₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Again, regardless of how close you two were or are, the fact remains that he chose this woman as his wife.

In marriage, a man abandons his father and mother, siblings as well, and enters an agreement with the woman he chooses to start his own family with. Your brother has become one entity with this woman and you are required even by law to respect that.

Yes, I am guessing you were both born from the same womb, at different times, but he now has a family and life of his own, and is no longer your responsibility. If you can't see this, then I am afraid the problem isn't the woman but you.

She is not yet a wife, Oga. She is a baby mama for crying out loud. Her type is not entertained in our family, hence my advice to him.

Did you hear me say I was advising our 3rd brother? No. Because he has a nicer WIFE. I call her children my children. That's how we live in our family. When they had issues, the lady ran to us and we CHANGE AM FOR MY BROTHER, STRAIGHT UP!!!

Who will the second brother's woman run to in hard times? Me? Our only daughter? Or mom whom the lady warned my brother not to spend more than 4hrs with while visiting her for the first time in the East? Imagine traveling from the north central to meet your mother in-law to be for the first time and could not pass the night but rather spent more days in the neighboring town doing nothing?

Na that mother in-law go send you?

By which law? Baby mamas can easily be put away. Make hay while the sun shines. That's it.

Mariangeles:
If to say op na guy na, your comment for reach two pages.

Maria, dey your dey make I dey my dey.

aboyaji:
He is not yet a wife, Oga. He is a baby mama for crying out loud. Her type is not entertained in our family, hence my advice to him..

Regardless of how you chose to see her thouhh, she is his choice and disrespecting his choice so you can instead assert your own standard is never the way to go.

Kobojunkie:
Regardless of how you chose to see her thouhh, she is his choice and disrespecting his choice so you can instead assert your own standard is never the way to go.

This is no disrespect. And I'm in no way asserting my own standard.

Just so I'm clear, so, you'd rather turn a blind eye if you were in my position?

If our only daughter and last born was close by at the time, she'd have fingered him big time. She'd have talked more sense into him. We raise no dumbskull.

Well, I've left them since last year because it was then that it all happened.

This January visit was the last I think I will give them.

Rachel98:
Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.

My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??

She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.

I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.

Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"

This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

Make them faaji
Life is simple
Or you carry one girl way stubborn go home house one day
If she jonze the girl fight am
Laugh and leave his house

What exactly is the problem here? General food was cooked, but you refused to eat it? Some people do not like people who select food for no reasonable reason. According to you, your brother is the breadwinner of the family, as long as he provides to his parents/family/siblings, you people should not disturb his marriage, let his family be.

FAKE STORY.

Op let me gist you.

First go and make money, money stops nonsense. We are three boys in the family no girl, my elder brother married a lady from Kogi state, very rude and ill manners, little thing she get angry and words can escape out of her mouth, then God pick my call during the covid they where in lack I send 400k for my brother to start a business since his work stopped then. My brother make it obvious that we are his back bone she have no choice than to be calm.

This Xmas we all came home (kaduna) in the family house no body give a Bleep about her we can take our elder brother out and make sure he is happy, if she want to do any how to him and she saw me she will mellow.
Bro make more money. Money stops nonsense or you guys should avoid your elder brother.

Danjikanbauchi:
Op let me gist you.

First go and make money, money stops nonsense. We are three boys in the family no girl, my elder brother married a lady from Kogi state, very rude and ill manners, little thing she get angry and words can escape out of her mouth, then God pick my call during the covid they where in lack I send 400k for my brother to start a business since his work stopped then. My brother make it obvious that we are his back bone she have no choice than to be calm.

This Xmas we all came home (kaduna) in the family house no body give a Bleep about her we can take our elder brother out and make sure he is happy, if she want to do any how to him and she saw me she will mellow.
Bro make more money. Money stops nonsense or you guys should avoid your elder brother.

Thank you Bros. Your input is really what's lacking on this thread. Thank you.

Most of them arrogant, wayward and uncouth ladies don't have anything. Nothing. Just get angry and mood swings.

Very anyhow ladies.

aboyaji:
Wait let me tell you what you don't know. I may have made a mistake quoting you. You don't sound learned in this discourse.

He is my brother. I am closest to him. I am not the type of adult that sits around doing nothing when things are going out of hand. I am very much responsible in his life because he is my brother. Get it?

Don't waste no time arguing with that moniker, he always try to act woke, maybe to impress some females on here.

I read your submission and I don't see anything wrong in looking out for the interest of your brother, you can't see a brother entering danger and not do anything.

