You have to let her go.
Both plans do not tally.
By her standards, she's 2 yrs late already.
But you still need 3_4 years more.
That will not be feasible.
You just have yo let her find her own husband.
Most people meet good people they wouldhave married but for other reasons, they couldn't.
Don't over flog the issue.
Just accept it. That's life.

victooman:
not true, God will never let that happened,my love for that girl is beyond beauty and character, the connection and compatibility is there ,l may fvck all the women in the world but my heart will always come back to her,,

DEY THERE DEY TRY TO LOOSE YA TROUSER, OTHERS DON FVCK FINISH GIVE THE GIRL BETTER BELLE . U GO SEE AM KOROKORO,
SHE GO COME TELL U SAY ,

DAT TIME I TOLD U SHEBI U SAID U ARE NOT INTERSTED.
E GO SHOCK UR BONE MARROW

NA SO I TAKE ARRANGE ANGELA WEY DEY DIE 4ME CUS ME , 4MY GUY WHEN NEVER MARRY , DIS GUY GO FVCK UP ,ANOTHER NIGGER GIVE HER BELLE SHARPALLY SHE GO BORN TWINS BOY N GIRL.
I WON KILL MY GUY .....

WatchYourSix:


The problem is not rushing....the problem is making the guy feel like he's the reason she didn't marry at 25...making him feel shes doimg him a favor by staying with him......

But he is the reason she's not married by 25
She needs to find a guy who can afford her
Sad but real

Person wey not get shi shi for ceremony and marriage dey demand when she wan marry... ok oooo....

Sometimes we think that getting married and building a business are two mutually exclusive things that can't be done simultaneously.

Honestly, apart from the money you'd spend on the marriage ceremony itself, I think that marriage itself will help your business grow as it will help you get more focused and spend less time and money on frivolities.

Think about it, when you get married both of you can save money on paying separate rents, feeding separately, flexing separately, etc. As for the kids, you can keep that off for the next 4 year instead of keeping the marriage off for that long and risk losing the girl (shebi you talk say you love am).

Don't be selfish, who's to say that you would not end up leaving the girl after the said 4 years if she waits for you. Women's time actually tick and it's not a social construct like some people like to say.

If you love that girl, organise a low-key marriage. Meet with her people, pay her bride price and make an honest woman of her. Instead of keeping her waiting for the next 4 years, keep the white wedding and the kids waiting for that time okay.

That's my honest advice bro. God will help you in your business, in your marriage and in life generally.

Nigerians and their sexist advise sha

If she's everytin u need in a woman: go straigit into partial introduction, hire a lawyer to write down your promise not to leave her and you guys could get married in 3yrs time or before it, unless she deceides to break the rules; cheating etc.. Its hard to find a peaceful and caring wife o! No go fumble and u go on to later marry wife wey u go de try to meet up wit her wants, that kinda lady always cheat in marital home. #advice

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

My brother love is not always enough condition for marriage. There are many other conditions to be considered, am happy u mentioned one of them "finance". 3years is not long time. If it is will of God that the girl will be your wife inadvertently she will be, however if she can't wait let her go. There are many other good girls like her and better than her..

Extratyre01:


Give am Belle.. Na sure odd be that, she go wait

You took the words out of my mouth I swear.

Cromagnon:


But he is the reason she's not married by 25
She needs to find a guy who can afford her
Sad but real

Sigh!!
Women will easily manipulate people u...

Hello,

Of a truth its not easy being a man especially when it comes to a marriage decision, i will advised you both sit down and rub minds, have been married for 4yrs counting and i can you for tell you for a fact God has been faithful, it wasn't easy though but my wife has been of good luck and divine blessing to me since i married her,most thing i struggle to achieve when i was a bachelor have been accomplished by the grace of God, with the support of my darling wife, am not saying you should rushed into marriage obviously you've to be ready and you have to plan, all am saying is marriage has it own blessing if you truly love your girl and she complete what you want in a woman why not give marriage a second thought ? sit your girlfriend down open up to her on your finances and business plans, have a solid agreement on what you both can have afford from accommodation to food, and all other things with prayers and God on your side, you will successed take a step of faith!! with God all things are possible a good woman comes with lot of blessing your girlfriend could be your divine blessing to breakthrough you have been praying for.

