₦airaland Forum

If you are not ready give me her contact , I am ready for marriage.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

1. If you are financially stable now, will you like to marry her?
2. As you are still struggling now, will she agree to marry you?
3. If she accepts you the way you are now, are you ready to marry her?

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

how financially stable do you mean? is it to be able to afford a big wedding,so that people can wine and dine or have a moderate wedding wedding and put more focus on after-marriage life?
is she ready to work or support ur kind of work and support ur dreams?if yes,Man, u can go into marriage now. And if u like,u can decide on when to have kids.
alot of pple have entered marriage with very little financially but made it well at long run.
don't be surprised when this lady leaves for another man.not because she doesn't love you but u ain't ready.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!

If she is also working, you can marry very soon.
At 27 she need to marry asap.

My advice. Let her go. Who knows she might find a husband that is rich who will eventually help your destiny through her. And of course, you still get to bleep her unto say you get the code. Las Las you no lose.

Just kidding.

Good advice now.

Let her go. There will always be someone better for you when you are ready. Don't feel like you are losing her. Good girls plenty when a man is made.i mean real good girls not just girls that are after you money. I mean hardworking and cool girls. Think ham yourself, if making it was easy, why is she not made herself. Baba let her go and focus on your life.

Most women are the one holding their husband’s riches.

Think of obi Cubana and Emoney. They had nothing before they got married but now. And many. Our formal landlord told us his own story that he was even squatting on someone’s house when he got married but now a millionaire. He has houses and a limited liability company. So u never can tell if she is ur succes star.

Good luck

Louisfrank:
Guy, you've made your points clear to her, if she's truly meant for you, she'll wait and convince her mom, if you decide to get married and then start working on your financial stability it doesn't always work out, make it first oo

When will he make it

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Which stability do you need again.. please go ahead and get married.. and grow together in love with her.. it is better that way knowing you both achieved all together

Kingsasian:
Oga let her go. A woman's time and that of a man are not the same. At her current age, 3-4 years of waiting is too much.

I tire o..she will be 31 then..thereafter op will go for a younger woman as wife after 5 years when he is stable..let her go..allow someone who has a stable biz marry her..I dont know y girls date thier age mate at 27 your boyfriend should be 34 years

Extratyre01:
Give am Belle.. Na sure odd be that, she go wait

Insanity

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

Lolzzzzz

Who told you she will not see someone to pay her bride price in 2 or 3 months?

Remove that thought



You don't want her to go and you dont want to marry her now

By the time you make it in that 3-4 years you are envisaging is it not someone girl you will collect to

You mustn’t do traditional marriage or anything . If within you, you know she is an honest woman and you can’t replace her, go meet her people and at her dowry, shouldn’t be more than 200k. Then you both start hustling normally and when things are stable enough for you, you can do proper marriage ceremony if you both wish.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Unfortunately you have no assurance she can bank on. Marriage is not all about when everything is set. What if your acclaimed business collapse two weeks into your marriage?

Marry her. Dont be afraid. You will appreciate this hard decision later. She will will favour you.

Tell her if she have saved money up for the marriage if she has not she should stop pressuring you till she has enough money to contribute for the marriage

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Bruv dont give in to emotional blackmail. As a man place your priority above any woman's need until you get that which you are looking for. For sure she would prefer the you you are setting out to be.. At a time t no time.

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

Bro follow your mind, the worst mistake I made was to bring my relationship here while monickers would confuse you the more.

Nairaland ruined my relationship and I am today recycling without meeting good girls.

You are man enough, you should know what you want.

Take the risk, Life's a dice.

Nyascobar1414:
I come from a good parental background,love, care and all that...

But the males In my hood,dont and cant settle for less..
We dont take used product...

Maybe you suffering from low self esteem..


Trading commitment for a used girl is an act of Insanity..

Dammn it!

You no dey tire sef....
You keep going from one thread to another talking about this, he get who dey pay you?
We've heard... Guys should marry virgin oya you goan marry your virgin and rest

No listen 2 this person

Extratyre01:
Give am Belle.. Na sure odd be that, she go wait

You look mature and a husband material in your word

Please anything preasure whether from a woman or man, friends or family never I repeat never indulge in it,,,, most times it doesn't end well

And if you as a man or woman you can't wait for your partner quietly move

Take your time dude and plan ahead, it can be tomorrow God will flourish that your business it, it may not be up 3 to 4 years time

God's time is the best

victooman:
oga not few women abeg,,go and study the productive system of women, 90 if not 100 percent of women give birth in their 30s except on medical condition, we are not having more than 3 kids, so by the time she is 40 she is done with kids by God grace,, the main focus is her happiness and well being in the marriage,, if honestly she gets any man who is better and can give her more happiness l wish her well,, not all this married men she told me chasing her around.

Dey there dey do calculations until you born pikin with Down's syndrome (God forbid).

My advise: read this book "One minute millionaire." You will learn that you can make it as soon as you want provided you're determined to. 3 - 4 years is too much and suggests to me that you're not even confident in that business of yours.

victooman:
oga not few women abeg,,go and study the productive system of women, 90 if not 100 percent of women give birth in their 30s except on medical condition, we are not having more than 3 kids, so by the time she is 40 she is done with kids by God grace,, the main focus is her happiness and well being in the marriage,, if honestly she gets any man who is better and can give her more happiness l wish her well,, not all this married men she told me chasing her around.

