Francis609:


Thank you. She and my siblings didn't attend to my wedding but her elder sister came and she has stopped talking to her.

Francis609:
My mum have never liked my wife to the extend of wishing her death when she lost our first baby and I had disowned her for saying that. So far we haven't had any contact since the incident and we are finally proud parents of twins boy and girl born in February. My stepmother have been here for us since day 1 she is in my house taking care of my wife and babies , my mum called saying that she want to come over and take care of my wife and kids and will be spending a month . I lied to her that my wife is with her sister and will let her know when she is back to the house so she can come over. To be Frank I don't want her near my wife because she doesn't likes her and I don't think she have any good plan for us. Did I do the right thing for lying to her my wife is not around or should I give her the chance to come over and see if she have truly change?

Please If you want to understand the full story go through my old threads

Francis609:
My mum have never liked my wife to the extend of wishing her death when she lost our first baby and I had disowned her for saying that. So far we haven't had any contact since the incident and we are finally proud parents of twins boy and girl born in February. My stepmother have been here for us since day 1 she is in my house taking care of my wife and babies , my mum called saying that she want to come over and take care of my wife and kids and will be spending a month . I lied to her that my wife is with her sister and will let her know when she is back to the house so she can come over. To be Frank I don't want her near my wife because she doesn't likes her and I don't think she have any good plan for us. Did I do the right thing for lying to her my wife is not around or should I give her the chance to come over and see if she have truly change?

Please If you want to understand the full story go through my old threads

Foodqueen:


Don't allow her.

I see no reason why you should lie. U can tell her straight that you don't want her near your family.

She's too wicked

dannex4adx:


Bro, there are some missing links in your story. You didn't state what happened between your mother and your wife/ you that she would be wishing her dead.
As for the visiting be wise about it , pray to God to direct you.

dannex4adx:
Bro, there are some missing links in your story. You didn't state what happened between your mother and your wife/ you that she would be wishing her dead.
As for the visiting be wise about it , pray to God to direct you.

InTheCloudySky:
No, don't let her visit. She has never liked your wife, and she wished her death at her lowest moment. No let her come near your house, wife, or babies.

Don't neglect her, however. Call her on the phone from time to time and love her from afar. If she needs financial assistance, help her. But allowing her to visit your home is a no-no.

jesmond3945:
nawa o. Even when the mum asks for forgiveness?

Kobojunkiee:
The OP doesn't even sound like he holds a grudge against his mother. Only that he is cautious of the fact that things might not work out well if the women is brought in close contact with his wife whom she, the mother, seems to hate not for any real fault of her, the wife's, own.

jesmond3945:
thats why i said he needs to work on reconciling both of them for the future of the family. Thats only if the mum is sober and willing. If you ask the mum why she hates the wife, she would say nothing. That she just feels hate towards her. You women arr very very funny.

Kobojunkiee:
There is absolutely no logical reason for a mother to wish death on a daughter-in-law.

jesmond3945:
is just the hate in her heart, probably because of the past.

Kobojunkiee:
I don't understand at all. You didn't explain why exactly this reconciliation you suggest is even necessary on his part.

If the mother decides, of her own, to change then sure, she can initiate reconciliation moves. Else, the man should pay attention on his family and bigger things, keeping his toxic mother away from their lives in the meantime.

Kobojunkiee:
Look, any adult who can't separate her past from the present and others around is potentially dangerous to be around... and I am speaking mentally and emotionally at least.

jesmond3945:
i beg to differ. This is your biological mother. The only person she hates is your wife and not your kids. This is not new. Mother in laws and daughter in laws na cat and dog. The issue is this, if your wife knows that your mum wished her death, she would never forgive your mother. That means if she comes over, they would not get along. So it behoves on your mother to ask for forgiveness and truly repent before your wife. As for your step mum she is just playing to the gallery. That she is helping out doesn't mean she loves your kids more than your mum. She might be exploiting the situation since she knows your mum has been barred. What I will tell you, work on your mum to reconcile with your wife and take up her leading role as granny. Dont lie to her, let her come. If she misbehaves you can always tell her to stop or go back home to her husband.

jesmond3945:
no matter what, she always be his mother. If he didn't care he would be writing a thread about it. He has every right to barr her because of the treatment towards the wife. However, he still needs the mother in the life of his kids. The joy of every son is to give his mother grand kids. Thats why for his peace of mind, he should kickstart it on the condition that the mum has changed

jesmond3945:
yes you are right. However, we all are a product of our past. The way you relate with people now depends on how they treated you in the past.

Double0h7:
It seems your mother has a problem with your wife and you've picked your wife so be a man and tell your mother that. Don't lie and hide but explain to your mother the situation on ground and give her the opportunity to fix it or to go her own way.

Be a man and stay true to your principles. Your mother wants what's best for you but her execution is wrong but her intentions are pure. [s]She believes that a woman from her tribe would treat you better since from her experience your father's tribe treated her poorly. She really does mean well.[/s]

Francis609:


She hates her because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.
she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.

Romanoff:


That woman will harm your kids.

Kobojunkiee:
There is absolutely no logical reason for a mother to wish death on a daughter-in-law.

Francis609:


She hates her because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.
she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.

Francis609:
My mum have never liked my wife to the extend of wishing her death when she lost our first baby and I had disowned her for saying that. So far we haven't had any contact since the incident and we are finally proud parents of twins boy and girl born in February. My stepmother have been here for us since day 1 she is in my house taking care of my wife and babies , my mum called saying that she want to come over and take care of my wife and kids and will be spending a month . I lied to her that my wife is with her sister and will let her know when she is back to the house so she can come over. To be Frank I don't want her near my wife because she doesn't likes her and I don't think she have any good plan for us. Did I do the right thing for lying to her my wife is not around or should I give her the chance to come over and see if she have truly change?

Please If you want to understand the full story go through my old threads

Francis609:
My mum have never liked my wife to the extend of wishing her death when she lost our first baby and I had disowned her for saying that. So far we haven't had any contact since the incident and we are finally proud parents of twins boy and girl born in February. My stepmother have been here for us since day 1 she is in my house taking care of my wife and babies , my mum called saying that she want to come over and take care of my wife and kids and will be spending a month . I lied to her that my wife is with her sister and will let her know when she is back to the house so she can come over. To be Frank I don't want her near my wife because she doesn't likes her and I don't think she have any good plan for us. Did I do the right thing for lying to her my wife is not around or should I give her the chance to come over and see if she have truly change?

Please If you want to understand the full story go through my old threads