₦airaland Forum

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

Niiade:
Please i do know whats happening out there, Most people sorry alot of people date without intentions, random dates, sex mates, friends with benefits.

if you date with intentions of marriage on its premises of a good marriage not wedding day you will see bull shit from a mile away except that man is a master pro or has deadily narcissistic personality disorder, once you see it keep it moving but yes as always we will not take accountability or responsibilty for decisions made we will blame the other party forgetting you agreed to be with them thats what i call unnecessary excuse. if you agree to be with a man that subjects you to to ill treatment its on you and noone else.

Brightw278:
I disagree, marriage is not overatted, it has always been the building block that held our community together

SavageResponse:
A person can live a fulfilled life without being married!

SmartGadgetz:
I stay crown estate security tight very close to shoprite after Ajah.
Just doing my things nothing else.
More Like riding solo.

As for traffic, doing 2 to 3 hours before appointments. It's very frustrating sometimes.
But wetin man go do.
What about yours?

SeaTrade:
You have serious issues and pedestalise yourself a lot.
Not a good thing.
Besides,there's nothing special in corporate Nigeria for women either,stop making it look like a big deal
Any little thing pepper seller this,pepper seller that amongst all these so called corporate girls,like they are not just a simple sack/retrenchment away from being same kpomo seller they always try to castigate or bellitle.
Crazy society I must say.

pocohantas:
Yenyenyen! They ignored guys in their prime. But when your gf breaks up with you to marry a ready man, you will come crying on Nairaland.

Some of you here have been dating your gfs for years without marriage. If they leave you now, another wailing go start.

You marry early? All Naija women want is marriage. They don’t build themselves.

You say make you stand before marriage? Double wahala. Evening newspaper, borehole pussy. Edede! Who go marry this one?

Abeg make una getaut!

revived:
At what age did you married please?

AutoChick4U:
Wickedness in low places

AutoChick4U:
Wickedness in low places

Harddiskng:
@Pocohantas, All prejudice aside you know that the bolded is true. A case in point is my cousin, i have talked about her once or twice. When she was young and beautiful she used all the guys that came her way to catch trips. Now that is getting less beautiful by the day, she is now serious about getting a man.

One of her old suitors actually came back and confided in me about his intention. I consider him my brother (once our bond of friendship is strong you become my brother).

I reminded of when this girl was beautiful was the prize every one around her wanted, how badly she treated him, so she was so non-chalant, he couldn’t get through to her. She didn’t consider him in her prime, why is he considering her in when he is in his prime; great job, a car, sweet house, everything is going super well for him. I told him point blank that he deserves better. There are more beautiful and sensible babes and my guy-man reasoned with me

Trust me i told my cousin about this event, she cried her eyes out. I could see the anger in her eyes, but she knew the repercussion if she moved mad against me.

You can’t eat your cake and have it.

**************************************

By the way even from my set way back in university, there are girls are not so fine (but they are really smart), they got married almost as soon as they were done with NYSC.

All these girls are still happily married, funny enough is the boss-chick, boss-bit*h that have trouble finding husband, even when they do the marriage doesn’t last up to two years.

pocohantas:
I’ve heard of the Crown Estate.

It is easier for you to handle the traffic, given that you are self-employed. You know, you can easily plan yourself and move about during off-peak periods. Abi?

I stay in Mushin.

Eriokanmi:
29plus

revived:
Thank You I have achieved alot of things less than 23years just waiting for theright timing

SmartGadgetz:
Yes.
Nice to know.
Hope your residential area is well secured, free from all these street bois making noise up down and causing unrest?
I'm scared for those residing in places like mushin, agege and so on with all the things I see when on traffic.
How do you cope with all the noise and unrest?

valves:
You need to understand intersexual dynamics. ladies (and guys too) have a timeline, but most are oblivious of it until much later in life when it's almost too late.

Ladies are at their peak period when they are between ages 18-24 (for some it extends to 26). At this stage they are approached by all kinds of guys, obviously because they are young and beautiful, but this attention they get makes them to feel like they are on top of the world, like goddesses and gifts to humanity. Among those approaching at this stage are people who genuinely want to settle with them for life, but they are not ready to forgo all the attention they are getting from the other guys. They basically want to explore and date different people.

When they approach ages btw 28-34 they realise that they are no longer as attractive as they used to be and are not getting the attention of guys as before (this is the epiphany stage). Then they become desperate to settle down but most guys/suitors have already gotten married or switched their attention to much younger ladies. So the top guys they were interested in during their peak period are no longer available to them. Most ladies at this stage will still adamantly refuse to lower their standards and settle for someone who isn't (in their minds) "up to their (unrealistic) standards", and they keep aging while waiting for "Mr Perfect."

For guys the story is different. Guys peak around 32-36 years. At this age they have worked very hard and made money, are financially independent and ready to settle. But most of them will settle for ladies who are younger (ladies in their 20s), only a handful will go for ladies in their 30s.

Also, our generation is losing it. Some ladies find it hard to keep a man because they do not know their roles as women. They have consciously or unconsciously become hard-core feminist. Reality is most men don't want to settle with such ladies.

Summary is no lady will truthfully say that guys (well-intentioned guys) never approached them in their twenties (peak period). But they are on top of the world at this stage and belive they have all the time in the world and can attract anyone just because they are young and beautiful.