Watch it, she will be preyed on by her desperation. Her mother telling her to go bring a man, does she think it’s that easy or she can just go and grab any man on the street.

Women should also strive to be atleast marriageable (in a bit of financial freedom to compliment their men) before proposing marriage but unfortunately most don’t look that way.

You’ve already highlighted the possible outcomes that what if in her sojourn of impatience nd she still doesn’t get married in 3-4 years, I bet she will still want to be manipulative nd run back to you wic I bliv u are wiser with what to do.

Leave her, to her decisions and whatever she decides don’t blame her,,, she’s right, you’re right. Just wish her well. I had this kind of talk with a 25yrs old nd she’s been on her journey of merriment. I’d wished her well.

Have your prayed about it

Hmmm

No

victooman:
oga not few women abeg,,go and study the productive system of women, 90 if not 100 percent of women give birth in their 30s except on medical condition, we are not having more than 3 kids, so by the time she is 40 she is done with kids by God grace,, the main focus is her happiness and well being in the marriage,, if honestly she gets any man who is better and can give her more happiness l wish her well,, not all this married men she told me chasing her around.

Oga stop this talk

You are just looking for reason for yourself only

Let me advice you

Move close to God first and let her too, if you are having sex together stop it now so you two can think deep and better

Start going to the girls house as her suitor let them know you, if she doesn't agree then you two are just deceiving yourself

Involve your parents and let them know her too

And see how it goes from there

I would advise you to go see the mum, informally at first and introduce yourself, discuss your timeline and the girl will be relieved,you would have vindicated yourself in case they disagree with you. Carry on from there.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Guyman never let your partner to pressure you into marriage when you are not financially ready!
You will live to regret it and she will always insult or demean you if she doesn't have the matured or understanding persona!
Stand your ground and refuse to be put in an uncomfortable situation that you are not mentally and financially prepared for!
If it means letting go of her,please do so for your sanity and peace of mind especially when the complain becomes constant!
You will still find another lady that is matured enough to understand what you are saying and willing to be patient until you are financially stable!
If i may ask...what are her contributions towards ensuring that you achieve that financial stability?

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

If you can pay house rent and take care of you both, you don't need a month extra.

At 27y, she IS OLD! Marry her IF YOU WANT TO, or let her go and pray that she finds her husband from God.

Why be with a woman if you have no immediate intention of marrying her? May God settle her into a right family.

As for you know that God created nothing like girlfriend.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Any lady will succumb to her mother's pressure.

Genuine advise, good women are scarce...If you are sure she is one...Do little, relax and chase the money.

She has her biz, you have yours..You both are graduate, what else are you waiting for.

Another man is taking her off your grip if you dull...If you loose a good woman, everything go scatter scatter...

I don tell you finish...Pay her dowry and take her home...You can still do wedding of 20people..

When bigger money enter, you insult the money by throwing a bigger party..

Age is not on her side..

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

The best advice I will give to you now is:
1. Do not marry under pressure, it doesn't end well.
2. If you are not ready for marriage (financially and other vital aspects), do not go into it.
3. Discover your purpose in life and check if the lady in question can help you to fulfil your purpose in life.
4. Work on yourself (especially your weaknesses) and try to become a better person.

Remain blessed

WatchYourSix:
The law should allow all these girls marry themselves in the registry so that they dont miss their planned date of getting married .....because me I dont understand how you will want to marry with another person's money and contribution, yet will be fixing the time by yourself as if the person doesnt have a say....

what does she mean by telling you she planned to marry by 25 as if you are slowing down her life and she could have done it one her own....

.look oga.. Women will always make it look like they are doing you a favour by being with you...its their classic way of getting what they want...
even sex...they will make it look like they dont want it and that they are just giving their body to you to help you..

She can even tell you she left many guys for you this year.....all na format....

Don't do anything under pressure...she will leave or cheat you if you can't cater for her .... She probably has little or nothing to contribute to the ceremony or marriage....its all on you...

So..if you are not ready...let her see reasons with love why you both should wait....if she refuses..oga let her go... women always have plan b these days...

They have always had plan B. There is strong possibility that someone is already on the corner and she wants to exhaust plan A before migrating.

WatchYourSix:
The law should allow all these girls marry themselves in the registry so that they dont miss their planned date of getting married .....because me I dont understand how you will want to marry with another person's money and contribution, yet will be fixing the time by yourself as if the person doesnt have a say....

what does she mean by telling you she planned to marry by 25 as if you are slowing down her life and she could have done it one her own....

.look oga.. Women will always make it look like they are doing you a favour by being with you...its their classic way of getting what they want...
even sex...they will make it look like they dont want it and that they are just giving their body to you to help you..

She can even tell you she left many guys for you this year.....all na format....

Don't do anything under pressure...she will leave or cheat you if you can't cater for her .... She probably has little or nothing to contribute to the ceremony or marriage....its all on you...

So..if you are not ready...let her see reasons with love why you both should wait....if she refuses..oga let her go... women always have plan b these days...

Exactly!