reliability, you will find it is only sensible to own a car if it is being used to make more money.

Now, why would any right thinking person feel a guy with a car is the key to her happiness if it is not the olosho mentality? Then when they hit 35-40years, they start crying that there is no Nigerian brother available.

I think we should change this mentality in other not to cry foul when black brothers run into the arms of respectful white sisters

Bye for now

Are Nigerian women the only black women there that not having one will send you into the arms of white girls?

bukatyne:


Why did you do this na?

Cos it's true.

Dating out is not something BW can easily do.

1Sharon:
Cos it's true.

Dating out is not something BW can easily do.

You're honest.

Although I've seen more bw with foreigner's lately. It seems those white boy's have a type when it comes to bw. You must be very dark, skinny and be a professional.

khia:
Are Nigerian women the only black women in the US that not having one will send you into the arms of white girls?

Very valid question!

neyoohhh:
You're honest.

Although I've seen more bw with foreigner's lately. It seems those white boy's have a type when it comes to bw. You must be very dark, skinny and be a professional.

Thank you, yes this is true.

1Sharon:
Well I don't agree with the car thing but new Nigerian immigrants are a red flag

How are they red flag?

AutoChick4U:
Can't you date one in Nigeria and bring her over there as things progress?

Would have done so but there will clearly be an agenda from the beginning of the relationship. How will I know she is not in for papers? She might have a good heart and want to be real but with the state of things in Naija, the doubt will always be there that she has an economic agenda.

AutoChick4U:
Why? Some do so and not all ladies will get there and turn into a monster.

How will you know the one that will not become a monster? That’s living a life of chance

revolt:
bros go n hustle forget about women for now. We all passed thru this stage now na dem dey chase men. Go hustle

Still boils down to what I said in my first post. They are chasing you because you are displaying wealth and showing comfort. Not because they truly love you.

By the way, I know for sure that I am wealthier than you can ever dream of. Made it in naija. Still making it in jand. But wont live a flashy life to impress anyone.

bukatyne:


The OP is not wrong however isolating the problem.

If Nigerians are naturally classist, it is only natural that:
1. Women would be classist to men who woo them;
2. Men would be classist to women who marry them;
3. Parents classist to their kids, friends, neighbors, colleagues etc.
4. Leaders classist to followers etc.

The man whining that a woman treated him shabbily because he is poor is treating someone else like poo.

The woman whining that her husband bullies her is flogging her help for existing.

This is the summary of Nigerian classism.

JeffreyJunior:
This is not to defend our sisters in the West but I've heard of cases whereby our brothers who just arrived, professed fake love to them, marry and get papers with their help only to dump them afterwards, then go back to Nigeria and marry their long time girlfriends.

Oftentimes also, most if not all of our brothers that just arrived especially the undocumented ones move to the I must make am fast lane thereby involving in dubious activities. So I will assume that our sisters like to be with someone who already has a record just in case. Record can make or ma one in the US so everyone is being careful of his/her activities.

A good number of the crimes committed in the States today by our brothers are committed by those without documentation so it's not rude if a lady decides to apply caution when dealing with one.

Lastly, some of our brothers who just moved to the States need sometime to settle down and if I were a lady, I would give them that space and time to figure themselves out before jumping into the arms of one of them.

My point is this. Inasmuch as some of our sisters are rude to Naija JJCs, we shouldn't lump them all together without putting some issues into consideration.

Nice perspective. But my point is that it is not every one that relocates undocumented. My friend left Nigeria for Canada as an economic permanent resident, got a job before landing, paid for his house cash and is better of than most of those who have been here for more than 10years.

It is not everyone that leaves Nigeria because of money or hunger. Some of us left because of security and to be able to enjoy ur hard work without being kidnapped for driving a car you bought with your sweat.

So how will a lady know such a guy has this capability without being friends first and finding out for herself?

Making it a rule that you must look for old timers will surely get you players and make you lose the few good guys coming in.

ednut1:
Unfortunately this is true. No matter what you say they wont learn. The high value guys or yahoo guys are passing them around fucking and dumping them. They are not wise

Coming from you, then I guess its now a fact as you have an authority to speak on this, living in the same community.

pansophist:
I know at least two black women (one Cameroonian and a Nigerian) that gave their heart to freshies guys, they got used for papers, got them dumped, and even worse, one was made baby mamas against her wish (the Cameroonian). It is not always about the ladies, some Naija guys are also not nice, and high in the freshie circle. Also, other African women do it too. When I first landed, there was this Congolese girl I was dying for in my school, she got the creamy, dark, and shiny black shades, with bad-ass curves, and a killer ass. Damn. but she didn't send me, I suspect it was because I was a freshie. And she told me about her sister in South Africa, that her Nigerian boyfriend impregnated, left, and went back to Nigeria. Would I blame her? hell no. She was looking out for herself, and that is reasonable.

