formerUKSF:
The pressure will still rise,you are projecting 3-4 yrs for financial stability.
You think she will wait for you.

Its obvious you will lose the girl

it is well bro,, l will rather lose her than go into a marriage without any form of financial stability,,let me ask u people what exactly is wrong with a woman marrying in her 30s?

Since you asked for advice and say you truly love this girl, I'd say grant her wish and marry her. I feel she wants that sense of security and to begin her family asap. Maybe she wants to be done with childbearing by 33 who knows.?
But do what's within your capacity for now - a simple court wedding, modest traditional wedding, or even a simple church wedding between you and the pastor and both families. The covid19 era showed us modest weddings are possible.
Let her know what you can do and then y'all should plan the future together. She'll have to work and bring in income to support the home and all.
Las Las you will even come to celebrate the fact you took the bold step when you see your kids and the blessings marriage comes with.

Dshocker:


If you know you can't marry her now, its best you let her go, rather than put her hopes up for 4yrs.

The chances of you getting married to her is under probability, meaning you might change your mind later and by then she will be 31yrs.

The issue of being financially stable before you get married is just an excuse that holds no water, what if God has destined you to be great in 10yrs times, so it means you will keep waiting till when money comes?

Guy there is nothing special about marriage, provided you can feed yourself, then feeding her is also no problem.

And if truly you want that business to grow, i will advise you marry her, so you can be able to spend money with accountability.

why now now now,, this is how u people push this girls into problems ,what assurance do u have if she leave me now she will get a husband immediately? why this so much hurry,, is marriage not about getting it right? is it now about beating a certain age mark,, she told me her self, of all the guys she have met l am the one that have shown her real commitment and love,,she told me how most people disturbing her are married men, should she now let me go simply because l dont have money now and she must do as others are doing before she is 30? you know what is irritating me is that some of you are making assumptions l am holding her back,maybe when she comes this night l will tell her to go since l am the hindrance,,

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Release that girl from the bondage you kept her in. Let her go and marry he who is ready.
27 is already late; she may never marry again if she passes that age. Many young girls are graduating from secondary school every year and the county is hard. They are looking for men so the competition is High.

Countersam:

Don't move faster than your shadow. Because when the chips are down even your shadow will leave you.
Go and see her parents and have a candid talk with them if you are sure of your intentions towards her. If possible have a formal introduction,

this is a good advice,,

tibatobi:
you don't want to loose her,you don't want to rush anything=meaning you want to waste her time..who gave u assurance that ur biz will grow?..70- 80 percent of New biz startup in Nigeria die within 5 years....if the girl get work make u na join hands together and start life... Now.

what do u mean waste her time,, if by chance we were not meant to be together don't you think my own time is wasted? do you know how many girls l turn down because l am committed to her? my own business will grow my brother,, so stop the permutations,, she was single from her 20- 26 before l met her was l the one that wasted her time,, ? why didn't marriage come if it was that easy? now me that decides to commit my soul and everything is the one wasting her time? why are u people like this? so all the girls in their late twenties and thirties who are not yet married all have men wasting their time right?

Olagoods1:
You are still struggling Don't let her manipulate you...... you are simple! Or maybe u want to keep fucking the pussy for the next 3 years ..Why would you say you don't want lose the girls Omoh. You are making her feel she's is helping you by staying with you. Keep making money many girls will toast you by themselves without forcing things... Even good woman that has money..

see bro in all honesty l dont fancy that kind of life, l just want to meet a single woman l understand and she understands me too and we build a life together,, l feel it is the university l attended that wasted most of my time,if l have join the business world,, on time all this would not have been an issue,, l want to keep her because she is good, most guys on a lady's dm are their just fvck them,, l want us to build this thing together, If God sees out effort and commitment he will help us,,

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s ,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

You are right. But you shouldn't be dating if you ain't ready for marriage.

nijaomegacode:

Release that girl from the bondage you kept her in. Let her go and marry he who is ready.
27 is already late; she may never marry again if she passes that age. Many young girls are graduating from secondary school every year and the county is hard. They are looking for men so the competition is High.

will u marry her? you that you are serious? because husband is scares? so can l connect both of you for marriage or u just want to be stupid?

victooman:
will u marry her? you that you are serious? because husband is scares? so can l connect both of you for marriage or u just want to be stupid?

No. Please send me her contact. I will love to marry her.

victooman:
will u marry her? you that you are serious? because husband is scares? so can l connect both of you for marriage or u just want to be stupid?