My little small boy advice though!!

Cromagnon:


But he is the reason she's not married by 25
She needs to find a guy who can afford her
Sad but real

Sigh!!
Women will easily manipulate people u...
Go and read the guys chat....if marriage were that simple why isn't she married at 25 before he met the guy.....shes 27 now...with several.body count, now want to blame the guy she just met as if she has been turning down many rich men for him....

The truth is she never met any rich men or men that were ready....she has passed 25 before meeting the dude...how come It's the op that delayed her.....??

victooman:
bro the thing weak me,, all l am asking is for her to be patient,,

what if you marry her and the plan to stabilize your business or the financial stability you're looking for in 3 years to come, happens in 3 months? Marriage comes with its own blessing too. Pray for God's guidance and he'll guide you.

Don't succumb to pressure. Be clear-headed and make them see your reasons before you can make a move. So, they don't accuse of marrying their daughter without being stable.

WatchYourSix:
The law should allow all these girls marry themselves in the registry so that they dont miss their planned date of getting married .....because me I dont understand how you will want to marry with another person's money and contribution, yet will be fixing the time by yourself as if the person doesnt have a say....

what does she mean by telling you she planned to marry by 25 as if you are slowing down her life and she could have done it one her own....

.look oga.. Women will always make it look like they are doing you a favour by being with you...its their classic way of getting what they want...
even sex...they will make it look like they dont want it and that they are just giving their body to you to help you..

She can even tell you she left many guys for you this year.....all na format....

Don't do anything under pressure...she will leave or cheat you if you can't cater for her .... She probably has little or nothing to contribute to the ceremony or marriage....its all on you...

So..if you are not ready...let her see reasons with love why you both should wait....if she refuses..oga let her go... women always have plan b these days...

so apt

This is exactly my condition 3 years ago, pressure from everywhere on her, and my business never stand that period, we discussed about it and she stood by me for 3 years not withstanding the pressure, currently we are planning for our wedding, everything has been set, she is 31 now am almost 32.

I also created a thread for it that period to seek advice like you did.. we had issues those period even didnt spoke for some times. But later everything worked out.

My story and yours sound the same but might not work out the same, but you just have to try your best and leave the rest for God like I did, focus on your business for now that's very important, don't let pressure make you take drastic decisions.

If you are 100% sure in your heart she is the one without no doubt in your mind, so as not to waste her time, If she is yours she will wait for you no matter the odds and don't disappoint her if she decide to wait..

I wish you well..

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

don’t get married if you’re not ready OP if she can’t wait let her go.

Don't do anything with pressure you will surely regret it,do things at your comfortable time.

WatchYourSix:


Sigh!!
Women will easily manipulate people u...
Go and read the guys chat....if marriage were that simple why isn't she married at 25 before he met the guy.....shes 27 now...with several.body count, now want to blame the guy she just met as if she has been turning down many rich men for him....

He is the reason

I didn't say he is responsible

English

The truth is she never met any rich men or men that were ready....she has passed 25 before meeting the dude...how come It's the op that delayed her.....??

She chose him
He is her reason

Cromagnon:


He is the reason

I didn't say he is responsible

English


She chose him
He is her reason

She has already passed 25 before meeting the guy.. how is he the reason she not yet married at the 25 she planned??
Look..ur thinking and my thinking is not the same..lets no dialogue abeg

Ybaby:


If she is truly a good person then you better marry her now... use your tongue to count your teeth how many good girls do you know. Marry her and delay pregnancy till you make it

Same you will come and castrate him tomorrow if he falters in his primary duty of provision since that is your mantra on this forum.

victooman:
fortunately for her l will find her attractive till the end of our lives,,if l can't find her attractive till she is 32,, then l shouldn't even marry her,, any way l have spoken to her just pray God give us sustainable income to end this thing well,, thanks for the advice.

