₦airaland Forum

franciskaine:
the guy carry over principle wan enter marriage. Funny.

You earn 300k dropping #100k monthly for the home is not bad. Then with time you'll know if it's enough or not and see whr to adjust. My guy wey neva marry carry list full ground.

As a man, you have to LEAD! This is exactly how leaders show proactiveness. He only “proposed” a plan and she ran away. Lmao

Biggie2000:
So you didn't see the part where he said he will be contributing 40K, buy food stuff, change electronics, pay rent, contribute 50K for vacation, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? U nor see am abi? Someone earning just 300K has promised to handle all these heavy responsibilities, still yet ndi females are still not happy. God abeg o. Ordinary money to buy fuel for the generator and car in a month will cost more than 50K, where do you now expect him to see money for the rest responsibilities? Make e go thief abi?

Demanding 30k from 80k salary is too much. The N80k as a whole self is nothing. It is not about the heavy financial obligations he is carrying, it is about being reasonable.

Even the life he is proposing for their meager earnings of 380k monthly is outrageous. Trying to look rich while being poor. Kids are not even here yet.

Lovely. But majority of women wont agree to this. Make God help us all men

Biggie2000:
So, you didn't read the part where the OP said he is earning 300K abi? Is it his fault she's earning 80k? You want a man that is earning 300K to drop 50k for vacation, pay rent, 40K for contribution per month, pay rent, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? Kilode?!!! Do you want to kill him? It's still the same man that will fuel the car, fuel the generator, buy cooking gas, pay to repair things in the house, she will still ask the same man for money to make hair, money for data, money to send to her family members, money for transport, etc So, where do you expect the man to see money to take care of himself?. Abi, you feel that men enjoying looking haggard? You think he will not like to spend on himself? Most of you females always make plans for yourselves only; you don't care about your boyfriend. You don't care if your boyfriend is looking tattered, as long as you females are looking fine. Most of you females are just entitled and stingy people. Any woman that doesn't earn enough money to handle atleast 30% of the family responsibilities, should kindly get the fvck out. Please, don't allow the door hit you on your way out.

OP sounds like a dictator .

poiZon:
She go dey buy bra every week?

Thank you joor!!! Dem dey buy pant and bra every month abi

Mariangeles:
Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

the bit.ch will come back begging after years of trying, she might married another guy but at first things will be Rossy while in the middle of their marriage,she will cry bitterly IF SHE HAD KNOWN.

BACK TO YOUR COMMENT, you expect op to just carry everything on his head if he's ready to marry?

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Only love cannot sustain a marriage; you are already seeing the signs that you might have a stormy marriage. Obviously, she is not ready financially, either you wait until both of you are financially stable or you let go of the relationship. Again, only love does not sustain a marriage, finance matters a great deal. Infact, it is better to have inadequate love and plenty money, than have plenty love and small money.

Best wishes.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

If only u were marrying a white woman or a foreigner they understand the value of not only their money bt other peoples money.

Bt if Ure marrying a Nigerian woman it will be hard ooo. Their self entitlement is very high. She values her money when being spent bt not ur own when u spending it. She automatically believes ur money is our own and her own is just her own not our own again. A very selfish and self centered creature I must say.

Nigerian gals who think enlightened when it comes to spending money and sharing bills and self development are indeed very few.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

So because she is married she can’t take care of herself and mustn’t contribute anything??

In civilized climes she could pay half of the rent.

She must have responsibilities.

Mariangeles:
Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

No, let's agree that most of you women are lifetime liabilities.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

This is what happens when they have dated yahoo boys in the past or have friends who have.

She is just like the typical naija girl. They don't like spending their money and at the same time still want equality

Go and do thanksgiving guy

Na thief you been wan marry o

Odogwu e bad

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

Hmm Oga you marry a woman into your family and you want her to...... You have big eyesooo,you want to use 80k and sponsor daily feeding which is the highest as the rising cost of things in Nigeria,ommo,also contribute for u in paying ur children school fees and subscri[color=#770077][/color]bing monthly and another 20k,and her clothings,you for tell her you are not ready for marriage, and see how selfish ure you just share ur responsibilities be you and her and leave her alone for her, you for share laundry,cooking,house keeping days e.tc be u and her, ure just very wicked and has shown her on tym,she should better run without looking backoooo.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

300k and 80k. Where una dey see this money? Tru Tru this life no balance.
Anyways,a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. May be you guys were not meant to be

Lightway:
Look at this simp.... Sanitary pads of 2k tops, makeup is not necessary for a woman. Perfume is 2k tops.

Hair is expensive...

Hehehehe

Why do I care sef

Haaaaaaa, a whole dingbang O bajẹ gann oo

[s]

Annie001:
Guess that was how your dad treated your mum
If you want to marry and you are still not convinced your wife will support you that you had to draw out plan.
It explains more about your family background and yourself.
Reason why you attracts only simps

[/s] Common sense has nothing to do with family background . But this is something you cannot understand because you have an entitlement mentality that men should be the sole providers . Rubbish . Go and work your ass and provide

[s]

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

[/s]
Mu
Mu
I guess you don't know the meaning of proposal..

Guy if you bring this before me , I will walk away....

I earn 80k per month
My transport fare per day is 1,200 to 1,400
Feeding morning and afternoon 800
I recharge my phone
Get data for my phone 3500
Sub dstv 7900 every month end
I get gas ... No specific amount depends on how we use it
I get my toiletries for the month
I will make my hair
I still give mumsy and popsy little change
And I still do other expenses in the house

I can't remember the last time I bought maybe clothe or shoes for myself , cos at the end of all these expenses I am left with nothing, no savings , NOTHING.

I think you should try another different approach, try and see if you can help her get a better job or ask her if she can try side hustle, at least that will be bringing in little change.