Youngman , calm down. You drop a.post asking for advice but your reply to what some.pple are saying is too aggressive and confrontational.

even if one or two persons opinion sounds harsh or unpopular to you, stil calm down. Despite some response sounds blunt bt if you look deeper, there is some truth in wat they are telling you.
You sound too authoritative Nd strong headed. Hope say your leadership style if you nd dis woman begin live for huz no go dey too authocratic.

You appear too narrow minded . We all as human are unique and understand things in from our various experiences nd see things differently.
Relax Nd learn

person when come out for mkt square to ask for help no dey run mouth.

gerizzim:


Youngman , calm down. You drop a.post asking for advice but your reply to what some.pple are saying is too aggressive and confrontational.

even if one or two persons opinion sounds harsh or unpopular to you, stil calm down. Despite some response sounds blunt bt if you look deeper, there is some truth in wat they are telling you.
You sound too authoritative Nd strong headed. Hope say your leadership style if you nd dis woman begin live for huz no go dey too authocratic.

You appear too narrow minded . We all as human are unique and understand things in from our various experiences nd see things differently.
Relax Nd learn

person when come out for mkt square to ask for help no dey run mouth.

l am sorry about that,, but l dont see any truth in people making it look as if l am wasting her time,, people do this all the time they build themselves and at the end marry,, l was sincere with her and didn't lie to her,, people accusing me of what l dont know about are the once annoying me,, l accept some of my outburst were too harsh,, l will try to hold my self,, Thank you.

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

you're being selfish with your reasoning. You only want to have her around because you think if you lose her it'd be difficult to replace her. Be a man. Leave her and focus on your business. Fate has a way of balancing things the way they're meant to be.

LieDetector:
you're being selfish with your reasoning. You only want to have her around because you think if you lose her it'd be difficult to replace her. Be a man. Leave her and focus on your business. Fate has a way of balancing things the way they're meant to be.

guy been a man is sticking around and working things out instead of running away as long as she didn't tell me she want to go as God will have it u will see our wedding card on Nairaland

victooman:
bro the thing weak me,, all l am asking is for her to be patient,,

She can still be patient and you will still end up wasting her time by not getting married to her. Just let her be.

If you are really serious with her you will find a way.

But guy, instead of wasting her time and still falling her hands at the end, why dont you just let her go?

The lady that i was dating in 2018 told me that she can't continue with me that she wants to get married, up till date she's still single. Be like she don dey run codded olosho for lagos island as we speak.

So just let them be.

victooman:
small boy,, look at an idiot calling me a small boy? pls come and collect her number and marry her since you are the adult here,, so because l dont have the finance for marriage now l am a small boy,, the one that will pay her bride price at a go are the mature ones? did u even go through the post or u just want to blab?

You're a small boy because your reasoning is below par. You don't understand women.

If you had any sense, you'll let her go in peace instead of bringing your foolishness to the public.

Allow the girl go and marry, you are unripe for marriage. Focus on making something out of your life. You want a girl to live with you in poverty and then when she turns old, you'll abandon her. You nor wise. The girl wise pass you.

Number 1 rule...Never be afraid to lose anybody

zed7:

You're a small boy because your reasoning is below par. You don't understand women.

If you had any sense, you'll let her go in peace instead of bringing your foolishness to the public.

Alow the girl go and marry, you are unripe for marriage. Focus on making something out of your life. You want a girl to live with you in poverty and then when she turns old, you'll abandon her. You nor wise. The girl wise pass you.

you are the bigger fool for thinking starting marriage with wealth automatically means it will remain like that ,, you call a person that makes 6- 7k on daily basis a poor person? are u daft? maybe you are in one mushroom job earning 50k and u dare say trash to me,, l don't have money for marriage now is another way of saying l am not settling for mediocrity,, l want something big and large for my self and family,, it doesn't mean l am as poor as an e warrior hungry Nairalander like you.

bad boy but na hire purchase be that o!

Extratyre01:


Give am Belle.. Na sure odd be that, she go wait

I laugh in chinese with the way that girl and her mum is going, that girl will soon leave you.
I see an unexpected fight happening very soon. And she will stop calling, texting and even visiting you. I see her entering ghost mode and posting her wedding pics on Facebook 6 months later. I see op regretting not marrying this lady when he had the chance to do so.
Bros ladies always have a plan B back up plan of a guy and she will switch loyalty soon.