My only advice for you, if your brother insists on marrying her, don't fight or force things, play along but keep your distance.

Rachel98:
I'm nice to her, sometimes I try to bring up things we could just talk about, but she replies me like I'm forcing her to talk.

She's too full of herself, probably because she's a PhD holder. Honestly I don't understand.

Phd holder in event planning? Me too I don't understand

Efewestern:
Don't waste no time arguing with that moniker, he always try to act woke, maybe to impress some females on here.

I read your submission and I don't see anything wrong in looking out for the interest of your brother, you can't see a brother entering danger and not do anything.

My only advice for you, if your brother insists on marrying her, don't fight or force things, play along but keep your distance.

Thanks. You're wise. That's exactly what I'm doing now.

I only wish him well.


Guess what happened 2 days ago. Mom called and said "let your brother not repeat what he did some years ago".

What happened years ago? He had impregnated a certain young lady in 2014. Same person. Same occurrence. Who settled the matter? Family. And he's 3-4 years older than I am. Guess what? I wasn't close to him when it happened in 2014 and the girl in question came from an irresponsible money driven and alcoholic drunk family.

This new girl smokes weeeeeeeeeeeeeed. Story for another day.

And that punk assess of a kobo.junkie is talking thrash.

alphaNomega:
Phd holder in event planning? Me too I don't understand

you don't get it....She has PhD degree in sociology & Anthropology

But what she does for a living is planning of events. She really a professional in her job. Sometimes I wonder how she treats her staff.... She's so mean and rude

aboyaji:
This is no disrespect. And I'm in no way asserting my own standard.
Just so I'm clear, so, you'd rather turn a blind eye if you were in my position?
If our only daughter and last born was close by at the time, she'd have fingered him big time. She'd have talked more sense into him. We raise no dumbskull.
Well, I've left them since last year because it was then that it all happened.
This January visit was the last I think I will give them.

Respecting someone, even a family members choice is not about turning a blind eye but instead understanding and accept that they have a right to the choices they make- whether those choices measure up to the standard you have in your own head or not.

Your brother has laid his bed with this woman, allow him lie in it. If he later finds out the bed is too uncomfortable for him, allow him make that decision too - not crucify him for lying in it in the first place. And should he instead decide to go ahead and make this woman his wife, also allow him do as he chooses. So long as there is no imminent danger, there is really nothing you can rightfully do for him.

aboyaji:
Thanks. You're wise. That's exactly what I'm doing now.
I only wish him well.
Guess what happened 2 days ago. Mom called and said "let your brother not repeat what he did some years ago".

What happened years ago? He had impregnated a certain young lady in 2014. Same person. Same occurrence. Who settled the matter? Family. And he's 3-4 years older than I am. Guess what? I wasn't close to him when it happened in 2014 and the girl in question came from an irresponsible money driven and alcoholic drunk family.

This new girl smokes weeeeeeeeeeeeeed. Story for another day.
And that punk assess of a kobo.junkie is talking thrash.

So it doesn't occur to you that the problem stems from your brother and not the gals.... you just revealed here that this isn't the first time he has impregnated a girl for love?

Family dynamics are difficult to interfere in. It isn't the wife fault in any way. Your brother should direct things the way he wants it to be. If he allows her insult you, it is because he feels she's right.

Kobojunkie:
Respecting someone, even a family members choice is not about turning a blind eye but instead understanding and accept that they have a right to the choices they make- whether those choices measure up to the standard you have in your own head or not.

Your brother has laid his bed with this woman, allow him lie in it. If he later finds out the bed is too uncomfortable for him, allow him make that decision too - not crucify him for lying in it in the first place. And should he instead decide to go ahead and make this woman his wife, also allow him do as he chooses. So long as there is no imminent danger, there is really nothing you can rightfully do for him.

You're a very little kid. A toddler. Why waste time with you? You exhibit backfire effect.

You sound very repulsive. Look at yourself. Are you an orphan?

Have you no family?

Do you live under the bridge? Are you homeless?

Just look at how disgusting you sound. Internet really is helping you be expressive. Your expressiveness is not so benign. You have a big problem.

So, if you had younger ones, this is going to be your resolve when your opinion is sought?

"Since there's no imminent danger"? Really?

Please, shove your contribution into your armpit. You have no point.

The world is corrupt and evil is because adults let it thrive without standing against it. Adult rather kept quiet.

Kobojunkie:
So it doesn't occur to you that the problem stems from your brother and not the gals.... you just revealed here that this isn't the first time he has impregnated a girl for love?