If you are a lady in your 20s (especially mid 20s) pls while you are getting all the attention from guys try and identify a potential suitor to settle down with. The older you get the more difficult it becomes.

tayo60:
Everyone differs. What may be what is delaying someone might not be what another is experiencing. In this life, everyone runs a different race. Some married early and d marriage couldn't last while some late, and are enjoying their marriage now. So never mock someone who is yet to be married, so far they have not done it doesn't mean they will not do it. Everyone's time is different!

pocohantas:
Yenyenyen! They ignored guys in their prime. But when your gf breaks up with you to marry a ready man, you will come crying on Nairaland.

Some of you here have been dating your gfs for years without marriage. If they leave you now, another wailing go start.

You marry early? All Naija women want is marriage. They don’t build themselves.

You say make you stand before marriage? Double wahala. Evening newspaper, borehole pussy. Edede! Who go marry this one?

Abeg make una getaut!



If you don’t gerrit,

Fogerrit.

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.
who de many for Shiloh pass?
lalasticlala seun mynd44 Dominique justwise rule 2.

BigBashiru:
You have written well. Also a man will always cheat on an older woman. Why settle for an old woman when you can have so many flings with young girls? There's nothing like "cheating". Girls cheated themselves by misusing their prime time when every guy was after them.... biologically men are attracted to hot young things and this why men cheat on their wives with 19 yr old housemaids etc.

pocohantas:
I’ve heard of the Crown Estate.

It is easier for you to handle the traffic, given that you are self-employed. You know, you can easily plan yourself and move about during off-peak periods. Abi?

I stay in Mushin.

Raalsalghul:
I liked that guy's comment: it's same reason why I told a sister of mine that when it comes to looking for a partner/husband, what she should worry about is if he's responsible to his family: providing/taking care of his wife, kids financially, emotionally and all that and forget about if he's cheating or not.

I told her further that she shouldn't expect the guy to be be exclusive to her only most especially if he's well to do as she wasn't there when he was building and that other better looking women will also want a taste of him which he'll eventually fall to.

JerryBizz:
Jesus Christ

Well...at least, you didn't tell a lie.
But I'm surprised that's where you live, oh.

Eriokanmi:
Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

bilton6:
The older they get the wiser they become.. it's even better you're matured enough before you think of getting married because marriage is not for teens. To get good suitors always be reserved.. A perfect suitor will approach you with this observation.. being reserved,mature and always coordinated anywhere you find yourself.
Mind you! no one wants to settle down for a runs girl.

valves:
You need to understand intersexual dynamics. ladies (and guys too) have a timeline, but most are oblivious of it until much later in life when it's almost too late.

Ladies are at their peak period when they are between ages 18-24 (for some it extends to 26). At this stage they are approached by all kinds of guys, obviously because they are young and beautiful, but this attention they get makes them to feel like they are on top of the world, like goddesses and gifts to humanity. Among those approaching at this stage are people who genuinely want to settle with them for life, but they are not ready to forgo all the attention they are getting from the other guys. They basically want to explore and date different people.

When they approach ages btw 28-34 they realise that they are no longer as attractive as they used to be and are not getting the attention of guys as before (this is the epiphany stage). Then they become desperate to settle down but most guys/suitors have already gotten married or switched their attention to much younger ladies. So the top guys they were interested in during their peak period are no longer available to them. Most ladies at this stage will still adamantly refuse to lower their standards and settle for someone who isn't (in their minds) "up to their (unrealistic) standards", and they keep aging while waiting for "Mr Perfect."

For guys the story is different. Guys peak around 32-36 years. At this age they have worked very hard and made money, are financially independent and ready to settle. But most of them will settle for ladies who are younger (ladies in their 20s), only a handful will go for ladies in their 30s.

Also, our generation is losing it. Some ladies find it hard to keep a man because they do not know their roles as women. They have consciously or unconsciously become hard-core feminist. Reality is most men don't want to settle with such ladies.

Summary is no lady will truthfully say that guys (well-intentioned guys) never approached them in their twenties (peak period). But they are on top of the world at this stage and belive they have all the time in the world and can attract anyone just because they are young and beautiful.

If you are a lady in your 20s (especially mid 20s) pls while you are getting all the attention from guys try and identify a potential suitor to settle down with. The older you get the more difficult it becomes.

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.

lalasticlala seun mynd44 Dominique justwise rule 2.

pocohantas:
Also tell your fellow guys not to create topic when they realize the women your sister’s husband is fcking around with, are their wives, fiancees or GFs. Let’s keep up this logical reasoning.




I’ll gladly accept a better housing from you in Ikoyi, Lekki 1, Ikate or Chevron. Thanks Sir.

Raalsalghul:
I thought about this same thing when I saw that "alata" comment. She has this elitist mentality: like she's better than them and this is not the first time.

It's a recurring theme in her comments.

pocohantas:
Also tell your fellow guys not to create topic when they realize the women your sister’s husband is fcking around with, are their wives, fiancees or GFs. Let’s keep up this logical reasoning.




I’ll gladly accept a better housing from you in Ikoyi, Lekki 1, Ikate or Chevron. Thanks Sir.