God bless you for this , just let her see reasons to your decisions , I wish both of you good luck.

WatchYourSix:


She has already passed 25 before meeting the guy.. how is he the reason she not yet married at the 25 she planned??
Look..ur thinking and my thinking is not the same..lets no dialogue abeg

Nah
You no Just Sabi English

Cromagnon:

Nah
You no Just Sabi English

Thank you

victooman:
some of you need to be more reasonable and considerate,, haba! she was single until 26yrs l met her just last year and we officially started dating 5 months after,, why are u guys making it look like l am wasting her time? if marriage is easy why are all the single women not married? l am a man the majority of the responsibility of that marriage will be on my shoulder,, dont l have the right to make proper plan? u people keep shouting let her go,, let her go,, what if the other man she will meet fail to do the right thing,,is that how she will keep jumping from one man to the other?

You seem prideful, immature and naive. You seek advice, you were given advice, then you got annoyed by the advice because they didnt favour you.
Do whatever you want you young man and stop asking people for advice since you cant take it.

The truth is always bitter and not what we want to hear.

Mind you, you are the one unreasonable for thinking, you probably know how the future will be. You are not ready to settle down and you cant for sure say when it will be because you arent God.
You are inconsiderate to ask her to wait for the future you are not sure when it will be.

Mark my words, when you get money, older, you will have a different choice of women.

Peace

Raalsalghul:


Same you will come and castrate him tomorrow if he falters in his primary duty of provision since that is your mantra on this forum.

If he marries her then he must provide. Will he let a good woman go or will he skill up and become a provider ?! The choice is his.

OChimex:


You seem prideful, immature and naive. You seek advice, you were given advice, then you got annoyed by the advice because they didnt favour you.
Do whatever you want you young man and stop asking people for advice since you cant take it.

The truth is always bitter and not what we want to hear.

Mind you, you are the one unreasonable for thinking, you probably know how the future will be. You are not ready to settle down and you cant for sure say when it will be because you arent God.
You are inconsiderate to ask her to wait for the future you are not sure when it will be.

Mark my words, when you get money, older, you will have a different choice of women.

Peace

you are a blinking fool,, please next time when you see my thread avoid it,, that l ask for advice doesn't mean l am a daft who doesn't have an iota of what is right or wrong, millions will read this thread in years to come , so if we can't learn together and must take ur advice please hold it to ur self,, l dont know the future by asking her to wait for me, but you know the future by asking her to try another person,, oga l beg you in the name of God, take note of my name,, avoid my thread next time,, immaturity kill u there.

iwatchandlisten:
"He that findeth a wife...obtains favour from the Lord" - If you are convinced both of you genuinely love each other, go ahead and plan towards marrying her in a year's time. When you are married, both of you will continue building your lives together while enjoying the favour of God.
To replace quality is not always easy even though "there are many fishes in the ocean", eg Chelsea are still looking for quality striker since Don Conte carelessly threw away Costa�

true bro , thanks,,

fluffybaby:

Marry but hold on with child bearing. All this excuse you are making is because you are not too sure of your relationship it's like deep down you have the feeling that there are other good fishes in the sea your only problem is the time it will take you to start hunting again till you find the next one. If not you would have asked her to find her level. If you two were on the same page you will plan how you will run your home and lives based on your economic position. If she is a woman that has the habit of spending above your means and verbally or emotionally abusive towards you then not wanting to marry her until you have enough is understandable but not wise.
You can marry and focus on career for two years. Save enough and maybe start making a family. If you no want marry let her go jejely.
If no money for wedding I understand that one too.