Why did I say from the onset that I was advising my brother? His choices have been bad.

aboyaji:
You're a very little kid. A toddler. Why waste time with you? You exhibit backfire effect.
You sound very repulsive. Look at yourself. Are you an orphan?
Have you no family?
Do you live under the bridge? Are you homeless?
Just look at how disgusting you sound. Internet really is helping you be expressive. Your expressiveness is not so benign. You have a big problem.
So, if you had younger ones, this is going to be your resolve when your opinion is sought?
"Since there's no imminent danger"? Really?
Please, shove your contribution into your armpit. You have no point.
The world is corrupt and evil is because adults let it thrive without standing against it. Adult rather kept quiet.

Again.... Respecting someone, even a family members choice is not about turning a blind eye but instead understanding and accept that they have a right to the choices they make- whether those choices measure up to the standard you have in your own head or not.

Your brother has laid his bed with this woman, allow him lie in it. If he later finds out the bed is too uncomfortable for him, allow him make that decision too - not crucify him for lying in it in the first place. And should he instead decide to go ahead and make this woman his wife, also allow him do as he chooses. So long as there is no imminent danger, there is really nothing you can rightfully do for him.

---

Allow your brother the chance to answer the call of wisdom for him as an individual. Stop getting in his way of learning life's lessons by intruding in his life.

aboyaji:
Why did I say from the onset that I was advising my brother? His choices have been bad.

Stop advising him and let life instead teach him as it ought to be. Wisdom is reached when we sincerely seek her out of our own. Not when others shove her or their idea of her at us. Your brother needs wisdom but first he needs to learn to seek her of his own and you being in the way is not the right idea.

aboyaji:
Wait let me tell you what you don't know. I may have made a mistake quoting you. You don't sound learned in this discourse.

He is my brother. I am closest to him. I am not the type of adult that sits around doing nothing when things are going out of hand. I am very much responsible in his life because he is my brother. Get it?

Don’t mind him bro
Imagine staying out of your beloved blood brothers life cos he mistakenly impregnated an ill mannered girl. The way some people reasoned ehn.

aboyaji:
You're a very little kid. A toddler. Why waste time with you? You exhibit backfire effect.

You sound very repulsive. Look at yourself. Are you an orphan?

Have you no family?

Do you live under the bridge? Are you homeless?

Just look at how disgusting you sound. Internet really is helping you be expressive. Your expressiveness is not so benign. You have a big problem.

So, if you had younger ones, this is going to be your resolve when your opinion is sought?

"Since there's no imminent danger"? Really?

Please, shove your contribution into your armpit. You have no point.

The world is corrupt and evil is because adults let it thrive without standing against it. Adult rather kept quiet.

That was how one of my brothers baby mama cut my mum’s hand with knife 3 months after my dad’s death. We invited our mum to come stay cos she was feeling lonely... so she had to go my 2nd brother’s place to go stay first. During her stay there, my bro baby mama saw a lady’s text on my brother’s phone and the next she did was to bring out her a knife to stab my brother. My mum had to come in between out of anger she was hurling abusive words at our mum. My mum was now trying to take the knife from her when she angrily cut my mum’s hand with the knife. Immediately, I heard what I happened I went over there to see if I would slap but luckily she has absconded.

Later the girl’s family came begging us but we had already decided our brother is not accepting the girl back

Rachel98:
Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.

My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??

She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.

I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.

Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"

This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

so for una family nobody dey there wey go fit show dat woman sense

aboyaji:
Some people are not well raised.

I had sometime last year sat my brother down. He's older than I am o. No be taata.

I told him it's still early to end this thing with that girl since he's yet to pay her bride price. Girl that makes him feel uneasy. Because she has your child. She calls to check where you are every minute.

There was a time she asked him to go home that it was late, while my brother was hanging out with friends. She wasn't in the same state with him o. Haha

She gets her phone subscribed every 2 days because she spends all her time online doing tiktok and video calls. This is not a hearsay or accusations. It is what's happening.

The same week she put to bed in her hometown, she asked for data money from my brother to post a new video she made while on wrappers in her house. She was even dancing. I said to myself, na wa o! A nursing mother?

I don't even view her post because it contains videos from tiktok. Na wife be this abi?

.

What her TikTok handle ??

Yorkedwight:
That was how one of my brothers baby mama cut my mum’s hand with knife 3 months after my dad’s death. We invited our mum to come stay cos she was feeling lonely... so she had to go my 2nd brother’s place to go stay first. During her stay there, my bro baby mama saw a lady’s text on my brother’s phone and the next she did was to bring out her a knife to stab my brother. My mum had to come in between out of anger she was hurling abusive words at our mum. My mum was now trying to take the knife from her when she angrily cut my mum’s hand with the knife. Immediately, I heard what I happened I went over there to see if I would slap but luckily she has absconded.