Don't pressure her to stay with you, this is a test of true love on her part.

Focus on your business and you won't regret it.

victooman:
what do u mean waste her time,, if by chance we were not meant to be together don't you think my own time is wasted? do you know how many girls l turn down because l am committed to her? my own business will grow my brother,, so stop the permutations,, she was single from her 20- 26 before l met her was l the one that wasted her time,, ? why didn't marriage come if it was that easy? now me that decides to commit my soul and everything is the one wasting her time? why are u people like this? so all the girls in their late twenties and thirties who are not yet married all have men wasting their time right?

commot hand for her matter if u are not ready to marry her now.... So that u can go face business... And get marry when u make money...Redpill Advice

Marriage is overrated

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

oga take your time to build your life and busines,if she can not wait let her go. People like her mum will bill you when you come for introductio.

victooman:
guy been a man is sticking around and working things out instead of running away as long as she didn't tell me she want to go as God will have it u will see our wedding card on Nairaland

OK. Wish you the best

victooman:
Exactly my point bro,is not like l want to gather millions before marriage,but to set a good and stable source of income for all of us,, so why should the traditional mindset of the society be a major limitations,, women in their 30s give birth and do all things women in their 20s do,,so why the so much pressure..

I will always keep saying it rushing into marriage thinking two heads are better than one will only make you include your children heads into suffering, well I don't don't really know your dream tho, but if you don't dream to get married and after 6 months still remain in a rented apartment, better hustle hard b4 getting married, I know of a young man tho, who got married, while he was a teacher n d lady he married as well a teacher in a private skool, I can bet both of them salary if coupled up is not up to 70k monthly, the last time I visited him, mheen I just told myself I don't want this life for myself, not that he is suffering but 4yrs into d marriage still in a rented apartment, not looking healthy tho......, well at this point you have to know what you want and make a decision based on that.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

If all mothers are like that gal mother most Gals won't remain single. This relationship call dating na scam. If you are not ready for marriage stay away from dating. You are dating a gal sleeping with her having private times together her mother start complaining you de murmur.

Bros go and explain yourself to your gal friend mother before she lay curse on you. 80% of single guys always have this same excuse "I want to establish before I marry" but you go f**k all the colours of pusy 5years you never balance. A wife is cheaper to maintain than a gal friend go and ask.

Thank God both of you are graduates you could work together and achieve anything. Two heads are better than one. Fact that you even have a vision make it simpler marry her and bring her to your vision.

All these people blaming the gal mother don't know anything, all she asked her daughter is bring the person you are dating let me meet him cus she already knows her daughter is seeing someone.

If you love her as you have said go and meet her mother and explain things to her. So she won't feel ashamed having a daughter without a man. Women likes it when men are toasting their daughters it's a show that their daughters are valuable.

Let's stop all this dating thing. if you are to date let it not exist one year.

victooman:
l am not obsessed with virgins bro, l also fvcked other people present girlfriend,, so how am l better than her?

See what I'm saying. You are even bragging about the major causes of stagnation.

Odds

There is blessing in marriage! And if she's the right one for you, why are you afraid! If she loves you like you claim she will fight her people off from exploiting you during the marriage rites, if that is your fear. Most of my friends that married ladies that loves them, had the lowest marriage expenses, na the on wey no love you, go follow her people dey task you. As a married man you will not loose your independence when you marry, na when you marry the wrong woman, you go loose everything

victooman:
Who is holding her? so 27 means she is getting old? l am writing this from a more point of concern than what l stand to benefit,, she had exes before we met, if marriage is that easy why didn't any of them take the step? things can work out even in less than a year and l will do the needful,, telling her she can go is a clear sign l wasn't even in love at the first place,, so if she love me she will wait,, if she want to continue gambling l wish her well,,

I love your spirit and your resolve about this. I will still advise that you stand your ground and don't be pressurized or emotionally blackmailed into going into something you KNOW that you aren't ready for yet. That's how they are always emotional about even the basics of living, when a man is trying to be logical and objective about current realities.

Do not just fall for it. If she'll wait, fine. If she feels she can't or that it's too risky for her, still fine let her move, no hard feeling. She's not doing you any favour, they want her to bring home a trophy. Go into marriage on your own terms. All the best man

Dont miss the opportunity to wife a good woman, many who choose to make money before settling down have a different story to tell.
This is my percent