The sad truth is that women do not have much shot after making mistakes, and a single pregnancy to the wrong guy may cause untold damages, she cant afford that. So everything should not be analyzed to blame women, at least not this one. Again, one needs to travel a lot, to see a lot of mulattos with African fathers, who used them for papers and dump their mother. As someone that have toured almost all the countries in Europe, I see this a lot. Especially in Russia, it is so much there. Too many mulattos with mothers, but absentees African fathers. I tried to be friends with some, but they usually have this kind of disgust for anything African and trust that their mother would have done a good job to make them dissociate with anything African.

These women see all these things, and they ain't dumb. New immigrants are most likely to see a woman as an object for legalization, they are most likely to be in a survival mode and at that period, make so many mistakes. Women don't have time to wait for a man to stumble from one mistake to the other before he got it right and even if he does, what is the guarantee that she is not being used? The men saying that they won't look at a Nigerian woman's face if they move abroad, are the same that would want to use her first for papers, they dump her for his imaginary nonblack woman. How is that fair? Nairaland is filled with the advice of men saying that they will never come home to pick a wife, but can't stand being rejected by the same women you don't want over there? These women are human too. They know the game, and one thing you can't beat a woman at is in the social game, it is their workshop.

You obviously didn’t read my post and only responded to the topic.

Read the post and stop ranting about paper.

What about those that came in with the paper?

I wonder why you guys always think everyone is illegal. People get the almighty US green card before leaving their country. Its all about the value you are bringing to the table.

Gerrard59:
To be fair, not all American cities have good and reliable public transport systems. So, it depends on the city you reside. Also, it depends on immigration status she's. A Nigerian lady who is a naturalised American has attained a level of comfort over a lady who emigrated recently and still possess the Nigerian passport. You don't expect the former to suffer from immobility when she's so used to the comfort of mobility. These things have more to do with economics than just them being "Nigerians".

Another great perspective

bukatyne:


The OP is not wrong however isolating the problem.

If Nigerians are naturally classist, it is only natural that:
1. Women would be classist to men who woo them;
2. Men would be classist to women who marry them;
3. Parents classist to their kids, friends, neighbors, colleagues etc.
4. Leaders classist to followers etc.

The man whining that a woman treated him shabbily because he is poor is treating someone else like poo.

The woman whining that her husband bullies her is flogging her help for existing.

Great points

Gerrard59:
To be fair, not all American cities have good and reliable public transport systems. So, it depends on the city you reside. Also, it depends on immigration status she's. A Nigerian lady who is a naturalised American has attained a level of comfort over a lady who emigrated recently and still possess the Nigerian passport. You don't expect the former to suffer from immobility when she's so used to the comfort of mobility. These things have more to do with economics than just them being "Nigerians".

stop making excuses for them. Other african ladies and whites usually dont mind if you have a car or not. They will even come pick you. Many Nigerian babes wont even talk to you. These same babes will cry and lament of no husband. They cant be saved sha. So none of my business

Jasmine17:
Coming from you, then I guess its now a fact as you have an authority to speak on this, living in the same community.

the matter get as he be. Even Canada where most Nigerians came with papers. The established Nigerian ladies wont roll or talk to you if you haven’t secured that well paying job. Only ready made guys is there target. One guy in tech or other well paying job will be dating 3 ladies at once. Meanwhile the broke guy will later get job and may not be interested in dating them because of his treatment when broke lol

ednut1:
stop making excuses for them. Other african ladies and whites usually dont mind if you have a car or not. They will even come pick you. Many Nigerian babes wont even talk to you. These same babes will cry and lament of no husband. They cant be saved sha. So none of my business

This and their pride. Very very proud

White ladies will make the first move if they like you.
One very pretty white lady once stood up from her sit to come stamp her instagram handle on my palm.

But you see our sisters, na to measure you with how long you don spend here.

I first you come mentality �

Jasmine17:
This and their pride. Very very proud

White ladies will make the first move if they like you.
One very pretty white lady once stood up from her sit to come stamp her instagram handle on my palm.

But you see our sisters, na to measure you with how long you don spend here.

I first you come mentality �

You're right. But I think that's a culture thing with most african women cus here in Africa it's the man that's supposed to make the moves, but you should also know that white women won't tolerate some things that our Nigerian women tolerate.

WesternOligarch:
You're right. But I think that's a culture thing with most african women cus here in Africa it's the man that's supposed to make the moves, but you should also know that white women won't tolerate some things that our Nigerian women tolerate.

A white woman in love tolerates more. They'll go out of their way to learn how to cook African dishes, don't nag as much and can hold intelligent conversations. They enjoy very simple things like taking long walks, gardening and time with family.

