limcar:
what happened? Share for us thats never been married and contemplating on getting hooked.

Hedgefunds:



May I know the reason for separating or divorcing?
Been married for 10yrs, Thinking if marriage is worth it now?

efficiencie:


May God help you ohh. Sometimes I wonder how and why couples who were ecstatic a couple of years or weeks ago about marriage, go through the hurdles of multiple weddings and enjoy night after night of marital consummation but yet turn out to be the worst of enemies of each other later. It's amazing and mind boggling.

Nowadays when I see couples happy during their wedding day I just feel indifferent because I can guess that 2 years down the line they will start regretting that they ever met.

Pastors and clergymen that join couples in holy matrimony need to thoroughly question intending couples about their motives, hidden fantasies and desires, ambitions, beliefs, philosophies, secrets and other factors hidden at the time of wedding that could destroy the marriage. I believe divorces are rooted in or caused by matters of the past and that most couples get so carried away by the chemistry and prospects of a married life that they forget to settle the core matters that could lead to a divorce.

OP! You may need counsel from others that have experienced divorce!

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

mradjoy:


So who go dey shine ur Kongo now?

BabaDelta1:
Dear Madam,

I salute your courage and my sincere wish for you right now is grace and wisdom to move on and train your children in the fear of God.

Let me share my story with you maybe that will be of little help to you and other readers.

I married my Ex at age 27 as a virgin. We met when I was invited to his church as a guest minister to train his church choir. Everything seem okay not until he suddenly resigned from his place of work (bank) without any form of explanation as to what led to his decision. For peace to reign, I stopped asking him and made up my mind to take charge of caring for the family.

Hubby became a chronic womanizer and from a church minister he became a gambler and gradually started avoiding church.

A lot really happened but what finally caused our separation was the fact that he did secret wedding with my best friend who is a widow. On the day of their wedding, I was the one that opened our house gate for hubby and when he was about driving out, he asked " What about your friend, hope you still here from her?' I replied, yes she's fine and he said I should greet her when next I hear from her not knowing he was going to wed her. Same friend whose wedding to her late husband I was the lead vocal of all the songs in the church and Reception. Her late parents and mine were good friends and we were in the same church choir for 10 years before I got married and left the church. My so called friend was the one that came to stay with me when I had my first baby because my mum was ill at that time and my then mother in-law was no more. Same friend that will wake me up late at night that we should pray, same friend that frowns at me putting on any dress or skirt below my knees did secret wedding with my hubby.

It was more painful when I got to know they lied to the church that joined them that I was late and that my children are with my mum.

Please note, I did not do any wrong to hubby even till this very moment neither did I frustrate him when he was out of job. He knows how much I earn, I was 100% faithful, I respect him a lot and I don't spend without taking permission from him despite the fact that it was my money.

I also need to mention that after my National Diploma, then hubby has a BSc and he wanted to go for his Masters. Because of limited funds, I agreed to hold on and continue working while I singlehandedly sponsored his Masters program till finish and during this period, he was also defrauding me and used my money to sponsor a lady with two kids through school.

I decided to move on with my life when I finally got to know about his secret wedding to my so called bestie. The betrayal from the two of them almost cost me my life. I cry morning, afternoon and night. I cried not because he got married but because he did it with my bestie that is like a sister. I was more shattered because they both lied I was dead. More still, I was devastated because he was out of job for many years and I have been the one caring for the family, rent, school fees, utility bills, clothing him and children's school fees leaving me to wonder where he got money to do wedding.

I attempted suicide twice because the shock was too much for me to bear and I was also concerned about what people will say knowing I was a committed sister in the church and also in my family.

Much later I decided to move on because of my children and the fact that I can't afford to hurt God. It was not easy for me but then, God proved Himself mightily in my life.

I became more dedicated to the work of God, I became EXTREMELY STRICT to men's advances and concentrated more on my children and job. I enrolled for more professional courses, went back for my BSc and Masters and today the rest is story.

Now I can look back and give glory to God Almighty for how far He has helped me. My children are doing excellently well in their studies, they have everything at their comfort and we are more than comfortable.

It was not easy I must confess especially when nature calls but I was strong willed not to disappoint God and my children. I did all I could to be a good role model to them and I don't say evil things to them about their dad despite the fact that he was not giving me a dime to fend for them till date. My second child was not up to a year when we separated and today, she is all grown and my son is now in one of the best Secondary school doing excellently well academically and moral wise.

By the grace of God, I and my children will be relocating to Canada soonest for further studies and my wedding is around the corner.

Learnt my Ex and Bestie are now divorced.

Op, key notes for you

- Move more closer to God
- Concentrate more on your children, job or business
- Mind what you do before your children, brace up to play father and mother role
- Avoid bitterness and do not speak ill of your ex to your children.
- Develop thick skin because friends, church members and associates will mock you but when they later see you succeed, all will be a thing of the past.
- Do not rush to get married again, easy does it.
- Work on past mistakes
- If you can afford it, travel out of the country with your children
- Try as much as possible to raise Godly children.

If there is still room for reconciliation between you and your hubby, please embrace peace and if not, I wish you the very best.

Tallesty1:
Why God no see her through in marriage? I thought they said that he hates divorce.


Nigerians sha, someone said that her husband served her "I no do again notice" and some of you are already calling the man names.

Nobody gives a dam about what he's been through. SMH

BabaDelta1:
Dear Madam,

I salute your courage and my sincere wish for you right now is grace and wisdom to move on and train your children in the fear of God.

Let me share my story with you maybe that will be of little help to you and other readers.

I married my Ex at age 27 as a virgin. We met when I was invited to his church as a guest minister to train his church choir. Everything seem okay not until he suddenly resigned from his place of work (bank) without any form of explanation as to what led to his decision. For peace to reign, I stopped asking him and made up my mind to take charge of caring for the family.