Things are hard , the economy is not smiling, married couples need to have good income before they will start thinking of saving for this and that.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposals
1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Honestly man I respect you, you just gave me a model for marriage. However I don't know why your fiancee left, maybe you two should sit down and talk things out.

Mariangeles:
Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

The man has principles. He definitely will see responsible ladies who would more than capable to carry their own weights. Not that lady. And obviously not someone like you.

ozo13:
why e pain u like this nah

E no pain me.

I just see past the BS.

Biggie2000:
So, you didn't read the part where the OP said he is earning 300K abi? Is it his fault she's earning 80k? You want a man that is earning 300K to drop 50k for vacation, pay rent, 40K for contribution per month, pay rent, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? Kilode?!!! Do you want to kill him? It's still the same man that will fuel the car, fuel the generator, buy cooking gas, pay to repair things in the house, she will still ask the same man for money to make hair, money for data, money to send to her family members, money for transport, etc So, where do you expect the man to see money to take care of himself?. Abi, you feel that men enjoying looking haggard? You think he will not like to spend on himself? Most of you females always make plans for yourselves only; you don't care about your boyfriend. You don't care if your boyfriend is looking tattered, as long as you females are looking fine. Most of you females are just entitled and stingy people. Any woman that doesn't earn enough money to handle atleast 30% of the family responsibilities, should kindly get the fvck out. Please, don't allow the door hit you on your way out.

I feel like nacking you jazz!

30% is too small jor

In this era of equality? Lai Lai it must be 50 50!

She did well to run away. Why divide a fellow human beings money for them? Most of those things are your responsibility, it's up to your wife to decide how to support you.

I am planning for my children's education ahead. My wife does not look like she will support though she earns more than 15 times of what your fiancée earns. Yet as a man you must grind on

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Talking from experience, you really need to be smart with this and not coming out point blank like this so you don't end up with a desperate girl.

Just look out for qualities of a good wife in the girl you're dating and you're good to go. When I met my wife about 20yrs ago, she was only a student but then she hadly visited without bringing something i needed to my flat and will never demand for the money used in getting it, even though she is from a poor home.
I tested her in several ways and she did very well. I then married her in less than 7 months into our relationship.
She is now even doing triple more now without any coersion or pressure. Mind you, I invested heavily in her after seeing her qualities and she never disappoint till date.
Today, she is a multi millionaire!

dingbang:
I have an issue with number 4.


Her salary cannot support her minusing 20kmonthly from 80k for vacation .. The vacation is not that important.


She has a valid reason for opting out. Find another woman who earns higher so you dont kill yourself.

the vacation money is not N20,000 monthly but N20,000 every 2 years. Just about N800 monthly

Wait... You were expecting all these from a "NIGERIAN GIRL?"

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

SocialJustice:
Demanding 30k from 80k salary is too much. The N80k as a whole self is nothing. It is not about the heavy financial obligations he is carrying, it is about being reasonable.

Even the life he is proposing for their meager earnings of 380k monthly is outrageous. Trying to look rich while being poor. Kids are not even here yet.

As a salary earner who can lose his job anytime, there’s nothing wrong with financial planning with his intended wife. I am very happy he brought up this discussion right now before their marriage. Children’s school fees alone has gulped that 300k in one term if he really wants a nice school.

bigpicture001:
Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

Your concept is good, however, her earning is too small to support it successfully. Maybe you should have left at at the 10k for the trust funny only

dobnina:
Oga, you are selfish. Thank God she left you. You are the head of the family so all the responsibility falls on you.
Will you also share house chores with her? Will you share pregnancy with her? Will you share the stress in the Labour room with her?
You are just being selfish. Man up and take all your responsibility and stop acting like a gigolo.

Stop ranting like a fool. Will she share the job of carrying sperm in his scrotum with him, will she share the stress and pain he will have to go through to cater for her during her phase of pregnancy. If u ladies can't accept small responsibilities, then you have to let go of your ideas of equality. U have to accept that companies should pay men a higher amount of money that they pay women. U have to accept that men should be considered first during university admissions. Because I see no reason why a lady will go to school, get a job and still do absolutely nothing in the family

[quote author=bigpicture001 post=109048153][/quote]Your approach was the problem. She also should have discussed further with you not just quitting cold turkey.

If you want a woman to know how far your salary can go, if she's a sensible one, plan and budget for your expenses together. Leave nothing out. What you will give your family, what you will save for emergencies, what you will keep for your own enjoyment etc including other expenses.

You probably did not ask or consider what she has to do, while she feels you can do more than you are offeringto do but are just stingy. 300k is not much when it comes to running a family, but it's possible to survive on it.

What's important is understanding your expenses, her expenses and how both of you can work around it.

Long story short, you need to communicate and discuss. If things don't work out, then fine, you know it most likely won't work after the marriage.

The arrangement won't work for so many, but try make it 40k her total contribution per month, you should do the rest.



My wife and I have no separate account. Everything we get, enters the same account. To buy anything worth 1k and above, we have to agree b4 making the purchase.



Its working for us, but its not easy.

Sent87:
I love that your girlfriend,thank God for her life she ran away. There's a reason why men are regarded as head of the family, that's because they are meant to provide for their family, not saying your wife shouldn't contribute to the upkeep of the family, but you don't make it her responsibility like she must do it. The sooner you men realize that women were created to be pampered, the better for you. There's also a reason why God created them last. Everything was already on ground before they came. Now you don't need to wonder again why most women are wired to go after ready made men.

Lol......my rib. times have changed bro. This assertion will be true decades ago but not now.

mamawa123:
I am not the right person to comment on this because finance my household 100% including vacation abroad

I hope you no dey follow am wash plates or she dey deny you sex like many of these nairaland men for family section