Have you been with one? They're pure bliss.

Their thinking about wealth is just different. The parents would have bought them insurance policy, paid off mortgages on a few properties to be inherited, strong family support and they also earn well.

They don't save and don't believe in branded clothes like black women, so money is never an issue.

Black culture is too materialistic and that's our major issue.

neyoohhh:
A white woman in love tolerates more. They'll go out of their way to learn to cook African dishes, don't nag as much and can hold intelligent conversations. They enjoy very simple things like taking long walks, gardening and time with family.

I've you been with one? They're pure bliss.

Their thinking about wealth is just different. The parents would have bought them insurance policies, paid off mortgages on a few properties to be inherited, strong family support and they also earn well.

They don't save and don't believe in branded clothes like black women, so money is never an issue.

Black culture is too materialistic and that's our major issue.

Lol, where una dey see these white women.

Anyways from what you said it's clear that the problem isn't really a black woman problem but the upbringing of a black girl or boy and who holds major responsibility for raising these women and men?? Obviously the black man, so it still comes down to a black man problem and how we raise our daughters. Most guys complaining about the materialistic nature of Nigerian women for example won't marry their sister out until the hefty bride price is paid. Lot's of double standards worrying Africans.

.

neyoohhh:
Black Americans share similar value's with us despite being western.

I think it's genetic.

We love shiny things especially thing's we can't produce.

It's not genetic it's just a habit that has been passed on, plus just like your white women I've seen Nigerian women who have suffered for their husbands while still taking shit from his family members, I've also seen and dated Nigerian women who were ready to do everything for me. Some white women won't endure the suffering and pain some african women go through in their husbands house... I've also seen black men who have been destroyed by their marriage to white women. Some of these things are subjective.

arthurwillia:
How are they red flag?

Likely to be undocumented and they come with Nigerian superstition

..

pansophist:
I know at least two black women (one Cameroonian and a Nigerian) that gave their heart to freshies guys, they got used for papers, got them dumped, and even worse, one was made baby mamas against her wish (the Cameroonian). It is not always about the ladies, some Naija guys are also not nice, and high in the freshie circle. Also, other African women do it too. When I first landed, there was this Congolese girl I was dying for in my school, she got the creamy, dark, and shiny black shades, with bad-ass curves, and a killer ass. Damn. but she didn't send me, I suspect it was because I was a freshie. And she told me about her sister in South Africa, that her Nigerian boyfriend impregnated, left, and went back to Nigeria. Would I blame her? hell no. She was looking out for herself, and that is reasonable.

The sad truth is that women do not have much shot after making mistakes, and a single pregnancy to the wrong guy may cause untold damages, she cant afford that. So everything should not be analyzed to blame women, at least not this one. Again, one needs to travel a lot, to see a lot of mulattos with African fathers, who used them for papers and dump their mother. As someone that have toured almost all the countries in Europe, I see this a lot. Especially in Russia, it is so much there. Too many mulattos with mothers, but absentees African fathers. I tried to be friends with some, but they usually have this kind of disgust for anything African and trust that their mother would have done a good job to make them dissociate with anything African.

These women see all these things, and they ain't dumb. New immigrants are most likely to see a woman as an object for legalization, they are most likely to be in a survival mode and at that period, make so many mistakes. Women don't have time to wait for a man to stumble from one mistake to the other before he got it right and even if he does, what is the guarantee that she is not being used? The men saying that they won't look at a Nigerian woman's face if they move abroad, are the same that would want to use her first for papers, they dump her for his imaginary nonblack woman. How is that fair? Nairaland is filled with the advice of men saying that they will never come home to pick a wife, but can't stand being rejected by the same women you don't want over there? These women are human too. They know the game, and one thing you can't beat a woman at is in the social game, it is their workshop.

You summed it up well
Black men sha.
Our women also need to protect themselves from being victimised.

Double0h7:
Pickmesha spotted

Maybe she has already been picked? Christian feminist

kazyhm:
Most Nigerian based or bread abroad have annoying behavior and surprising not different from those bread in Nigeria. Most especially girls.....imagine a born, based, bread and schooled abroad then come to date a yahoo boy in Nigeria...got pregnant and make I no talk am finish..........amongst all the responsible guy coming forward for her.

One expects some level of self control, exposure and rational thought process from them but las las everybody na same

Worth to mention is there mostly control freak and an over sabi.

What they are good at are YouTube channel creation, how to operate iphone apps No Knowledge of different trending topics, fashion, no culture, no character, value just name it....the only difference na accent...........

Chasing money lol. Probably tried to trap the yahoo guy. Yahoo guys are not marriage material.

descarado:
Nigerian women have suffered. Both home and abroad

But are Nigerian women innocent themselves?

I believe we are perfect and deserving of each other — Nigerian men and Nigerian women.