Later the girl’s family came begging us but we had already decided our brother is not accepting the girl back

Have you seen what poor upbringing can cause?

That yeye special adviser come d talk yamayama.

Look at the useless entitlement mentality she has. Baby mama wants to turn wife by all means.

RaymondLegacy:
.

What her TikTok handle ??

Do I even know? I'm not even on tiktok. It's her WhatsApp posts I was referring to that I don't even view.

She'd make videos, post on tiktok and from tiktok to her WhatsApp.

as an Elder Brother, I can't tolerate kind of things. I love my Brothers, I love my sister's, I am like father to them, u just can't come one day and separate me from my family, if u love me u have to love my family. If they can't enjoy my house where in this world would they go and enjoy.

aboyaji:
You people don't just read and start typing. Most of you commenters have no such experience, nor very close family. I'll buttress this.

I have 4 brothers and a sister including myself which is 5 guys and a girl (totalling 6 people) in my family.

Our 3rd bro is married to a very lovely girl. She accommodates everyone. She was very young when she came into our family (20). She even calls me her husband and I call her my wife. I'm always confident and comfortable calling her by such name because she's worth it and more. We talk on video calls all the time unending.

She always asks us when next we'd visit. She should be 25 or 26 now. Her husband is financially stable. We all could visit at once and she'd accommodate us all. Mind you, we're all grownups. No issues whatsoever. Our eldest brother is too proud of her. He should be 40 soon.

Our 2nd brother is the one in the mess now. He has a baby mama. Now, the girl wants to be converted to a wife by all means. But before that, here's the story....

I shared an apartment with this our 2nd brother. We did things together. We shared rents together. Cook and eat together until he got a girl pregnant. Because of this, I moved out and started living with a friend to give them space since he had to take care of the girl. One day, due to some irregularities in my friend's house, I couldn't bath their at the time. I took a bike to my brother's place (our shared apartment) to have a quick bath only and get to work early. I met this girl alone in the house. I told her my intentions and situations on ground for coming and I didn't visit frequently since I moved. Guess what she said; "you'll replace the water after taking your bath". I was shocked.

I took my bath and left. One other time, I had a particular cloth I wanted to wear to work. I remembered I had left it in that our shared apartment. I went their to get it. On reaching the apartment, I told her why I came. I went in, opened the wardrobe. Behold, this girl left what she was doing, came and stood behind me to see what I was taking. Me?

Then I opened the fridge to pick a satchet of water, she moved toward the fridge to still know what I was picking. I was mad internally. I didn't speak of it. I called my brother and told him all of those she did. My brother said it's not a serious something.

Now, I live in my own home alone. The girl had put to bed and I hadn't seen their child. This new year, the came back from the East with the new child. My brother called that they're back. I said I'd come see them officially. That is my duty.

Same day, same night, I took my woman to greet them from a distance I live. On reaching, I didn't meet my brother but the lady and child. She barely opened the door. I even asked her to open the door that I'd stay till my brother came back. She barely opened her mouth to greet us. After that, she didn't say anything again. No "welcome take seat". No "will you guys drink water"?

We stood until I motioned my woman to sit after pulling out a seat behind the door. I sat on the floor.

The lady didn't say anything. She was just watching some TV programs. A small girl of 22-23 ooo!!! Shortly, she saw the footwear I came in with and said "you came in with shoe into our house". I was like

I waited patiently. Shortly, she stood up, grabbed a broom and started sweeping the already neat floor at that time of the night. That was when I stood up and went outside. My woman followed suit.

We were outside in the night by 10pm till my brother came back. We went in. My brother had to go to the kitchen to make eba for everyone to eat. Her baby mama wife-to-be sat doing nothing. The baby was even sleeping. We ate, gisted and went home.

I know my brother won't see anything bad in whatsoever she does. He grants all her requests. He even calls us and ask us to please call her wife from time to time. Who does that? You don't force love.

None of my family members welcome her presence in the family at this moment.

Her problem is always telling my brother that she'd take flight to her family house. She'd take flight to some other location. My brother, who's a hustling guy for that matter. The last rent he paid was 130k and he didn't pay once.

You gentle o. Oloun! You calm baaje!

Me seat for floor? Emi Caleb!? A times, we should let people know say we get craze small.

The story and the OP story just dey vex me sha.

..