Hubby became a chronic womanizer and from a church minister he became a gambler and gradually started avoiding church.

A lot really happened but what finally caused our separation was the fact that he did secret wedding with my best friend who is a widow. On the day of their wedding, I was the one that opened our house gate for hubby and when he was about driving out, he asked " What about your friend, hope you still here from her?' I replied, yes she's fine and he said I should greet her when next I hear from her not knowing he was going to wed her. Same friend whose wedding to her late husband I was the lead vocal of all the songs in the church and Reception. Her late parents and mine were good friends and we were in the same church choir for 10 years before I got married and left the church. My so called friend was the one that came to stay with me when I had my first baby because my mum was ill at that time and my then mother in-law was no more. Same friend that will wake me up late at night that we should pray, same friend that frowns at me putting on any dress or skirt below my knees did secret wedding with my hubby.

It was more painful when I got to know they lied to the church that joined them that I was late and that my children are with my mum.

Please note, I did not do any wrong to hubby even till this very moment neither did I frustrate him when he was out of job. He knows how much I earn, I was 100% faithful, I respect him a lot and I don't spend without taking permission from him despite the fact that it was my money.

I also need to mention that after my National Diploma, then hubby has a BSc and he wanted to go for his Masters. Because of limited funds, I agreed to hold on and continue working while I singlehandedly sponsored his Masters program till finish and during this period, he was also defrauding me and used my money to sponsor a lady with two kids through school.

I decided to move on with my life when I finally got to know about his secret wedding to my so called bestie. The betrayal from the two of them almost cost me my life. I cry morning, afternoon and night. I cried not because he got married but because he did it with my bestie that is like a sister. I was more shattered because they both lied I was dead. More still, I was devastated because he was out of job for many years and I have been the one caring for the family, rent, school fees, utility bills, clothing him and children's school fees leaving me to wonder where he got money to do wedding.

I attempted suicide twice because the shock was too much for me to bear and I was also concerned about what people will say knowing I was a committed sister in the church and also in my family.

Much later I decided to move on because of my children and the fact that I can't afford to hurt God. It was not easy for me but then, God proved Himself mightily in my life.

I became more dedicated to the work of God, I became EXTREMELY STRICT to men's advances and concentrated more on my children and job. I enrolled for more professional courses, went back for my BSc and Masters and today the rest is story.

Now I can look back and give glory to God Almighty for how far He has helped me. My children are doing excellently well in their studies, they have everything at their comfort and we are more than comfortable.

It was not easy I must confess especially when nature calls but I was strong willed not to disappoint God and my children. I did all I could to be a good role model to them and I don't say evil things to them about their dad despite the fact that he was not giving me a dime to fend for them till date. My second child was not up to a year when we separated and today, she is all grown and my son is now in one of the best Secondary school doing excellently well academically and moral wise.

By the grace of God, I and my children will be relocating to Canada soonest for further studies and my wedding is around the corner.

Learnt my Ex and Bestie are now divorced.

Op, key notes for you

- Move more closer to God
- Concentrate more on your children, job or business
- Mind what you do before your children, brace up to play father and mother role
- Avoid bitterness and do not speak ill of your ex to your children.
- Develop thick skin because friends, church members and associates will mock you but when they later see you succeed, all will be a thing of the past.
- Do not rush to get married again, easy does it.
- Work on past mistakes
- If you can afford it, travel out of the country with your children
- Try as much as possible to raise Godly children.

If there is still room for reconciliation between you and your hubby, please embrace peace and if not, I wish you the very best.

Heavance:
I can't even advice.
I just hope and pray a lot of young people are reading the comments, to know its nit about how fine the pre-wedding pictures are (which sometimes turn post-wedding pics), or how fine the uniform (aso-ebi) cloth is, or how big the day is....
I think people need to be asked serious questions, questions about life before they get into it.... Questions like, what if you find out your wife/husband is cheating after 2 years of marriage, what would you do?
What if your husband /wife is so disrespectful after 2 years of getting married?
What happens if another women turned up that she is pregnant for your man?
What if he/she is the type that reports everything in the house to his/her family, without regards?
What happens if he/she becomes abusive?
What happens if he/she becomes so lazy that they don't get involved in house chores, and dirty habits sets in?
What if life happens and one is hospitalised?
What if life happens and financial aspect is really affected that to eat becomes a problem?
What happens if your wife change and your siblings and mother are not comfortable coming to your house anymore?
What happens if your wife and your mom are not on good terms?
What happens when you are not crazy about each other again, when those energy for love has vanished, what do you think next?
Then finally they should think, what could lead them to divorce?


I believe these questions will help all young people know what they are going into, and know how to tackle whatever wants to damage their home...those questions are the reason for those plenty talk of in sickness in health....
Forget all the fasting and prayers, leave religion out of it, these questions are reality check.... In fact, it happens after 1 year of the wedding, check many homes, this things happen steadily.

MeghaneMorgane:
It is well. Just love yourself. See if you can reconcile things with your husband.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Isokoboy:
If there is a way to remain in that marriage...work it out and remain....you guys don't know the psychology effect it will have on the children.... U really don't know

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

CsRockefeller:


Is this real?

nedekid:

It might be real.
But in all honesty I doubt.
That last part of going abroad made it seem like a nollywood script.

Eddygourdo:
it appears you really didn't want a divorce. So why didn't you work things out.

jamesversion:


I can be there for you sexually if you are beautiful. And occasionally help financially. If you're interested.

kponkedenge:


You won't be taking care of the kids alone.... the kids are also his responsibility.
The court would make him pay child support for them..... while the kids would be rotated amongst the both of you.

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

MeghaneMorgane:
It is well. Just love yourself. See if you can reconcile things with your husband.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful