If you ask me, I feel you are guilty, you are hurting the man somewhere and you know it but came out here to find justification for ur action. Look very well, you only respond to comment that suits you well. Secondly, I see no reason of bringing a 10 years old marriage online for people to tell you what to do or what not to do.
Mrs, a family is a private affair. If you can't confront your husband of 10 years, then you are the problem or definitely you are looking for one

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Try to stop mouthing him whenever you quarrel. Pray for him cos he doesnt seem to have a forgiving spirit. When you are together, ask his permission to view his pictures to see his reaction. If he gives the go ahead, do it, then talk with him about the screen shots.

Lizzyolatunjs:

He said he forgives after we make up and I always believed him

Open up, what did you do? A man can't just start doing that. Something must have trigger it. Trust me, until we hear the true side of the husband, then we will believe this story.

How will a grown up man, start screenshoti his wife chat just like that?

You re concealing something.

Cubby22:
If you ask me, I feel you are guilty, you are hurting the man somewhere and you know it but came out here to find justification for ur action. Look very well, you only respond to comment that suits you well. Secondly, I see no reason of bringing a 10 years old marriage online for people to tell you what to do or what not to do.
Mrs, a family is a private affair. If you can't confront your husband of 10 years, then you are the problem or definitely you are looking for one

Exactly.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Most time the motive behind an action is unknown.

People must communicate in marriage, and you must seek for better ways to make your communication a pleasant experience.
You have no choice on this.

Mariangeles:


Before you confront him, send the screenshots to your phone, then delete them in his.

When confronting him, ask him how he'd feel if he found out that you've been doing the same.
Ask him how he'd feel if he found out that you've been recording all your conversations (quarrels) without his knowledge.

Lol

Bringing family issues online for strangers to meddle in and at the end it's just you and ur family no stranger will be held accountable for the advices given...

The day I will eventually or catch my wife spilling our issues online,seeking advice.. na that day we dey take a break from the marriage... the problem is that, you didn't confront your husband neither did you tell your own family (elderly ones ) or his, you quickly ran to social media court to just talk and u get 80 percent lies as advice, 15 percent sitting on the fence and 5percent with truth and you will probably go with the highest number and your marriage hits the rock, next you are the one suffering it.... always sort the issues at home, with your spouse, talk to your family, his family and few of your reasonable friends that you know sincerely that they are married or his friends that are married... not with strangers and possibly feminists and people who are angry, sad and jealous that they haven't gotten a man to marry them...

Documenting & keeping records of wrongs is all spiritually, morally & ethically incorrect!

However, as long as he's not mistreating or maltreating u in any way as yet, pls shun!

See, OP, opinions here, particularly on issues as dis, wil expectedly be divergent & conflicting, wich when followed, may unwarrantedly end up inciting u against ur spouse...

...and boom, a once calm marriage bcoms so stormy, turbulent & jeopardising!

Be dt as it may, I wld like 2 recommend a book 4 u 2 read & possibly pass it on 2 ur spouse!

What d book wil do?

Hum, if u thoughtfully read dt book, ur husband wil hv absolutely nothing 2 document against u at any future time, and neither wil he too ever open his mouth against u, if he too digest d book!

D author of dis book is Joyce Meyer!

D title?

Oh, here is it:

Me & My Big Mouth!

It's a bestselling book, available both online & offline in any standardised store!

Good luck, hpy reading & blissful home 2 u already!

SUPERPACK:
He is gathering evidence should one day he decides or you decide to go for a divorce. Solution; screenshot and keep evidence of your chats with him as counter measures, save all of it.

Will you call this a marriage then, it goes against everything I believe about it.

You both have a lot you need to bury. Make sure you see to it that all hatchets are properly buried.
If you guys love each other then both of you must work towards the goal.

Are you guys not living together? I find it curious couples engaging themselves on messaging apps

Madam so sorry to say this but your husband is planning to divorce you his gathering evidence that he can use against you later, so that people will have no says when he finally decide and show them. Please try and delete them all if you can.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

immortalcrown:

Do not say this unless he has used her past offenses as the only reason to maltreat her. It might be that the wife denies her past actions and he is being careful to avoid being called a liar next time. Remembrance is different from revenge.

But the objective truth here is the marriage is not going well. Whether the man has a good reason to keep the chats or not, the marriage is highly contaminated.

Meanwhile, why is it on WhatsApp that they have their discussions? Are they living apart?

Issues

Some time you women once u marry anyone
Body!! You will start to behave as if u are his mother!! U are not but his wife!!! Always use your good character to beat your husband!! You are giving him emotional abuse is not fair!! Some of you are the reason most men die of hypertension! Why will a man be faithful if his wife will use her mouth to tear him down? Only a strong chinekes man will take the suffering for Christ sake!! That is why some men that are genuine born again are suffering, some the wife will deliberately sex staff him because she knows he will not cheat on her!! But if your husband na player anytime u make him angry he will look for a side chick to calm him down!!

Mariangeles:


Before you confront him, send the screenshots to your phone, then delete them in his.

When confronting him, ask him how he'd feel if he found out that you've been doing the same.
Ask him how he'd feel if he found out that you've been recording all your conversations (quarrels) without his knowledge.

Delete the screenshots from his phones? Are you serious? I hope you'll be there to save her when he beats the living hell out of her? What gives you the effrontery to imagine deleting pictures that are not yours?


The OP, I think is one of those women that talk rubbish and turn around to deny them or gaslight their husbands with what they said and the man decides to keep evidence in case she begins to deny what she said.