Thanks for the advice,, honestly, l have no desire for any woman ,,and at this stage have no doubt about her or our relationship,, we are both igbos and marriage rite in our place is not usually easy,, l stay in a room apartment for now, an our business is still at an infant stage, the truth is that the business is great and the 3-4yrs l stipulated above is a projection,, l am not God but honestly l know within that period the business will be stable as l want it to be, l am already planning on another branch before December this year,so l am very positive about my business and God,,l appreciate all the advice l wasn't expecting everyone to agree with my point of view,,but the idea that l will be wasting her time in those years and l wont find her attractive in her 30s is just bullshit,, why marry a woman l wont find attractive in her 30s? why asking her to go when most of this men blabbing their mouth here are not ready for marriage even those who are financially stable,, ?

val4sure:
This is exactly my condition 3 years ago, pressure from everywhere on her, and my business never stand that period, we discussed about it and she stood by me for 3 years not withstanding the pressure, currently we are planning for our wedding, everything has been set, she is 31 now am almost 32.

I also created a thread for it that period to seek advice like you did.. we had issues those period even didnt spoke for some times. But later everything worked out.

My story and yours sound the same but might not work out the same, but you just have to try your best and leave the rest for God like I did, focus on your business for now that's very important, don't let pressure make you take drastic decisions.

If you are 100% sure in your heart she is the one without no doubt in your mind, so as not to waste her time, If she is yours she will wait for you no matter the odds and don't disappoint her if she decide to wait..

I wish you well..

God bless you bro,, thanks

WatchYourSix:


Thank you

you're welcome

victooman:
some of you need to be more reasonable and considerate,, haba! she was single until 26yrs l met her just last year and we officially started dating 5 months after,, why are u guys making it look like l am wasting her time? if marriage is easy why are all the single women not married? l am a man the majority of the responsibility of that marriage will be on my shoulder,, dont l have the right to make proper plan? u people keep shouting let her go,, let her go,, what if the other man she will meet fail to do the right thing,,is that how she will keep jumping from one man to the other?

This man sef are u a mugu or what..from the start of this ur thread to now..uve just been quarreling everyone..everything uve written so far is just trash upon trash...why did u now put it up here since you know everything, instead of u to be diplomatic and wise with your responses ur just there showing how useless and annoying you are..
Thats one thing with enugu and ebonyi people...always behaving like half 1mbeci1e all the time..tueh

QueenVaji:


This man sef are u a mugu or what..from the start of this ur thread to now..uve just been quarreling everyone..everything uve written so far is just trash upon trash...why did u now put it up here since you know everything, instead of u to be diplomatic and wise with your responses ur just there showing how useless and annoying you are..
Thats one thing with enugu and ebonyi people...always behaving like half 1mbeci1e all the time..tueh

God punish your mother,, Enugu behave like slowpoke and you behave like who? that l open a thread doesn't give some of you an audacity to say trash,, some advice are plain stupid and l am allergic to nonsense,, l took this same issue to quora and the responses were smart and eloquent,,how l wish there is a delete button l would have deleted this thread since,, some of you reason with your anus,, just look at the accusations and constant assumptions simply because l ask a woman to wait for me,,,,morons,!!, all of of you are financially stable in nairaland and yet will que and open different thread begging for money,, even those who never smells 50k a month are here telling me trash,, please if you are going to come here and tell me l am wasting her time ,,you will receive the insult of your life,, that statement is stupid and was not even the reason why l open the thread,,

victooman:
God punish your mother,, Enugu behave like slowpoke and you behave like who? that l open a thread doesn't give some of you an audacity to say trash,, some advice are plain stupid and l am allergic to nonsense,, l took this same issue to quora and the responses were smart and eloquent,,how l wish there is a delete button l would have deleted this thread since,, some of you reason with your anus,, just look at the accusations and constant assumptions simply because l ask a woman to wait for me,,,,morons,!!, all of of you are financially stable in nairaland and yet will que and open different thread begging for money,, even those who never smells 50k a month are here telling me trash,, please if you are going to come here and tell me l am wasting her time ,,you will receive the insult of your life,, that statement is stupid and was not even the reason why l open the thread,,

M0R0N