People like that are dangerous. He's vindictive and doesn't have a forgiving spirit which is a key component of a good relationship.
Just be prepared for anything, he will shock you very soon and he'll justify such act with the evidence he has.
Just face your hustle and your kids and let him do as he pleases, e no go pass another woman sha.
Be prepared.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

It's very simple, he's planning a divorce. That's him gathering evidence

SUPERPACK:
He is gathering evidence should one day he decides or you decide to go for a divorce. Solution; screenshot and keep evidence of your chats with him as counter measures, save all of it.

Fact

My big issue here is that the woman is snooping around on her husband's phone and apparently going through his messages and pictures without his knowledge

This is a very dangerous woman and clearly bent on ruining her marriage. For this singular reason, I put it to you that the man is wise to save those messages as you go around investigating him and denying him peace

This is also likely the way you found out about his previous cheatings. I cannot for the life of me live with someone like you. Few men can tolerate a woman like you. Go on, keeping checking his phones. You would see worse than you already did

Havent you even packed out already? with a wife like you he doesnt need any enemies. You are a handful already.

The grass is not always greener at the other side

All this hypocrite gender, God only knows what men are passing through, if not for the grace of God. Now I understand why husband are always the first to die.

Only a foolish man will start to screenshot his wife chat. It's either the wife is cheating or something bad.

You better go and ask God for forgiveness and pray that God should touch your husband heart to forgive you. No man will be happy to see his wife cheating. Infact, his a good man still keep you in that marriage.

The man is a rebellious man..trust me..he has a plan... Am married also and no smooth marriage anywhere..... What I pray for is God giving me the grace never to hit my wife... Women can make mouth for Africa...we both have our indifferences.... When we settle ..it's past...I don't even keep chats or remember dates unlike some men who have diaries they even write down happenings ..

I think you should confront him about it and hear his own side of the story ...or better still ...send the screen shots to your phone and delete all off his phone and observe his reactions

habsydiamond:
Have u asked him why he was saving the chats... He wants to use them as evidence against u. Ur hubby is just a big man with little brain sorry to say this oo...

small pikin dey worry u...nvr judge a man action just wait a bit longer...Women can deny anytin in dis life including d 100k u gave Dem last mnth to buy foodstuffs against nxt mnth...guy I almost did same I just chill lock up n nq why many men dey die or u wl just see Dem hit der wife one day.
Becareful

immortalcrown:

Do not say this unless he has used her past offenses as the only reason to maltreat her. It might be that the wife denies her past actions and he is being careful to avoid being called a liar next time. Remembrance is different from revenge.

But the objective truth here is the marriage is not going well. Whether the man has a good reason to keep the chats or not, the marriage is highly contaminated.

Meanwhile, why is it on WhatsApp that they have their discussions? Are they living apart?

Your reply might just be the only reasonable one I've seen thus far.....

People just jump to conclusions without listening to both parties. You only heard her part of the story, no one heard from the husband..... Both of you should check yourselves and make amend.

Saving for a raining day

Your husband is cheating on you currently the save chats are been forwarded to his mistress to attract sympathy and when a woman feel pity for you she gives u free knack to console you , your husband has the soft spot of another woman and he is making sure he take the full advantage

Summary your husband is cheating on you with a lady you know very well and talks with that chat is the only way to paint you black do that she lady will continue fuckin him

Those are his receipts

Stop telling him something that he can't forget..u might saying it out of annoyance..but those words hurt not everybody can forgive and forgot so easily like that....try as much as u could to control ur mouth anytime u are hvn problems with him

immortalcrown:
Do not say this unless he has used her past offenses as the only reason to maltreat her. It might be that the wife denies her past actions and he is being careful to avoid being called a liar next time. Remembrance is different from revenge.

But the objective truth here is the marriage is not going well. Whether the man has a good reason to keep the chats or not, the marriage is highly contaminated.

Meanwhile, why is it on WhatsApp that they have their discussions? Are they living apart?

May your crown of immortal wisdom continue to shine.

This reminds me of a very terrible abusive sister but i have forgiven her too but would do the same , by recording her words and actions, just like OP husband did, cos the disrespect and verbal abuse i get from her, is out of this world and mark my words, i have never laid a finger on her. Ofcourse when family members come around, she plays the victim card.

JONNYSPUTE:
.... And you think a man will just wake up and start screen shorting messages he had with his wife if all is well between them?

Only a childish person(man or woman) would do such a thing, instead of addressing issues openly.

Remember, a male nairalander once brought a similar issue here.
He found out his wife records their quarrels, and play them out to her mother.
People were against what the wife did then.
How is it different now?

You, how would you feel if a spouse you trusted and felt safe with did that to you?

Do you know if she has been using abusive and derogatory words on him and whenever it's brought up,she denies it?
So your earlier advice to her will only worsen the situation.
Let her search her heart first and if she is truly innocent,she should then find out why he was doing that but if at all she is guilty. Let her just forget about confronting him.

It's either they've both been using derogatory words on each other, or the man sets her up to go off, while he deliberately appears innocent, with the intention to screenshot the chats, then use them against her later on.
Whichever way, they're both guilty.

Oluwasaudy:
The man is a rebellious man..trust me..he has a plan... Am married also and no smooth marriage anywhere..... What I pray for is God giving me the grace never to hit my wife... Women can make mouth for Africa...we both have our indifferences.... When we settle ..it's past...I don't even keep chats or remember dates unlike some men who have diaries they even write down happenings ..

I think you should confront him about it and hear his own side of the story ...or better still ...send the screen shots to your phone and delete all off his phone and observe his reactions

Just pray that your wife don't cheat on you.
You will know all this are just stories. Rebellious or not. Then you will know the reality of life.

Human are quick to judge when they haven't face the reality of life. Just pray that God should keep your marriage.